Kingdom of Broken Hearts
by TheRoseAlchemist17
Summary: 358/2 Days spoilers! Alea Hart, a new Kingdom Hearts fan, suddenly finds herself in the world of the game during 358/2 Days. After getting recruited into Organization XIII and taking the name Alexa, she has a big decision to make- should she attempt to change the game's ending? Cover art by kinda-cool-dude.
1. Chapter 1: Endings and Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

 **(October 2, 2017)**

 **Hi everyone! Welcome to my first Kingdom Hearts fanfic! I started writing this way back in April, and my writing style has changed and (hopefully) improved a lot since then, so I decided to go back and rewrite this chapter. I haven't changed it too much, just a few things here and there.**

 **A huge thank-you to my BFFs Mother of the Universe and Jackie Vocacia for all their support and help in writing this first chapter! I never would have published it if it weren't for you guys. I can't thank you enough! :)**

 **The title was inspired by my BFF Jackie Vocacia, and it'll make sense later on in the story, I promise.**

 **Okay, this author's note is long enough! Here is the very first chapter of Kingdom of Broken Hearts, newly rewritten! I really hope you like it! :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Disney, or any of the canon worlds/characters/dialogue/ANYTHING.**

Chapter One: Endings and Beginnings

"Nononono... That can't be the end... It can't be! There has to be more..."

The words came out in a whisper as I stared at the top screen of my 3DS XL, tears blurring my vision. "It can't end like this!"

But the credits were scrolling up the screens now. It was over. It was all over.

Before you think I've lost my mind, let me explain that I had just finished Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days. After nearly three hours of trying to beat the final bosses (and lots of crying... I admit, I cry easily), I had finally made it. The game was over for me. I guess I should have been happy, right? I mean, I had beaten the game. It was an accomplishment.

But in a strange way... Roxas, Axel, and Xion had become my... digital friends, I guess. After long stressful days at school, I'd unwind by killing Heartless and finding out more of Roxas's backstory. I'd freaked out when Xion pointed her Keyblade at Roxas in that Twilight Town mission. And when Xion revealed her final form? OK, I'll admit, I cried a little. But I quickly recovered and struggled through her battles. I didn't want the game to end. I wanted it to go back to the beginning, when my trio of digital friends got along happily. I swear, sometimes I felt as if I was there with them as they sat at the top of the clock tower. I could almost feel the wind, taste the sea-salt ice cream. Whenever Roxas grinned, I felt like he was smiling right at me.

But then I'd blink. Back to reality. Back to overwhelming homework, fighting friends, and all my everyday worries. Instead of being in the Castle that Never Was or Twilight Town, I would find myself back in my bedroom, my faded pink wallpaper welcoming me to the real world once again.

Now the game was finished. I had blinked back to reality for the last time.

The credits were still playing, the occasional picture of a moment from the game appearing to break up the darkness the white text scrolled up. I wiped my tears away with my left hand and struggled to silence my crying. I didn't want my parents to know I was sobbing over a video game. Not that they would have thought something was wrong with me or anything, I just... I don't like people seeing me cry.

"The End" declared the words on the bottom screen now. Underneath the simple phrase was a picture of Roxas shedding his Organization XIII cloak- and his past- in favor of his new life. In the top-right corner, the Sea-Salt Trio sat happily on top of the clock tower, ice cream in hand.

It hurt. Why did this game always have to rub the feels in my face? Xion was dead, or, at least, forgotten- which was worse than death, in my opinion. Imagine living your life and making friends and then- _poof!_ They all forgot you ever even existed. Just the thought made more tears spill out of my blue-green eyes. That's what had happened to the girl I had shipped Roxas with so much- my newest OTP. Only not really 'one' true pairing, since I had at least a dozen of them from my multiple fandoms. But now Xion was gone and Roxas was stuck in some digital land with digital friends (however that worked, I wasn't entirely sure), thinking whatever bits he remembered from his time in the Organization were just crazy dreams.

That made me wonder- what if every time I had a dream, it was really a memory from a past life? But that didn't really make any sense. My dreams were way too random. And what if I had a nightmare? I mean, I hadn't had once since I was six, but still. Next time I had one, I'd think that whatever monster my mind had invented was something from my past coming to get me. Lovely.

I realized then that my thoughts had been wondering all over the place. With a sigh, I pressed the 'Start' button on my 3DS, saved the game, and powered off the console. The two empty, dark screens reminded me that it really was game over. Goodbye, Twilight Town and Castle that Never Was. Farewell, Roxas and Axel and Xion... _Nononono why did she have to die..._ I mean, I knew why, but... It was still so sad!

My thoughts were a swirling storm of emotions and soon even I had to admit I was tired. What time was it, anyway? It was a Friday, so there was no school tomorrow (thankfully). I could basically stay up as long as I wanted, within reason. I picked my phone off the desk and double-tapped the screen, almost dropping the device back onto the wooden surface when I saw the numbers displayed. "2 AM? How can it be that late?" I gasped, quickly scrolling through a bunch of missed messages from my friends. Nothing too important.

Just how long had that boss fight taken? I struggled to remember. I came up to my room just after dinner (about 7:30), messaged my friends for awhile, then had gotten frustrated by yet another fight among them and decided to vent out my frustration by killing Heartless. Only, I ended up battling two Organization members instead. One of which was Xion... Why did this game make me so sad?! It's just a video game!

But no. Kingdom Hearts was more than just a video game to me. It had been a big part of my world for the past few months. I'd played it when my eyes were filled with tears, when I was stressed, longing for a change. Why couldn't my life have more adventure in it? Like Sora, or Roxas. Their lives were filled with excitement.

Only... I'm not exactly brave. Sure, I'm outgoing and friendly. My friends say I'm one of the most kindhearted people in the world. But I'm not strong. I get scared easily. I'm emotional. I have a list of fears I keep in my dresser drawer that I started when I was ten and kept adding to, even now that I was almost fourteen. Five pages of wrinkled printer paper, filled by my greatest worries scribbled with my lucky pink pencil. Some of them I had outgrown, thankfully, but others still haunted me. If I happened to fall into an adventure, I'm so weak I'd almost certainly get killed in some horrible way. Before any of the exciting things really happened, I'd be dead.

Oh. Lovely thought. Was this another thing to add to my fears list? 'Dying in an adventure before it really begins.' I sighed and stared up at the ceiling, my storm of emotions dying down and making me feel empty inside. _This is why video games exist,_ I thought. _So people like me can go on adventures. It's for the best I'll never get to go on a real one. I'd for sure find a way to ruin something._

With that thought, I stood up from my desk and got ready for bed.

 **~Time-Skip~**

You've probably already guessed by now that something really weird happened that night. And since I made a big point of mentioning how I was perfectly happy to stick with videogame adventures, it only makes sense (in a weird, twisted way) that a real adventure would come my way. Well, stop guessing, please. You're ruining the story for yourself.

Speaking about you, have you ever had a dream so real, so vivid, that you honestly believe with all your heart that it's completely real while it's happening? You never doubt it for a second, except for maybe the ironic thought of "This is so amazing, I must be dreaming!" or "If only this was just a nightmare..." And when you wake up, it takes you a moment to realize you've come back to reality. I have those dreams often, although usually I can't remember what they were about. I'm just left with a strange feeling, like whatever I dreamt was a part of my life I'd suddenly forgotten. Actually, wasn't that how Roxas felt after his dreams near the end of the game...?

But I'm rambling again. Sorry, I do that alot. I swear that last paragraph was important to the story though. You'll see.

I don't even remember falling asleep that night. Next thing I knew, I was standing next to the front gates of a large mansion. It was sudden, with no warning. I blinked several times, looking around in surprise. It was hard to see the mansion through the huge gates, to my left, while on my right was a large empty lawn that ended in a forest. In front of where I had 'appeared,' I guess, was more lawn which was cut off by a wall of trees. Behind me was the same. What had just happened?

I stood there stupidly trying to remember. Something was bugging me, though. Something seemed off. It took me a few moments to realize what it was: I felt ... empty. Uncaring, sort of. Only not really. It was almost like being in shock, when all your emotions just woosh out of you. I felt like something was missing. And for some reason this place seemed awfully familiar...

I closed my eyes for a second, trying to remember where I had seen those gates before. An image popped up in my mind that caused me to open my eyes with a gasp. _A scene from a video game. A teenage boy with spiky blond hair and shockingly blue eyes. He's standing by a gate, exactly where I am now. It's more pixely and very CGI but definitely the same spot. In front of him stands a man in a black cloak._ It was so familiar; a scene that I'd watched dozens and dozens of times. I knew exactly where I was now, but I just couldn't bring myself to really believe this was actually happening.

No way. It couldn't possibly be.

Was I- Had I- _Was I really in Twilight Town?_

No way. My life isn't some fanfiction where people just randomly appear in the world of their favorite video game. Where had I been before this? _Think!_ That's right, I was at home, in bed. So why... How...?!

It couldn't be a dream. It had to be, but it couldn't possibly! It was so real. Then again, with me, it was hard to tell. I had dreams like this often.

I was so confused. I just wanted-

I tensed, noticing a movement out of the corner of my eye. Turning toward it, I took a few steps backward in surprise, almost falling over when I backed into the gate. The rough chill of the metal against my back started me, and I let out a small squeak of surprise. _Smooth, Alea, real smooth,_ I scolded myself mentally. Oh, that's my name, by the way. Alea Hart. Guess I should have mentioned that earlier, huh? Sorry.

The main reason I was so surprised was that a hooded figure in a black cloak was walking toward me. But _I recognised that cloak._ As the figure came closer I could see the glint of golden eyes from underneath the hood's shadow.

Here's the weird part, though (even though I guess suddenly finding yourself in a strange place with a creepy guy in a black cloak walking toward you is pretty weird, huh?): I wasn't afraid. I mean, my brain was telling me "Danger, danger!" but I didn't get all panicky and run away or even cry like I normally would have. I stayed calm, maybe just a little nervous. It was... well, weird.

"You seek answers," the cloaked man spoke. He was now so close I could see his eyes clearly, along with a few stands of gray hair. It was _him._ I wanted to say his name, ask him why he was here, or where here even was. Although I knew. I knew where I was. But I couldn't say anything. My mouth wouldn't move. I could only nod dumbly as the man continued, "I can give you purpose."

If you've ever played 358/2 Days you know by know who the stranger was and what was happening. So did I, mostly. As the glowing letters appeared in front of me, spelling out my first name, I thought how odd it was that I wasn't scared, or excited, or anything, really. I felt... numb, I guess. I didn't even question what was happening. It seemed perfectly normal now. The letters spun around me, finally stopping to spell out "Alexa." _Not very creative,_ I thought. But something made me want to say it aloud, so I did: "Alexa."

And then it fully hit me, like an avalanche coming out of nowhere: Xemnas just made me a member of Organization XIII.

 _Xemnas just made me a member of Organization XIII._ I really _was_ in Twilight Town.

Did that mean... Was I a Nobody?

Xemnas was right. I did want answers. I had a lot of questions.

What would turn out to be the biggest adventure of my life had just begun.

 **Author's note:**

 **So there you go! There's the first chapter of Kingdom of Broken Hearts! Why is Alea in Twilight Town? Why did Xemnas recruit her into Organization XIII? What adventures wait in store for her? Will she ever return home back to her world? Keep reading! This chapter may be over, but the story's only just beginning.**

 **Thanks for reading! :)**


	2. Chapter 2: More Questions

**Author's Note:**

 **Hi again! Here's another chapter of Kingdom of Broken Hearts! I'm happy to have this chapter posted less than two weeks after the first one. I update my stories very randomly, sorry. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and/or followed! Y'all are my motivation to write more of this story. Hope you like this new chapter!**

Chapter Two: More Questions

The exact details of what happened after I joined the Organization are a fuzzy blur. At some point I was given a uniform (the black cloak that the members wore literally all the time), shown around the Castle that Never Was (all those confusing white hallways...) and, on the day I arrived, was introduced to the other Organization members. I remember seeing all of the other members around me, from Xenmas to Roxas. _Roxas._ Whatever the Organization's leader was saying at the time, I didn't hear it. Because even if this was just some super realistic dream, Axel and Roxas were real, at least for now. I still couldn't really believe this was all real. It was too sudden, too overwhelming. But there was no shock, no fear, no excitement. Why did I feel so... _empty_ inside?

The answer came to me as I studied the other Organization members while I was being introduced. _We were all Nobodies._ All of us lacked the hearts that had once made us human. We no longer could feel. Although what that really meant hadn't sunk in yet. All I really "felt" was dull shock.

But enough about me. You probably want to know more about the members of Organization XII.

There was Xenmas, of course. Eyes the color of bright flame, hair like old ashes. Something about him scared me, although I wasn't sure what. I mean, a lot of things had scared me before, but this was... different. It's hard to explain.

His seat in the Round Room towered above all the other members, including myself. In fact, mine was the smallest in height. I felt like I could make it taller if I wanted to, but I was... afraid, I guess. Even though I technically couldn't feel fear, being a Nobody now and all. (But how did that even happen?)

I knew the other members were studying me. I sat up as straight as I could and tried to appear friendly. Looking back, I think serious would have been a better choice, but I couldn't help my personality. Even without a heart, I was just a friendly person.

I tried hard not to look at Axel. I really did. I didn't want my face to give anything away. But it was almost impossible to ignore his flaming red hair. I always imagined it being gelled into hard, unmoving spikes, but no. The points of his hair were natural, the spikes not quite as defined as in the game. I didn't realize I was staring until his gaze met mine. It was all I could do not to gasp. His eyes... the video games didn't nearly capture their true likeness. They were like flames made of mint-green ice, glaring at me so fiercely yet I couldn't look away. Finally I forced myself to break away from his stare, noticing him smirk as I did so.

As hard as it was to not look at Axel, it was even more impossible not to glance over at Roxas. This was the main character of the game that I loved, sitting here only a few feet away. He was real. I knew if I could feel emotion I'd be freaking out right now. Even without my heart I still had a sense of how amazing this was. No way was this a dream... right?

Roxas was watching me, his expression hard to read. His eyes were so huge and blue, his blond hair sticking up messily. On the screen of my 3DS Roxas had looked short, but in person I could see he was taller than me. I was the youngest, smallest, and weakest member of the Organization. That made me a little nervous, but I'm an optimist, so I figured it wasn't too bad. Hopefully they wouldn't send me on the most dangerous missions.

It was after the meeting was over and I was back in my room (it was nearly identical to Xion's, in case you were wondering) that I really started to worry. I stared out the window down at the world below as my thoughts ran around inside my head. Why was I doing this?! What was I thinking when I let Xenmas recruit me into the Organization?! I couldn't fight! I was strongly against vioence! I cried every time a spider was squished. How was I suppose to fight- to kill- Heartless? I knew that if I could still feel I'd probably be nearly having a heart attack from stress.

I started pacing around the small room, something I rarely do. It helped to walk while I thought though. At least, I think it did.

Another thing I had to worry about was the Kingdom Hearts storyline. Where was I in the advents of the game? Roxas was a member, but I hadn't seen Xion. Alothugh, she didn't have a seat in the Round Room, did she? She wasn't really a member. I hadn't see any giant glowing hearts in the sky, so it was before day 94 at least. And it had to be before Castle Oblivion, since all of the Organization's members had been at the meeting. What day did that start? I couldn't remember...

I stoped walking around the room abruptly as a horrible thought occured to me. If I really was in the world of Kingdom Hearts, during 358/2 Days, _what if I messed something up?!_ There was a whole new character in the story now- me! The weird, numb feeling was quickly fading and my mind was working faster now, asking so many questions it hurt. What if my being here changed something? Like, I don't know, what if I accidentally said something about the future and ended up changing it? And how long was I going to be here? Until the events at the end of the game?

Oh, no. The end of the game. I think I groaned aloud as I thought about the events leading to the game's conclusion. Roxas leaving. Xion dying. Riku-

Wait. Waitwaitwait _wait._ I was upset Xion had died at the end. So what if...

 _What if I changed the ending?_

 **Author's Note:**

 **Sorry this chapter was shorter than the first. I debated on making it longer, but decided to leave it off on a sort-of cliffhanger. Hope you liked it! Reviews are greatly appreciated! Thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3: The First Mission

**Author's Note:**

 **Wow, this chapter took me a lot less time to write than I thought it would! I'm pretty happy about the length, too.**

 **Remember how at the end of the first chapter I said this story was going to be pretty short, maybe only three or four chapters? Well, I've come up with a ton more ideas for it and now I estimate 20 chapters total.**

 **Anyways, here is the next chapter! Hope y'all like it!**

Chapter Three: The First Mission

After about twenty seconds, I'd convinced myself that changing the ending of the game was a terrible idea. For one, even if I managed to stop Roxas from killing Xion, Roxas would die. Xion would absorb him and that wouldn't be good. The horrible truth was that the end had to stay the same. Xion had to die.

Ugh. That sounded so harsh and horrible.

I wasn't too happy with my life at that moment. I get thrown into my favorite fictional world, only to make sure everything stayed exactly the same. I wished I could change things, make sure everyone got a happy ending. I liked those. I didn't want anyone to be sad, or unhappy... or dead.

I flopped down on my bed, miserable and confused (although, misery is a feeling, isn't it? This no-heart thing was so confusing!). Even worse, I felt guilty for not being thrilled about ending up in my favorite video game world. I just wanted to fall asleep and wake up back in my room at home, my only connection to the Kingdom Hearts universe being my 3DS.

Or did I really? Here was a chance to hang out with Roxas, Xion, and Axel. A chance to affect this world for the better (or possibly worse, I guess, if I messed something up). A chance to change _something_. Maybe I could do at least one thing to make this story have a better ending.

Who knew? Maybe my time here would even change me, too. Hopefully for the better.

I sighed, closed my eyes, and must have fallen asleep because when I opened them there was a loud, annoying knocking on the door. I was confused at first, wondering why I was in a strange room that looked vaguely familiar... _Oh. Right. I'm in Kingdom Hearts now._ Would I ever get used to this, waking up in one of my favorite fictional worlds? Pretty weird thing to get used to.

Whoever it was knocked again and I got up off the bed with a sigh. What time was it, anyway? There didn't seem to be any clocks at all in the castle. The sky was always dark, but it couldn't have been night... Could it?

I opened the door, surprised to see Demyx standing there. "'Ey!" he greeted me cheerfully, while I just stood there like an idiot. What did Demyx want with me? I didn't know a whole lot about him, but in the game he appeared to be a slacker. His weapon was awesome though.

"Um, hi! Demyx, right?" I asked shyly.

"You got it!" he responded with a grin. "Saïx put me in charge of teaching you the ropes and stuff. You know, fighting techniques, how missions work, and all that."

Uh. What?! I didn't think Demyx even trained anyone. Wasn't he more of the nonviolent type?

"F-Fighting? I don't even have a weapon..." I stuttered. I do that sometimes when I'm nervous or surprised, and finding myself in the KH world and being trained by Demyx was definitely a surprise. Not that I didn't like him, he seemed nice enough... Not as scary as some of the other Organization members. I remembered Axel's intense stare and decided that I was glad he wasn't teaching me, as awesome as he was. And why did I even have to learn to fight? I mean, I knew why. I was a member of Organization XIII. But I hated violence!

Demyx looked surprised for a moment, then his grin reappeared. "Ohhh, so you don't even know yet, do you?"

"K-Know what?" I asked. If I could still feel I'd definitely have been nervous right then, as it was I still felt uneasy.

"Eh, you'll find out soon enough. I won't ruin it for you. You ready to go?" Now Demyx looked bored, as if training me was some punishment he had been assigned. Normally I would have felt guilty, but with this whole no-heart thing... I didn't even feel guilty for not feeling guilty. I nodded, stepping out of my room and closing the door behind me.

"Don't I need a weapon or something?" I asked as Demyx summoned a Dark Corridor. The swirling portal of black and blue seemed kind of scary, and I wasn't exactly thrilled about going through it.

"Nah," he replied, not even glancing over at me. "You should be fine." He disappeared into the corridor, leaving me with no choice but to follow.

I don't really have the words to describe what being inside the Dark Corridor is like. It's, well, dark, and I'm not a huge fan of it. Why couldn't it have been a light corridor instead?

At last we exited the corridor into the underground tunnels of Twilight Town. "So, first I'm supposed to teach you how these missions work," Demyx told me, not seeming too happy about it. "It's pretty simple. Saïx gives us missions, we do them. Easy as that. Got it?"

I nodded. "Get the misson, do the mission. Easy. So, what's today's assignment?"

"Well, I'm supposed to start teaching you the basics, but uh, you seem pretty smart, so I'll bet you can handle this on your own. All you gotta do is find the treasure chest hidden somewhere in the passage. Not hard, right?"

I hid a smile at how so typical of Demyx this was. "That's all I have to do? Find the treasure chest?"

"Find it, open it, and meet me back here. I'll be, uh, watching for Heartless."

"Okay!" This was basically the same as Roxas's first mission in the game. Maybe the treasure chest would even be in the same spot! This would be super easy. _Almost too easy,_ I thought.

I waved to Demyx before hopping up to the main level of the passage. Or, at least, I attempted to. Roxas made it look so easy in the game, but in reality the two... steps, I guess, were both almost as tall as me. It took a few jumps before I was able to grab onto the edge and pull myself up, my muscles screaming in protest. Hopefully I wouldn't have to do too much of that.

After making it up the second step, I paused to gulp in a few gaps of air. I probably looked really stupid, struggling to even get over that simple obstacle. I could feel my face turning red (which, if I didn't have a heart, how did that work? So many questions!) and I really hoped Demyx wasn't watching. I was too afraid to check if he was.

I kept going, walking down stairs and flipping switches and getting myself completely lost. Hadn't I passed by that exit three times already? I refused to admit defeat and kept walking until finally, after what seemed like forever, I finally found the treasure chest. I let out a little squeal of relief and flung it open (it wasn't even locked) to find a little green glass jar. A health potion, maybe? I put it in my cloak's pocket and tried to find my way back to Demyx.

I got lost again. I was hopeless.

By the time I finally found Demyx I was pretty upset. I had almost failed my first mission. If Axel had been with me instead of Demyx, I probably would be kicked out of the Organization for my poor performance.

"Oh hey! How'd it go?" Demyx asked when he saw me. He was leaning casually against the wall with his arms crossed.

"Um, well..." I hesitated. Did I really want to admit how long it took me to find the treasure chest? I had no choice. Demyx had been waiting all this time, after all. And lying was wrong. I sighed. "I sorta got lost. Twice. I couldn't even find my way back here right away."

Demyx shrugged. "No big deal. The passage can be confusing at first. Did you find the treasure chest though?"

I nodded, relieved that Demyx wasn't disappointed in me. "Yes. It took me awhile, though. Did I... Did I fail?"

Demyx blinked. "Fail? Um, no. You got the treasure chest, right? That was the objective for the mission. So you didn't fail."

I held back a sigh of relief. "So, am I done?"

"You're done," Demyx agreed. He summoned a Dark Corridor, and we headed back to the castle.

My first mission as a member of Organization XIII was complete.

 **Author's Note:**

 **I'm not too happy with this chapter. Writing about missions is my least favorite part of this fanfic, but I hope I did okay. Please leave a review and tell me what you think! Thanks for reading! And a huge thank you to all my reviewers/favoriters/followers! The next chapter should be up within a few days.**


	4. Chapter 4: Even More Questions

**Author's Note:**

 **200 views! This story has reached 200 views! Thanks so much y'all! :D Sorry this chapter isn't the best, I have decided to write more short chapters instead of fewer longer ones. This way the updates come sooner, plus I'm less likely to get writer's block like I usually do with longer stories. Anyways, here's the latest chapter of Kingdom of Broken Hearts!**

Chapter Four: Even More Questions

After my mission was over and I was back at the castle, I didn't really know what to do. I didn't really have any friends yet (well, maybe Demyx was kind of my friend?), which was odd for me. I'm the type of person who makes friends really easily.

But things were different here. For one, everyone else was way taller than me and kind of intimidating. As much as I wanted to hang out with the sea-salt trio, as I called them, I was nervous. What if they didn't like me? Or I messed up and mentioned something that I shouldn't know? It would be so nice to know where I was in the events of the game! The only way to find that out was to ask Roxas how many days he had been in the Organization, and that would mean actually talking to him.

Here I was, in the same building as Roxas, and I was too nervous to talk to him. Wasn't nervous a feeling? Shouldn't I be fearless without my heart? That would have been nice.

I ended up just going back to my room and writing in the diary I vaguely remembered Saïx giving me when I first arrived. It wasn't black or white, like I had imagined Roxas's diary to be, but a light purple. I liked the color, even though I wasn't a huge purple fan. I was more of a pink person. Or red, because it was pretty close to pink.

I opened up the diary to the first page and wrote my name (Alexa), adding "Got it memorized?" after it out of habit. Oops. Well, these journals were supposed to be private, right?

I flipped to the next page and wrote about my time in the Organization so far, careful not to mention anything that I wouldn't want Xenmas to read, just to be safe. Once the entry was finished I hid my diary under my pillow, the pen stuck inside as a bookmark.

I had no idea how late it was. Time was weird here. I really wished I could find a clock, but I hadn't seen one since I arrived at the castle. Eventually I realized how tired I was and fell asleep.

 _Three days,_ was the first thought I had when I woke up. It had to be a new day. I don't know how I knew, but I did. This was my third day in the Organization.

My room in the castle had a little bathroom connected to it, and as I passed by the mirror I paused. The past couple of days I hadn't really noticed my reflection, but now I was suddenly aware. Was that really me in the mirror? I turned my head, and the refection did too. It _was_ me. I looked so different it startled me.

For one, my normally light-red hair was now much brighter, almost the same shade as Axel's. It was still the same length, falling down in waves. What really startled me, though, were my eyes. Before I found myself in the world of Kingdom Hearts, they had been a blue-green color.

Now they were golden. A bright, intense yellow shade.

I slowly backed away from the mirror, bumping into the wall behind me and scaring myself so much I ran out of the room. How could I look so different?! Not that I looked bad, really, it's just- well, imagine if you looked into the mirror, expecting to see the same face you always did, only to find a stranger staring back at you. Well, OK, maybe my appearance hadn't changed that much. My skin was still light and freckled, and I was still as short as ever (how come my height hadn't changed?! That would have been awesome). Well, at least I hadn't shrunk. But still, it was really, really weird.

While I was running I had literally no idea where I was going. I passed through several hallways and I think a staircase at one point. I just wanted to get away from those eyes that had stared back at me.

Only I couldn't. Because those were my eyes.

 _I'm scared of my own reflection. Really?!_ I scolded myself as I started to slow down. I turned a corner and-

Crashed right into someone.

We both fell over onto the hard white floor. I just lay there for a second, too embarrassed to get up and face whoever I had just knocked over. Too embarased to admit I was running because I was scared how much I had changed.

Whoever I had run into stood up. "Are you okay?" they asked me. It was hard to tell who they were from their voice, but I was too afraid to look. What if it was Saïx? Or, even worse, Axel? Actually, running into pretty much any Organization member was bad.

I sat up, still avoiding looking at them. "Y-Yes. Sorry I ran into you, I was just..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say.

"Late to get your mission for the day? Yeah, me too. I wasn't really looking where I was going. We'd better hurry or Saïx won't be too happy with us."

Now I dared to look up, surprised they weren't mad at me for crashing into them.

Huge blue eyes. Spikey blond hair. _Did I seriously just run into Roxas?!_

I stood up. "Right... Roxas, right?" _Aarrgghh! I just said 'right' twice!_

He nodded. "And you're... Um..."

"Alexa," I told him. Weird how that was what I instantly thought of when people asked me my name now, instead of 'Alea' like I had been saying all my life.

"Right. Alexa. Well we'd better get going if we don't want to be even more late," Roxas told me with a smile.

I couldn't believe this was really happening. Was I actually talking to Roxas?! If this had happened back before I became a Nobody I probably would have stuttered so hard I couldn't even talk. I was actually starting to get used to this whole no heart thing, oddly enough. It wasn't so bad.

I nodded. "Let's go!"

We both ran through the maze of hallways, me behind Roxas so I could follow him since I had no idea where we were going. We burst into the Grey Area met by Saïx's cold glare. "Looks like our newest member finally decided to show up," he announced. I quickly glanced around the room to find it mostly empty, except for Axel standing by the window near Saïx.

"Sorry," I apologized. Saïx didn't seem to hear me.

"Today you'll be going on a mission with Axel to work on your battle skills," he told me. I nervously glanced over at the tall redhead as he walked toward me.

"You ready to go?" He seemed slightly annoyed about training me.

"Um, don't I need a weapon or something?" I asked timidly. I found it was a lot easier to speak up now that I was a Nobody, but it didn't make me fearless.

Axel shot a glance at Saïx before looking back at me. "Don't you-"

"Let her find out in her own time, Axel," Saïx interrupted. "For now, just let her borrow something from the weapons room."

What was that about? What did Saïx mean? And didn't Demyx say something similar the day before? Why did I keep having more questions and so few answers?!

My next mission as an Organization member was about to begin. Maybe today I would discover what Demyx and Saïx meant.

 **Author's Note:**

 **Yes, I know, that was an awkward place to leave it off. I wanted to end the chapter before the mission though. Sorry. D:**

 **Please leave a review and let me know what you think so far! Thanks for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5: An Answer (Kind of)

**Author's Note:**

 **This story is way more popular than I ever imagined it would be! Thank you so much y'all! I don't have much else to say except for that you guys keep me writing. Every review makes me super happy, and I really appreciate it! I hope you like this latest chapter!**

Chapter Five: An Answer (Kind of.)

After a quick stop at the weapons room of the castle (where I chose a simple sword because it seemed like the easiest thing to use), Axel and I headed through the Dark Corridor to the Sandlot of Twilight Town.

"So, do you know what Heartless are?" Axel asked me, rubbing his hair awkwardly.

I nodded. "Are... Are we learning fighting today? Because I'm not very good at that. I'm not into violence.

Axel snorted. "Well you won't survive two minutes outside the castle, then. You're going to have to be into violence, pipsqueak."

 _Pipsqueak?!_ It bothered me when people teased me about my height. It wasn't my fault I was short!

"Fine," I sighed. "I've never fought before so I'll probably have a lot to learn."

"We'll start with the basics, then."

Axel taught me how to hold the sword and the basics of fighting. I didn't like it. The sharp metal gleamed in the light and made me nervous. This thing... it could kill. I didn't want to use it.

But it's not like I had a choice. As a member of Organization XIII, I needed to fight. Even though everything inside me was screaming this was wrong, I was able to ignore it. Must be the no-heart thing.

Once I had learned how to use the sword, Axel had me walk out a little further into the Sandlot. Something told me that Heartless were going to appear, and I was right. Three Scarlet Tangos spawned just in front of me. I tensed, everything I had just been taught disappearing from my brain like data from a computer chip when you hold a magnet up to it. I didn't want to fight... I couldn't fight... Why did I have to do this?! Looking down at the metal in my hands, I couldn't imagine myself slicing Heartless with it. I was frozen, unable to move. My gaze was locked on the trio of Heartless as they moved to attack...

But it never came. A flash of red and black swiftly killed all three Scarlet Tangos before I even realized what had happened. Nothing remained of them but little pink blobs of mist I guessed were hearts that slowly faded away. I couldn't hear anything except my own heavy breathing, and I realized my hands were shaking.

"What is wrong with you?!" Axel's angry voice broke through the silence, and I glanced at him sharply. His eyes were like icy flames as he glared at me. "You just froze up! Do you have no instincts whatsoever? You could have gotten killed!"

I knew I was probably staring at him blankly, his words barely sinking in. That numb feeling of shock was back. I couldn't attack the Heartless. I just froze up. Why couldn't I do this? I'd never survive in this world if I couldn't even fight!

"Forget the Heartless." I realized Axel had been talking to me for the past couple of seconds, but I hadn't been paying attention. "You need to start at the very beginning." Without warning, he lashed out toward me with one of his weapons, those large circles with spikes around the edges. _What were they called?_

This time, I didn't freeze up. I acted. I jumped out of the way, my sword held out to block his next swipe. Why was this suddenly so easy?

Axel seemed to be struggling, his swings too wide and uncontrolled. It wasn't hard to dodge. What was up with him? I dared a glance at his face after another avoided attack and felt a stab of fear. The look in his eyes was one of pure rage. Not good. What had I done to make him so angry?

My shock was so great I lost my grip on my sword. Axel knocked it from my hand easily, the clammer of metal against stone reminding me that this was a battle. "You win!" I squeaked out nervously. "I surrender! I can't fight!"

The fierce gleam left Axel's eyes, leaving him frowning. "What's up with you? For a minute there, you had..." he shook his head, seeming to reconsider what he had been about to say. "Forget it. I guess I just got caught up in the fight. Sorry for going too hard on you, kid." His weapons disappeared, but his worried expression didn't. "You did better with me than with the Heartless, though. Stick to one-on-one combat for awhile." I nodded, picking up the sword.

"Axel.. Am I going to get kicked out of the Organization?" I had blurted the question out before I even realized it.

The tall redhead didn't react for a second, although I think his eyes widened slightly in surprise. "Why would you think that?" he asked me.

"I... I took forever on my mission yesterday," I admitted. "I froze up today. I can't fight. What use am I to Xenmas? Am I... Am I even a Nobody?" I don't know what made me ask that last question. Maybe it was because I felt I could trust Axel. He had been Roxas's best friend in the game, after all. I needed answers, and who else was I going to ask?

Axel looked away. "You're not gonna get kicked out, kid. Not unless you do something stupid, anyway. If you're so worried about it, hurry up and learn to fight." Axel wasn't telling me everything, I could tell. I didn't want to push him though.

"Can we try again?" I asked shyly. To my relief, he nodded and summoned his weapons.

This time, I made the first move, darting toward him with my sword. He blocked, pushing my blade away and knocking me over. I rolled out of the way as he aimed a blow toward me, leaping back up to my feet and lunging toward him again. I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, but I kept thinking _attack dodge don't let him hit you stay standing be on gaurd ,_ a mess of whispers inside my head ordering commands. I was doing fine at first, but soon I noticed I was getting tired and that worried me. We'd only been training for what, twenty minutes or so? I wasn't that weak, was I?

Well. OK, I wasn't exactly strong. I've never been into sports. I couldn't lift heavy things, like grocery bags or huge stacks of library books (even though I tried often). Even the sword I held now was making my arm muscles sore, but I had to fight despite this weakness. _I wasn't going to be a burden! I was going to fight!_

That was when Axel knocked the sword out of my hands for the second time. My muscles were thankful for the sudden disappearance of the weight, but the rest of me was horrified. I ducked down to grab my weapon, but Axel kicked it away and I lost my balance. I was down, staring up into Axel's firey mint-green eyes in dispair as he held his weapon over me in victory. I was hopeless.

 _But I'm not giving up. I'M NOT GIVING UP!_

Without thinking, I held out my left hand and felt something warm and solid appear in it, filling me with strength. I pushed Axel's weapon away and scrambled up to my feet, ready to continue the fight.

But Axel was smirking, his weapons by his side. "So it is true. You really are a Keyblade wielder."

What? Did he just say... Suddenly I remembered the object in my hand and slowly glanced over at it, hardly daring to believe that it was what I thought it could be..

Oh my God. It was.

There, in my hand, was a beautiful, majestic, _keyblade._

 **Author's Note: I'm terrible at writing fight scenes. I apologize. Also, yes, Alexa has a Keyblade! Why? And how? Find out in a later chapter of Kingdom of Broken Hearts! Thanks for reading!**


	6. Chapter 6: Lies

**Author's Note:**

 **Five hundred views. This story has gotten so many more views than I ever would have guessed. Every review makes me so happy, and 23 of them in the short time since this fanfic was first published? I still can't believe it! You guys are the best.**

 **So I'm sorry this chapter is pretty short. The good news, though, is that we're basically done with the boring introduction stuff and the real story is about to start! Also, I apologize for the slight cliffhanger in the last chapter. Hope you like this latest chapter!**

 **Oh, one need I need to point out: I made a mistake in the first chapter and described Alea's eyes as being emerald green. They are actually blue-green. I apologize for the mistake.**

Chapter Six: Lies

I couldn't tear my gaze away from the Keyblade in my hand. I was holding a _Keyblade._ A _real_ one, not some cosplay prop. (Not that those aren't still cool!)

I bet you're dying to know what it looked like, right? Well, it was kind of similar to the Kingdom Key... Only not at all...

Let me start over.

My Keyblade had a pinkish-purple handle that kind of looked like butterfly wings- one half-heart on either side. Dangling from the bottom of the handle was a little chain with a small silver heart at the end. The main part of the blade was silver, like the Kingdom Key, but the teeth at the end were straight instead of jagged, and fancy swirls were carved into the metal. It was absolutely amazing. I couldn't believe it was really mine.

"You didn't know, did you?" Axel's question interrupted my thoughts as I tore my gaze away from my Keyblade. I shook my head.

"H-How... How is that even possible? Don't Keyblade wielders have to go through some training thing? Why do I have one?" I didn't know too much about how wielders got their Keyblades, but I was pretty sure they didn't just magically appear in their hands one day, like mine had.

Axel shrugged. "Don't ask me, kid. Anyways, I think that's enough for today. Don't want to wear you out." He dismissed his weapons and I wondered how to do the same. I glanced down at my Keyblade (I'll never get used to saying that- 'my Keyblade') and thought _you are dismissed._ There was a small flash of light and the Keyblade disappeared. That was easy!

"Thanks for training me," I told Axel politely. "Sorry I'm such a newbie when it comes to fighting and stuff." I was kind of glad we were done for the day, as my muscles were really tired. I had a lot of work to do if I wanted to survive in this world.

Axel just shrugged and rubbed his hair. "You'd better learn quickly or you won't last too long here," he warned. _Gulp._ I nodded.

Axel summoned a Dark Corridor and we headed back to the castle. (Don't worry, I remembered to grab the sword before we left. Well, after Axel reminded me, that is.)

We arrived just outside the weapons room, where I carefully put the sword away. When I came out, Axel was gone. I was alone again.

Also I had no idea how to get to my room from here.

As I wandered through the confusing hallways (I swear, they all look the same!), I kept picturing the Keyblade that had appeared in my hand earlier. I couldn't believe it belonged to me. How could I even wield it? Once again, I had so many questions and practically no answers. Would I ever get any?

"Hey, Alexa!"

I turned around as I heard someone call my name from behind. It was Roxas, walking toward me with a friendly smile on his face. "Where are you going?"

"Um, trying to find my room. I sorta got lost," I admitted.

Roxas grinned. "Yeah, these hallways sure can be confusing." He paused, hesitating. "You know Axel?

I nodded. "I went on a mission with him today. Well, it was more of a training session. You and him are friends, right?" _Oops! I probably shouldn't have said that!_

"Yeah, I guess you could call us that! Anyways, we meet on top the clock tower in Twilight Town every day after our missions. You should join us sometime."

I had just been invited to join the sea-salt trio! Well, actually, it was more of a duo now. Oh my gosh- I was joining the trio before Xion! That was weird.

"Thanks," I told Roxas with a smile. "That'd be great."

Wait a second. Why was Roxas so outgoing and friendly? If it was currently before Axel went to Castle Oblivion, then shouldn't Roxas still have been quiet and reserved?

Something was off.

"Hey... You okay?" Roxas's voice broke into my thoughts, startling me.

"Huh? Oh! Yeah, I-I'm fine. Just got lost in thought for a secon." I forced a laugh, which felt really weird. I guess it was hard to laugh without a heart. But didn't Axel and Roxas laugh all the time?

"Oh, I know what that's like. I tend to get really involved in my own thoughts sometimes," Roxas said with an understanding smile. He smiled a lot.

Something _had_ to be wrong with the timeline.

"Um, Roxas? How... How many days have you been in the Organization?" I blurted out.

He looked confused for a moment, but it quickly faded. "20. Why?"

 _Day 20._ It was so early in the game.

Had Roxas and Xion been friends by the twentieth day? I couldn't remember... No, they couldn't have been. Axel hadn't even gone to Castle Oblivion yet. Roxas should still have been acting like a zombie. Plus Roxas had only asked me if I knew Axel, not Xion.

So why...

Realizing my new friend was still waiting for an answer, I shook my head. "Just curious. I... I'm counting the days I've been here. Got to hold on to something, right?" _I_ _just quoted something Roxas hasn't even said yet! Aarrghh!_

"Yeah. I.. I don't have any memories from before I joined the Organization," Roxas admitted. "Do you?"

Um. How did I answer that? It would be easiest to lie, but that was wrong. Lying was something I never did, and never would do. "No."

The word popped out of my mouth before I could stop it. I lied. I told a lie to my new friend, who I already knew because I had played as him in a video game. Why did I ever think going on an adventure would be fun?! And what had happened to my moral standards? Before I lost my heart I would never dream of not telling the truth, especially to a new friend. I should be apologizing now and correcting myself, telling Roxas that I actually did have memories but I'd rather not talk about them.

Instead, I opened my mouth and told another lie: "Well, actually... I remember some things, but not all."

Who was I becoming? I wasn't myself anymore, that was for sure. Alea would never lie, except for harmless ones like telling a friend I loved her outfit when really I didn't. Apparently Alexa made things up without even thinking about it.

I didn't like it. I didn't like being here. I just wanted to be Alea again.

"I... I have to go," I told Roxas, taking a few steps back before turning to run down the hallway.

See? I told you I'd never survive in a real adventure. All I was good for was running. And messing things up.

I couldn't stay here. I had to leave.

 **Author's Note:**

 **Sorry that chapter wasn't the best. Originally Roxas said "yeah" like 10 times before I realized I was being redundant. Although, he does say that often in the game doesn't he?**

 **Anyways, the next chapter will be longer and (hopefully) better. Sadly it probably won't be posted for awhile, maybe in a week or two. Sorry to disappoint.**

 **Reviews are greatly appreciated! I love knowing what the readers think about my writing. See y'all next chapter!**


	7. Chapter 7: Fear

**Author's Note:**

 **Oh my gosh- 750+ views! Thanks so much y'all! Sorry this chapter took a little longer to write, I ran into some writer's block near the end. Hopefully you'll like it though!**

 _The thing about running is that it can only take you so far. At some point you have to stop, turn around, and face whatever you had been trying to flee._

 _Sometimes you have to fight to survive._

Chapter Seven: Fear

I knew how Roxas felt when he made the choice to run away from the organization, even though he made his choice for an entirely different reason. I was leaving because I shouldn't really have even been there. I didn't belong. I could never belong, as much as I wanted to- and I did, more than almost anything. I mean, I knew the Organization's real plan and all, but...

OK. I'll admit it. I wanted to stay for Roxas. When I had beat 358/2 Days, I wished for a chance for things to work out happily for him. He didn't deserve to have one of his best friends die. He shouldn't have to suffer so much. Sure, he would forget it later, but still...

I ran faster, aware of nothing but the blur of white hallways flying by, my mess of confusing thoughts, and the sound of my heavy breathing as I raced to escape the castle. I didn't know where I'd go once I left, or how I would avoid the Organization finding me again. I just knew I needed to get away from there.

I turned a corner, stopping abruptly when I saw someone was blocking my way. _Saïx._

"Going somewhere?" he asked casually.

Before I became a Nobody, if I had run into Saïx like that I probably would have stuttered out some nervous response or run away. But not anymore. No more running, unless it was for the benefit of others. I'd be doing everyone a favor if I left. I didn't belong here. "It's none of your concern," I answered him bitterly.

"Oh, I believe it is. You weren't thinking of running away, were you? We don't tolerate traitors," the blue-haired man standing before me said.

"I-"

"She was just training, Saïx. Not everyone who runs around the castle is a deserter. I told her to do a few laps as punishment for taking so long on her mission yesterday. Bet Demyx left that out on his report, right? Alexa let it slip today that she almost failed yesterday. Can't let that go uncorrected."

I turned around to find Axel standing just behind me, his arms crossed and a spark in his eyes. Was that anger? Disappointment? I couldn't tell. "A-"

"I see," Saïx interrupted my protest. He and Axel were exchanging glares. "You should keep an eye on her. It almost looked like she was heading toward the exit." I guessed that Saïx knew perfectly well Axel was making all this up (well, except for the part about me almost failing my mission yesterday) but he didn't say anything about that.

Axel shrugged. "She doesn't know her way around the castle yet. Right, Alexa?"

I hesitated, shocked. Axel was covering for me? He must have known I was planning to leave. Why was he lying for me? It's not like we were friends. He barely knew me.

So I told another lie. I nodded. Although, I guess I wasn't exactly lying. I really didn't know how to navigate the castle's confusing hallways yet.

My old self would probably be throwing up about now, but I didn't really feel any guilt. If Axel was willing to lie to keep me in the Organization, well... Maybe I'd stay and try to work things out.

"I think you're good for the day," Axel told me. "C'mon, I'll show you the way back to your room. Unless you've got it memorized already?" _He said it. Oh my gosh, I actually heard Axel say his catchphrase in person._ I shook my head. "Let's go, then." Axel turned and walked back down the hallway, leaving me no choice but to follow. I swear I could feel Saïx's stare as he watched me leave.

Me and Axel walked for a few minutes in silence before he abruptly stopped, turning towards me angrily. "Leaving our group already? What were you thinking?" he asked me, his voice calm but his eyes definitely not. "You have a death wish?"

"I... I just... I can't stay here," I answered honestly.

"Well, that's too bad. If you leave, Xenmas will just bring you right back." Axel crossed his arms and stared down at me (did I mention that he's really tall?).

"You don't understand. I shouldn't be here. I don't belong here. I..." I looked down at my feet, unable to meet Axel's accusing gaze. I waited for him to say something, but the hall was silent. I hoped no one else was nearby.

"It's your choice, kid. If you want to run away so bad, go ahead. Just don't blame me when you're a Dusk... or dead," Axel said at last.

I hesitated. Suddenly, leaving the Organization didn't seem like such a great idea. Plus, who knew... Maybe if I stayed I'd be able to change something for the better in this world.

"Maybe... Maybe I should stay," I said quietly. "I'd rather not become a Dusk..." I looked up. "Thanks, Le- Axel!" _Oops oops oops oops oops!_ Why had I almost said Axel's original name?! Where did that come from?! I felt my face grow hot and resumed walking.

He followed. "What did you just say?" I could hear the suspicion in his tone.

How did I answer that? Another lie? I was so sick of lying. But I couldn't exactly tell the truth, could I?

So I did it. Again. I said words that were false. "Sorry, I almost called you Lexaeus by mistake. I'm still trying to remember everyone's names."

Axel seemed to accept this. "Well, it's Axel. Get it memorized."

Twice in ten minutes. Was I lucky or what?!

Eventually Axel dropped me off at my room, and I wrote in my dairy for a bit before falling asleep. Life in the Organization was tiring.

When I woke up, the first thought that popped into my mind was _four days._ My fourth day, Roxas's 21st. It felt like I had been here so much longer than that, though. My old life was like some half-forgotten dream. Maybe it had only been a dream. I honestly didn't know anymore. What is reality, anyway? Maybe it's different depending on which world you're born in. Could there be multiple universes? Weird to think about.

Somehow I was able to easily find my way to the Grey Area, immediately looking around to see who else was there. I saw Demyx sitting on one of the sofas, Roxas talking with Axel by the glass wall, and of course Saïx was there in his usual spot. "Alexa, you'll be with Demyx again today for training," the blue-haired man told me. I nodded.

"'Ey. Ready to go?" My mentor for the day greeted me, standing up. I nodded again. "Cool." A Dark Corridor was summoned and we left.

Soon we arrived in the Tram Common of Twilight Town, where I noticed several Heartless were watching us nearby. My Keyblade appeared in my hand without me really even thinking about it; it was like an instinct now. Demyx seemed to notice. "I've heard you have trouble with fighting Heartless. Figured I'd give you some practice today, since I'm supposed to teach you how missions work and stuff." Just as he finished talking, a nearby Dire Plant shot a seed at us. Thinking fast. I held up my Keyblade like Roxas did in the game. Sure enough, the seed bounced right off it and went sailing back towards the Heartless. I have to admit I felt a tiny bit bad watching the flower Heartless disappear as it was killed. All that remained were a few pink blobs of whispy smoke.

"Are those... hearts?" I asked Demyx, who nodded.

"Yep, sure are. And it's your job to collect them with that Keyblade of yours."

"How?" I wondered. In the game, the hearts simply floated up off the screen without you having to do anything. How did that work in the real world? _I just called Twilight Town the "real world." Have I gone insane?!_

"Dunno. Never done it," my mentor for the day answered with a shrug. "Just walk over there and see what happens."

"O-okay." I timidly walked toward what remained of the Heartless. After only a few steps the pink blobs floated up off the ground and started coming toward me. I flinched and closed my eyes, but they didn't hit me. I opened my eyes and they were gone. My Keyblade felt warmer than usual and was glowing, but it faded after a second. _Oh._ Of course. The Keyblade absorbed them.

"That's pretty cool!" Demyx commented from behind me. "There are a ton more Heartless out here. Your goal for today is to kill five of 'em. Then I'm supposed to lecture you on how just because you reached your goal, doesn't mean you have to stop, blah blah. Whatever. Just defeat four more of those things and you'll be done." Typical Demyx. I nodded my understanding and looked around, spotting a Scarlet Tango just up ahead. Yesterday I had froze up and almost gotten killed by some of these, but not today. With my Keyblade in my hand, I felt like I could do anything. Even if I was strongly against violence, I had to kill this thing. It was dangerous.

So I ran toward it, holding my weapon out in front of me. As soon as I was close enough, I leapt up to slash at the Heartless and... missed by a good two feet. I hadn't realized how high those things hovered.

I landed heavily, barely keeping my balance. The Tango wasn't even fighting back, it just kept circling me like it didn't quite know what I was. I needed it to fly down just a little lower... There! I lunged at it, feeling guilty for killing this thing that seemed so much more alive than it had on the screen of my 3DS back home. I think I actually might have said "Sorry!" out loud as it disappeared leaving nothing but hearts behind. Yes, I felt pity for a Heartless. But hey wait, didn't pity count as an emotion?

After the hearts had been absorbed into my Keyblade, I continued my search for Heartless. I didn't have to go very far, three Dire Plants were just up ahead, near the hole in the town wall that led to the forest. I just had to defeat this trio of Heartless and then my mission would be complete.

All three plants shot out seeds at the same time, and I didn't know which to block first. I panicked and ran off to the side, avoiding them. Why did I have to be such a coward?! I didn't want to be. I wanted to be brave, but my fear was too great.

Where was Demyx? It would have been nice if he was helping me, but I realized then he had let me run off by myself. Oh well, I had to learn somehow, right?

Because the thing about running is, it can only take you so far. At some point you have to stop, turn around, and face whatever you had been trying to flee. Sometimes you have to fight to survive. That's the cold, harsh truth.

So I turned around, facing those evil flowers that were almost as tall as me. I held up my Keyblade with shaking hands, and even though I was outnumbered, I blocked first one, two, then three seeds. Before I knew it the trio of Heartless was gone. I stared at my hands in astonishment. Where had that bravery come from?

"Hey, not bad!" I spun around toward the voice that had spoken behind me, relieved to see it was Demyx. Wait a second...

"You were watching me all this time?" I asked, already knowing the answer. He nodded.

"I don't know why Axel said you weren't too great at fighting Heartless. You did pretty good. Well, could have done better with the Scarlet Tango, but eh. Ready to head back?"

Still semi-shocked, I nodded. Then I remembered something.

 _Roxas paused, hesitating. "You know Axel?"_

 _I nodded. "Yeah, I went on a mission with him today. Well, it was more of a training session. You and him are friends, right?"_

 _"Yeah, I guess you could call us that! Anyways, we meet on top the clock tower in Twilight Town every day after our missions. You should join us sometime."_

"Actually... You go back without me. I want to stay here for a bit," I told Demyx.

He frowned. "You sure? Can you even summon Dark Corridors?" Oh. I hadn't thought of that.

"Well, I haven't exactly tried yet. But I'll be fine, I know another way back." Another lie. Why did I keep doing that?

Demyx seemed reluctant, but he finally agreed. I waited until after his Dark Corridor closed before running off toward Station Plaza. I remembered how to get there from the game, and I only ran into a few Heartless, which I ignored. I didn't know why I was doing this. It would be better if I stayed away from the Sea-Salt Trio, in case I messed something up. But yet my feet were taking me straight toward the clock tower, and honestly, I wanted this too much to protest. I felt like I belonged on top of that tower with the main trio, which was crazy because they barely knew me- or each other, actually. That tower meant so much to me, even though I had never been there in person. After every mission in the game, every hard boss that took me weeks to defeat, as long as the Sea-Salt Trio met up on top of the clock tower after it was all worth it. Because then I got to hang out with my digital friends. Only now they weren't digital anymore, they were real.

I stopped abruptly just outside the big glass doors leading inside the clock tower building. Was I really ready to become friends with Roxas and Axel? What if they didn't like me? What if...

I sighed, turning away and walking back down the stairs. Going up there was a bad idea.

Or so I told myself. But in reality, I was just too scared.

 **Author's Note:**

 **Hopefully this chapter was long enough. I always worry they're too short. Please let me know what you think in a review! Thanks for reading!**


	8. Chapter 8: Sea-Salt Ice Cream

**Author's Note:**

 **I honestly thought this chapter would take me a lot longer to write. Sadly it's also much shorter than I wanted it to be, but oh well. The next chapter should be a lot longer.**

 **Thank you so much to everyone who reads, follows, faves, and/or reviews this story. I hope you like this new chapter!**

Chapter Eight: Sea-Salt Ice Cream

Twilight Town really is a pretty place. The sun always appears to be sinking down behind the clouds, causing the sky to light up with beautiful hues of pink and gold. Station Plaza is the best place to observe the amazing view. However, at that moment I wasn't in the mood to admire the sunset. I was mad at myself, upset with the world, and wondering just what I had done to make the universe want to torture me so much. Of all the real-world people to throw into the universe of Kingdom Hearts, why me? Why pick a short 13-year-old girl with no fighting experience whatsoever who hated violence and was terrified of just about everything?

What if I really wasn't supposed to be here? Maybe time and space glitched or something and my presence in this world was just a mistake. That was most likely, although depressing. It was a bit happier to imagine that I was 'chosen,' somehow, to be here. But who would choose me, of all people? It didn't make sense. Nothing made sense. Sense didn't even make sense anymore.

Alea would have been crying by then, walking quickly with her head down so no one would see her tears. I couldn't cry now, however. It was as if all my tears had dried up and disappeared. And there was no point in lowering my head, there was no one around to see me, even if I did have tears to hide. I had never felt more alone in my life.

I sat down on the bottom step of the clock tower building (was it some kind of station or something?) and rested my chin on my hands. I needed time to think.

Four days. I had been here, in this world, for almost four days. What if... Was time still passing back home? When I got back, would I wake up in bed on April third, or who knows how long after then? Did my family and friends miss me? Did they even know I was gone? "I miss them," I muttered aloud. "Don't get in to too many fights while I'm gone, okay guys?"

I knew I was just talking to myself, but it helped. A bit.

Then I heard footsteps.

I leapt up off the step, my Keyblade appearing in my hand as I frantically tried to figure out what direction the footsteps were coming from. There were only two entrances to Station Plaza, either from the street connecting to it or the underground tunnels. I relaxed and dismissed my weapon as I saw Axel and Roxas walking toward me, each holding a familiar blue popsicle. I guess they hadn't gone up to the clock tower yet.

Roxas's huge blue eyes lit up when he saw me. "Alexa! Me and Axel were just heading up to the clock tower. Want to join us?"

I hesitated. _You shouldn't interfere with the story_ , a voice inside my head warned.

But I couldn't say no to Roxas. It was impossible. Plus it wasn't like me joining Axel and Roxas on the clock tower once was going to mess up the storyline, anyway. For all I knew my time in this world could end tomorrow. I wasn't going to let my fear stop me this time. The universe had just given me a second chance, and I was going to take it.

"Sure!" I agreed. "I'd love to, thanks."

"Great! I'll go grab another ice cream. Here- take mine. It's untouched, don't worry," Roxas responded with a grin, holding out his popsicle to me.

I hesitatingly took it, stuttering out a thanks as our hands brushed.

I stared at my right hand- the one holding the ice cream- while Roxas ran off. "Hey, are you going to stand there all day or are you coming?" Axel's voice questioned loudly, breaking into my thoughts. I looked up to see he was standing by the doors of the building, his arms crossed impatiently.

"Coming, sorry!" I called in response, running up the steps.

I regretted that when I realized how many stairs we would have to climb to reach the top of the clock tower. My legs were aching by the time we finally made it, and my ice cream was half-melted because I took so long. "H-How... Do you climb... all those stairs... every day?" I managed to gasp out, leaning against the wall of the tower to prevent myself from falling over.

Axel smirked. "It's not hard, kid. You must just be out of shape. Someone your size should be able to run up those stairs in no time."

I opened my mouth to reply, but was interrupted by Roxas as he ran up the top of the stairs and reached the top of the clock tower. "Hey, took you long enough," Axel greeted him with a smirk. I realized then that I'd never seen Axel really grin, or even smile- he was always smirking. Of course, I hadn't spoken with him that much.

"Hey, I ran all the way there and back! I was pretty fast!" Roxas protested with a grin. "You're just impatient."

"As if," the tall redhead grunted. He walked over toward the small ledge at the very edge of the clock tower, sitting down and swinging his legs over so he was facing the setting sun. I watched nervously as Roxas did the same. We were so high up... If I fell off that ledge...

"Alexa? Your ice cream's melting," Roxas pointed out. I tried to ignore my fear and sat down on the ledge next to him. It was windy up here, blowing my hair around my face so much I could hardly see as I held on to the ledge for dear life, swung my legs over, and forced myself to not look down at the town far below us. I gathered up my hair and put my hood up, stuffing it inside. Better. I could see now, although a few strands remained loose and windblown.

"Sure is a great view, isn't it?" Axel commented, biting off a chunk of his ice cream. I nodded, still not risking a glance down. I was terrified the wind would blow me off the ledge at any moment. How were Axel and Roxas so relaxed up here?

"You're only seeing half the view if you keep staring at the sky! Look down," Roxas urged. "The town seems so small from up here."

I took a lick of my popsicle for courage, closing my eyes as I tasted the sweet saltiness of it.

Closing your eyes when you're on top of a really tall clock tower with high winds is not a good idea. I quickly opened them before I lost my balance.

Axel chuckled. "You're not afraid of heights or something, are you?" he asked me.

"...M-Maybe just a little," I admitted, taking another lick of my ice cream. The taste was addicting, salt and sugar and milk. I actually hated milk, but ice cream was tolerable. I'd never had sea-salt ice cream before, but after just a few tastes I knew it was my favorite.

"Ouch. There are a lot of high places in the world," Axel commented. "Including up here. Why'd you come, anyway, if you don't like heights that much?"

"I just... I'm tired of spending so much time alone," I answered after a moment. It wasn't the whole truth, but close enough. "Plus you guys seem nice... Nicer than some of the others, anyway. It's good to have friends."

"Right!'" Roxas agreed. He and Axel had already finished their ice cream, I realized. I hurried to eat the last few bites of mine, putting the stick in my pocket to throw away later.

The sky really was beautiful. Gold and pink, two of my favorite colors. Sitting here with my two new friends, everything was just so perfect.

I didn't want to leave. Not just the clock tower, this world. I mean, this universe or dimension or whatever the correct term was. I felt like I belonged here.

It hurt so much knowing that I couldn't stay here... or could I?

I sighed and stared at the pretty colors in the sky. I knew I would never forget this moment, ever.

Oh no. Xion. I completely forgot about her. Had I taken over her spot in the trio?! _Of course not_ , I told myself.

At least, I really hope I hadn't.

 **Author's Note:**

 **Another awkward ending! I didn't want this chapter to go on too long, so I decided to end it there. Sorry.**

 **The next chapter will probably be published within the next week or two!**


	9. Chapter 9: WINNER

**Author's Note:**

 **Oh my gosh! This story got 1,000 views in a month! Thanks so much y'all! :D**

 **I apologize this chapter isn't the best. I had writer's block for awhile, but I got through it and managed t finish this chapter!**

 **Now we're really getting into the main plot of the story. As much as I try not to use the exact dialogue from the game, at some points I have to (although I try to change it so it's not exactly a direct quote). So:**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the quotes from the game used in this fanfiction. I own nothing except my OC (Alexa/Alea).**

 **Also, there isn't an author's note at the end this time because I couldn't think of anything to say.**

Chapter Nine: WINNER

Back in my room at the castle later (Axel summoned a Dark Corridor for us so I didn't have to worry about how I would get back), I filled up a good seven pages in my journal with rambling worries and thoughts. I forgot to make sure I didn't mention anything about my past, in case Xenmas or Saïx read it for some reason. Oops. Well, it was supposed to be private, right...?

As tired as I was, I had a hard time falling asleep. Every time I closed my eyes I saw the sunset again, Roxas and Axel sitting to my right on top of the clock tower. It had been nice (better than nice- it had been amazing!), but maybe not exactly the best idea. I should have just tried to stay away from the Sea-Salt Trio. Hanging out with them could alter the timeline, and who knew what that could cause?! I groaned aloud thinking about it. It just wasn't fair. Here I was, in one of my favorite fictional worlds, but I was focusing so much on not changing anything it was wearing me out. If life were perfect, I'd be able to just hang out with Roxas, Xion, and Axel without possibly destroying the world in the process. However, life was far from perfect. Even back home, things were never easy for me. I guess life is hard for everyone, no matter what world/universe/dimension you're in. Or maybe I'm just really unlucky?

It seemed like I had closed my eyes for only a second or two, but somehow when I opened them I knew it was morning. Day five, whispered the voice in my head. ("The voice in my head... " Oh God, I sound insane!) Today was Roxas's 22nd day. Left Behind was the name of the level, if I remembered correctly. Why is it that I could never remember things I learned in math class, for example, but I knew so many random small details from Kingdom Hearts?

Instead of leaving my hair down like it had been since I became a Nobody, I quickly braided it. Now it wouldn't get in my face during missions or on top of the clock tower.

By the time I headed down to the Grey Area, only Saïx and Demyx were still there. "Alexa, you'll be with Demyx again for your mission today," the blue-haired man told me. I nodded, expecting this. I was not, however, prepared for what he said next. "I'm sending you to take out a more powerful Heartless that was reported in Twilight Town. I believe you have reached a point in your training where you can only learn more from experience."

It took me a moment to process what he had just told me. "B-But... Are you sure?" I blurted out. "I don't think I'm ready! I barely know how to fight! I've only been on three missions!"

"Are you suggesting that I don't know what I'm doing?" Saïx challenged.

"N-No! But..."

"Then stop arguing. Demyx is waiting."

I nodded, admitting defeat. I wasn't going to be taught anything else? I still barely knew how to fight!

Sighing, I walked over to Demyx. "What's our target today?"

"Apparently two Guardians were spotted in Twilight Town. We only have to kill one of them, though. Axel and Roxas are taking care of the other. Cool?"

"Um, I guess. Aren't Guardians those big Heartless that fly and shoot lasers?" To my horror, Demyx nodded.

"You bet. They're pretty scary looking, too. So, you ready to go?"

I tried to hide my fear as I replied, "Y-Yep."

We left the castle through a Dark Corridor, arriving in the Tram Common after a minute. I was relieved as always to leave the dark passageway that was just downright creepy.

"Hey, as a part of your training, why don't you try to find our target?" Demyx suggested.

"Um, okay," I agreed, even though I had no idea how to find a Heartless. Didn't they just sort of appear? I started walking toward the part of town with all the shops, alert for any sign of the Guardian. I could hear Demyx following.

Just as I reached the clothing shop, I saw a flash of shadow out of the corner of my eye. I turned to face it on instinct, my Keyblade appearing in my hand.

There it was. The huge gray Heartless with its beady yellow glowing eyes hovering nearby. Several small Watchers flew around it, their gazes locked onto me and Demyx. "Found our target," I weakly told him. This thing was _huge._ More than twice the size of me, probably Demyx too. How was I supposed to fight it? I tried to think back to the video game. It seemed so long ago now, the times where I would sit at my desk and play Kingdom Hearts to escape from all the stress and worries of the real world. Oddly enough, I actually missed those days. Never thought I would.

I vaguely remembered making Roxas shoot fire at the Guardian in between running around to avoid its laser attacks. Hey, that's right... Why hadn't I been taught any magic yet? It sure would be useful.

"Hey, what are you waiting for? Start attacking it!" Demyx said from behind me. Was he... hiding behind me? I nervously gripped my weapon so hard my hands started to hurt. What was I supposed to do?

 _Stop thinking,_ that little whisper in my mind demanded. _Just start moving._ I decided to listen to it and forced myself to stop panicking. _Think of cute fluffy hamsters, adorable hamsters, small tiny hamsters..._ I focused on my breathing as I took a step forward.

The Heartless had been uninterested in me while I was standing still, but now they recognised me as a threat. Bright beams of light shot at me from all angles so fast I didn't know what to do. I blindly blocked one attack, but two others hit and I bit back a cry of pain. Those light laser things _hurt._ Imagine getting hit by a really small lightning bolt, but instead of electricity it's some sort of pure light. Actually you probably can't imagine that, it's really hard to describe.

As I attempted to block another attack, Demyx started beating up one of the Watchers with his sitar. As much as he didn't like fighting, he was really good. I didn't get much of a chance to watch him, however, as I was busy dodging attacks from the Guardian. Too scared to get close to it, I threw my Keyblade in its general direction hoping for a lucky hit.

It missed.

My weapon clattered down on the ground several feet away. Uh-oh. Maybe that hadn't been the best idea. Now I was without my Keyblade, the Guardian hovering between it and me. What was I supposed to do?! I wanted desperately to run away, but I had to fight. I wanted to stay in this world with Roxas and Axel and heck, even Demyx wasn't so bad. If I ran away, the Organization would know I was a coward and kick me out. Or turn me into a Dusk, I wasn't sure which.

 _No more running!_ I reminded myself, gaze locked onto my enemy as I caught my breath. _Turn your weakness into a strength. Use your fear to sharpen your senses._ Hey, that was actually really good advice!

I noticed the Guardian preparing itself for another attack and realized this was my chance. I ran around it, bending down to grab my weapon before dodging the huge deadly beam of light shot from my enemy. I noticed the Guardian was hovering awfully low to the ground and only hesitated for a second before jumping up and swiping with my Keyblade. It hit! I dodged another beam of light before attacking again. This was working! I was fighting a huge Heartless!

Demyx had just killed the last Watcher and ran over to help me with the Gaurdian. Together we dodged, attacked, dodged, attacked. My fear had faded into... was that confidence?

It seemed like both hours and seconds had passed by the time Demyx hit the Guardian with a final blow and it disappeared. I fell down on my knees in exhaustion, trying to catch my breath as the pink blobs were absorbed by my Keyblade. "You OK there kid?" Demyx asked me, not sounding very worried. I nodded, too out-of-breath to speak.

"Well, the mission's done now. Let's RTC." Demyx summoned a Dark Corridor, waiting for me to follow before he entered it.

My muscles screamed in protest as I stood up, dismissing my weapon. I noticed my hands were shaking and I hid them behind my back.

"Um, actually, I kind of want to hang around for a bit. I'll go back to the castle later, if that's okay, " I hesitantly told Demyx. He shrugged before walking into the portal with a lazy wave.

 _Yes!_ I thought happily, ignoring my sore legs as I ran off to find my friends. Because they really were my friends now. All the fighting, the fear, the pain was worth it if I got to hang out with them afterward.

I found Roxas and Axel in Station Plaza, just about to head into the building. "Hey guys, wait!" I called, running over to them.

Roxas grinned when he noticed me. "Hey, Alexa! I didn't know if you'd be coming today or not." He shoved his ice cream toward me, leaving me no choice but to take it.

"Thanks, but you know I can just go get my ow-"

"Nah, it's no problem! I'll be right back!" He had run off before I had a chance to protest further. I sighed, unable to hold back a smile. Roxas was so nice. He really didn't deserve all the terrible stuff that happened to him.

Me and Axel walked up the million and one steps to the top of the clock tower and sat on the ledge just as Roxas joined us. The height didn't bother me quite as much this time, just as long as I didn't look down.

"You know, I'm going to miss this ice cream thing we do," Axel said after a few silent minutes of us eating our popsicles. I looked up sharply, almost dropping my ice cream. That's right! This day was titled 'Left Behind' because Axel announced he was going to Castle Oblivion.

"Huh? Why?" Roxas asked in surprise, turning toward Axel. I faked surprise too.

"Starting tomorrow, I'm gonna be away," the tall redhead replied.

"Away? Where?" I questioned, pretending I didn't know anything.

Axel hesitated. "Well, since you guys are my friends, I guess I can fill you in," he replied at last. "I'm gonna be at Castle Oblivion for a while."

"Castle Oblivion? What's that?" Roxas wondered.

"The Organization's second castle," Axel answered. He took a bite of his popsicle and stared out toward the setting sun.

I waited for Roxas to say something, but he was silently looking down at his ice cream. I didn't know how to break the awkward silence so we sat there quietly and ate our popsicles until Axel suddenly stood up. "Well, I gotta head back and get ready. You guys take your time."

"Good luck at Castle Oblivion!" I called after him as he left through a Dark Corridor.

The awkward silence was back. Roxas had already finished his ice cream and was twirling the stick around and around in his hand absentmindedly while I slowly took the last few bites of mine. Axel was gone. I mean, he would come back, but for now it would just be me and Roxas on top of the clock tower. Wait, that wasn't true... Xion and Roxas would become friends soon. What day did that happen again?

I sighed out loud as I swallowed my last mouthful of ice cream. Wait a second... Was that a word printed on my popsicle stick?

 _Oh no._ A wave of horror flooded through me suddenly as I stared at that one word on the stick. _How could this have happened?_ I frantically wondered, before it hit me. Roxas had given me his ice cream before running off to buy one for me. I got the popsicle he was supposed to have.

Which meant...

I got the WINNER stick.


	10. Chapter 10: Alone

**Author's Note:**

 **I can't keep up with how many views this is getting! Last time I checked, it was over 1,300. Thanks so much y'all! I'm amazed at how popular this story is becoming.**

 **I'd also like to thank all my Guest reviewers, since I can't message them. Every review means so much to me, and I really appreciate you taking the time to leave feedback!**

 **For some reason, I never got a notification for the last chapter when it was published, and I'm not sure if** ** _anyone_** **did. Hopefully the one for this chapter will send.**

 **Anyways, enough of me rambling! Here's chapter ten!**

Chapter Ten: Alone

I sat there, eyes locked upon that one word on the small wooden stick, for what seemed like hours but must have only been a few seconds before Roxas asked "Alexa? What's wrong?"

"N-Nothing," I stuttered out, tearing my gaze away from the stick. "I'm just... There's a word printed on my popsicle stick. I wonder what it means." I held the stick out to him, once again amazed at how easily I could lie. It made me sick.

"WINNER. Huh... I guess you've won something!" my friend reasoned, studying the stick with interest. "Wonder what it is... Hey, I know! Let's ask Axel tomorrow before he leaves! I bet he'll know." Roxas's eyes shone with interest, and I felt bad knowing that Axel would have already left by the time Roxas arrived in the Grey Area the next day.

"Good idea," I agreed, the words bitter in my mouth. Suddenly, I had an idea. "Hey, Roxas... Why don't you take it?" I offered, holding the popsicle stick out to him. "It was supposed to be yours in the first place. You should keep it." _Please, please take it,_ I begged both him and the universe silently.

To my disappointment Roxas shook his head. "No, you ended up with it. It's like fate wanted you to have it. I wouldn't be a winner if I took it, I'd be a cheater." His kind smile increased my guilt by about a hundred times.

"I guess..." I muttered glumly, putting the stick in my pocket. Yesterday's stick was still in there, as I had forgotten to throw it away, along with the little green bottle from my first mission. I had almost forgotten about that. I took it out, holding it out to Roxas. "Do you know what this is? It was inside the treasure chest I found during my first mission," I asked him, grateful for a change of subject. I was trying very hard not to think about how messed up the timeline was going to be now that I had the WINNER stick.

"Yeah, that's a potion," he replied after only a glance at it. "You don't already know what it is?"

I shook my head, returning the bottle to my pocket. "Nope. I've never seen one before."

"Oh."

We sat in silence for another minute or two, watching the sky. _You have to be careful of every single little thing you say or do,_ I reminded myself. At least, I think it was me. It was getting hard to tell the difference between my own thoughts and the voice that sometimes whispered in my head.

"We should probably head back to the castle," Roxas announced at last, breaking the silence between us. He stood up, summoning a Dark Corridor.

"Right. Want to meet up here again tomorrow?" I asked him hopefully as I followed.

"Sure!" was his reply just as we exited the Corridor into the castle.

"See you tomorrow, then!" I called as I started walking toward my room. I could find it easily now, although I had no idea how. I had stopped questioning most things. It made life simpler.

 **~Time-Skip~**

It seemed as if no matter how hard I tried to get to the Grey Area on time, I was always late. Although I wasn't really sure what time 'on time' was anyway, with there being no clocks in the castle. The only way I even knew the days were changing was the whisper in my mind reminding me each morning. Day _six,_ it had announced when I woke up earlier. Also Roxas's twenty-third day.

The Grey Area was completely empty when I entered, except for Saïx, of course. Huh, that was weird. If no one else was here than who was I going to team up with? Unless... Oh, no.

"There you are, Alexa. Today you will be going on your first solo mission," the blue-haired man announced. _Oh, no!_

"S-Solo? As in, alone?" I knew it was a stupid question the second if left my mouth, but I was so shocked I didn't know what else to do. After only four missions, I was expected to do one all by myself?! There was still so much I didn't know! What had I done to Saïx to make him hate me? He must hate me to send me on a solo mission so early.

"Don't look so terrified. Your fear is your greatest obstacle." Saïx's words startled me. "You need to stop relying so much on others and trust yourself."

I stared blankly at him for a few seconds, completely confused. Saïx was telling me to get past my fear? How did he even know so much about me? What was this, some poorly-written fanfic where the author is struggling with writer's block and just scribbling down the first random thing they think of?!

Ha. I wish my life were that simple. If I were in a fanfic, I wouldn't have to be constantly stressing out about ruining the timeline. Roxas would have a crush on me and- _wait what?! No! I did not just think that! Aahhhh!_ I did _not_ like Roxas. Well, you know, _like_ like. I shipped him with Xion!

I really hoped I wasn't blushing as I quickly glanced away from Saïx's intimidating gaze. "Um, o-okay," I mumbled in agreement. "What's my mission?"

"For your first solo mission, you will be collecting hearts in Twilight Town. I expect you to kill every Heartless you see, Purebloods included. Understood?" I looked back at him and nodded.

"Yes, sir. Um, I do have a question though," I asked after a moment's hesitation.

"And what is that?"

"H-How do I summon Dark Corridors?" I felt stupid asking, but it really would be useful to know. Even more so now that I would be going on missions by myself.

Saïx's reply surprised me. "Have you tried?"

Well, no. I hadn't. But only because I expected there to be some trick to it, something that had to be taught. But maybe...

I turned away from Saïx, holding out my left hand and thinking _Corridor of Darkness, I summon thee for my passage._ I don't know why those were the first words that came to me instead of something a bit easier to say such as _"I summon a Dark Corridor,"_ but to my amazement the swirling portal appeared in front of me. It worked! It actually worked! I faced Saïx again, slightly surprised that I didn't feel a rush of happiness at summoning a Corridor all by myself. But then I remembered that I was now a Nobody. No more happiness-rushes for me.

Saïx gave a slight nod of approval. "Any more questions?"

I shook my head. "No, sir."

"Then leave. Stop wasting time hanging around here."

Harsh. I nodded, turning back to my Dark Corridor and stepping into it.

As scary as it had been going through the Dark Corridor before, it was several times that walking through it alone. I kept glancing over my shoulder, expecting something to be following me. Nothing was ever there though. Just my hyperactive imagination.

I was relieved to finally exit the dark passageway into the Tram Common of Twilight Town. No Heartless were in sight, but I knew it wouldn't stay that way for long. I walked deeper into the town, toward the area with the shops. Strangely enough, still no sign of Heartless. Where were they?

I had just passed the clothes shop when I saw the now-familiar dark flash out of the corner of my eye. _Heartless!_ I turned to face them, my faithful Keyblade appearing in my hand as usual.

There were three Dire Plants and two Scarlet Tangos. Instinctively, I blocked a seed one plant shot at me before quickly stepping out of the path of another, since I didn't have time to deflect both. Two more quick blocks and the Dire Plants were gone, leaving nothing but Hearts behind. The Tangos were trickier to kill. They hovered just out of my reach, shooting large balls of flame which I struggled to dodge. How was I supposed to attack one of them without getting hit by the other? I couldn't afford to wear myself out now, there were probably a ton more Heartless I needed to take care of. I decided to try the throw-my-Keyblade-and-hope-for-a-lucky-hit strategy again. After carefully aiming at one of the Heartless, I let go of my weapon and watched as it slammed into a Tango, knocking it down. I rushed over, picked up my Keyblade, and slashed at the Heartless until it disappeared. I noticed the ball of fire heading toward me just in time, quickly holding up my weapon to block the attack. Now I could focus on defeating the lone remaining Tango.

It hovered just in front of me, preparing another attack. I swiped at it with my blade only a few times before it was defeated.

As I paused to catch my breath, I could barely believe how quickly I had gotten rid of the small group of Heartless. I was definitely getting better at fighting. Was that a good thing? As much as I hated violence, in this world it was necessary to survive. I guess it's hard to hold on to moral standards in a kill-or-be-killed world, especially when you don't have a heart.

So I kept going, fighting a few other small groups of Heartless. It got harder and harder the more tired I grew, and by the time I was battling the fifth cluster of enemies I had barely any strength left. Four Scarlet Tangos surrounded me, a Dire Plant not too far off. All five of them were preparing attacks. I was overwhelmed, not knowing which Heartless to attack first.

The Dire Plant fired first, but I didn't react in time to block the small, really painful seed that hit my right arm. Time seemed to slow down as the Tangos aimed their attacks, and I knew it was all over. There was no way for me to escape. I couldn't block all four attacks at once.

 _This was it. This was the end._

So... why did I suddenly feel all this energy running through me? If I was about to die, what was the point of being flooded with energy? Everything was moving so slow. I saw so clearly.

 _This was it. This was just the beginning._

I lunged at one of the tangos, then another, then another, until before I even realized what happened all four of them had disappeared. My short-lived burst of energy vanished, leaving me barely able to stand up. I fell down on my knees, trying to catch my breath and wishing the ground would stop spinning...

I had never been more tired in my life. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't think straight, couldn't summon a Corridor...

Suddenly I remembered the little green bottle in my pocket. I took it out, twisted open the lid, and drank the clearish green liquid inside. Almost immediately I felt a lot better, my strength returning. The bottle disappeared once it was empty.

I stood up and grabbed my Keyblade, which was lying on the ground a few feet away. _Please don't let there be too many more Heartless,_ I begged the universe silently as I continued my search. To my relief, I didn't find any more. My mission was over.

Which meant it was time to head over to the clock tower.

I honestly had no idea where the ice cream was sold, so I went straight to Station Plaza to wait for Roxas. To my surprise, he was already there, waiting for me on the building's front steps with a popsicle in either hand. "Hey!" he greeted me, holding out an ice cream.

"Hi," I said in return as I took it. "It's going to be weird meeting up on the clock tower without Axel."

My friend nodded. "Hope he comes back soon. I wanted to ask him about your WINNER stick before he left, but he was gone when I went to the Grey Area today."

"It's okay, I probably didn't win much," I told him, hoping to cheer him up. "We can just ask him when he gets back."

"Yeah, I guess."

We walked up the million stairs to the top of the tower, Roxas being patient and not teasing me for going so slow, unlike Axel. Maybe it wasn't all that bad having him gone. He kind of scared me a little, to be completely honest. Not that I didn't like him, because I did! It's just... I don't know.

Anyways, we reached the top and sat down on the ledge. As long as I didn't look down, the height didn't really bother that much.

"So, how'd your mission go today?" I asked Roxas, trying to remember what happened in day 23 of the game. _Something about a Poison Plant...?_

"Not bad. Me and Number XIIII- Oh, you haven't met Xion yet, have you?"

I shook my head in answer to Roxas's question. _Not unless meeting her in a video game counts._

"Well, we tracked down a Poison Plant underground. It wasn't too hard. How about your mission?"

I sighed. "Okay, I guess. Just heart collection."

We ate our ice cream in silence, neither of us in the best mood. At least, I guessed Roxas wasn't in a great mood. He seemed distant and quieter than usual.

Sitting there in silence, I had plenty of time to think. Mostly worries what would happen in days to come, wondering how I would avoid changing things, or should I change them, the usual. I was getting myself stressed out from all this thinking. _Focus on happier thoughts, Alexa,_ I scolded myself. Or was it that little whispering voice? I honestly couldn't tell the difference anymore.

 _Happier thoughts._ I stared out at the sunset, admiring the pretty colors in the sky. Twilight Town had always been my favorite world in the game. So many important things happened here, so many small moments that were important to the main plot. I wished it could just be like this forever, ice cream and the sunset and the gentle wind on top of the clock tower. I wish things didn't have to change. Roxas really didn't deserve any of the bad stuff that happened to him. He was so nice, he hadn't done anything wrong! Stupid Xenmas and his stupid Organization!

If I had a heart, I would have cried at the thought of all poor Roxas had to go through in the year ahead. So much pain, sadness... It wasn't fair. If I could, I'd switch places with him. Let him get his happy ending, I didn't deserve one.

But I couldn't do that. All I could do was stand back and watch.

Unless...

Maybe I had ended up here for a reason. Maybe my being here wasn't a mistake. Maybe I could- _No!_ I couldn't change anything! One small change to the timeline could be a disaster. Although, just my presence in this world was already a change to the timeline.

I didn't know what to do anymore. Maybe I'd never figure it out, until it was too late.

"Alexa? Are you okay?" Roxas's voice broke through my confusing mess of thoughts.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine. We should probably RTC," I replied, standing up.

One day at a time, I decided as I summoned a Dark Corridor. I'd take things one day at a time.

All 358 of them.

Well, besides the ones I'd missed.

I just hoped I wouldn't mess up somehow.

I just wanted everyone to have a happy ending. Was that so impossible?

I held back another sigh as I walked through the Corridor back to the castle.

 **Author's Note:**

 **You can probably tell I couldn't really think of a good way to end that chapter. I apologize.**

 **Also, in case you couldn't tell, the sudden rush of energy Alexa gets during the battle with the Heartless was a Limit Break. Just thought I'd mention that in case it wasn't clear enough.**

 **Question: I know in an earlier chapter I said this story would be about 20 chapters total, but would y'all mind if I made it longer? Please let me know in a review! I could easily make it 50 chapters, but y'all will probably be sick of reading it by then. I don't know.**

 **Anyways, the next chapter probably won't be finished for awhile. Maybe two or three weeks. But you never know, I could get a ton of inspiration and write the whole thing in one day. Sorry the updates are so random! Thanks for reading!**


	11. Chapter 11: Two Days Without Ice Cream

**Author's Note:**

 **I'm so sorry this chapter took me so long to write! I was hoping to have it posted much sooner, but I haven't had much time to write lately, and of course whenever I** ** _do_** **have time, I get writer's block. I hope y'all like this chapter, as short as it is. Hopefully the next chapter will be longer.**

 **I can't thank y'all enough for reading, following, favoriting, and reviewing this story! Last time I checked, it had over 1,600 views total, over 900 this month alone. I can't believe it. So many! It's awesome to know that people all over the world are reading about Alexa's adventures. :D**

 **Sorry the chapter title stinks. I couldn't think of anything better.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. I only own my OC.**

Chapter Eleven: Two Days Without Ice Cream

The morning of my seventh day in the Organization, I realized something:

I hadn't had a single dream the entire time I'd been at the Castle that Never Was.

That might not be alarming for some people, but it was really weird for me. I dream every single night, although most of the time once I wake up I immediately forget what happened in them. All I know is that I did dream, even though I'm not entirely sure how I even knew that much.

So why hadn't I dreamed at all in the past week? That was going to bug me. Maybe Nobodies couldn't dream? No... That didn't really make any sense... Although, I guess existing without a heart doesn't make a whole lot of sense either. Neither did most of the things in the Kingdom Hearts universe, to be honest.

I was still wondering about that as I walked down to the Grey Area. Same as the day before, it was just Saïx waiting for me in the large pale-gray room. His golden gaze met mine as I entered the room. "Late as usual, I see," he commented grimly.

"I'm sorry! I don't know what-"

The blue-haired man interrupted my apology. "You're on your own again today. Try not to get killed."

Gulp. What that supposed to be encouraging? More like terrifying. "What's the assignment?"

"Today you will be collecting hearts. I expect you to kill every Heartless you see, as in yesterday's mission."

So it was basically the same thing as the day before. Okay, I could handle that... I guess.

I left the Grey Area through a Dark Corridor, exiting out into the Station Plaza of Twilight Town. I figured that'd be a good place to start.

Sure enough, a few Shadows appeared not too far away, their beady glowing eyes glaring at me. I felt my Keyblade appear in my hand as if it had willed itself there, and I ran toward the Heartless. With just a few hits each they disappeared, leaving nothing behind. Purebloods.

I looked around for any signs of more Heartless, but none appeared. Time to move on.

I'm not going to bore you by describing every single detail of my mission. Heartless appeared, I fought them. I kept hoping I'd run into Roxas, but sadly no such luck. I was all alone, besides the Shadows and Dire Plants and Scarlet Tangos and... Well, you get the idea. It wasn't too bad, and I felt almost no guilt in killing them now. That scared me a little bit. Back when I still had a heart (it seemed like such a long time ago), I couldn't even bring myself to kill spiders or ants. Now I was killing giant creatures without barely a second thought. Was I... Was I turning into a killer? No! I told myself firmly. Never!

During my mission, I found a few treasure chests with potions inside. That was awesome! Now I had three of them tucked inside my cloak's pocket, along with the 'WINNER' stick (I had finally thrown out the other ones).

I had no idea how long I had been when all the Heartless were finally gone. I double-checked everywhere just to be safe before heading to the clock tower.

Roxas wasn't there. He must have already left. I was disappointed, although I think that counts as a feeling, doesn't it? So maybe I would have been disappointed, before I became a Nobody. Now I was just a-

Oh, who was I kidding. I could still feel. I couldn't possibly be a Nobody. Sure, I couldn't feel as strongly as before, I could ignore my feelings easily, I was lying and killing and I hated it. The thing I felt the most was fear, although ironically I was a lot braver as a Nobody, or whatever I was now. Hey, maybe I was a replica! That could make sense... Maybe... Not really... The weird thing, though, is that I was totally emotionless sometimes, yet at other moments I could definitely feel. I didn't get it.

I summoned a Dark Corridor and went back to the castle, not wanting to stay at the clock tower by myself. It just wasn't the same without my friends there. The wind was colder, the sunset too bright. Without the Sea-Salt Trio, it was just like any old clock tower. Sure the view was amazing, but it was the company I shared it with that made it so special.

Back in my room in the castle, I took out my journal and let my thoughts pour out onto the paper through my pen. I had tried keeping dairies in the past, back before I arrived in the Kingdom Hearts universe, but they never lasted very long. I had a hard time keeping up with writing in them, and soon I would be so far behind it was hopeless. Now, however, I had the urge to write almost every day. Something inside me wanted to remember every single moment of my time here in the Organization. It was probably pointless, though. I doubt this book would go back with me to my world once I returned home.

Wait a second... Why was I just assuming I wouldn't be staying in this universe forever? How did I know for certain I would get to go home? I almost expected to panic at these thoughts, but surprisingly I remained calm. Right. The whole Nobody thing.

I closed my journal and stared out at the starry sky beyond the window. I've always loved the night sky, with its dark, calming colors and beautiful shining dots of light, like glowing confetti scattered out onto the heavens. There was something so mysterious about it as well. Back home I used to look up at the night sky and wonder what was just beyond it. Aliens? Other planets? Or simply nothing but stars, stretching out forever?

I never thought I'd say this, but... I wanted to go home. I missed knowing exactly who I was and not being terrified of messing up the world's timeline. I missed my old friends, despite how many arguments they used to get into. Without me to be the peacemaker, how were they getting along? Was I even missed?

What if I never went back? If I stayed in the world of Kingdom Hearts forever, what would happen? I didn't want to leave this world if I could change something for the better, but I also didn't want to stay if I would just ruin things.

I sighed, returning my journal to its hiding spot. I needed to stop thinking and just take things one day at a time.

I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes, hoping for a dream to let me escape from the worries of this world, even if only for a few hours.

No dream came.

I woke up the next morning irritated and grumpy, which isn't a common occurrence for me. Unlike dreaming. I missed that. When would my dreams come again? I was now positive I wasn't currently dreaming all this up about me being in the Organization and becoming friends with Roxas. It couldn't be a dream. That'd be too cruel.

 _Day eight,_ reminded the voice in my head. Roxas's twenty-fifth day.

Once again, I had a solo mission. My target was a Guardian again, and I was nervous about trying to defeat one all by myself. But I had my Keyblade (I really should give it some fancy name, like 'Pain of Solitude' or 'Sign of Innocence,' two of my favorite Keyblade designs in the game), some potions, and a little bit of fighting skill and experience. A very little bit. Almost none. But hopefully enough to not die! Because dying would be bad.

That made me start to wonder... If I did accidentally get killed in this world, would I really be dead? Or would I just go back to my universe? I didn't really want to find out.

I exited the Dark Corridor into the Sandlot of Twilight Town. No sign of my target anywhere...

 _Oh no. I spoke too soon._ There it was, glowing yellow eyes as creepy as ever. Three Watchers appeared just in front of it, hovering as they eagerly waited to attack.

I summoned my Keyblade and ran toward one of the smaller Heartless, trying to hit it while avoiding attacks from the other enemies nearby. I was fearless. I could do this. It was like my weapon knew what to do and had shared that information with me subconsciously, along with a whole lot of bravery. One Watcher was killed, than another. The third was trickier. It seemed to know that if it hovered high enough and his behind the Guardian, I wouldn't be able to hurt it. It was tiring.

I decided to focus on the larger Heartless for now. I ran and slashed and dodged, already tired and gasping for air. How did Roxas make it seem so easy in the video game? I guess because the game didn't factor in things like energy and breathing. Roxas could just run and run and run without getting tired. I wish I could do the same. Already I was slowing down, just barely dodging the Guardian's attacks. I had to end this soon! Where was that helpful rush of energy I'd gotten before? Sure could use it now!

 _Attack. Dodge. Run a bit away and catch my breath. Dodge. Attack._ Why wasn't it defeated yet? This was taking too long. My arms ached from gripping my weapon so tightly, but I was too on edge to relax my hands. I kept slicing at the Guardian, kept dodging, my movements blending together into a confusing swirl. I was acting on instinct, using up the very last of my strength as I lunged toward the Heartless and hit it in the eye with my Keyblade. It disappeared, leaving behind nothing but hearts which were absorbed into my Keyblade. The Watcher was still alive, hovering about nervously as it realized its protection was gone. I could almost imagine there was fear in its glowing yellow gaze.

I didn't- I couldn't- I just couldn't bring myself to kill it. It seemed too cruel. I dismissed my weapon and stared at the Heartless, speaking to it even though I knew it couldn't understand me. At least, I'm pretty sure it couldn't. "I'm not going to hurt you. I did my job. You're safe, for now. Just don't go stealing any more hearts!" I turned and walked away toward the clock tower, holding back a groan at the thought of climbing all those stairs. I wish I could just teleport to the top of-

I suddenly stopped walking and slapped my palm on my forehead. I was so stupid! I held out my hand and a Dark Corridor appeared.

Okay, okay. I know it was lazy of me to take a shortcut around all those stairs, but trust me, if you had just fought three Watchers and a Gaurdian, you wouldn't hesitate to do the same.

When I reached the clock tower, I was surprised to see Xion sitting next to Roxas on the ledge. This must be her first time up on the tower. As much as I wanted to join them, I shouldn't interrupt. I could change something important. With a sigh, I turned around and walked back into the Dark Corridor. That was two days in a row with no Ice-Cream time.

 _At least Roxas and Xion are starting to become friends,_ I told myself as I returned to my room.

So why wasn't I happier about that? Here I was, getting to meet my OTP in person. I was probably the luckiest fangirl in the world! But why...

I shook my head, forcing those confusing thoughts to the back of my mind. I was too tired to write, too tired to do anything. I flopped onto my bed and almost immediately fell asleep.

Little did I know what would happen the next day...

 **Author's Note:**

 **I know, I know, I'm a terrible person for ending this chapter on a cliffhanger. Sorry. :(**

 **I'm also sorry if the chapter was kind of boring. It was mostly me trying to get through my writer's block and continue with the story.**

 **Please leave a review and tell me what you thought of this chapter! Reviews make me so happy. :D**

 **Sadly the next chapter will most likely have a pretty long wait, anywhere from two to three or maybe even four weeks. I'm sorry! You never know though, I could finish it sooner than that.**

 **Thank you so much for reading! :)**


	12. Chapter 12: A New Friend

**Author's Note:**

 **Yes, I did post this and then delete it. I apologize. I was in a really bad mood when I first wrote it, and it was way too negative. Good news: I fixed it! I wasn't happy with it before, but I am now. I also added an idea from Yoshiki-909, who has been super helpful! Thank you! I'd also like to thank Antex- The Legendary Zoroark for all their help as well. :) Hope you like this new, updated chapter!**

 **Oh, and thank you kinda-cool-dude for drawing the amazing new cover! You're the best! :D**

 **Disclaimer: I still do not own Kingdom Hearts. I own nothing except my OC.**

Chapter Twelve: A New Friend

On my ninth day as a member of the Organization, I actually arrived at the Grey Area on time. I was rather proud of myself as I walked into the large room and noticed that for once I wasn't the only one there besides Saïx. Roxas was there too, along with Xaldin, Demyx, and Xigbar. I had a suspicion something bad was about to happen, and I knew I was right as I heard Roxas talking with Xigbar as I entered.

"Terminated? But that means..." Roxas trailed off. I couldn't see his face, but he sounded worried.

I knew what was happening. Roxas thought Axel was dead. I started to walk toward him, to reassure him everything would be okay, when Saïx beat me to it. "Roxas, your mission. Go with Xigbar to Agrabah." His voice was as cool and uncaring as always, and it annoyed me. My friend was upset, and stupid Saïx didn't even care!

"Is... Is it true about Castle Oblivion?" Roxas asked, speaking slowly as if every word hurt him. I felt a rush of pity and walked over to stand beside him. He looked over toward me, his eyes wide with surprise at first but soon softening as he gave me a small sad smile. It hurt. I can't stand seeing anyone sad, most of all my friends.

"That's no concern of yours. Either of yours," the blue-haired man answered Roxas's question firmly. His golden gaze was locked fiercely onto my friend, surprisingly cold for being such a warm color.

"But... What about Axel?"

"Who knows," Saïx replied calmly. "Perhaps-"

"No! Don't say that!" I interrupted, immediately regretting it. _Why did I just do that?!_

Five pairs of eyes were locked onto me. I nervously stared down at the floor, yelling at myself mentally. _That was so stupid! Stay calm, stay calm, make up a reason why you said that.._

I looked up, meeting Roxas's gaze even though my statement would be directed toward Saïx. "Don't say that. Axel isn't dead. He can't be dead. He's my friend, and I think I'd know if he had been killed." I realized soon after I said it that it was pretty cheesy, but it sounded good at the time to my panicking brain.

Xigbar let out a short, deep laugh as sudden and quick as a gunshot. Actually, his laugh did kind of sound like one. Creepy.

"You wouldn't know. You don't have friends. Friendship requires a heart, which you and everyone else here lacks."

I glared at him, but he turned to Roxas and spoke before I could reply. "There's work to be done. Get yourself ready." The black-haired man walked off, sitting down on one of the couches nearby. I looked around the room and was surprised to see Xion standing near the doorway. When had she gotten here? And... Hey, was that the Moogle shop? It was! I'd have to check that out later, although I didn't have any Munny...

"Alexa." Saïx's cold voice broke into my thoughts. I reluctantly turned to face him, forcing myself to meet his icy gold gaze. "You assumed I was going to say Number Eight had possibly been destroyed. Do not leap to conclusions in the future."

 _Oops._ I hadn't even realized that. I nodded, my face burning with shame and regret. "Yes, sir."

Saïx continued, "Today you will be going to Twilight Town with Demyx. A group of Deserters were reportedly seen there earlier. Do not return until they have all been taken care of."

I nodded again. "Understood, sir."

From one of the couches, I heard Demyx groan. "Seriously? Deserters? I hate those guys! They move so fast, you know? Like, you blink and POOF! They're super far away!"

"Sorry," I apologized. "Hopefully it won't be too bad today!"

"Yeah," Demyx muttered as he stood up. "You ready to go, kiddo?"

I hate very few things in life. Almost none. But I absolutely despise being called 'kid' or 'kiddo.' I get it, I'm short, I look much younger than I am. It shouldn't bother me. Yet it does.

"Sure," I agreed, trying to ignore the annoyance I felt. (Another feeling... Weird...) Demyx summoned a Dark Corridor as I turned toward Roxas, who had just finished talking with Xion. "See you later!" I told him cheerfully.

He glumly mumbled something as he walked over toward Xigbar. Oops, right. He still thought Axel was dead. Well, I knew he wasn't, and soon Roxas would too! I hated seeing him looking so sad, but the fact that he would be cheered up soon made me feel better. Axel wouldn't be gone for too many days, right?

However, my optimism faded as I followed Demyx. The cold shadows of a Dark Corridor just take the joy out of everything. If I had to choose one thing in the world to represent depression, it'd be Dark Corridors.

I was relieved to arrive in the Sandlot of Twilight Town, however, that quickly faded when the Deserters suddenly appeared. There were about a dozen of them, running about everywhere so fast it made me dizzy trying to keep my gaze locked onto one.

"Ugh, I hate these guys," Demyx complained, lazily trying to hit a Deserter with his sitar. He missed, obviously. The Heartless was long gone by the time Demyx swung his weapon. "They're such a pain. Well, you ready?"

I nodded, feeling the rush of warmth I always did when my Keyblade appeared in my hand. "Let's do this!"

I remembered from the game that Deserters didn't deal a lot a damage, as their main defense was their large numbers and speed. I held my weapon straight in front of me and lunged toward a small cluster of the Heartless. Success! Two Deserters disappeared as my Keyblade struck them. I could do this!

Three more Heartless appeared to take the places of the ones I had killed. They were swarming angrily around Demyx and I. I was focused so much on trying to find an opening to attack that I didn't think to watch my back. "Hey, Alexa, watch-"

I didn't hear the rest of Demyx's warning as a heavy blow to my back caused me to fall forward onto the hard ground of the Sandlot. My vision blurred as I coughed and attempted to stand back up, only to be knocked down again. As my vision cleared I managed to get back on my feet, spinning around to attack the Deserter. To my surprise, there were a trio of them. Three quick attacks and they were gone, only to be replaced by two more that ran away before I could lunge at them. They were too fast! And there were so many of them!

I glanced over at Demyx, who was standing in one place and waiting for the Deserters to run by him. Good idea, but I didn't want to be an easy target. I ran after the Heartless, lunging, running, attacking again, more running... I kept going and going without stopping, afraid I would collapse from exhaustion if I paused for even a second. I needed to keep going, keep fighting...

Finally, at last, no more Deserters were in sight. Our mission was complete. I sank down to my knees and struggled to catch my breath, reaching into my pocket and pulling out a potion. My hands were shaking as I tried to open the bottle.

"Hey, you okay? You look pretty beat," Demyx commented from behind me. I didn't have the strength to answer him, focusing instead of opening the potion and gulping it down. Immediately my strength returned and I stood up, realizing my Keyblade had disappeared. Huh. It must have dismissed itself somehow.

"I'm fine," I finally replied to Demyx. "Just... Well, I'm not really that strong," I admitted. "I run out of energy easily."

"Dude, same!" was Demyx's response, to my surprise. "All of the other members have, like, endless energy and super strength. But I can only fight, like, small lame Heartless. I get all the easy jobs, though, so it's cool. C'mon, let's RTC."

I thought about Demyx's words as we headed back to the castle. I had forgotten that he was one of the weaker Organization members. If I remembered correctly, he wasn't very well liked. I could kinda see why, although I thought he was really nice.

Once at the castle, I summoned another Corridor and exited on top of the clock tower. To my surprise, it was empty. No Roxas, no Xion.

 _Something was wrong_...

I turned around and walked back through the corridor to the castle, searching for someone to get answers from. Xion! I ran over to her, noticing her worried expression. "Hi, you're Xion, right?" I asked her, slightly out of breath.

She looked down, saying nothing, but I thought I saw her nod slightly.

"Have you seen Roxas?"

"Number XIII collapsed just after his mission," a voice spoke from behind me. I spun around to see Xigbar standing there, not seeming worried in the slightest.

 _Oh, no! How could I have forgotten?!_

 _I was such an idot!_

Today was day 27. The day Roxas went into some sort of coma.

And I had completely forgotten about it.

I was a terrible human bein- I mean, Nobody. Or whatever I was now.

At least I knew that Roxas would be okay. As long as I didn't do anything else to interrupt the timeline, the events should continue just as they had in the game. Still... I couldn't help but worry about him. He was my friend, after all. And I would do almost anything for my friends. So I course I worried about them all the time. Back home, if a friend said they'd call or text me at a certain time and then didn't, I immediately would start wondering if something horrible had happened to them and I would never see them again. (I know, I know, I overreact.)

Speaking of my friends back home... Would I ever see them again? _Stop rambling in your thoughts! I scolded myself silently. Stay focused!_

I realized I had been staring blankly at Xigbar for probably a good forty seconds. "Wh-What happened?" I stuttered out, faking confusion.

"Just what I said. Are you deaf?" Xigbar glared at me before turning and walking away. Why was everyone in the Organization (besides my friends, that is) so grumpy all the time? I shrugged and turned toward Xion, but she was gone.

I was all alone. And by that I don't just mean how I was standing by myself in the empty hallway. Axel was away, Roxas was asleep, my real-world friends weren't here. I wanted to be friends with Xion, but she was so shy! And Demyx was nice, but he didn't seem to really want to be my friend.

I, Alexa (Nobodies didn't use last names, right? Sounds more mysterious, I guess), was temporarily friendless.

 **~Time-Skip~**

Don't worry, I wasn't friendless for long. Things started looking up when Saïx paired me with Xion for my mission the next day. I was excited. Here was a chance to become friends!

Our mission was simple: Heart collection in Agrabah. I was more talkative than usual to make up for Xion's shyness. "So, you're Xion right? Oops, I've already asked you that. Sorry!" I apologized as we walked through the Dark Corridor. The black-haired girl walking next to me only smiled shyly, so I kept talking in hopes she'd reply. "Well, my name's Alexa. It's nice to meet you! Have you ever been to Agrabah?" The only response I got was a shake of her head. This wasn't going to be easy. I mean, I'd befriended shy people before, but not quite as bad as this. Not that being shy is bad, because it isn't!

Once we arrived in Agrabah, I instantly wished the Organization uniform wasn't a heavy black cloak. Agrabah was a desert. As in heat, sand, and bright sun. I liked warm weather, I liked summer, but I'd never been big on deserts. Of course, I'd never actually been to one before...

I didn't want to complain out loud, so I just pretended the heat didn't bother me as I glanced around.

The city was big, bright, and seemingly abandoned. A huge wall surrounded it, so tall I could barely see the top. "Wow," I gasped aloud. "That's a really big wall."

No comment from Xion. Well, it was worth a try.

Market stalls were scattered against the walls, most of the wares covered in sand. To our right was the biggest door I had ever seen in my life, barred shut. In the opposite direction was a large hole in the wall, leading to the next part of the city.

Before I had the chance to look around further, a Loudmouth suddenly appeared, with a Scarlet Tango just behind it.

I summoned my Keyblade, noticing that Xion did the same. This was the first time I was seeing the Keydom Key in person, and I couldn't help but gasp. This was too cool! I couldn't stare at it for more than a second, however, as the metal reflected the sun's harsh glare. Plus there were two Heartless I needed to fight. "Ready?" I asked Xion, not thrilled about having to kill the Loudmouth. I kind of liked those Heartless.

Xion nodded, and in unison we lunged toward the Heartless. I slashed at the Tango while Xion attacked the Loudmouth. With only a few hits, each were defeated. I was deffinitly getting better at this!

I didn't have much time to be proud of myself, however, as a Dire Plant and another Loudmouth appeared just in front of us. Xion and I glanced at each other. "I'll take the Loudmouth again," she said, and I couldn't help but grin.

"She talks!" I exclaimed, causing her to blush. "Sure, I'll get the Dire Plant."

And so we continued.

We didn't have time to talk much, only exchanging a few words about who would attack which Heartless. The mission passed by quickly, and soon we were done.

"I guess that was the last Heartless," I commented, dismissing my weapon. Xion nodded, doing the same.

Awkward silence.

"Well, um... We should head back, I guess," I said, about to summon a Dark Corridor. Then suddenly I got an idea. "Hey, Xion!"

"Y...Yes?" she replied quietly.

"Can I ask you a favor? Feel completely free to say no if you want."

Xion nodded, so I continued: "Could you possibly teach me magic? I haven't learned yet, and I bet it'd be useful to know. Please?"

To my surprise, Xion agreed right away: "Sure. Why haven't you learned yet?"

I shrugged. "Just haven't been taught. So, when do you want to start?"

Xion thought for a moment before replying. "We could meet in Twilight Town after our missions tomorrow, if you'd like."

"Sounds good! Sandlot?"

Xion nodded, and with my friendly smile still on my face I summoned a Corridor back to the castle, my new friend just behind me.

 **~Time-Skip~**

Just when I had become pretty good at battling Heartless, I found out I was a terrible failure at something else: magic.

Well, okay, maybe I wasn't that awful. I could summon fire, but I had a difficult time getting it to go anywhere besides hovering at the tip of my Keyblade. I refused to give up, however. Thankfully Xion was a patient teacher. We met up at the Sandlot every day after our missions, usually going up to the clock tower after. My new friend wasn't quite as shy anymore, although she didn't seem completely happy. I knew why: she was worried about Roxas. I was, too, although I knew he would be okay.

... He _would_ be okay, right?

The days passed by quickly, and eventually I lost count of them. Where had that little voice in my head gone? I didn't really miss it, as having a voice whispering in your head was kind of creepy. You know what was weird, though? I was starting to forget the exact details of the timeline. I tried not to let it bother me too much, though. Surely I'd remember soon.

I was happy. Sure, I was a Nobody, not supposed to feel emotions, blah blah. But I swear, I felt happy. Xion was just like one of my best friends back home, and it felt like I had known her for much longer than I actually had.

I was also received she never brought up my past. I was nervous that at some point, if someone asked me about my life before I was a Nobody, I'd mess up and say something I wasn't supposed to. Like, "Well, I lived in America..." or something. I doubted there was an America in this universe.

One day, as Xion and I were walking up to the clock tower (I only cheated by using a Dark Corridor when I was alone), my friend stopped suddenly just at the top of the steps. I barely stopped myself from crashing into her.

"Xion, wha-" I trailed off as I noticed what had caused her to stop walking.

Sitting on the small ledge was a boy our age with very familiar spikey blond hair.

"Roxas?" Xion asked in disbelief. I couldn't hold back my grin at knowing my friend was okay. My relief faded, however, as I saw the sadness and confusion in his eyes when he looked over at us.

"Xion... And Alexa," he greeted us as we sat down next to him. I was to his left, Xion to his right. "What... What happened?"

I was silent and let Xion explain to Roxas how he had collapsed after his mission and slept for several days. I noticed his eyes widen in surprise before the sad look returned. I couldn't stand seeing a friend sad.

"It's probably nothing to worry about," I told him when Xion was finished. "Anyway, you're awake now! That's something to be happy about, right?"

"... I guess," was Roxas's reply.

"We've missed you, you know. Glad you're back." I smiled, hoping he'd do the same.

To my relief, he did. "Guess I missed you guys too."

We sat there in silence for several more minutes, just my friends and I and the clock tower and the beautiful sunset. For a little bit, I forgot about the horrible doom waiting for my friends. At that moment, life was just about perfect.

And I had a feeling (or whatever... A hunch, maybe?) that it would be this way for awhile.

 **Author's Note:**

 **I hope y'all liked this chapter! Please leave a review and tell me what you think! Thanks for reading! :)**


	13. Chapter XIII: Trio

**Author's Note:**

 **AARRGGHHHH! I am SO sorry this chapter took me FOREVER to write! I have two excuses:**

 **1\. I have been very busy with not a lot of time to write, and when I do have time I'm often too tired/have no inspiration.**

 **2\. This is a super long chapter! So long, in fact, that I decided to divide it into two smaller chapters. I honestly didn't plan on it being this long, it just kinda wrote itself I guess.**

 **Anyways, I really hope you like it! I worked hard to make it as perfect as I could.**

 **Also, for those of you who remember that spoiler I gave in the original Chapter Twelve before it was deleted (also those who I told the spoiler in a private message): I switched the order of a couple things, so that chapter I spoiled won't be published for a little while. I apologize for the change. A lot of stuff happens in the next two chapters though, so hopefully that makes up for it!**

 **Anyways, I'm trying to keep this author's note short since the chapter is kind of long. Hope y'all like it!**

 **Disclaimer: I still do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the direct quotes from the game.**

 **Chapter XIII: Trio**

You know how I said earlier that I thought life would be perfect for awhile? Well, I was right. Almost. Close enough.

As time passed, it got harder and harder for me to believe that I didn't really belong here. My old life seemed so far away, like scattered memories or a dream. (Totally not ripping off a Kingdom Hearts quote there...) This, right here, right now, was real. Maybe the past had never actually happened. Who knew? Deep down, though, I knew that it had. My former life hadn't been a lie. Maybe it was this one that was false...? No, I didn't want to think that! Too often I'd dreamed myself into perfect worlds with friends I never wanted to leave, only to wake up and realize that none of that had actually happened. But that wasn't going to happen this time, it wasn't! Could it be possible that both realities- here, and my old life- were true?

I'd been thinking about this on top of the clock tower, my ice cream slowly melting and dripping off the stick to fall down to the town below. I snapped back to reality when Xion pointed this out.

"Oops, sorry!" I apologized, holding up my popsicle to lick away the salty-sweet drops about to fall. "I guess I just spaced out for a bit."

Something told me that if Axel were there, he would have said something along the lines of "Ha, you're almost as bad as Roxas. He spaces out so much, half the time it's like talking to a zombie!" But our tall friend was still away at Castle Oblivion. It seemed like he had been gone for months, although I knew it was really only a week or two. I could tell Roxas was worried about him, although he tried to hide it. I was trying not to think about what happened at Castle Oblivion. I didn't like to think of Axel as an assassin, even though he was. He had _killed_ people. Or, was going to kill them. Wherever I was on the timeline currently. I shuddered at the thought of it.

"Alexa? Alexa!" Xion's voice jolted me out of my thoughts yet again.

"Sorry! I don't know what's with me today," I apologized. "I keep getting lost in my own little world, I guess."

"You're just as bad as Roxas!" she teased, to my surprise. That was what I had just imagined Axel saying! Coincidence? Hmm...

"Hey, come on!" My blond friend protested with a grin. "I don't space out that much anymore."

"'That much' meaning you still do," Xion pointed out.

"No! I- Well-" Roxas stuttered, causing Xion to burst out laughing. I couldn't help but smile, although I did feel bad for Roxas. He didn't seem upset though, in fact, he was grinning as he shook his head in defeat. "Okay, okay, so I space out sometimes. You win." His expression turned more serious as he glanced over at me. "How was your mission today?"

"Not bad," I replied, absentmindedly tapping my popsicle stick against the small ledge we were sitting on. "Me and Xigbar went to Agrabah. I was on heart collection, as usual. Oh!" I grinned as I remembered something. "Xion! Guess what I did?"

"Finally cast a fire spell that didn't disappear at the tip of your Keyblade?" she asked in a teasing tone, her usual reply.

I could feel my grin widen as I nodded. "You teaching me wasn't for nothing after all! I finally mastered fire! Well, okay, not exactly _mastered,_ but-"

I broke off at Xion's absolutely shocked expression. "Are you serious? You actually cast fire?!"

"Yes! I did!" I tapped the popsicle stick a bit faster out of excitement. "I hit a Fire Plant that was pretty far away. It was about to attack Xigbar and... Well..." I trailed off, putting the stick into my cloak pocket.

"Alexa..." Xion's eyes held a pitying look, while her mouth twitched as she tried to hold back a smile. "Fire Plants are immune to fire. It doesn't effect them. Fire is their element." I could see Roxas hiding a laugh on the other side of her.

"They _are_ called Fire Plants," Roxas added with a grin.

My cheeks felt hot as I stared out at the setting sun, avoiding looking at my friends. "Yeah. I know that now."

My friends laughed, not meanly or anything, just unable to suppress their amusement anymore. And I couldn't help but laugh with them.

 _Please, let this last forever,_ I begged the sunset sky. _Don't take my friends away. Show me how to save them._

"You're doing it again!" Xion exclaimed, poking my shoulder. "You sure Saïx hasn't been working you too hard? Maybe we should ask if all three of us could do a mission together."

"Hey, yeah! That's a great idea!" Roxas eagerly agreed. "We should ask him."

I hesitated, trying to think if going on a mission as a trio could possibly change the timeline. I didn't see how. Plus, all three of us on a mission together sounded awesome. Fighting alongside both Xion and Roxas? The entire time I'd been in the Organization, I had yet to go on a mission with my blond friend. Part of me didn't want him to see my terrible fighting skills, my weakness, how I froze up sometimes during battle. Although, he probably already knew most of that from stories about my missions. So I really had nothing to lose.

"Totally!" I finally declared. "Speaking of Saïx... We should probably return to the castle." As much as I wanted to stay here with my friends, I was really tired. Probably the reason I was spacing out so much.

"You're right," Roxas agreed sadly, standing up and stepping off the ledge. It always made me nervous when my friends did that. If they lost their balance and fell...

Xion stood up as Roxas summoned a Corridor back to the castle, while I swung my legs back around to the other side of the ledge before standing up. Sure, it was slower, but I wasn't about to take any risks!

"Who's going to ask Saïx about the triple mission?" Xion asked as we walked through the Corridor.

 _Not me not me please please not me,_ I thought desperately, looking hopefully at Roxas.

"... I can, I guess," he muttered after a few seconds.

I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. "Thanks!" I told him gratefully as we exited the darkness. "See you tomorrow!" With a final wave, I headed off toward my room to get some much-needed sleep.

 **~Time-Skip~**

To my surprise, Saïx actually agreed to let my friends and I go on a triple mission two days later. I was excited as we prepared to head out, stopping by the Moogle shop first. The Moogle was pretty friendly and kind of cute, plus its prices were cheap. The first time I talked to it, I learned that Munny was earned by killing Heartless. Somehow it kept track of how many I had defeated. It only sold stuff like potions, elixirs, panaceas, ethers, and rings. No skills or weapon upgrades, which made sense, I guess. Also no synthesis or Heart Points. So there was one difference from the game. I really wanted a ring, but they were way more than I could afford at the time. Even the simple Sign of Resolve ring was more than four times the amount of Munny I had. "These rings hold great power, Kupo. Power isn't cheap," the Moogle had commented when I gasped at the price the first time I visited the shop.

Now, I greeted it cheerfully as I walked over. "Hi, Moogle!" I wasn't sure if it actually had a name or not, since whenever I asked it it always replied "My name is of no importance." Mysterious.

"Hello, Kupo. Take a look at my wares, Kupo," it greeted me as always. What was a 'Kupo,' anyway?

"Thanks. Actually, I'm looking to buy a potion. It's still 200 Munny, right?"

"Yes, Kupo. Here you go." The Moogle handed me a potion, which I took after thanking them and put into my pocket. "Anything else?"

"No, thanks. Still saving up to buy a ring."

My shopping done, I rejoined my friends who were waiting for me. "I'm ready! Let's go!"

Roxas summoned a Dark Corridor and we left the castle. Our mission was simple heart collection in Agrabah. I'd been sent there a lot lately, and while I preferred Twilight Town, it wasn't too bad once you got used to the heat and sand. Oh, and the harsh glare of the sun. It had hurt my eyes at first, but now it didn't bother me quite as much.

"It'll be fun, tripling up like this," Xion commented as we exited the Corridor.

"Yeah, I think this is my first three-person mission," Roxas agreed. Why did this conversation sound so familiar? Had something similar been said in the game? I couldn't remember. I didn't have too much time to think about it, anyway, as three Loudmouths spawned just in front of us. My Keyblade appeared in my hand, and I noticed out of the corner of my eye that my friends had summoned their weapons as well.

"Remember, Loudmouths can heal themselves and their friends," Roxas warned us. I already knew that, both from the video game and by having fought them in person several times. I still nodded politely, not wanting to be rude.

"You ready?" Xion asked.

In unison, me and Roxas replied "You bet!"

The battle began.

I lunged toward one of the Heartless, attempting to hit it with my weapon. It hopped out of the way, so I tried again. Another miss. This time I swung my Keyblade downwards, hitting the Loudmouth from above. After repeating that a few times, the Heartless disappeared and its hearts were absorbed. My friend had just killed the other two Loudmouths, so we moved on in search of more Heartless.

Over all, the mission went pretty well. It was a lot easier with three of us, and we finished fairly quickly. I was slightly proud of how well I had done, and hoped my friends were impressed. But why was I trying to impress them? It's not like they would have thought less of me if I was terrible at fighting. At least, I hoped they wouldn't.

I was amazed at how easy fighting was coming to me. With my Keyblade in my hands, I felt like I could fight anything. Of course, I still messed up sometimes and missed with my attacks, and then of course there was my fear that would suddenly appear just when I needed confidence the most...

"I don't see any more Heartless," Roxas's voice broke through my thoughts and I came back to reality. "Guess we're done!"

"Can we go up to the clock tower?" I asked hopefully.

"Sure. After being in this hot desert for so long, I could really use some ice cream," Xion agreed.

"You guys go ahead to the tower, I'll buy the ice cream!" Roxas volunteered, disappearing into a Dark Corridor before I could ask if I could come with him. I still had no idea where the popsicles were sold, and it would be nice to know. Oh, well.

 **~Time-skip~**

About ten minutes later, the three of us (I guess we were the tempory Sea-Salt Trio, since Axel was away. I wondered how things would be once he got back) were sitting on top of the clock tower, happily eating our ice cream in contented silence. It seemed to taste even better after being in the harsh heat of Agrabah. How come I never saw any popsicle stands there? You'd think they'd have some, it being a desert and all.

"I wonder how Axel's doing," I finally broke the silence as I licked the last few melting drops of my popsicle stick.

"'Wonder how he's doing?'" Roxas repeated with a shocked expression. "Alexa, don't you remember? He was _killed._ Saïx said that more than one of the Organization members who went to Castle Oblivion are gone. Maybe even all of them." My blond friend glumly stared out at the sky.

Right. I may have forgotten about that. I'm such a terrible person.

"There's no way he's dead!" I exclaimed. "Axel's smart enough to not get killed. You haven't given up on him already, have you?"

"I don't know, Alexa... It doesn't seem very likely that he's still alive," Xion commented. "I don't know Axel as well as you two, so I may be wrong, but..."

I sighed, knowing there was nothing I could say to convince my friends otherwise. If only I could remember what day Axel came back... But what good would that do? I couldn't exactly tell them how I knew he was okay.

At least I knew he was alright though. I just wished my friends knew, too.

 **~Time-Skip~**

 **One Week Later**

"Alexa, today you and Roxas will be sent to Twilight Town, which is currently overrun by Shadow Globs."

I nodded in response to Saïx's order. "Yes, Sir."

It had been exactly one week since the triple mission, and nothing really worth mentioning had happened. I had carefully avoided bringing up Axel again, worried that I might say something I shouldn't. It was such a burden knowing exactly what was going to happen, but not being able to tell anyone about it. Of course, even if I could tell, I probably still would keep some things to myself. But then I'd feel guilty for saying only some things and not others...

Also, I hadn't seen Xion lately. Was this the point in the game where she disappeared for awhile? I was a bit worried. We had stopped having our magic lessons after Roxas woke up from his coma-thing, and I kept hoping to ask her if we could start them up again. I really needed to master Fire. Plus, I really hoped she was okay...

"You ready to go?" Roxas's question startled me so much I jumped in surprise.

"Um, yeah!" I agreed. "You?"

He nodded, summoning a Dark Corridor and walking through with me following just behind him.

We exited out onto the Side Street, where I didn't see any Shadow Globs at first.

"What's a Shadow Glob, anyway?" Roxas wondered. He seemed kind of down for some reason, but I didn't want to ask why in case he didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to upset him.

I shrugged. "Guess we'll know when we see one." Which was a lie, because I already knew what they looked like, thanks to the video game. I wasn't really even bothered by lying anymore, I regret to admit.

We had only taken a few steps before a trio of Heartless appeared: two Shadows and a Possessor. My Keyblade was summoned into my hand as I lunged toward the Shadows, easily killing both after only a few minutes. By the time they were gone, Roxas had killed the Possessor and we continued down the street.

Unfortunately, we didn't get to go far. Three Possessors spawned just in front of us as we turned the corner.

I'm not a fan of Heartless in general, but Possessors are one of the worst. If they even touch you, you slowly and painfully get drained of energy. Thankfully it only takes a few hits to defeat them.

I attacked one Heartless while Roxas fought the other two. I took a few steps toward it, only getting close enough to quickly hit it, then backing away as it hovered toward me. _Advance, retreat. Advance, retreat. Advance- poof!_ The Possessor was gone.

Roxas was attacking his second Possessor, and I quickly ran over to help. Together we managed to defeat it after only a couple of hits.

My friend pointed up to a glowing purple blob attached to the side of a nearby building. "I'm guessing that's our target?"

"Looks like it!" I agreed. "If we push that crate over toward the building, we can stand on it and attack the Glob." I pointed to said crate, which was sitting randomly on the ground near the weird blob.

Roxas nodded and proceeded to move the crate closer to our target. Once it stopped moving, I hopped on it, reaching up and hitting the Shadow Glob with my Keyblade until it disappeared. "One down, who-knows-how-many to go!" I declared cheerfully as I carefully stepped down off the crate.

And so the mission continued. Most of the Globs were fairly easy to reach, some were so impossible we didn't even try to get to them. To make sure we didn't miss any, we went back and double-checked everywhere.

"I guess we got all the ones we could," I commented as we reached the end of the Side Street.

"Yeah. Ready to RTC?"

Before I could respond, a familiar voice called from behind us. "Hey, Roxas, Alexa!" _Axel!_

I couldn't help but grin as I turned around to face my tall spikey-haired friend. Roxas turned around more slowly, almost like he was in shock. Oh, wait. _I was so stupid!_ The reason Roxas seemed so down today was because this must be the day where he's told everyone at Castle Oblivion was dead. I was a terrible person to have forgotten that.

"How's it hanging?" Axel asked casually, as if everything was normal and his friends hadn't been worked sick because he was supposedly _dead._

My blond friend continued to stare dumbly at Axel in shock as the redhead questioned, "What's the matter? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Of course he does!" I defended Roxas. "We all thought you'd been killed at Castle Oblivion!" Another lie, since I knew he would be fine.

"Well, obviously I'm still here," Axel pointed out.

"Axel... You had me worried!" Roxas finally spoke.

"Worried? That's a neat trick, considering you haven't got a heart to feel with."

Roxas grinned. "W-wait here with Alexa. I'll go buy us some ice cream!" Before I could say anything, he ran off toward the Sandlot. At least now I knew the general direction of where the ice cream was sold.

"So, um, how'd things go at Castle Oblivion?" I asked Axel, suddenly feeling awkward.

My tall friend frowned. "I can't say too much. It's classified."

"Oh, okay. Well, glad you're back."

Thankfully it wasn't too much longer before Roxas returned with three popsicles. We headed toward the clock tower, not talking much except to make comments about how nice it was to have Axel back. I went up the stairs as quickly as I could (much to the dismay of my poor muscles), not wanting to be teased for going slow. Axel was surprisingly quiet.

As we sat on the ledge, eating our ice cream, a slightly awkward silence settled over us. Both my friends seemed deep in thought, and I bet they were barely tasting their ice cream as they absentmindedly ate it.

Axel finally broke the silence. "I gotta check in with the boss, or he's gonna let me have it." He was ignoring his popsicle now, staring out at the sky as small drips of salty cream fell on the ledge.

"You haven't RTC'd yet?" Roxas asked in surprise, before taking another bite of his ice cream.

Axel glanced toward Roxas and I for a second before looking away again. "Hmm? Nah."

"Well, why'd you come here, then?" my blond friend questioned.

"Yeah, Saïx probably wants to know what happened at Castle Oblivion," I added. "He'll be mad if he finds out you didn't come straight back."

Axel shrugged. "Let him be mad, then. I just... needed some time to sort out my feelings, I guess."

Right. Because he had _killed people._ I was sitting only a few feet away from a murderer! Surprisingly, no panic rushed through me. No fear, no anything. Why was I not upset about this? Before I became a Nobody, I would have run far, far away from anyone who so much as thought about killing someone.

Because that's _not_ okay.

But with Axel... It was so easy to forget the things he had done. I believed he really was a good person, even if he did do some things I definitely disagreed with.

"Whatever, mister I-don't-have-a-heart," Roxas teased, causing him and Axel to laugh. I was too lost in thought to do more than halfheartedly smile.

"Hey, guys, your ice cream's melting," I commented, pointing to the sticky puddle beneath Axel's popsicle and the drips of cream on Roxas's glove. (Why did we have to wear gloves, anyway? I am _not_ a glove fan. Would I get in trouble if I decided not to wear them one day? Eh... Better not risk it.)

"Thanks," my blond friend told me gratefully as he quickly finished his ice cream. Axel, however, let his melt without seeming to care. _What a waste_ , I thought sadly.

"It's too bad Xion isn't here today," I commented to prevent another silence from forming.

"Oh, yeah!" Roxas exclaimed. "Xion comes up here with us now, Axel."

"Xion? Really?" my tall friend asked, not sounding too thrilled about it.

I nodded, even though he wasn't looking at me. "Yeah. She's friends with us now. I haven't seen her in a few days, though... Actually, not since our triple mission."

"You went on a triple mission?" Axel questioned in surprise.

I nodded again. "Triple as in, the three of us went on one together. It went a lot faster than a two-person or solo mission. I wish every mission was like that."

"Hmm."

After Axel's response, we sat there for a few more minutes in silence before he left to go report back to Saïx.

"I don't think Axel likes Xion," Roxas told me glumly. "He didn't seem very happy when I told him she's been coming up here with us."

"He just doesn't know her that well yet," I assured my friend. "Once he gets to know her, they'll get along great. Trust me."

Roxas sighed quietly. "I hope you're right."

I knew I was right, thanks to my knowledge from having played the video game, but I said nothing. My friend would just have to be happily surprised.

 **Author's Note:**

 **So, what'd you think? Please let me know in a review!**

 **Chapter 14 will be posted shortly. Thanks for reading! :)**


	14. Chapter 14: Change

**Author's Note:**

 **Two chapters posted in one day! :D I figured I owed y'all, since I didn't update for awhile. I really hope you like this chapter! It has a** ** _lot_** **of dialogue, which I don't think I'm very good at writing, but I try my best! (Some of it is taken from the game, too, but I try to change things here and there so I don't just retell the story of the game.)**

 **Thank y'all so much for patiently waiting while I took forever to write these chapters! Hopefully this was worth the wait.**

 **As always, a huge thank-you to everyone who reads, follows, favs, and/or reviews! Y'all keep me motivated to write more, and without you this story would probably have been only three chapters long.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the direct quotes from the game used in this fanfiction.**

 **Chapter 14: Change**

The next couple of days passed by uneventfully. I took longer than usual on my missions and wasn't able to join my friends on the clock tower, so I had more time to write in my diary. I would have much rather hung out with Roxas and Axel, but oh well. It was nice to just be able to ramble out my thoughts onto paper, and even reread some of my older entries. It was surprising to me how much I had changed since I first came here...

 _ **This Diary Belongs to Alexa.**_

 _ **Got it memorized?**_

 _ **Day Two**_

 _I can't believe it. I can't believe I'm even writing in you right now, Diary. I'm the newest Member of Organization XIII. Right now I'm sitting in my blueish-white room. I just completed my first mission. Well, it was more of a training thing, actually. Demyx came with me, of all people- I mean, Nobodies. He's actually pretty nice._

 _I'm ashamed to admit that I nearly failed my mission. Demyx says I did fine, but I wish things had gone better. All I had to do was find a simple treasure chest hidden in the tunnels underground. Easy, right?_

 _Sadly, no. I mean, maybe it would have been easy for some people, but I had a hard time. First, I struggled to climb up to the main level of the tunnel, then I got lost, and after I finally found the treasure chest I got lost again! Demyx said I didn't fail because I still completed the mission, but I just wish I had done better. I'm the smallest, youngest (though not by much), and most likely weakest member of the Organization. I want to prove I belong here. Even though I don't, really._

 _I don't have any friends yet, so I'm confiding in you. Only, I can't even tell you everything, in case Saïx or Xemnas reads it. What I wouldn't give for a friend right now!_

 _If I had to become a Nobody and join the Organization, why couldn't some of my friends from when I was a Somebody come with me? Why am I here, anyway?_

 _Nothing makes sense right now. Hopefully I'll become friends with Roxas soon. Xion, too, and maybe even Axel._

 _Thanks for listening, Diary._

 _Love, Alexa_

 _P.S. It's really weird not feeling emotions. Not exactly a bad weird, though. Just different._

So much had changed since when I first wrote that. How many days had I been in the Organization, anyway? Next time I saw Roxas, I'd have to find out.

Anyways, this was definitely the point in the timeline when Xion disappeared, as no one I asked had seen her in for awhile. I knew I shouldn't be worried, but I couldn't help it...

And then, three days after Axel returned, something happened.

It was still pretty early when I walked down to the Grey Area that day. Saïx was there, of course, and Axel was talking to him. No sign of Roxas, but Demyx was sitting on one of the couches to my right, talking to Luxord while strumming his sitar. The soft, quiet notes it made echoed throughout the large room. That melody sounded vaguely familiar...

Axel broke off his conversation as he noticed me. "Hey, Alexa. You're with me today. Roxas's been worried about Xion, so we're gonna go find her. Apparently she never RTC'd after her last mission."

 _Oh no. Ohonohnoohnoohno._ I wasn't supposed to go on this mission! It was Roxas! I couldn't-

"S-Shouldn't Roxas go with you, since he's so w-worried?" I managed to stutter out after about ten seconds of staring blankly at my tall friend (we were friends, right...?).

Axel awkwardly reached up and rubbed his long, spiky hair. "Yeah, well... If something did happen to her... I think it'd be best if you came along instead. Plus, you know Roxas. He gets attached too easily."

Oh, I get it. He thought I was heartless. Well, I was, but I mean... Oh you know what, never mind! I guess what I mean is, he thought I wouldn't care as much if Xion had been hurt or killed. That offended me a bit, which is saying a lot since I very rarely get offended.

"Oh, yeah? You think I don't care? Well, she's my friend too!" I was probably glaring at Axel as my hands tightened into fists. "No changing your mind, though, I'm coming with you whether you want me to or not."

Surprise flashed in Axel's mint-green eyes. "Whoa, kid, take it easy. Didn't mean to offend you. Do you want to go or not? I can take Roxas if you-"

"That's not her choice." Saïx's statement startled me so much I probably jumped a good four inches into the air. "I've already assigned you two together for the day. Get moving."

I suddenly felt awful for getting mad at Axel. As I opened my mouth to apologize, however, he summoned a Dark Corridor. "You coming?"

I nodded and followed him, mentally yelling at myself for:

1\. Going on this mission that was very important to the timeline and that Roxas should be on, not me.

2\. Being upset with Axel just because he assumed I'd handle it better if something had happened to Xion.

As I thought about it as we walked through the Corridor, I realized that Axel probably knew by now that Roxas could feel emotions. I, on the other hand, was just your average Nobody who couldn't feel anything, as least in Axel's mind. So it made more sense for me to go if-

Wait, why did I keep thinking that? Nothing was going to happen to Xion. I remembered this mission pretty well from the video game. It involved a lot of walking, talking to the Twilight Town Trio (as I called Hayner, Pence, and Olette), answering a fairly easy quiz about Twilight Town, and fighting a Veil Lizard. Overall it had been pretty easy, except for the embarrassing fact that I had had a difficult time finding the 'usual spot' and it had taken me almost a week to finally realize it was that place beyond the gate off the Side Street.

Needless to say, I was not looking forward to fighting that Veil Lizard. They were probably one of my least favorite types of Heartless, along with Lurk Lizards.

As we exited the Corridor out onto the Side Street of Twilight Town, Axel turned toward me. "Xion's mission was to destroy a giant Heartless, so if we want to find her, we should start by locating that."

I nodded. "And how exactly are we going to do that? I mean, it could be anywhere." It was seriously tempting to just suggest we go check out the forest first so we could avoid all that walking around, but I couldn't do that. I had to try to keep the timeline mostly the same, even though I had already changed things just by being here.

"Easy. We'll get information from the locals. If there's been a giant Heartless around, chances are that they know about it." Axel turned away and started walking toward the Sandlot, so I followed.

Just as we stepped off the last step that led down to the Sandlot, I heard a voice asking "You sure you heard that right?" Could that be Hayner?

Sure enough, two kids around my age were talking nearby. Olette, as I knew the girl to be, looked worried while the boy looked sceptical. "Yes, I'm sure. I told you!" Olette insisted, which didn't seem to convince her friend.

"And you heard it where, again?" Hayner asked. In person, he looked kind of scary, with his black skull-design T-shirt, short vest, and camouflage pants. His short dirty-blonde hair was mostly neat, only sticking up a bit in the back.

"The tunnel!" Olette answered, nervously twisting a lock of her long brown hair around her finger. "I was just there, and I heard this weird low moan."

"Did you see what was making it?" the boy asked, now seeming to take her a bit more seriously.

His friend shook her head. "Are you kidding?! I was scared! I got out of there as fast as I could."

"Hmm... A low moan," Axel muttered quietly, startling me as I was so involved in the conversation going on before me that I completely forgot he was there. "Could be our Heartless."

"Yeah, maybe," I agreed absentmindedly, trying to listen to what Hayner and Olette were saying now, but they were speaking quieter so I couldn't hear them.

"C'mon, let's go check it out."

As I followed Axel back to the Side Street, I faintly heard Hayner say "You need to get your ears checked, Olette."

I felt bad for Olette. Was Hayner always this harsh?

From the Side Street, we entered Tunnel Number Three, running into a few Pureblood Heartless along the way that we easily took care of.

"Why don't we try Tunnel Number Two?" I suggested once we were underground.

"Sure, why not," Axel agreed. So we headed in that direction. Once again, we ran into a few Shadows, but Axel destroyed them before I had a chance to help. I was fine with that, of course. I still wasn't a fan of killing things unless I absolutely had to.

As we entered the lowest section of the tunnel, a quick look around showed that there was nothing of interest down there.

"No Heartless, or Xion," Axel commented. I nodded, even though he wasn't looking in my direction.

"Huh? What are you guys doing down here?" A strange voice from behind us caused me to quickly turn around, Axel doing the same.

A short (although, who am I to judge? He was about the same height as me, actually) boy around the same age as Hayner and Olette was walking toward us from the direction of the stairs. I immediately recognized him as Pence, as he appeared almost exactly the same as he had in the video game. Only, of course, less CGI and pixely.

"You guys loose something?" he asked, stopping a few feet in front of us. A friendly smile was on his face as he spoke, and I couldn't help but smile back.

"You could say that, yeah," Axel replied, not unfriendly but not quite friendly either. Was there a word for that? "We heard rumors of a strange moaning sound."

"Hmm... Strange moaning..." Pence thought for a moment before grinning. "Oh! Are you talking about that vent up there?"

Axel and I looked toward the grate near the top of the wall where our new friend was pointing. "The wind coming through it creates lots of echoes. It almost sounds kind of like a moan," Pence explained cheerfully..

"Seriously? Ugh, for crying out loud..." Axel muttered bitterly as we turned back toward Pence.

The boy seemed to ignore him, or maybe he didn't hear. "So, you two said you lost something?"

"Well, sort of. A friend of ours went missing a little over a week ago," I explained.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Hope you find them soon!" Pence told me, his grin slightly smaller in sympathy.

"Thanks," I told him gratefully.

"So, why are you down here, anyway?" Axel questioned. He sounded a bit suspicious.

Our new friend laughed. "Sorry, can't tell you. It's a secret." He quickly added, "Oh! I don't think we've been introduced. I'm Pence. If you ever need anything, come find me. I'm always happy to help."

"Thanks!" I told him again, returning his grin. He was so nice!

"Sure, it's no problem. I'll catch you later." With that, he turned and walked back up the stairs, disappearing from view.

"Well, that was a dead end," Axel muttered bitterly. What was with him? Why was he being so grumpy?

"Not really," I argued. "We made a new friend, and that's never a waste of time. Plus he was really nice." _Nicer than you're being right now,_ I added silently, then immediately mentally scolded myself for being so rude.

Axel awkwardly ran his hand through his hair. He did that a lot, I had noticed.

"I guess it's time to hit the town again," my tall friend decided.

I held back a groan at the thought of all the running around we would have to do before we found the Veil Lizard. "Maybe we should try finding Hayner and Olette again?" I suggested.

"Those two kids back at the Sandlot? Worth a try, I guess," Axel agreed. So off we went.

After listening to Hayner and Olette's conversation, I pretended I had no idea where the 'usual spot' was, although I did suggest we check out the building beyond the gate off the Side Street.

When we got there, however, after pretending to look for the map for a few minutes, when I reached behind the oil drum to get the map- there was nothing there. I felt desperately around, but my fingers only grasped empty air (plus a few cobwebs- gross! Maybe I was grateful for those gloves after all...). Where was the map?!

"There's nothing here. Must not be the place," Axel declared. I had to find that map!

"Hang on a sec- I think there's something back here," I called.

My tall friend walked over. "Want me to move that?" he offered, pointing toward the large green oil drum I was desperately reaching behind. I nodded gratefully, moving out of the way.

To my relief, underneath where the drum had been was a worn, stained piece of paper. No wonder I hadn't been able to find it! Why hadn't it been in the same place as in the video game? "I think it's some kind of map," I reported to Axel as I carefully unfolded it. "There are some comments scribbled on it..."

The tall redhead didn't seem to care about what we had found, though. Instead, he was eyeing me with a slight look of suspicion in his mint-green eyes. "How did you know that was there?"

 _Oh._ I hadn't thought about that. The map had been completely hidden under the oil drum, so if I hadn't known it was there I never would have been able to find it. _Stay calm,_ I told myself silently. _Don't stutter or sound uncertain. Believe what you're saying, and he'll believe it too._ Wait a second- when had I gotten so skilled at lying?

"Well, I've overheard Hayner and Olette talking about how they hide important stuff behind an oil drum, so that's why I was looking behind it. I guess they moved it underneath, though." I fought the instinct to let my words flow out in one long rush.

"Nice try. Those two back at the Sandlot said they didn't know what Pence was up to. This map is obviously his-" Axel pointed to our newest friend's name at the bottom of the paper- "so he wouldn't have hidden it where he knew his friends would find it." The tall redhead glared at me with his icy eyes, causing me to wince and take a few steps backward out of fear. "How did you know about this map then, Alexa? Or that we should even investigate this place? It looks like just your average old building. Nothing special about it, besides the fact that it's protected by a fence. So why come here? And your interest in Tunnel Number Two... It's almost like you _knew_ Pence would be there. Oh, and don't think I've forgotten about that time you almost called me 'Lea.' Your eyes gave your fib away. You've gotten better, I see." To my horror, Axel's weapons appeared in his hands, although he kept them at his sides. I glanced desperately toward the doorway, but between it and me stood Axel. "You're awfully good at lying now, _Alexa."_

 _This was not good. Not good at all._ In fact, this was the complete and total opposite of good.

This was _awful._

" I-I can explain!" I protested, holding my hands up in dismay. "I swear, I can explain everything."

"Then explain."

I was full-out panicking, struggling to keep the appearance of being calm. I had thought I was doing such a good job with pretending I didn't know anything, that I was just another average Organization member (although none of them were really 'average,' were they?).

What was I supposed to tell Axel?! The truth? Another lie? I didn't know! I felt like I was going to throw up from stress. How could I have ever thought I could do this?!

 _Just be honest._ The voice! I felt a rush of confidence as the little whispering voice I hadn't heard in so long offered me advice. _Lying won't help anymore. You always knew that it couldn't last forever, anyway. But be smart. He doesn't need to know everything._

"Axel," I told him, "can you keep a secret?"

SII I told him. I told him almost everything. I still left some details out, but I explained how I had foreknowledge about some events that would happen. "I'm not exactly sure how I know all this," I lied (and I swore that was the last lie I would ever tell in my life, both as a Nobody and a human), and explained how I had tried so hard to keep it a secret so I wouldn't change events. Axel listened silently, his weapons still at his sides. The bright sunlight coming in from the train-track roof above us caused the metal to glint with a dangerous air.

"...and I'm really sorry I didn't tell you this before, but knowing the future is a huge burden and I couldn't risk saying anything that could change something," I finished, out of breath. I studied Axel's expression, but it was hard to read. Please, please believe me, I begged both him and the universe silently.

"If you are lying, that's one heck of a fib," Axel finally said. His weapons disappeared and I let out a long breath in relief.

"I'm not. I promise. Ask me some small detail about the future, and you'll see if I'm telling the truth." _Unless the timeline changes,_ I added silently.

"Okay, where's Xion?"

 _Good! An easy question!_ "She's out by the mansion past the forest, still trying to find the giant Heartless. It can become invisible, so it's hard to find."

Axel sighed and shook his head. "This is a lot you're asking me to believe, kid."

"I know. And it's a lot to deal with every day, believe me. Please, Axel. You have to believe me."

Axel ran his hand through his hair. "How long have you been able to know future events?"

How did I answer that? "Ever since I became a Nobody, I guess," I replied. I forced myself to hold Axel's gaze, even though my instinct was to look away. So much for never telling a lie again.

Axel sighed again. "Let's go see if Xion is where you say she is."

I nodded. "So, you believe me?"

"I don't know. Makes some sense, I guess."

"Could you... Could you maybe not tell anyone else? Please? Not even Saïx or Xemnas?" I asked hopefully.

"Depends on if you're telling the truth or not. If you were right about Xion, I guess I can manage to keep your ability a secret. You're asking a lot, though. You owe me."

I nodded. "Thanks, Axel."

"Don't thank me yet," he warned. "If it turns out you were lying, I'll have to report you to Xemnas and the others."

As we walked out onto the Side Street, I knew that the timeline would never be the same. Too much had been changed, and now that Axel knew my secret (or most of it, at least. No way was I going to tell him I knew everything I knew because I was from a different world where he and everyone else here were all video game characters) further changes were inevitable.

Surprisingly enough, I felt a tiny bit relieved. Now I didn't have to worry so much about keeping everything the same as in the game.

 _Maybe,_ I thought as we headed toward Tram Common, _I could even do something about the ending._ All I really wanted was for my friends to be happy, anyway.

 **~Time-Skip~**

Thankfully, after we found the Veil Lizard, Xion ran by just as she was supposed to. I couldn't help but call her name in relief, which distracted her just as the Heartless was aiming an attack. "Oh no you don't!" I was just behind the Veil Lizard, so I distracted it by hitting its tail with my Keyblade. It worked! The Heartless spun around, attempting to knock me over with its tail, but I blocked the attack with my weapon. Xion ran over to help, while Axel was hitting the front of the Veil Lizard. With all three of us attacking it (Xion using only magic, I noticed), it was soon defeated.I gasped in shock at the number of hearts it left behind. More of the pink blobs than I had ever seen before floated over and were absorbed into my Keyblade.

"Thanks, guys," Xion told us gratefully, slightly out of breath.

Axel shrugged off her thanks. "No problem. You look beat. Why don't we head over to the clock tower?"

Xion and I both agreed to that, and we walked in silence.

Once we were on top of the tower, I kept nervously glancing at Axel. He wouldn't tell my secret, would he? I didn't even want Xion or Roxas to know I had knowledge about the future, because what if they asked something like "What's my life like a year from now?" My face would probably give it away that something awful was going to happen.

If Axel noticed me looking over at him every five seconds, he didn't react. "So, Xion, what happened out there?" he asked casually.

"Yeah, you seem kind of down," I added.

"We're here for you if you want to talk about it," my tall friend declared. "Right, Alexa?" To my relief, there was no suspicion in his tone. He must believe me!

"Of course," I confirmed. "That's what friends are for, after all." I smiled supportively at Xion, but she simply stared down at her gloved hands.

"I can't..." Xion began, so quiet I had to strain to make out the words. "I can't use the Keyblade anymore."

I noticed Axel startle a little, and I faked surprise. Xion continued, "And without it, I can't do my job."

"What happened?" Axel asked, now recovered from his shock.

Xion shook her head slightly, turning to face him. "I don't know. But without the Keyblade... the hearts I release just find their way into other Heartless." She sighed, and I gave her a sympathetic look. I felt so bad for her, she looked so miserable. I knew that losing the ability to wield the Keyblade was a big deal, but at least she would get it back soon. That is, as long as the timeline remained mostly the same. "I'm supposed to be collecting hearts. Those are my orders." She stared down at her hands again. "But now... Without the Keyblade..."

I interrupted her before she could call herself useless. "Don't worry, we'll help you! There's got to be something we can do, right, Axel?" I looked hopefully at our tall friend, waiting for him to come up with a plan.

"Wish there was," he replied with a small shrug. "But... It's just like Xion said. She needs a Keyblade to do her job."

"I'm going to get turned into a Dusk once they find out they don't need me," Xion sighed, putting up the hood of her cloak.

"Don't say that!" I exclaimed. "Axel will think of something."

"Hey, I'm trying my best to come with a solution, but there's just no way to-" Suddenly his eyes flashed and a grin spread across his face. "Wait. Alexa, what if you and Roxas covered for Xion?"

"What do you mean?" My dark-haired friend asked, looking up at Axel.

"Simple. Xion, just make sure your missions are always with another Keyblade wielder. They'll have to work twice as hard, but if we do this right, no one else will ever know."

"That could work!" Xion exclaimed, and I was relieved to hear a note of happiness in her voice.

"That's perfect, Axel!" I agreed. "I'm sure Roxas will agree to it."

"You'll have to collect twice as many hearts, though," Axel warned. "Think you can do that?"

I nodded. "I'll try!" It would be hard, but I'd do anything for a friend.

"Thanks, you guys," Xion said gratefully. "But, Alexa... Are you sure you don't mind collecting more hearts? I know it's a lot to ask..."

"No, it's fine!" I assured her with a smile. "Plus, I owe you for teaching me magic. Or, at least, trying to, since I'm such a hopeless student."

I was happily surprised when Xion smiled back. "Thank you," she repeated.

"No problem!"

For the rest of our time on the clock tower, we sat in contented silence, staring out at the sky and hoping we could pull this off for Xion. I just knew we would do it, though. If Roxas had managed to cover for Xion alone, together we could do even better.

As we headed back to the castle, I had high hopes for the future.

 **Author's Note:**

 **So, how'd you like that chapter? I really hope I'm doing okay with writing Axel. I have the most trouble trying to write him. Hope all that dialogue wasn't too boring.**

 **What is your favorite part of this fanfic? Least favorite?What do you want to see more of? Less of? Please let me know in a review or private message!**

 **I have no idea when the next chapter will be done. Should be a shorter wait than the last one, though! Thanks for reading! :)**


	15. Number XV: Alexa

**Author's Note:**

 **Another long chapter! I think I finally figured out the right length for chapters, so no more super-short ones! This one took longer to write than I thought it would, but I think it turned out okay!**

 **Thank you coolmegan123 for your helpful feedback! :D**

 **Also, did you know this story has its own fanfiction? I didn't, until someone pointed it out to me. I'm still amazed that someone actually liked my fanfiction enough to write their own fanfiction about it! Thank you so much, Xx KIND-SOULS xX! :)**

 **I really hope y'all like this chapter! Let me know what you think!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the direct quotes from the game used in this fanfiction.**

 **Number XV: Alexa**

Covering for Xion turned out to be a lot harder than we expected.

I mean, convincing Roxas to help us had been easy (he agreed right away), so that was good at least. Making sure Xion was always on a mission with one of us, however, was not so simple.

The first day, Axel convinced Saïx to let Xion go along with Roxas on his mission in Agrabah.

The second day, Saïx paired Roxas and Xion together without us having to beg. So that was nice.

Day three of our plan, Roxas convinced Saïx to send Xion along with me on our mission (destroying Shadow Globs in Agrabah).

Day four, I convinced Saïx to let Xion accompany Roxas on his mission at Beast's Castle. (I really hoped I wouldn't miss the "Roxas, that's a stick' mission, although I guessed I'd have to unless we somehow talked Saïx into another triple mission, which didn't seem very likely. Darn.)

The fifth day of our plan, Axel made sure Xion went along with me on my mission (heart collection at Beast's Castle).

Day six, I was late getting to the Grey Area. By the time I got there, the room was completely empty. Not even Saïx was there, which was really odd. _Where was he?_ I wondered, glancing around the room. _And what was I supposed to do now?_

Footsteps sounded from behind me and I spun around, startled, my Keyblade appearing in my hand by instinct. I immediately dismissed it, however, as I realized it was Roxas who had scared me. "Sorry, Alexa!" he apologized, holding up his hands. "Where is everyone? The place seems deserted."

I shrugged. "I was just about to ask you."

I had barely finished speaking before Saïx suddenly entered the room. "Lord Xemnas has summoned us," he announced before turning and walking away. I shot a confused glance at Roxas before following him, my friend doing the same.

As we made our way through the confusing maze of white hallways, I realized this must be day 94: The day the Kingdom Heart appears in the sky.

Sure enough, Saïx led us to a large, high platform where Xemnas and all of the other Organization members were gathered.

"The time has arrived," our leader announced. "Look to the skies!"

As he held up his arms, I gasped in surprise. Sure enough, the giant glowing Kingdom Heart now floated in the heavens above.

Due to my surprise at actually seeing a Kingdom Heart in person, I missed what Xemnas said next. When I finally realized he was still speaking, I heard "...have gathered? Hearts full of rage, of hate, of sadness... There, in the sky..."

I tuned out, lost in thought as I stared up at the huge heart. It was weird to think that those hearts I collected every day... They had once belonged to people. Maybe one of my friends' hearts, or even my own, was up there now, shining brightly in the sky. Strange to think about. I didn't think I would mind being part of a Kingdom Heart too much, though. It was pretty, and probably better than being trapped inside a Heartless.

"My friends!" Xemnas's words brought me back to reality. He had lowered his arms and was now facing us, a serious look on his face (as usual). "Remember the purpose of our organization- everything we hope to achieve. The strength of the heart is vast, but soon we will have power over it! Never again will it hold power over us."

As his speech ended, I glanced back up at the Kingdom Heart. _Yeah, I know your plan, Xemnas,_ I thought. _It's not gonna happen._

The seventh day of our plan, Xion and I did heart collection in Agrabah. My dark-haired friend was amazed at how well we were fooling Saïx and the others so far, and I couldn't help but agree a little. It was probably very suspicious how Xion was only going on missions with other Keyblade wielders now.

I really hoped my friend got her Keyblade back soon. To be completely honest (and selfish, I know), covering for her was a lot of work. Sure, Xion was amazing at magic, but I still had to kill most of the Heartless. I may have been stronger now than I was before I became a Nobody, but trying to defeat two people's (or Nobodies', I guess) worth of Heartless was definitely tiring. It was worth it, though, to help my friend.

That day's mission was one of my hardest so far, as I had to defeat a Barrier Master as well as a Large Armor. Thankfully I had Xion with me. Between my Keyblade and her magic, we managed to destroy the smaller Heartless.

The Armor, however, was not so easy.

For one, it was _tall._ Taller than me, Xion, probably even Axel too. It was also really scary looking, covered almost entirely by metal that reflected the harsh sunlight of the desert. Looking at it for more than a couple seconds at a time made my eyes feel like they were on fire. It took a lot of magic (from Xion, as my Fire skills were still less than perfect) and jumping before the Heartless was finally defeated.

"Mission complete!" I announced proudly as the Large Armor's hearts were absorbed into my Keyblade. "Wanna head up to the clock tower?"

"Alexa, you should know by now that you don't even have to ask after we've been in Agrabah," Xion replied. "After being in the hot desert, I would give almost anything for some ice cream."

"Same," I agreed as I summoned a Dark Corridor. "Hey, by the way, where is the ice cream sol-"

Xion had already walked into the portal before I could finish my question. I shook my head with a sigh before following her.

We exited the Corridor out onto the clock tower, where Axel and Roxas already were. "Hey!" my blonde friend greeted us, his huge blue eyes lit up with joy. In his left hand were two more popsicles, in addition to the one he was eating in his right. "I knew you'd be coming here today!"

"Thank you," I told him gratefully as I took the ice cream he offered to me. Xion took the other one, and we sat down in our usual spots on the ledge.

One thing I'd noticed about 358/2 days, back when I'd played it on my 3DS (gosh, that seemed like so long ago now!), was the order in which the Sea-Salt Trio always sat. Axel was furthest to the left, with his flame-colored hair and tall height. Roxas was next, shorter with blonde hair. Then there was Xion, just slightly shorter than Roxas with smooth black hair. (unlike her friends, with their spikey hair). They always sat in order of height.

And now there was me, the shortest of the group, sitting next to Xion. How would this scene look on my 3DS screen? I couldn't help but wonder as I silently ate my ice cream, lost in thought. My hair certainly didn't stand out compared to Axel's, but what about my eyes? My friend's eyes were all shades of blue, while mine were now a shade of gold.

Wait a second... Why was I wondering about this? It didn't matter, since I wasn't in the actual game. No one would ever see us.

 _I was so lucky,_ I realized suddenly. How often had I dreamed about joining the Sea-Salt Trio on top of the clock tower, watching the sunset that never ended? Now here I was. My dream had come true. How rare was this? Was I the only person this had ever happened to? Or were there more like me, out there somewhere?

A sharp poke to my shoulder brought me suddenly back to reality. "Spacing out again?" Roxas teased. He was grinning, but his eyes had a slight glint of concern.

"Huh? Oh, guess I was. Sorry," I apologized as I slid my empty ice cream stick into my pocket. "What'd I miss?"

"We were just talking about our missions today," Xion explained. "Axel went to Beast's Castle, and Roxas went to Twilight Town."

"Oh, cool," I responded, staring out at the setting sun.

The short silence following my statement was broken when Xion sighed. "I don't know how much longer we can keep fooling the other members. They're going to suspect something soon, I just know it."

"Relax!" Roxas told her with a reassuring smile. "You'll be fine. Right, Axel?"

Our tall friend frowned and glanced away. "Don't be too sure," he warned. "The Organization isn't stupid."

"Guess we'll just have to cross our fingers," Xion said cheerfully, although it seemed forced.

"Well, okay, maybe Saïx and Xigbar are hard to fool, but come on- Demyx?" my blonde friend argued.

"Roxas! That's mean!" I scolded him.

"But look at him!" Roxas protested. "All he does is plays his sitar 24/7."

"I don't think you give him enough credit. He works just as hard as-" Axel broke off with a frown as he considered his words. "Okay, no, he doesn't. But I'm pretty sure he does have a job."

"Demyx is pretty nice!" I added. "He went with me on most of my early missions, and he didn't scold me or make me feel bad when I messed up. Um, not that I messed up or anything. Just, you know, when I struggled to defeat an easy Heartless."

Thankfully my friends ignored my comment. "You know, I've seen Demyx out in the field, rocking out on his sitar," Xion pointed out. "What does that accomplish?"

I sighed and tuned my friends out as they continued to speak badly about Demyx. Sure, he was a bit of a slacker, but that didn't mean they could insult him behind his back!

"Don't you need a heart to be unique?" Xion's voice broke through my thoughts.

"Oh, I think we have other things that set us apart," Axel replied. "Like... our pasts."

My friends stared at Axel with shocked expressions. "What past? You remember stuff from before you were a Nobody?"

Axel nodded. "That's one of the things that makes the Organization members special. Unlike lesser Nobodies, we remember who we were."

I tuned out again, hoping my friends wouldn't ask me about my past. What would I tell them?

Also, what Axel had said about lesser Nobodies made me wonder: Why hadn't I become a lower-class Nobody, like a Dusk or Samurai? I knew that only people with strong hearts became human-resembling Nobodies. How was I strong enough to become one?

"Do you remember your past, Alexa?" _Oh, no._ Xion had finally asked the question I'd been dreading. I mean, Roxas had asked before and I gave him some vague answer, but now Axel was here. He'd be able to tell I was avoiding it, and he'd wonder why. What was I supposed to do?!

"Um, most of it," I finally answered. "I can't remember some things, though. Like, um... the name of where I'm from." That was a lie, obviously, but now I wouldn't have to worry about anyone asking me where I was from.

"You both are so lucky," Roxas sighed, glancing between me and Axel. "I wish I could remember."

"Sorry," I told him sympathetically. "Maybe you'll start to remember, though."

"You're not missing much," Axel added. "Who needs baggage, right?"

Roxas shook his head, staring down at his hands. "But I can't remember _anything_ \- not even my first week as a Nobody."

"Don't worry, my first few days are a blur, too," I told him.

"Whatever, Roxas. You have trouble remembering things from five seconds ago," Axel pointed out.

"Oh, thanks!" Roxas said sarcastically, grinning. It was amazing how quickly he got over things.

Xion, who had been silently staring at the sunset during our conversation, shook her head. "I'm like you, Roxas. I don't remember much about my first few weeks as a Nobody."

"I wonder what I was like before..." Roxas stared out at the setting sun.

We sat there in silence for while before heading back to the castle. Roxas's words kept running through my mind: _"You both are so lucky. I wish I could remember." "I wonder what I was like before..."_

 _If only you knew, Roxas, about your past and future,_ I thought sadly as I walked back to my room. _I'd do anything to change it for you. But I don't see what I can possibly do._

That night, as tired as I was, I couldn't sleep. Too many things were bothering me, too many questions running through my head on a loop. One in particular, however, kept popping to the front of my brain: _Why was I here?_

To be more specific, why did Xemnas recruit me into Organization XIII? Didn't they only need thirteen members? Xion was only there because either her or Roxas would disappear eventually. What use was a fifteenth member? What use was _I_ to the Organization?

I needed answers. And I knew how to get them. Hopefully.

I had to talk to Axel.

 **~Time-Skip~**

On the eighth day of our plan, I once again arrived late to the Grey Area. Besides Saïx, the only Organization member still in the room was Axel, leaning casually against the huge window. "Hey," he greeted me as I walked in. "Roxas and Xion already left on their mission. We're going to Agrabah to take out a giant Heartless." I noticed him glance nervously at Saïx, but said nothing.

I nodded, disappointed because I knew today was the "Roxas, that's a stick" mission, my favorite mission in the entire game. I was sad to miss it. It was probably better that I didn't go along, though, in case I changed somethi-

Wait a second. Why was I still concerned about changing things? The timeline had already been altered by my presence. As long as the main events still happened like they were supposed to, I had nothing to worry about. Well, mostly.

"You ready to go?" Axel asked me, his voice jolting me out of my thoughts.

"Uh, in a second. I want to stop by the Moogle shop real quick first. Is that okay?"

My tall friend nodded, and I walked over to the Moogle. "Hi, Moogle!"

"Hello, Kupo. Take a look at my wares, Kupo." Just like in the video game, it said that every time I came up to it. "You know, you finally have enough money to buy that ring, Kupo."

I gasped. "Really?! I'll take it, then! Sign of Resolve, right?"

"Here you go, Kupo." The ring was handed to me, and I carefully took it while gratefully thanking the Moogle. I took a moment to study it, the small, simple silver ring. I was almost nervous to put it on, as just by holding it I could feel a slight hum of power coming from it.

"You coming, Alexa?" Axel called, waiting in front of a Dark Corridor.

I nodded, taking a deep breath and slipping the ring onto my finger. What felt like a small electric shock ran through me and I winced. Thankfully it faded almost immediately, and I couldn't help but stare at the small silver band on my finger. Would this help me to fight better? I remembered that, in the video game back home, the Sign of Resolve ring slightly raised all your stats. What did it do in the real world?

 _The real world._ Not too long ago, I would have longingly wished I could call the Kingdom Hearts universe that. Guess wishes really do come true!

I walked over to Axel and we stepped into the Corridor, beginning our mission for the day.

"So, what's our target today?" I asked my tall friend as we walked through the shadowy passage. It still made me nervous, but not as much as it had at first.

"Not sure," he replied with a shrug. "All I know is that we're supposed to take out a giant Heartless that appeared in the desert. It's supposed to be pretty dangerous."

 _Dangerous._ That made me even more nervous, and I became convinced something evil was lurking in the shadows around us, waiting to attack. I was relieved when we finally exited out into Agrabah.

"Ugh, this place is always so hot," Axel muttered under his breath.

"Well, it _is_ in the desert," I pointed out. Then I remembered something. "Hey, um, Axel? After our mission today... Can I talk to you about something? It's pretty important."

"Sure." Axel seemed to be studying me, trying to figure out what it was I wanted to speak to him about. I turned away, walking toward the doorway that led to the desert.

"Our target was sighted toward this way, right?" Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Axel nod in response to my question.

As we exited the city, I gasped aloud. I never knew so much sand could exist in one place! There were ruins of buildings, weird platforms, old statues- all buried by sand.

"That's a lot of sand," I whispered in awe.

Before Axel could reply, the ground started shaking violently. I struggled to keep my balance, gripping onto a nearby statue. What was happening? An earthquake? Or...?

As the shaking slowed to a halt, I noticed something moving in the sand up ahead. It appeared to be metal, shining harshly under the bright sun before disappearing again under the sand. A jolt of panic hit me as I realized what it is.

"Antlion!" I exclaimed in horror. My third least-favorite Heartless! Panic was running through me so strongly now that all I wanted to do was run away. I turned around, ready to flee, but something grabbed my arm. Screaming, I struggled to escape, turning around to see what had gripped me.

To my surprise and relief, it was Axel. "Oh, no. You're not running away. Our job is to take this thing out, and I'm not doing it alone!" The look in his eyes scared me even more than the Antlion, to be completely honest.

Struggling to calm down, I drew in a shakey breath and nodded. "S-Sorry. It's just... Antlions... I'm terrified of them!"

"You've fought one of these before?" my tall friend asked, seeming surprised.

 _How did I explain it?_ "Um, no, but... I've seen them..."

"Right, your ability," Axel muttered. I had completely forgotten he knew I had foreknowledge. I nodded again. "If you've seen this Heartless before, do you know how we should fight it?"

I struggled to remember how I had fought it in the video game. Something about hitting it as it crawled through the sand? And then... during its tornado attack... "It has an attack where it spins around in the air. When it does that, we can't get close to it. It'll shoot out small crates, and we have to hit those back toward it before they explode. I... I think that's it." I was calmer now, although that was short-lived as the Antlion shot up through the sand and glared at us before diving down again. I let out a small cry of fear.

"Get it together!" Axel shouted. "At least we have a strategy. Come on, the faster we take care of this Heartless, the sooner you can talk to me about whatever it is you mentioned earlier."

He was right. I let out a shakey sigh and summoned my Keyblade, trying to spot the Antlion in the sand. The telltale gleam of metal shone under the hot sun not too far away, and I pointed it out toward Axel. "There it is."

His weapons appeared in his hands, forcing me to look away as the metal gleamed so brightly it hurt my eyes.

Trying to stop my hands from shaking, I gripped my weapon tightly as I slowly started walking toward the Antlion.

"It's moving too fast, we'll have to wait for it to come to us," Axel told me. I wasn't exactly thrilled at that idea, but I agreed.

Sure enough, the Heartless was quickly making its way through the sand toward us. I half-wondered if my Keyblade would break, I was gripping the handle so hard.

As soon as the Antlion got close enough, Axel lunged toward it and began hitting it with his weapons, careful to avoid the rotating metal teeth on its back. I copied him, although I was doing more blocking than attacking.

After less than a minute, the Antlion suddenly disappeared down into the sand. I knew it wasn't defeated, though. It was just preparing to attack.

Sure enough, the ground shook again and the Heartless burst out from the sand a few feet away from us, causing an explosion of sand to rain down. Axel and I were both covered in sand.

I watched in horror as the Antlion rose up from the sand, hovering above the ground. A force-field of swirling wind surrounded it, coming dangerously close to us. I had to shut my eyes so the sand wouldn't get in them, holding my breath as I carefully walked backwards. When I no longer felt the sand pelting against me, I risked opening my eyes. To both my relief and horror, the Antlion was moving away from me- toward Axel.

I took a moment to catch my breath before running after the Heartless. It was the last thing I wanted to do at that moment, but I couldn't just abandon my friend!

The Antlion suddenly stopped, weird crate-like objects appearing within the swirling winds surrounding it. I blocked the objects as several flew toward me, quickly hitting them back toward the Heartless. I could see Axel doing the same on the Antlion's other side.

We continued like that for awhile, attack the Antlion from both sides. I was terrified but forced myself to keep moving, keep attacking, keep dodging. I wished my friend was next to me instead of on the other side of the Heartless.

It felt like the battle with the Antlion lasted forever, but eventually the Heartless suddenly fell over, causing a cloud of sand to rise up. I coughed and waited for the dust to settle. When it finally did, I was amazed at what I saw.

Floating up from where the Antlion had been was a large, glowing heart that appeared to be made of some kind of crystal. I gasped at how beautiful it was, the prettiest shade of pink I had ever seen. Instead of being absorbed by my Keyblade like I expected, it simply floated up into the sky, getting smaller and smaller until I couldn't even see it anymore. "Wow," I whispered. That had to be hundreds of hearts!

"Mission complete," Axel announced, shaking the sand out of his hair.

"Y-Yeah," I responded, dismissing my weapon. "To the clock tower?" I brushed the sand off my cloak before summoning a Dark Corridor.

As we walked through the Corridor, Axel surprised me by asking "So, what was it you wanted to talk about?" I must have been staring at him blankly becuase he added "You know, at the beginning of our mission you said you needed to talk to me?"

Right! I had completely forgotten about that. I swear, sometimes I have the memory span of a goldfish. (Not that I have anything against goldfish! They're adorable and I love them and I really should stop comparing myself to them in a negative way.)

I nervously glanced around at the shadows surrounding us. "Can we talk at the clock tower? I... I don't trust this place."

To my relief, Axel agreed. Once we were sitting on the tower's ledge (Roxas and Xion weren't there yet, as I suspected, since their mission had taken longer than Axel's in the game- how come I remembered small details like that, but not important things that actually mattered?), I nervously stared down at my gloved hands. All of my courage had abandoned me, and I couldn't bring myself to ask what I so desperately needed to know.

"Well? Are we going to talk, or what?" my tall friend asked impatiently. "Roxas and Xion could show up at anytime. If you want to ask me something, now's your chance."

He was right. I had to ask him. Now!

Taking a deep breath, I forced the words out of my mouth: "Axel, why am I in the Organization? What does Xemnas need me for?"

Surprise shone in his eyes for a second, before he looked away with a shrug. "How would I know?"

"Saïx must have told you _something._ I mean, you knew I was a Keyblade wielder."

My friend sighed, running his hand through his long hair, causing a few stubborn grains of sand fell out. "Alexa... That's all I know."

His five simple words crushed all the hope that had been nervously bubbling inside me. "Are you sure? There isn't any other small thing you know about me? Like, why does the Organization need three Keyblade wielders? What use am I? I'm not good at fighting- in fact, I hate violence, and I don't have any special skills or abilities..." I trailed off as I realized I was just rambling, saying things I would probably regret later.

"You _do_ have an ability- you know things about the future. That could come in handy. In fact, it did today, when we fought the Antlion," Axel pointed out.

I held back a frustrated sigh. That wasn't a true ability! There was nothing special about that. I had learned those things by playing a video game. It's not like the universe chose to give me some secret foreknowledge or anything.

Still, I couldn't be rude. "Thanks, Axel. You're right."

"Alexa! Axel!"

Roxas's voice startled me so much I let out a little squeak of surprise. Turning toward him, I noticed he was grinning. Xion, just behind him, seemed happy too. Oh! She must have gotten her Keyblade back! I couldn't help but return my friend's smile.

"Hey!" my tall friend responded to Roxas's greeting. "You two seem happy."

"How was your mission?" my blonde friend asked Axel and I, still smiling.

"Not too bad! We defeated this giant Heartless in Agrabah. Yours?" I replied, my disappointment from not getting any answers from Axel fading in Roxas's cheerful mood.

Roxas glanced over at Xion, who nodded before proudly holding out her hand. In a flash of light, her Keyblade materialized.

"Tada!" Roxas announced dramatically, and I couldn't help but grin.

"You got your Keyblade back! Xion, that's great!" I exclaimed. Of course, I already knew that she would, but that didn't make it any less awesome.

"I'd like to dedicate this Keyblade summoning to my good friends, Roxas, Axel, and Alexa," my dark-haired friend declared.

"Aww, thanks!" I told her gratefully.

Axel, however, was not as flattered. "Me?" he snorted in disbelief. "I didn't do anything."

"That's not true!" I protested. "You're the one who came up with the idea for Roxas and I to cover for Xion!"

"Plus you spoke up for us this morning, when Saïx wanted to split us up," Xion added.

"Yeah! If you hadn't done that, she might not have remembered how to use her Keyblade," Roxas agreed.

"See? You totally helped!" I told Axel.

My tall friend awkwardly ran his hand through his hair and let out a small laugh. "Well, how about an ice cream, then? Buy me one, and we'll call it even."

"Axel!" I scolded, but Xion smiled.

"You got it. Wait here, I'll be right back!"

I sighed and shook my head as Xion ran off. "That was so impolite, Axel."

Roxas was grinning as he sat down next to me. "Well, Xion didn't seem to mind."

"Who's side are you on?" I questioned playfully.

He ignored my question. "I hope Xion brings ice cream for all of us, not just Axel."

Sure enough, our dark-haired friend soon returned with four sea-salt popsicles. "Thanks!" I told her gratefully as she handed me one (Axel got his first, of course).

After Xion sat down next to Roxas and handed him his ice cream, we sat in contented silence. That is, until Roxas broke it by saying "I hope we always have each other."

"Yeah," Xion agreed.

 _Of course we will!_ I bit back the words that longed to escape from my mouth. I couldn't say that, not when I knew what was going to happen!

"What's gotten into you?" Axel asked my blond friend.

Roxas glanced over at Axel and I, then at Xion, then back toward us. "I just... I want these days to last forever. You know, hanging out, the ice cream, the sunsets..."

I felt a rush of pity for Roxas. _Oh, what I wouldn't give to let your story have a happy ending!_

"Nothing lasts forever, man," Axel pointed out. "Least of all for a bunch of Nobodies." _That was all too true,_ I thought sadly. How long would this last for me? When would I go back to my world? _My world._ It seemed weird to think of it that way now. Here, with the Sea-Salt Trio, was my home now. "But you know, we'll always still have each other, even if things change and we can't meet up for ice cream anymore."

I had to stare out at the sky and focus very hard on not crying at Axel's words. Although, Nobodies weren't supposed to be able to cry, right...? So why...? "Axel's right," I said quietly. "At least we'll always have these memories." _Until we all forget about Xion,_ I added silently.

"Wow, you guys. That sounded ridiculous," my blonde friend laughed.

"Hey, I thought it was pretty deep," Axel argued, which made my friends laugh.

Sitting up there on top of the clock tower with them, my ice cream melting and dripping onto my gloves, laughing like idiots over the simplest things, the sunset glowing in the distance, I couldn't help but smile.

Ridiculous as it may be, I had to agree with Axel.

 **Author's Note:**

 **Okay, that chapter turned out more sad than I had intended it to. Sorry. D: Don't worry, next chapter should be happier! Maybe... -evil writer laugh-**

 **Anyways, I was really sad not to be able to write about the "Roxas, that's a stick" mission. I've been looking forward to writing it for awhile, but then I realized that there's no way Alexa would be able to go along with Roxas and Xion. So, I tearfully sent her out on her mission with Axel instead.**

 **I know this chapter wasn't the best, but I hope it was still okay. Please let me know what you think in a review! I really appreciate it when readers take the time to let me know what they think of my writing. It means a lot to me.**

 **The next chapter will probably have a fairly long wait as I won't have much time to write for awhile. :( Sorry about the long author's note, and thank you for reading!**


	16. Chapter 16: A Day Off

**Author's Note:**

 **Honestly, I thought this chapter would take me like a month to write. To my surprise, I ended up writing the entire thing in two days! XD Hope y'all like it!**

 **A special thank-you to all my guest reviewers! Actually, to all my reviewers in general. Every single review means so much to me, and I really appreciate you taking the time to let me know what you think about my writing. Y'all are the best!**

 **Also thank you to everyone who favs, follows, and reads! This story has gotten so many views, I still can't believe it. I can't keep up with the number anymore. XD**

 **Anyways, here's chapter 16 of Kingdom of Broken Hearts!**

 **ALMOST FORGOT THE DISCLAIMER!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the direct quotes from the game.**

 **Chapter Sixteen: A Day Off**

Now I knew why, in the video game, large time-skips were shown by the days flying by on a black screen: That's exactly how it felt to me as time passed. My daily routine didn't vary much, usually consisting of going on a mission then joining my friends on top of the clock tower before heading back to the castle. I wasn't too horrible at fighting now, but I wasn't exactly good, either. That ring I had bought from the Moogle didn't seem to have affected anything, much to my disappointment. I refused to believe it had been a waste of Munny, however, instead waiting patiently for the ring to reveal its secret. I mean, it was so expensive, it had to do something... right?

I sighed, biting the last small chunk of ice cream off the stick. I didn't care anymore about what day it was, since I still had plenty of time until the events that took place at the end of the game. For now, all that mattered was:

1\. Not getting killed

2\. Hanging out with my friends as much as possible

3\. Not revealing what I knew to anyone, except occasional small details to Axel

and

4\. Trying to find out why/how I was here.

The last part was definitely the hardest, as I was too shy to just walk up to some of the other Organization members and question them. I hadn't bothered to ask Axel again, since he didn't seem to know anything, and I really doubted Roxas or Xion would...

Saïx probably knew, but I was way too scared to ask him. Those golden eyes seemed to stare right through me, as if he could read my thoughts. I mean, not like I had anything to hide, but still. Creepy.

"Hello? Alexa?" I was jolted back into reality as Roxas waved his gloved hand in front of my face. _Oops._ I had totally been spacing out again! I needed to stop doing that.

"Sorry!" I apologized, giving my friend an embarrassed smile. "I was just-"

"Lost in thought?" Roxas guessed, grinning back, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "You do that a lot. Sure you're okay? What were you thinking about?"

I hesitated, unsure if I should tell him. Axel and Xion hadn't shown up, so we were the only ones on the clock tower. "Um, just... wondering about some things," I finally responded. "Like, why I'm here." _I probably shouldn't have said that last part,_ I scolded myself mentally. Why had I even confessed that?!

"Yeah, I wonder about that too. Maybe we'll remember when we finally have hearts of our own," my blonde friend suggested.

"Maybe," I agreed halfheartedly. I still couldn't bring myself to believe I had really lost my heart. I was still pretty much the same person, maybe just a bit more brave and more willing to lie.

And Roxas? He'd never even get his own heart. The realization suddenly hit me and I almost dropped my popsicle stick. It was so unfair! If anyone deserved a heart, it was my friend.

"I don't think Axel and Xion are gonna show today." Roxas's voice cut through my depressing thoughts.

I shook my head, upset with myself for being so dramatic all the time. _Stop worrying about the future already! Just savor the present!_ "Yeah, I guess not," I agreed with my friend. "They must have a really hard mission."

"Hope they're okay."

"Oh, they'll be fine!" I assured Roxas. "I mean, it's Axel. He's like, invincible."

To my relief, Roxas grinned. "You're right. They probably just finished their mission awhile ago and decided not to wait for us."

"Rude," I commented, pretending to be offended. "Here we are, waiting for them, and they might have already left! Don't they care that we just want to see our friends after fighting all day?" I sighed dramatically, causing Roxas to laugh.

We talked about random things for awhile longer, like which Heartless were our least favorite to battle (mine was Antlion, Roxas's was Possessors) and which world we liked best (both of us chose Twilight Town), before eventually heading back to the castle.

Once in my room, I sat on my bed and stared out the window. The Kingdom Heart shone brightly in the dark, starry sky. Honestly, back home, that's how I used to feel sometimes- like I had to make an effort to shine brightly in a world full of darkness. I know it's silly, but it's just how I felt.

I held out my hand, whispering _"Keyblade!"_ in my thoughts. My weapon appeared in my hand, the Kingdom Heart's faint light shining on the metal. I really needed to give my Keyblade a cool name, instead of just referring to it as "Keyblade" all the time. What would I call it, though?

I studied it intently, searching for some clue as to what I should name it. Something with "heart," probably, since the handles were half-hearts, plus the keychain dangling from the bottom of the handle was a silver heart. Maybe throw "Kingdom" in there too, since it reminded me of the Kingdom Key. So... No, I couldn't name it "Heart Kingdom," and certainly not "Kingdom Heart!"

I shook my head, smiling at my failed attempts to think of a good name. Oh, well, it wasn't like I was in any rush. My weapon disappeared as I dismissed it, sending away all my negative thoughts with it. I had decided to make the most out of my time in the organization, and not waste a single moment. Who knew when I would return back to the other world-

My train of thought stopped abruptly as I realized that I had just referred to back home as "the other world." No, _this_ was the other world... right? I hadn't grown up here, my family wasn't here, I only knew a few people here. This wasn't my home!

...So why did I keep thinking it was?

 **~Time-Skip~**

 _ **"Operations Closed for Vacation"**_

I blinked in surprise at the paper sign taped to the glass wall in the Grey Area. Was I at that point in the timeline already? It didn't seem like I had been in this universe that long, yet at the same time it felt like I had been here forever.

Hearing footsteps behind me, I turned around to see Roxas walking into the room. "Hey, guess what? We get the day off today!" I told him cheerfully.

"The whole day off?" Roxas asked, his eyes wide with surprise.

I nodded. The idea of an entire day with no missions made me happy. What would I do instead of heart collection?

"Let's go find Axel," Roxas suggested. "Maybe we can go to the clock tower early today!"

"Sure!" I agreed, and we headed off in search of our friend.

We didn't have to go far. I spotted Axel's bright red hair at the end of the hallway just after we left the Grey Area. Didn't all of the hallways here have fancy names? I'd never learn them all, I still barely knew my way around the castle!

"Axel!" I called, running toward our friend.

"Oh, hey Alexa. And Roxas," he added after noticing our blonde friend following me. "Can you believe we finally get a day off?"

"Yeah, it's great!" I exclaimed. "I don't know what I'm going to do all day, though "

"I've never had a vacation before," Roxas commented.

"That's sad," I told him sympathetically. "Well, then you definitely deserve this one!"

"So... What's our job during vacation?"

I stared blankly at Roxas after he asked his question. He didn't realize that a vacation meant no work? Had he been this clueless in the game? I couldn't remember.

"What's your- Roxas, you don't get it." Axel sighed and shook his head in disbelief.

"Its not my fault! I've never had a vacation. I don't know what to do." My blonde friend looked so hurt I immediately regretted my thoughts from a moment ago. Poor Roxas!

"I told you earlier we get the day off today, remember Vacation means we don't have to work, and can pretty much do anything we want," I explained. "We get to do whatever we like."

"But... What if I don't know what I like?" Roxas questioned, staring down at his shoes.

"Then we'll figure it out. Maybe we could go up the clock tower for ice cream?" I suggested, but Axel crossed his arms and shook his head.

"Count me out. I'm doing nothing but sleeping all day," he declared.

"Come on, that's boring! Hang out with us instead. Please?" I begged him, trying to look as pathetic as possible.

Axel shook his head again. "Sorry, Pipsqueak." _There was that annoying nickname again!_ I scowled at my tall friend as he walked away.

"C'mon, let's go find Xion," I told Roxas. "Maybe _she_ will actually want to spend time with us, unlike _him!"_ I nodded toward the direction in which Axel had disappeared.

Roxas didn't smile like I expected him to. In fact, he looked a little disappointed, as if my comment had hurt him. "Give him a break, Alexa. He works hard, he's just tired."

I felt my face grow hot as guilt washed over me. "You're right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." Why had I been so rude? Before I became a Nobody, I never would have made a mean comment like that about a friend. Sure, I had meant it as a joke, but it still wasn't very nice. Ashamed, I avoided Roxas's gaze as we continued down the hallway in search of Xion.

It only took a couple minutes of walking before we found her. "Xion!" Roxas called, startling our dark-haired friend.

"Roxas, Alexa! Good morning!" she greeted us with a friendly smile. "I was just heading out to practice fighting with the Keyblade. Want to join me?"

I hesitated. Sure, I wanted to hang out with my friend, but... spend my day off fighting? Then again, I could really use the practice...

"Sure," I agreed finally. "Roxas?" I still felt bad for upsetting him before, and hoped he would cone with us. Wait a second though, didn't he turn down Xion's offer in the video game? That's right! He ended up going to Twilight Town and hanging out with Hayner, Pence, and Olette.

As I suspected, our friend shook his head. "Nah, I'll pass." He seemed kind of down today, I noticed. Maybe it would be best for him to hang out with someone else for awhile.

"Okay, see you later!" I told him cheerfully, although it was kind of forced since I was worried about him. "If you want to join us later, just come find us."

"Thanks."

So Xion and I left through a Dark Corridor. "Where are we headed?" I asked as we walked through the shadowy passageway.

"I was thinking the forest of Twilight Town," my friend replied. "There's plenty of room, and hardly any Heartless ever appear there, except for a few Shadows. Oh, and the Veil Lizard that one time, but that's uncommon."

"Good idea," I agreed.

Once we exited the Corridor into the forest, we quickly searched for Shadows and took care of them all.

"Ready to begin?" Xion asked me once we were done, summoning her Keyblade.

"Yep!" My weapon appeared in my hand and I took a defensive position as Xion ran toward me. I was nervous about fighting my friend (so many flashbacks from Xion's final battle in the video game), but I knew she wouldn't hurt me. Well, at least, not too badly.

I blocked Xion's attack and attempted to push her away, but she was too strong, so I jumped back and blocked her next attack. The next couple of minutes consisted of me blocking and dodging, unable to find an opening to attack. I didn't mind, as I preferred defense to offense anyway.

But after just a couple minutes I noticed Xion was attacking slower and slower, almost seeming hesitant. Here was my chance!

I switched to offensive, but Xion blocked every attack. She was good. I mean, I wasn't really trying that hard because I didn't want to hurt my friend, but she was still obviously skilled at fighting.

We hadn't been fighting for very long when Xion suddenly exclaimed "S-Stop!"

Confused, I lowered my weapon. Had I hurt her? I didn't even hit her, so that couldn't be it. Maybe she was just tired? No, my friend looked nervous- almost scared.

"Xion? What's wrong?" I asked, worried. I dismissed my weapon and took a step closer.

To my shock and horror, my friend fearfully stepped back. "I... I just..." She shook her head, the fear in her expression now replaced with confusion. "I don't know what happened. It's probably nothing, I just felt..." Xion trailed off, avoiding my gaze. The next word she spoke was so quiet I barely heard it: "...scared."

I had a sinking feeling as I remembered my fight with Axel the day I found out about my Keyblade. Anger had shone in his eyes, and now fear had taken over Xion's. Was there a connection? Did I look really scary during battle or something? "I-I'm sorry," I apologized, guilt causing my face to feel hot for the second time that day.

Xion looked up, surprised. "You didn't do anything, Alexa."

"I didn't? But then... why were you scared?" I asked, confused.

My friend frowned. "I... I don't know."

I wanted to believe it wasn't my fault. I really did. But I kept picturing Axel's anger-filled eyes and wondering if there was some connection. Could I have somehow caused this?

Xion's voice broke through my thoughts. "Anyways, want to try again?"

"Okay," I agreed hesitantly, summoning my Keyblade.

This time I lunged first, surprising Xion, but she blocked quickly, pushing me away and aiming an attack. I dodged, holding up my Keyblade to block the next hit.

To my horror, the fearful look was returning to Xion's eyes. I lowered my weapon, panic starting to flow through me as I realized I _had_ to be causing it. "Xion, stop!" I cried, as my friend lowered her Keyblade as well. "It happened again! I _have_ to be causing this!"

Xion frowned, the look in her eyes fading. "Causing it? How? I'm just really nervous today. It's not your fault, Alexa."

I shook my head. "It has to be! The same thing happened when I fought Axel awhile ago, when I first discovered I could use the Keyblade." I was certain now that this was my fault. But how? I gazed down at my Keyblade, fighting against my panic.

"It did?" Xion sounded surprised. "Maybe we should talk to Axel, then."

"Y-Yeah," I agreed nervously, dismissing my weapon. "Let's go see if he's at the clock tower."

"When I talked to him earlier, he told me he planned on doing nothing but sleeping all day," Xion pointed out.

"You never know, he could have changed his mind." I vaguely remembered that, in the game, the trio had met up on top of the clock tower, so Axel had to be there. Right?

"Okay, we'll check," Xion agreed. We dismissed our weapons and summoned a Dark Corridor.

I had never run faster in my life. I wasn't afraid of the shadowy darkness for once, no, my speed was due to the fact that I urgently needed to speak with Axel. He had to be hiding something! He must be! I needed answers. I'd always needed answers, but my fear would stop me from asking, or friends would distract me... I don't know, it was almost as if the universe was trying to stop me from finding out anything!

I exited the Corridor only a few seconds after entering it, stepping out onto the top of the clock tower out-of-breath and relieved as I spotted Axel's flame-colored hair. "Axel!"

My tall friend turned around, the surprise in his expression disappearing almost immediately. "Alexa! Is something wrong? Where's Xion? Roxas told me you two were training together. What happened?" Axel's eyes shone with concern. I noticed Roxas was sitting next to him, his eyes wide with shock at my sudden appearance.

I shook my head, still struggling to catch my breath. "Xi-Xion's fine," I managed to gasp out. "I think. She's just behind me-"

Sure enough, our dark-haired friend appeared from the corridor behind me. "Alexa!" she exclaimed, glancing worriedly between me and Axel. "Why-" She broke off as I met her gaze, and uderstanding filled her expression. "This is really bothering you, isn't it?"

"What's bothering her? What's going on?" Roxas finally spoke, seeming worried and confused.

I took a deep breath. "Axel, do you remember the first time you trained me? When I discovered I can wield a Keyblade?" My friend nodded and I sat down on the ledge next to him before continuing, "Well, you might not remember this, but... You got really angry. Like, I don't know... There was this scary glint in your eyes, and you looked like you hated me." I desperately hoped he hadn't forgotten about that.

To my relief, he nodded slightly. "That's right," he muttered thoughtfully. "I remember..."

"Huh? Axel, why were you so angry at Alexa?" Roxas questioned, totally confused.

Our tall friend ran his hand through his hair, frowning. "I don't know. I just, got this overwhelming feeling, I guess... Not hatred, exactly, more like... overconfidence."

"Overconfidence?" I repeated.

Axel shrugged. "Maybe there was some anger mixed in, I dunno. Anyways, what's your point in bringing that up?"

"Oh, right. Well, while Xion and I were fighting-"

"Sparring," Xion corrected. "It's not like we were going to actually hurt each other."

"Sparring, sorry, right. Anyways, Xion seemed really afraid of me."

My dark-haired friend nodded. "I... I don't know why, but I just felt really... nervous. After we stopped sparring, it disappeared."

"But, we tried again, and the same thing happened," I continued. "Do you think I..." I trailed off, suddenly nervous about voicing my worries to my friends.

Axel was avoiding my gaze, instead staring out at the sunset. "Maybe you have an ability," he finally suggested.

"Huh?"

"You know, an ability. Maybe you somehow trigger memories of emotions or something... I dunno, it sounded better in my head." My friend awkwardly ran his hand through his hair again, still not looking at me.

I thought about that for a minute. Triggering memories of emotions? It had only happened twice, both times during battle. Maybe my Keyblade was causing it? ...No, the first time I had been using that sword from the weapons room. Could _that_ have caused it? Didn't seen likely.

I sighed, putting my elbows on my knees and resting my chin in my gloved hands. Axel's explanation did kind of make sense.

"If you're right," I told Axel, breaking the thoughtful silence that had formed, "than I have a question: What's the point of causing others to remember emotions? I mean, I guess it was helpful during my fight- sorry, _spar_ \- with you, since your attacks were too wide and open, and with Xion-" I broke off, glancing at my dark-haired friend sitting next to Roxas. "if I had really wanted to hurt her, she was so scared, I easily could have..." I trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence.

"It's fine, Alexa. I know you would never hurt me on purpose," Xion assured me. "I'm starting to think Axel may be right. Maybe this is some kind of special ability you have."

"As for the point of it, who knows? Maybe there isn't one," Axel commented with a shrug. "It'd be pretty useless against Heartless. Nobodies, however..." He finally glanced over at me, and I thought for a moment there was a slight glare of suspicion in his mint-green eyes.

I groaned. "Of course, I finally discover I have an ability, only it's one I can't use because it's not like I'm going to be fighting other Organization members! All I ever do is kill Heartless, and this doesn't help with that at all!" Even as I spoke, I suddenly remembered the few final levels of the video game: Battling against Saïx, Xion, Riku. Would I use my ability then? Was it possible _not_ to use it? I didn't seem to have any control over it. Then again, I hadn't really tried...

"Hey, we don't even know if Axel's right. It could just be a coincidence," Roxas pointed out.

"I... I don't really think so. It's happened twice now," I replied with a sigh. "But it's not like it's bad or anything, right? I mean, I don't spar with you guys too often, so as long as I don't everything will be fine."

"Right! Don't worry about it, Alexa," Xion told me with a kind smile. "Maybe it'll even come in handy some day."

I didn't respond, instead staring out at the sunset. What a day it had been. At least Roxas didn't seem grumpy anymore. He was back to his normal cheerful self, thankfully. But me? I was far from cheerful. If I could cause Nobodies to experience emotions... Was that why _I_ felt emotion? Because I definitely did now. I could feel stronger every day, it seemed.

So many questions. Would they ever be answered?

"Oh, before I forget... I probably won't be seeing you guys again for awhile," Axel said suddenly.

"Huh? Why?" I asked, turning toward him. I didn't remember him leaving for a second time in the game... or had he? The events of the timeline were starting to blur together in my memory.

"I'm gonna be out on a recon mission for a few days," my tall friend replied.

"Where?" Xion questioned curiously.

"Can't tell."

"What do you mean, 'can't tell?'" Roxas argued. "We're your friends. You can tell us anything!"

Axel shook his head. "Not this. It's classified. Anyway, I bet you guys have your fair share of secrets, too." Was it my imagination, or did he glance at me as he said that? I gulped nervously.

Roxas shook his head. "I don't." Xion nodded her head in agreement.

"Neither do I," I quickly added. _Probably too quickly,_ I mentally scolded myself.

The subject soon changed to how annoying Saïx was, and I listened quietly, laughing along with my friends even though I felt a tiny bit bad for Saïx. I felt guilty any time my friends joked about somebody meanly, although it rarely happened. Usually Demyx was their target, which really bothered me because he wasn't too bad a guy. A bit lazy, sure, but not completely evil or anything.

I momentarily forgot about my newfound 'ability,' or whatever it was. My friends helped my worries to disappear like ice cream melting off a stick.

Whatever problems lay ahead, we would get through them. Together.

Forget the timeline! I wanted a happy ending for my friends, and I was going to get one.

I just had to figure out how.

 **Author's Note:**

 **I FINALLY REVEALED HER ABILITY!**

 **I've been putting it off for awhile, since I kept reconsidering if I should use it or not. I decided on it awhile ago and kept changing my mind as to whether or not I should change it, but I finally decided to just finally get it over with. It works for some stuff I'm planning for future chapters, anyway. No going back now!**

 **Please let me know what you think in a review! Thanks for reading! :)**


	17. Chapter 17: Kingdom of Broken Hearts

**Author's Note:**

 **This chapter took me a lot longer than I thought it would to write! Actually, I accidentally made it so long I had to divide it into two separate chapters. Oops.**

 **I worked really hard on this chapter, editing it over and over to make sure it's nearly perfect. Hope y'all like it!**

 **I can't believe this is chapter 17 already. It feels like I just posted chapter one! Thank y'all so much for reading!**

 **A special thank you to my guest reviewers! You guys are awesome. :) (of course,** ** _everyone_** **who reviews this story is awesome! :D)**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the direct quotes from the game used in this fanfiction.**

 **Chapter Seventeen: Kingdom of Broken Hearts**

"Axel! You're back!"

It had been at least two weeks, maybe even three, since our day off. Roxas and I were sitting on top of the clock tower for our daily ice cream, talking about that day's missions. Or, at least, we _had_ been, until footsteps sounded from behind us, revealing our tall redheaded friend had finally returned.

"Welcome back!" I told him with a grin. Axel didn't scare me quite so much anymore. He really was nice once he warmed up to you, and as long as I didn't get on his bad side somehow, I was fine.

"Thanks," Axel replied, sitting down next to Roxas on the ledge. "How're you guys holding up? Where's Xion?"

"She's not here yet," Roxas answered with a frown.

"But she should be soon!" I added cheerfully.

My friend wasn't reassured, however. "It's getting late. This isn't like her..."

Roxas's concern began to make me worry, too. Had something happened? Was Xion okay?

We waited for a few more minutes in silence before finally heading back to the castle. I would have gone to Xion's room to make sure she was alright, but I honestly had no idea where it was. I didn't really think anything had happened to her, anyway. Instead, I went to my room and wrote in my diary.

 _How many days have I been here now?_ I wrote. _At least three months, right? Wow... That's a long time. Wait a minute..._ I gasped aloud, shock causing the pen to slip from my fingers and draw a sharp line across the page. If I had been in this world for over three months, I must have turned fourteen! Picking up the pen, I continued to write:

 _Let's see, it was April 2nd- wait, no, April 3rd- when I appeared in this world, and my birthday is June first. Oh my gosh! I missed my birthday!_ I felt sad at the thought that my birthday had passed by without me noticing. Back home I looked forward to it for weeks before, usually having a party with all my friends. Not this year, I guess.

 _But wow..._ I added, _I'm fourteen now. It sounds much older and more impressive than thirteen. If only I looked my age! I hate being short!_ I sighed and closed my journal, staring out the window toward the glowing Kingdom Heart shining brightly in the sky. _Alexa, number XV, age fourteen,_ I thought happily. _Now all I need is a cool-sounding title. Do I have one? Hmm... I should ask Axel._

Then I flopped down on my bed and fell asleep.

The next morning, on my way to the Grey Area I ran into Roxas. (Not literally though, thankfully!)

"Hey!" I greeted him cheerfully. "Ready for another day of missions?"

My friend smiled back at me. "You bet."

We continued on our way until I heard a faint voice up ahead that made me stop suddenly. "Please, just give me another chance!" _That was Xion!_

I glanced at Roxas who nodded slightly, seeming worried. He knew it was her, too. We both quietly walked closer to see what was going on.

As we rounded the corner, Saïx and Xion came into view. Our friend had her hood up and her shoulders were slumped, as if she had no hope left. "We can't afford to expend any more chances on you," Saïx stated calmly. His words felt like an arrow stabbing into me. How dare he say that to my friend! She worked so hard for him, and he didn't care!

As he turned around to leave, I heard him add: "You were a mistake we never should have made."

I felt my hands curl into fists as Saïx walked away, leaving Xion standing alone with her head down. He was such a jerk! I didn't use that word often, only for people I really disliked. Boy, did I really dislike Saïx!

I ran over to Xion, who didn't even look up as I approached. "Don't listen to him!" I told her. "Saïx doesn't-"

I broke off as my dark-haired friend turned and ran past me, going the way Roxas and I had just cone from. "Xion! Come back!" I called, but she was already gone, the echoing sound of her footsteps growing fainter and fainter.

Panic rose up within me. This had happened in the video game! Xion would be gone for awhile. And then... And then... I shook my head in frustration, trying to remember.

"Xion..." Roxas said quietly, startling me back to the present. "How could Saïx have said that? What did Xion mean by 'another chance'?" I looked over at him, feeling a pang of sadness as I saw his sorrowful expression. "I wonder where she went..."

"She probably just went back to her room, or something," I told him halfheartedly. "C'mon, we have to get to the Grey Area."

It was a lousy start to a lousy day.

My mission was in Halloween Town, which is probably one of my least favorite worlds. It's always dark, and just plain creepy. I mean, there was a guillotine in the town square! It always felt like someone (or something) was watching me from the fog that hovered above the ground. _Probably just Heartless,_ I kept telling myself, but I was never fully reassured.

My job for the day was simple heart collection, but I struggled for some reason. Something just felt... off, I guess. A few hours and two Hi-Potions later, my mission was finally over. All I wanted to do was go up to the clock tower and talk with my friends. So I did.

As I exited a Dark Corridor out onto the top of the tower, I was disappointed to find it empty. Had my friends already left? They must have, since my mission had taken longer than usual. Oh, well.

Sighing, I reentered the shadowy portal and returned to the castle. At least now I would have more journal-writing time, right? There was always a positive to every negative.

 **~Time-Skip~**

The next day's mission was a lot better. It was fairly quick, being a simple heart collection in Agrabah. Only smaller Heartless appeared, to my relief. The heat didn't even bother me quite as much anymore, once I got used to it, although I still wasn't a fan of it.

As soon as I was done, I headed toward the clock tower through a Dark Corridor. Roxas and Xion were already there, eating ice cream in silence. Was I just imagining it, or was there a bit of tension in the air between them?

"Hi guys!" I greeted them, sitting down next to Xion as usual.

"Hey Alexa," Roxas greeted me with a friendly smile. Xion simply muttered "Hi" while staring at her ice cream like it was the most interesting thing in all the worlds. Something was up. I tried to remember if something like this had happened in the video game, but most of the smaller details of the timeline were now forgotten. Only the bigger, more important events (plus a few random things) remained in my memory.

"I wonder where Axel is," Roxas commented to break the uneasy silence. "Xion and I teamed up on our missions today, since we were both assigned to Twilight Town. I guess we finished a little _too_ fast, huh? How'd your mission go?"

"Not too bad," I replied. "Standard heart collection. No large Heartless, thankfully."

Xion seemed to be spacing out, still staring at her ice cream. Her eyes moved slightly and she was mouthing words, as if she was imagining herself into a different world. "Xion? Are you okay?" I asked, concerned for my friend.

When she didn't respond, Roxas joined in. "Xion? Hey, Xion!"

Just when I was beginning to panic, our dark-haired friend startled and looked over at Roxas. "Huh?"

"What's with you today?" Roxas questioned, a teasing tone to his voice that conflicted with the worry in his eyes.

"Sorry. My mind's on other things," Xion apologized.

"It's fine, we all space out sometimes," I told her. This conversation seemed vaguely familiar- had it happened in the video game? Or maybe it just reminded me of another conversation we'd had before.

My dark-haired friend was silent for a moment, staring out into the orangey-gold sky. When she finally spoke, it was so quiet I could barely hear. "Why... Why are we doing doing this? All of this... working for the Organization..." She shook her head. "What's the point?"

So many conflicting feelings swirled inside of me at her words. I was only doing this to be with my friends, even though I knew the Organization wasn't good. Every heart I worked so hard to collect would only be used for evil if Xemnas got his way.

"What do you mean, why?" Roxas questioned. "So we can get hearts of our own... right? Whatever that means."

Xion turned toward our blond friend. "Why? What do we even need hearts for?" Her question was simple and straightforward, with a note of desperatation in her voice. I opened my mouth to answer her, only to pause as I realized: Xion and Roxas didn't really need hearts. They both could obviously feel, even though they didn't seem to know that, because they didn't get what it was like to _not_ feel. I couldn't exactly tell them that, though, because... well... How would I explain how I knew?

Roxas shook his head in answer to Xion's question. "I don't know. But I figure that once we have them, we'll understand. Right, Alexa?"

"Um..." I was taken by surprise. "Sure? I mean..." I trailed off, embarrassed and unsure how to respond. Roxas had never had a heart. How was I supposed to explain to him that he didn't really need one?

"I just wish I knew what I was doing here." Xion spoke so quietly I could barely hear her. "How I got here..." She sighed, glancing over at me before turning back toward Roxas. "I've started having the strangest dreams. I can never remember what they're about, though. I just wake up feeling like... like something is wrong. Really wrong."

I held back a gasp of surprise at her words. I used to feel the same way sometimes, back before I joined the Organization. There was no way there could be a connection, but still, it was weird. Even now that I no longer dreamed, I could still relate to her. I wanted to know why I was here, too.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, Xigbar once told me that you and me were pretty special," Roxas told our dark-haired friend.

Xion didn't seem assured. "Special just means different, Roxas."

I didn't know what to say. Everything I thought of would just make things worse.

We sat there in silence for a minute or two longer before Xion stood up. "Well, we may both be special, Roxas," she announced, gazing up at the sunset. "But I don't think we're the same."

"Xion, wait!" My blond friend called, but Xion was already walking into a Dark Corridor. "What is with her?" Roxas muttered, staring at the spot where our friend had disappeared.

I sighed, staring out into the sky. There was so much I wanted to say, but I didn't think I should. I wished I could explain everything to Roxas, but that would just mess things up beyond repair.

"We should probably head back to the castle," I said quietly, carefully getting up from the ledge. "Maybe Xion's just tired. I know I am." I forced a smile, hoping to reassure my blond friend, but he wasn't even looking at me. His gaze was locked onto the sunset. "Well, um, see you later," I awkwardly muttered before summoning a Dark Corridor.

Back in my room, I wrote furiously in my journal, letting all my worry and sadness and frustration spill out onto the pages. _This isn't fair,_ I wrote. _I hate seeing my friends so miserable, but I can't think of anything to say that wouldn't ruin everything. My throat gets all tight and I feel like if I try to talk, I'll choke on my own words. I can only hope that tomorrow will be better. We have to keep going, getting through every day until this all ends. Oh my gosh- the end of the game. How will I survive that?! I can't watch Roxas defeat Xion. I can't. There has to be something I can do! Some other way..._

I sighed and closed my journal, glancing out at the Kingdom Heart in the starry sky. It almost looked like there was a small crack running through it, although I knew it was just shadows. _Even a Kingdom Heart can be broken,_ I thought absentmindedly.

Then I gasped as suddenly an idea hit me. No, sadly it wasn't an idea on how to get a happy ending for my friends.

I had finally found the perfect name for my Keyblade.

I summoned my weapon, studying it as I kept repeating its new name in my mind to make sure it fit. Now that I had thought of it, no other name would work. I knew now what to call my Keyblade.

Kingdom of Broken Hearts.

The longer I thought about it, the more certain I became that it was the perfect title for my weapon. It had 'kingdom' and 'heart,' plus the handles were shaped like half-hearts or 'broken hearts.' It just seemed to fit it so well. Maybe it was kind of a weird name, and a bit depressing, but I couldn't think of anything better. Also, it just sounded so _right,_ you know? Like it had always been destined to be named that. So Kingdom of Broken Hearts it was.

Plus, I could call it "Bro" for short. A Keyblade named Bro.

I held back a laugh as I dismissed my weapon, flopping down onto my bed and staring up at the gray ceiling with a smile on my face. So much for Nobodies not being able to feel emotion. I could still go from depressed one second to happy the next. Didn't that require a heart?

 _Maybe some questions will never be answered,_ I thought as I fell asleep. _Or maybe they already have been, and I just haven't realized it yet._

 **~Time-Skip~**

The next few days passed by fairly uneventfully. My missions were harder and by the time I finished and headed over to the clock tower, it was always empty. I hadn't seen my friends for at least four days, maybe longer. I missed them.

Hearing a sound behind me, I turned to see three Dire Plants appear. I was on Heart Collection in Twilight Town, my mission almost complete. I lunged toward the trio of Heartless, slashing at them with my Keyblade until they disappeared. _Maybe today I'll finally get to see my friends again,_ I thought as the hearts left behind were absorbed into my weapon. _I guess I could start heading in the direction of the clock tower, since I don't see any more Heartless._ I double-checked around the Tram Common before walking toward Station Heights, my Keyblade still held at the ready.

I didn't need it, however, as no Heartless had appeared by the time I'd reached Station Plaza. Standing in front of the station, I looked up to see if anyone was on top of the clock tower. To my surprise, I could make out two tiny figures at the very top. My friends!

I quickly summoned a Dark Corridor and exited it out onto the tower. Now that I was just behind them, I could see the figures were Axel and Roxas. "Hi guys!" I greeted them cheerfully as I sat down next to my blond friend.

"Hey, Alexa. Haven't seen you for a few days," Axel commented before taking a large bite of his ice cream.

"Sorry," I apologized. "I've been busy with missions. I can't beleive how many Heartless there are! We must have defeated thousands by now, and yet more are still coming."

"Have you seen Xion recently?" Roxas asked me hopefully, a look of concern in his huge blue eyes. He seemed really worried, and that made me worry, too.

I shook my head. "No, sorry. I'm sure she's fine, don't worry!" I smiled, but it was mostly forced. Xion was okay... Right? If only I could remember the timeline of the video game better!

A slightly awkward silence formed between us, and we simply sat there, staring out at the sunset, until Axel mentioned we really should be getting back to the castle.

"See you guys tomorrow, hopefully!" I told my friends as we exited the Dark Corridor into one of the castle's many hallways. As I headed toward my room, I couldn't help but sigh. It seemed as if my life was full of nothing but worries these days. All I had wanted, when I wished I could go to the Kingdom Hearts universe, was a chance to hang out with the Sea-Salt trio. Sure, I had gotten that chance, but being here was a lot more complicated than I had imagined. I guess things are never really simple, huh?

But things always get better, I reminded myself. No matter how hard things may be right now, it won't last forever.

Tomorrow was another day.

 **Author's Note:**

 **And now the title should make sense! See, I wasn't lying when I said it would make sense back in chapter one!**

 **So, what did you think of that chapter? I know not a lot happened, it was mostly some dialogue and stuff I had to get out of the way. I'm actually kind of proud of this chapter. Hope you liked it! Feedback is greatly appreciated!**

 **Chapter 18 will be posted either tonight or Tuesday, depends on if I have time to edit it or not.**

 **Thanks for reading! :)**


	18. Chapter 18: Worries and Hopes

**Author's Note:**

 **This chapter required a lot less editing than I thought it would, actually, so here's another double update! :D Hope y'all don't mind me posting two chapters in one day.**

 **Also, I just checked, and this story has over 4,600 views so far! Wow! That's way more than I ever imagined it would get, to be honest. Thank y'all so much for reading! You have no idea how much it means to me. :)**

 **Anyways, I really hope y'all like this chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the direct quotes from the game used in this fanfiction.**

 **Chapter 18: Worries and Hopes**

Have you ever woken up and just known, for some unexplainable reason, that it was going to be an awful day? The sun could be shining brightly, birds chirping happily, but something keeps telling you that the day ahead won't be pleasant.

That's how I felt as I walked into the Grey Area the next day. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened so far, but I just couldn't shake that feeling of dread.

It wasn't long until I found out why.

"Hey, Alexa!" Demyx called. He was sitting on a nearby sofa, strumming his sitar as usual. The song was different this time, made up of mostly low, ominous-sounding notes. "You're with me today. Go bug Saïx for the details and stuff."

I nodded in acknowledgment, going over to Saïx. As always, he was standing by the giant window, watching everyone in the room with a suspicious eye. "Alexa, today your mission is to defeat a large Heartless that has surfaced in Twilight Town. As you've already been informed, Demyx will accompany you."

"Yes, sir!" I replied, turning back towards Demyx. My partner for the day was now standing up, lazily leaning on his sitar.

"Man, I can't believe yet another member is down," he complained. "Even more work for us."

I wasn't sure I'd heard him correctly at first. "Wh-What do you mean?" I asked, that feeling of dread growing. "Who's down?"

He glanced at me, a look of surprise in his green eyes that quickly changed to pity. "Oohhh, you don't know yet. Xion, man. She's been asleep ever since her last mission. Apparently she got really beat up or something."

I barely heard him after my friend's name was spoken. Roxas had been worrying about Xion for awhile now, and I kept telling him she was fine! Now this had happened, and-

I closed my eyes, focusing on my breathing and trying to calm down. I sort of remembered this happening in the video game now. Xion would wake up, she'd be fine. Roxas had been in his coma-thing for nearly three weeks, and he was perfectly fine now. Xion would be the same way.

I still wasn't reassured. I kept hearing my own voice telling Roxas that our dark-haired friend was okay, that he had nothing to worry about. Guilt grew and grew inside me until I could barely stand it. I forced my eyes open and ran toward the exit, only to have Xigbar block my path. "Going somewhere?" he questioned, his one eye glaring at me.

Before I could reply, Saïx spoke from behind me. "You have a mission to carry out," he stated coldly. "You can worry about Number XIV once it's completed."

"I..." My weak protest trailed off into a sigh as I realized there was no way I could win this argument. I didn't really want to argue against Saïx and Xigbar anyway, as they both scared me. I nodded slightly before summoning a Dark Corridor. "Ready?" I asked Demyx, although it ended up sounding more like a statement than a question.

He followed me into the Corridor, and our mission began.

 **~Small Time-Skip~**

The giant Heartless we were sent to take care of turned out to be an Avalanche, those dragon-resembling large heartless who could shoot out ice instead of fire like a Tailbunker. The second we entered the Station Plaza it appeared, flying down to just above our heads and shooting out a blast of ice crystals. Thinking fast, I summoned my Keyblade and held it out to block the attack.

"Aim for its tail!" I called to Demyx, who was running toward our target. He nodded in acknowledgment and began hitting the Avalanche's tail with his sitar.

Panic was rising up within me as I stared fearfully at the giant Heartless, who suddenly spun around in the air, knocking Demyx aside. I was frozen in terror as the Avalanche shot out more ice crystals, which bounced harmlessly off of my Keyblade. Demyx was attacking again, now aiming at the wings of our target.

"Alexa, you get the tail!" he yelled, jolting me out of my panicked state. I nodded, taking a deep breath and gathering up all of my courage. Avalanches may be big and scary, but they're evil and I had to defeat this one.

I ran past the Heartless's right side, pausing to aim a quick attack to its wing before continuing toward the tail. After only a few hits, the Avalanche spun around again, surprising me and knocking me down. I grunted as I hit the hard stone ground, too stunned to move for a few seconds. I was vaguely aware of Demyx battling the Avalanche as I tried to catch my breath, my vision blurred and my muscles sore. I had to get up, had to fight! I couldn't let Demyx defeat this Heartless alone. I had to help him!

I struggled up to my feet, blinking a few times until my vision cleared. The Avalanche was in the air just above Demyx, and I jumped up and tried to hit its tail with my Keyblade. To my relief, it hit, and the Heartless lost its balance. Demyx and I leapt out of the way as it crashed down, then ran forward to attack again.

After a few hits, the Avalanche was defeated, disappearing to leave nothing but hearts behind. I sighed in relief as my Keyblade absorbed all that was left of the Heartless.

"Mission complete," I announced proudly.

"Man, that was hard," Demyx complained, summoning a Corridor back to the castle. "I hate fighting."

"Yeah, I'm not a fan either," I agreed. "But the Heartless have to be defeated by someone, right?"

Demyx shrugged. "I guess. You coming or not?" He started walking toward the Dark Corridor in front of him.

"Um, not yet. I'm going to hang around here for a bit," I replied. I needed to talk to Roxas.

After Demyx left, I ran up to the clock tower. I don't know why I didn't use a Dark Corridor, instead choosing to climb up the several flights of stairs that led to the top. By the time I finally reached the end of the stairs I was out of breath, my poor muscles screaming in protest.

To my disappointment, the ledge where my friends I and usually sat was empty. Where were they? Had they already left? Maybe they were with Xion.

Just as I was about to summon a Corridor back to the castle, I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. A minute later Roxas appeared, his shoulders slumped and head hanging down. He looked pretty miserable, and I felt bad for him. "Hi," I greeted him quietly.

He ignored me, walking over to the ledge and sitting down. Was he mad at me? No, he seemed depressed, not angry. He must have been worried about Xion. I didn't blame him.

I sat down next to him. "You okay?"

To my surprise, he shook his head. "Do you know about what happened to Xion?" he asked me, looking away.

I nodded. "I found out today that she's been asleep for awhile. I... I feel bad for always telling you that things will be okay," I admitted. "You've been worried about Xion for awhile, and I kept saying she was fine... But she wasn't... I'm sorry."

Roxas finally glanced over at me, surprised. "It's not your fault, Alexa. You didn't know." He looked away again, and I felt a small rush of relief, although my guilt hadn't completely gone away.

"Thanks," I told him, my voice barely above a whisper.

It was then that I heard footsteps behind us. Turning around, I discovered that Axel was walking toward us. He sat down next to Roxas, staring out at the sunset without saying anything.

"Axel, about Xion..." Roxas began.

Our tall friend ran his hand through his hair. "I heard what happened. Saïx told me this morning."

"Why does he hate her?" My blond friend wondered glumly.

Axel glanced sharply at Roxas. "Listen to you. Why do you do that? Talk like you're a real person."

"Because he is a real person!" I argued. "Just because somebody's a Nobody doesn't mean they aren't real! So what if we're not supposed to exist? We _do_ exist. I exist, you exist, Roxas exists. We're real." I knew I was probably glaring at Axel, but his question had annoyed me. Roxas was obviously upset, and Axel wasn't helping!

"None of us are real, Alexa. Without hearts-"

I didn't want to hear it. I didn't wait for Axel to finish his sentence. Maybe he wasn't such a bad person, but he could really annoy me sometimes!

"Whatever," I muttered, getting up from the ledge and summoning a Dark Corridor. "I'll be at the castle if you need me."

I know, I know, I overreacted. But I was upset, and Axel had pushed me over the edge. Why was I so upset? Well, because Roxas was so upset, I guess.

Back in my room a few minutes later, I regretted leaving the clock tower angrily. I should have stayed and ignored Axel, instead of making a scene. It was too late to go back, though.

I sighed, sitting on my bed and staring out the window. I did that a lot. Gazing at the stars helped me to think, or at least, I think it did.

Why were things so difficult lately? What had happened to the days where we'd happily eat ice cream and stare out at the sunset, forgetting about all our worries and stress? I hoped those days would come back soon. I missed them.

 _Please,_ I begged the universe, _let Xion wake up soon. Let everything go back to normal. I can't stand all this sadness lately!_

I wrote in my journal for a long time after that, filling up at least a dozen pages. The small book was almost halfway filled up with writing, I noticed as I was about to put it away. I hadn't realized how full it was already! What would I do once it was full? Ask Saïx for another one? I couldn't imagine myself walking up to Saïx and requesting another journal. I'd just have to go without one, I guess.

 _At least there's always tomorrow,_ I thought. _Things will get better._

And they did.

The next few days passed by fairly quickly, consisting of challenging missions in Agrabah. The desert world wasn't really such a bad place, once you got used to the heat (and all the Heartless). I had pretty much given up on learning magic, as Xion and I had never resumed our lessons and I still wasn't very good at casting Fire.

After my missions, I'd head up to the clock tower to hang out with Axel and Roxas. My blond friend was more cheerful now, although he'd get really quiet whenever Xion was mentioned. I hated seeing him so sad. As long as we avoided the topic of our dark-haired friend, Roxas was fine. Or, at least, he seemed fine.

Of course I was worried about Xion too, but I knew from having played the video game that she would be okay.

...Right?

As for Axel... he definitely seemed to be hiding something. I didn't know what, but there was something he wasn't telling us...

I was wondering about this as I walked down the hallway toward the Gray Area one morning, a few days after I had angrily left the clock tower. Sure, I had apologized for that, and it seemed like we were all getting along fine now. But still... something just didn't feel right. Maybe it was just the fact that Xion wasn't with us.

As I entered the Grey Area, I nearly crashed into someone about my height. The hood of their cloak was up, so I couldn't tell who it was.

But wait a second... The only two Organization members my height were Roxas and-

"Xion?!" I gasped, noticing Roxas was standing next to the hooded figure. It _had_ to be her!

Sure enough, the person I had almost crashed into turned around, the blue eyes shining from underneath the hood's shadow revealing them to be my dark-haired friend.

"Xion! Oh my gosh! I'm so glad you're awake!" I told her happily, unable to hold back my grin of relief.

Before my friend could answer, Saïx walked over. "I see _it's_ finally awake," he commented, glaring at Xion.

"Xion would like to go with me on my mission today," Roxas spoke up. I noticed a slight gleam of anger in his eyes as he spoke to Saïx. Well, he deserved it! He had no reason to be so rude to my friend. I knew he disliked her because she was a replica, but that was so unfair!

"No."

"No? Why not?!" Roxas protested. I noticed Xion was awkwardly staring down at her shoes, saying nothing.

"That thing has no reason to be outside the castle. It should be in its room."

I glared at Saïx. "That's just plain mean. Xion has done nothing to you. And she's not an _it!_ " I have no idea where the courage came from that caused me to say that.

"Keep out of this," Saïx warned me. The coldness in his eyes as he glared at me was enough to make me back away in fear.

Roxas and I exchanged a worried glance. Was Xion going to be stuck in the castle? How could we possibly convince Saïx to let her go on Roxas's mission with him? It seemed hopeless, but I wasn't about to give up, and I don't think Roxas was going to either.

"Hey, Xion! Guess you finally decided to get up, huh?"

I breathed a sigh of relief as I heard Axel. Surely he'd find some way to convince Saïx!

 _Unless... Maybe Xion wasn't supposed to go with Roxas. Maybe she needed to stay here, for the timeline to remain the same._ The thought struck me suddenly, triggering a wave of panic. If only I could remember! What was I supposed to do? As much as I wanted things to be different from the video game (namely, the ending), was I really ready to change things completely?

Then again, it was just one mission, right? How much could it affect things?

"Good morning, Axel," Xion greeted our tall friend, finally speaking.

Saïx glanced over at Axel for only a second or two before turning back toward Roxas. "You will team up with Axel today, as scheduled," he informed my friend. "Xion will stay here."

My dark-haired friend shook her head in frustration. "Please, don't keep me pent up in here. I want to go on a mission!"

"Don't worry, I'll look after her," Axel assured Saïx. "I won't let her out of my sight. No problem, right?"

To my amazement, Saïx actually seemed to consider this idea. Hope bubbled up inside me. I could tell this would mean a lot to Xion, as disappointed as I was that I wouldn't be included. I forced myself to ignore my jealously, focusing on making my friend happy.

Saïx turned away. "Fine. Go, if you wish."

As he walked away, I shot a thankful look toward Axel. "Good luck today!" I told my friends cheerfully. "Be careful."

"Thanks Alexa," Roxas told me with a kind smile. "We'll be fine. After all, there's three of us!" He paused, and I thought I could see his eyes darken slightly. "It's too bad you can't come with us."

Of course, I had been thinking the same thing, but I wasn't about to admit that. Instead I shook my head, smiling. "I'd probably just get in the way. I'll be fine on whatever other mission Saïx has planned for me. Anyways, you should get going before Saïx changes his mind." I grinned at my friend before turning away and walking over to receive my mission for the day.

Maybe I had just changed the timeline, or maybe I was simply making sure it stayed on course. Honestly, I couldn't remember anymore.

And even though I wasn't getting to go on the mission with my friends, I still had a feeling that something big was going to happen that day.

 **~Time-Skip~**

"Well, at least it's not Agrabah," I commented to myself as I exited the Dark Corridor. I had been assigned heart collection in Wonderland for the day. It was my first time in this world, and my first impression of if was that it was... well, weird, to be perfectly honest. I was standing inside what appeared to be a house, with an oddly-shaped round room that a hallway stretched off of. Hanging on the brick walls were several paintings of rabbits and carrots, all in colorful frames. The floor had a dizzyingly confusing patten that made my brain hurt if I stared at it for more than a few seconds. And the ceiling... I didn't even know what to make of it. There was furniture and even a fireplace up there, and I really hoped it wouldn't fall down on me. They seemed firmly attached, but you never knew.

I quickly walked down the hallway, eager to get away from that weird room. The ceiling became normal and the walls became papered pink as I walked along, and at the end of the hallway was an open door. Thick shadows blocked my view of whatever was on the other side, so there was only one way to find out.

Summoning my Keyblade, I stepped through the door.

The room I walked into seemed fairly normal at first glance, with a pink checkered floor and pink wallpaper and a pink door in the wall opposite the one behind me. So much pink! "This place isn't bad at all, besides the furniture on the ceiling in that one room," I decided. Sure, I had seen this world before in the video game, but it looked a lot different in real life than it had on the screen of my 3DS. Everything was so _real_.

Wait a second... in the game, didn't you have to shrink in order to fight Heartless?

I walked around the room, looking for Heartless. There were none to be seen. Oh my gosh, maybe I would have to shrink! But how did I do that? If only I could remember the game better!

As I passed the small blue table in the center of the room, I noticed two little containers. One had a pink label that showed a tiny plant growing into a giant tree, while the other had the reverse printed on a blue label. _That's right! This was how you shrunk!_

Excited, I picked up the container with the blue label. I was a bit nervous about shrinking. What if I couldn't get back to my normal size? I could be stuck being small forever!

Then again, I did used to dream about what it would be like to be only a few inches tall...

Before I could change my mind, I twisted the lid off the bottle and took a sip of the contents.

It was tasteless, almost like water but with a slight bitterness. No sooner had I swallowed the liquid down than the bottle started growing- _no, wait, it wasn't the container that was changing size,_ I realized as I quickly dropped it back onto the table before it could crush me. It was me. _I had shrunk!_

Sure enough, I watched as the table passed by me as I shrunk down, down, until I was only about half a foot or so tall. The room that had seemed so bright and cheerful mere seconds ago now seemed a large and intimidating place. Luckily my Keyblade had shrunk too, so I still had a weapon.

"Well, guess I'd better go look for Heartless," I decided, looking around the now-giant room in amazement. When I was younger, I loved to imagine what life would be like if I was tiny. Now my dream was coming true!

A flash of shadow to my left reminded me that I was on a mission and had to stay focused. Two Sapphire Elegies hovered nearby, glaring at me with their glowing yellow eyes.

And so my mission officially began.

I had gotten much more skilled at defeating small flying Heartless, although the Elegies still presented a bit of a challenge. Mainly because of their ability to teleport out of the way when I hit them. Once they were defeated, I had only taken a few steps before two Grey Caprices appeared.

The mission went on like that for awhile. Every time I would defeat Heartless, more would appear. It seemed to be a never-ending cycle. At least the Heartless were my size, instead of normal. The mental image of a giant Striped Aria made me shudder as I scanned the area for any signs of more Heartless. There were none to be seen.

Mission complete.

...Or was it?

I glanced toward the small doorway to my right. It wasn't very fancy looking, just a simple opening with purple trim. I could just make out some green hedges on the other side. Whatever waited beyond that doorway seemed to be calling to me.

But I had finished my mission. It was time to RTC.

I looked up at the table where the small bottles rested, now several feet over my head. How was I going to get up there? There was a chair next to it, but it was awfully tall...

I got a running start before leaping up toward the chair, coming short by less than an inch. I had to get up there! I tried again, and this time I just barely managed to pull myself up onto the seat. I had made it! Well, almost. I still had to get up onto the table. It was much closer now, however, and I carefully climbed up.

Now my only problem was how to lift the giant container that would bring me back to my original height.

The bottle was just the right size for me to get both my arms around, and as I attempted to pick it up I was surprised at how impossibly light it was. It seemed to have nearly no weight at all! I carefully tilted it so a few large drops of liquid poured out, which I gulped down.

Suddenly the room began to shrink, the bottle slipping out of my hands as I outgrew it until I was standing on top of the table, returned to my normal height once again.

"That was awesome," I whispered. Wonderland was a lot cooler than I remembered it being in the video game.

As I carefully got down from the table, I remembered my earlier feeling about how something big was going to happen. "More like small," I commented aloud with a smile. This was definitely now my favorite world- wait, no, second favorite. No world could ever beat Twilight Town, with its beautiful sunsets and giant clock tower.

Speaking of the clock tower, that's where I headed after my mission, but to my disappointment it was empty. Were my friends still on their mission? Had something happened? I started to worry.

Since I didn't want to stay at the tower without my friends, I headed back to the castle...

...and crashed right into someone as I exited the Dark Corridor. Why did this always happen to me?!

"Sorry! I'm sorry!" I apologized as I backed away from whoever I had run into. Once I got a clear view of who it was, however, my embarrassment mostly turned to relief. "Roxas! How'd your mission go?" I asked him, noticing the slight glint of worry in his large blue eyes.

"Not bad, I guess," he answered, frowning. "We defeated the Heartless we were supposed to, but... Xion collapsed again.

"Again?!" I gasped in shock and horror. Had that happened in the game's timeline? "Is she okay?"

To my relief, Roxas nodded. "She's awake now. According to her, she just got dizzy and fainted."

I frowned. "That's not good."

"Yeah..." Roxas agreed. "Well, she agreed to take it easy for the rest of the day, so hopefully she'll be better tomorrow."

"I'm sure she will," I assured him. After all, nothing too bad had happened to Xion in the game's timeline, at least nothing that I could remember (besides the ending). Oh, what am I saying- practically everything that happened to her was bad! Her entire life was hard. It wasn't fair. I wasn't going to let the ending of the game take place, even if it meant ruining the entire timeline beyond repair, I decided. I couldn't stand to see my friends unhappy!

"Are you okay?" I asked Roxas, seeing he was still frowning. "You seem kinda down."

My blond friend shook his head with a smile, although it seemed forced. "Nah, I'm fine. How was your mission?"

"Not bad. I went to Wonderland for the first time today. You've been there, right?"

We talked for a bit longer, standing there in the middle of the hallway, each telling the other about our mission that day. I exaggerated my story as much as I could, hoping to cheer up my friend. I could tell Roxas was starting to cheer up a bit, and that made me happy. By the time we had run out of things to tell each other, he definitely seemed happier.

"Well, see you later, I guess," I told him as I turned to walk away.

"Alexa... Wait."

"Yeah?" I stopped and turned around, confused.

"Thanks. For trying to cheer me up, I mean. You're always so positive."

"No problem," I told him with a smile. "That's what friends are for. Glad I could help!"

 **~Time-Skip~**

 _Dear Journal,_

 _I have to be at least up to day 173 from the video game's timeline, right? I'm honestly amazed it's still remained mostly the same, even with a whole other person here. Speaking of that, I still have no idea why I'm here. I know I'm a Keyblade wielder, I have some weird ability that effects emotion, but I still have so many questions. I keep forgetting to ask Axel what my title is. You know, like how Roxas is "The Key of Destiny." Do I even have one? I don't think Xion did..._

 _There's so many things I have to be constantly remembering. Like, stuff from the video game, and all the things I know that I shouldn't (like the fact that I know Xion is a replica, among other things), and it's just-_

 _No. I shouldn't be complaining. Seriously, I'm living my dream. I've always wanted to go on an adventure, right? I've finally gotten my chance. Heck, I've fought giant Heartless- and won! Alea would never have ever even imagined herself being able to do that._

 _Sure, I miss my family and friends back home. But if I were given the chance to go back right now? I don't think I would. I need to get a happy ending for my friends here. That's my goal now._

 _Oh, yeah, and I still want answers. Like how did I get here?!_

 _Thanks for always listening._

 _Love, Alexa._

 **Author's Note:**

 **THAT CHAPTER IS FINALLY DONE! It took me awhile to write, but I think it turned out okay. What do you think? Feedback is greatly appreciated!**

 **I don't know if you've noticed, but I tend to skip over missions since I dislike writing about them. Do you think I should include more missions in the story? Is there too much dialogue? Please let me know! Thanks!**

 **The next chapter probably won't be posted for awhile, since I'm going to focus on some other projects I've been neglecting for a bit.**

 **As always, thank you for reading! :)**


	19. Chapter 19: Falling

**Author's Note:**

 **I AM SO SORRY! SO, SO, SO, SO SORRY!**

 **This chapter took me way too long to write! Actually, I wrote this in about two days, but it took me way too long to get around to writing it. Life has been crazy lately, and... Okay, I must admit, I finally got KH3D and for awhile all my free time was spent playing that game. I apologize for not working on this story for so long.**

 **But I'm back! And I promise to update more often! :D**

 **I also apologize that this chapter isn't the best, it's kind of rushed but I did a lot of editing, so hopefully it turned out okay. Please let me know what you think! After not writing this story for so long, I hope I did okay with this chapter.**

 **And wow- 5,000+ views so far?! Thank y'all so much!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the direct quotes from the game used in this fanfiction.**

 **Chapter Nineteen: Falling**

"Oh my God, if I have to go back to Agrabah _one more time_ I swear I'm leaving the Organization," I muttered as I slowly ate my ice cream, savoring the salty-sweetness.

"As if. No one simply 'leaves' Organization XIII," Axel warned.

It had been at least two weeks since my first mission in Wonderland, and nothing much worth mentioning had happened. My last five missions in a row had been in the desert heat of Agrabah, and I was getting tired of it. Thankfully all three of my best friends in this world were up at the clock tower when I arrived a few minutes before.

"You're usually not one to complain," Xion noted. "What's up? Did something happen?"

I shrugged, focusing on my popsicle. The truth was, I had finally dreamed last night. At least, I think I had. It was confusing.

I held back a sigh, not wanting to worry my friends. All day I'd been thinking about that dream. The only problem was, I couldn't really remember anything about it. I remembered waking up and gasping in shock as I recalled the dream's events, and then they had immediately vanished from my mind. The only detail I could remember was a feeling of confusion and fear. It was bothering me.

"No, nothing happened," I answered Xion's question. "Sorry for complaining."

"It's fine, everyone has to vent once in awhile," my dark-haired friend replied with a kind smile.

If only she knew just how much I had to vent about! But I couldn't complain. It wouldn't be fair for me to complain, since my problems were so small and unimportant compared to my friends'.

"Don't worry, if I'd had five days in a row of Agrabah, I'd be complaining too," Axel stated. "It's enough to make anyone miserable."

"Why do they keep sending you there, anyway?" Roxas wondered. He'd been oddly quiet today, and this was the first time he'd spoken since we arrived at the clock tower.

I shrugged. "Maybe Saïx is mad at me? I don't know. I haven't done anything to offend him, though... have I?" I hated offending anyone, even people I couldn't stand.

"More like there's a ton of Heartless in Agrabah that need to be taken care of," Axel corrected. "Trust me, if Saïx was upset with you, you'd know it."

I noticed that Xion stared down at her hands after Axel's statement. Poor Xion! She knew what it was like to be on Saïx's bad side.

"Well, hopefully I'll get sent to a different world tomorrow," I declared cheerfully. Seemed like I was always "the cheerful one" no matter where I was, what world I was in. It was just my nature to act like everything was fine and okay, when in reality my world was falling apart.

Bad memories floated up in my mind at that thought, and I shook my head to dismiss them. _Don't think about your past life,_ I told myself silently. _Focus on this one._

Wait a second... past life? That wasn't accurate. It wasn't like I had died or anything, right? I may be a Nobody or whatever with a different name now, but I was still basically the same person.

"Maybe you'll get teamed up with one of us!" Roxas's suggestion broke through my confusing mess of thoughts, bringing me back to reality. "Seems like you've only been doing solo missions lately."

" _All_ of us have been doing solo missions," Xion reminded our blond friend. "I haven't been partnered with any of you guys in forever."

"Solo missions are more efficient," Axel informed us. "Instead of busying two members with the same mission, they just send one out on it and the other's free to go somewhere else."

"Well, obviously," Roxas responded. "But I like missions better when they're with you guys."

"Same," I agreed. "They always seem to go by faster. Even missions with Demyx or Xibgar aren't so bad. Um, not that I dislike solo missions or anything. I do fine on them!"

"Demyx? Seriously? Every time I get teamed up with him, he leaves me to do all the work," Roxas muttered. "He doesn't seem to like fighting much."

 _Here we go again,_ I groaned mentally. Complaining about Demyx behind his back. I shouldn't have said anything.

"Anyways," I said loudly, hoping to change the subject. "We should probably get back to the castle." Ironically, it was usually me who had to remind my friends that we still had to report back to Saïx, as much as I wanted to stay and talk with them for as long as possible.

After some mutters, sighs, and complaints from my friends, we headed back.

Of course, I wouldn't actually run away if I got assigned to Agrabah the following day. Although it would be tempting, I'd almost definitely get caught and turned into a Dusk or something. Plus, I couldn't leave my friends.

...Why did I keep getting sent there, anyway?

 **~Time-Skip~**

Thankfully, my mission the next day brought me to Beast's Castle, where I had been assigned a solo mission to collect hearts.

I was thrilled not to be in the hot desert. The slightly-chilly castle was a refreshing change.

The place was huge, but luckily I still mostly remembered the layout from the game. It was weird how identical things were to how they had been in 358/2 Days- almost everything was exactly the same. Not just the timeline, or the dialogue, but even tiny things like details of architecture and nature. How was that even possible? Then again, how was any of this possible?!

Just a few short months ago, I would've shook my head and sighed longingly if someone had told me that the universe of Kingdom Hearts actually existed. Now here I was, best friends (at least, I think we were best friends) with the Sea-Salt Trio, battling Heartless and wielding my very own Keyblade.

And okay, yes, I had joined Organization XIII even though I knew their true intentions. But everything would be okay, because Sora would stop them!

 _Right,_ a small voice whispered in my mind as I struggled to open the castle's heavy front door. _Sora will save countless worlds once he wakes up- once Roxas merges with him. Your friend will no longer exist, giving up everything to save a boy he doesn't even know. Are you really going to just sit back and let that happen?_

I shoved that thought into the back of my mind. I had to stay focused on my mission, and thinking about what would happen to my friends if I didn't change things would stress me out too much.

Who was I kidding, though? I was already stressed. My way of dealing with stress was to not deal with it, to hide it in the deepest part of my thoughts and act like everything was okay. It was surprisingly easy.

But some worries would still leak through, no matter how hard I tried to surpress them. My concern for my friends was one of them.

I shook my head in an attempt to clear my mind and stepped into the castle. It seemed empty, as usual, with its dim entryway of various blue and purple hues. I carefully closed the heavy door behind me, grunting as I struggled against the weight. Why did the doors have to be so heavy, anyway?!

I had only taken a few steps into the large hallway (or whatever the correct word was for it; it was a bit too large to be a hallway, in my opinion) when three Soldier Heartless spawned just in front of me.

And so my mission officially began.

Just because it wasn't 100+ degrees for once doesn't mean that my mission was easy, unfortunately. The Soldier Heartless were tricky to defeat, and Beast's Castle seemed to be full of them. Even worse were Bad Dogs, and there were plenty of those, I had a few potions with me, and even found a hi-potion in a treasure chest, although I decided to save it in case it was needed in the future. Knowing me, it most likely would be. I had struggled even with this fairly simple mission, much to my disappointment. Sure, I was definitely improving, but I wasn't nearly as skilled as I'd like to be yet. The ring I'd bought from the Moogle Shop didn't seem to have helped me at all.

After defeating at least 20 Heartless, I checked around the castle again to make sure I hadn't missed any. No more appeared, so I summoned a Dark Corridor and headed for the clock tower. My worries from earlier were now nearly completely forgotten, except for a tiny little whisper at the very back of my mind which I ignored. Worrying wouldn't help solve my problems! I needed to stay focused on the present.

As I exited the Corridor onto the top of the clock tower, I saw that my friends were already there, sitting on the ledge as usual.

"Hi guys!" I greeted them cheerfully as I sat down next to Xion.

"Hey Alexa," Axel replied after a bite of his half-eaten popsicle. "How'd your mission go?"

"Not too bad," I answered him with a shrug. "At least it was nice and cool at Beast's Castle. There were a lot of Bad Dogs, though. Those are so hard to defeat!"

Roxas nodded in agreement, although it seemed a bit absentminded. "Yeah..."

"So, Xion, what was it you were about to ask me before Alexa showed up?" Axel asked our dark-haired friend suddenly. The tone of his voice seemed almost suspicious, to my surprise.

"Um... It's nothing," Xion muttered quietly, avoiding Axel's gaze. I was curious as to what she wanted to ask, but I didn't want to pressure her.

"C'mon, we're friends. You can ask us anything," Roxas assured her, seeming to forget that her question was directed at Axel and not him. At least, that was the impression I had.

Our dark-haired friend hesitated. "Well... You've been to Castle Oblivion, right?"

I nervously stared out at the sunset, wondering if Axel would accidentally reveal something Xion shouldn't know yet. Then again, this was Axel. He was pretty good at knowing when to not give away classified information.

Our tall friend nodded. "Yep."

Xion hesitated again before asking, "What's it like?"

I glanced over at Axel, curious to see how he would respond. The redhead was frowning, staring off to the side. "Nothing special. The Organization uses it as a research facility."

"You get sent there a lot," Roxas pointed out. I thought he had been spacing out this whole time, so I was surprised by his comment.

"But I've never even been there..." Xion sighed, looking down at her ice cream as it melted. Drips of salty cream trailed down the stick, running onto her glove. She didn't seem to care.

"Neither have I," Roxas added to her statement. I agreed with a small nod, hoping the subject would be changed soon. My friends didn't need to find out about Castle Oblivion yet!

Or maybe... Maybe they did. If I sped up the events of the timeline, could that possibly help my friends? Or would I only ruin things beyond repair?

Axel shrugged. "They probably just don't need you there."

Roxas nodded in agreement and bit into his ice cream, but Xion didn't seem reassured. "Maybe," she muttered.

"C'mon, cheer up!" I told her, forcing a smile. "Who cares about some other castle? We already live at one, and sometimes have missions at another." It hurt to say that, but I couldn't stand seeing Xion so depressed!

Why was she sad, anyway? Had something happened? My fake smile morphed into a frown as I tried to remember the events of the timeline.

My false cheerfulness didn't seem to affect Xion. She continued to stare silently at her ice cream as it melted. Now it was dripping down her glove and onto the sleeve of her cloak. "Um, Xion, your ice cream's getting everywhere," I pointed out politely.

My dark haired friend only stood up in reply, startling me. I looked up to meet her gaze, but she was staring out into the distance, almost zombie-like. "I... I gotta go," she announced quietly, causing Roxas to blink in confusion.

I suddenly had this feeling that something bad was about to happen.

"Xion, sit down!" I warned my friend, nervous about the fact that I had this feeling of dread while she was standing on a small ledge at the edge of a very, very tall clock tower.

I had to do something.

I stood up, faster than I ever had before, so I was standing on the ledge next to Xion. The wind was so strong I was afraid I'd be carried away by the viscous breeze, and fear flooded into me as I struggled to keep my balance. I forced myself to keep my gaze locked onto my friend, all too aware of the town far below us. "Xion-"

I broke off in horror as my dark-haired friend winced, bringing her hands up to her head in pain. The now mostly-empty popsicle stick slipped from her fingers, landing on the ledge with a small clatter that seemed to echo loudly in the shocked silence of my friends and I. Everything was in slow-motion. I was frozen. I couldn't move, didn't know how to move. All my instincts were screaming at me to help Xion, but I was stuck. Why couldn't I move?! It was too quiet except for my breathing, which was so loud- too loud!

I was all too aware of Roxas's shocked face staring up toward us as Xion lost her footing and fell off the ledge-

And suddenly everything was fast again. I blinked, and Roxas was bending over the ledge, dangerously close to the edge- but his hand was firmly gripping Xion's arm.

My friend was safe.

I realized I was shaking as I thought about how close a call that had been. If Roxas hadn't managed to grab her arm-

I forced myself to stop thinking about that and carefully stepped off the ledge, rushing over to help Roxas pull Xion up. I doubt I made that much of a difference with my weak muscles. It wasn't until Axel reached over me and grabbed our dark-haired friend's other arm that we were finally able to pull her back up onto the solid concrete/stone/whatever the clock tower was made of. Xion's eyes were wide and her face was pale as she stood up shakily, leaning on our blond friend for support.

"Are... Are you okay?" I asked her, breaking the shocked silence that had settled over us.

"Maybe you need to rest," Roxas added, looking concerned. The four us of were standing well away from the edge of the tower, my back brushing up against the wall in the center.

Our dark-haired friend shook her head, avoiding meeting any of our gazes. "No, it's nothing like that..."

The silence returned.

I remembered this scene from the game now, I realized suddenly. Back home, when I used to play 358/2 Days on my 3DS, I would worry that someone was going to fall off the clock tower every time the Sea-Salt Trio met up there. Day 224, my fear came true, to my complete surprise. I remembered gasping in shock as I watched the CGI Xion fall on the screen. It had been much more scary seeing it happen in real life.

And I had froze. I'd simply watched, unable to do anything. Why?! Why had my bravery suddenly abandoned me just when my friend needed me the most?

I was so upset with myself.

"I've got it!" Axel's voice suddenly broke through the silence, startling me. I looked over at him, surprised to see a triumphant grin on his face.

"Got what?" I asked in confusion.

"Let's head to the beach next time we get a day off."

His simple suggestion triggered a flood of emotions (so much for not being able to feel, huh?) to rush through me. My friends and I never would get another day off if the timeline continued to follow the events of the game. We'd never get to go to the beach. Roxas would never know the feeling of sand under his feet or the salty taste of the ocean. The thought made me want to cry, yet no tears formed.

"The beach?" Xion questioned, surprised. "Where did that come from?"

Axel rubbed the back of his head, embarrassed. "What, don't you wanna go someplace different for a change?

"You mean, just the four of us? Going to the beach?" Roxas asked, a small smile beginning to form.

"Exactly," Axel confirmed with a nod.

Xion frowned and looked away. "I'll join you... if I can."

"Of course you can, Xion!" Roxas told her warmly.

"Yeah, why wouldn't you be able to? You're our friend, after all," I assured her.

Our dark-haired friend hesitated. "Well... Okay, sure. Let's do it," she finally agreed with a smile.

"It's settled, then!" I announced, a plan beginning to form in my mind. It was risky, but I believed it would be worth it.

I was going to try to make it so my friends actually got their trip to the beach. They more than deserved it. And even if I couldn't get them a happy ending, at least they'd have that much. I had to do something for them. They were so nice, so supportive. I really didn't deserve their friendship.

Then again, I didn't really deserve having my dream of visiting the Kingdom Hearts universe come true, yet it had.

Maybe it wasn't about whether you deserved things or not. Maybe it was simply fate. What really determined if you deserved something, anyway? And who decided?

But... I don't know. I suddenly started to second-guess my idea. Would it be too risky? As badly as I wanted a happy ending for my friends, abandoning the timeline was stepping out of my comfort zone. I mean, obviously fighting and heights and other things I'd done in this world were not in my comfort zone, but still... It was reassuring to know exactly what would happen, and when. Back home, I never got that opportunity. If I had, I would have done a lot of things differently.

I obviously would have to abandon the canon timeline at some point. Would I ever be ready?

Ugh! Why was I so bad at making decisions? _Just make your mind up and go with it!_ I scolded myself.

"Alexa? Alexa?! Are you coming?" Roxas's voice surprised me, jolting me out of my thoughts. A Dark Corridor swirled in front of him, and our other friends were nowhere to be seen. They must have just left.

"Yes, sorry!" I replied, stepping into the dark portal. We walked through the shadowy corridor in silence.

We'd come too close to disaster today, when Xion fell from the clock tower. I was still upset with myself for freezing. I didn't want to be useless! I wanted to help!

"I'm sorry," I told Roxas suddenly, shattering the silence.

"Huh?" My blond friend glanced over at me with a confused expression. "Sorry for what?"

"The clock tower. When Xion fell, I just- I couldn't react in time. I felt frozen." I avoided meeting his gaze, ashamed. "If you hadn't managed to grab her arm-" I shook my head. "I wish I was as quick-thinking as you. I'm sorry I couldn't do anything.

"Alexa- That's not your fault! Stop blaming yourself for everything!" Roxas scolded. "Seriously, you say 'sorry' way too much. Unless you purposefully pushed Xion off the tower-" I opened my mouth to object to this, but he quickly cut me off. "which I know you didn't- you don't have anything to apologize for. Freezing up under pressure is normal... I think."

I blinked in shock at Roxas's statement. I wasn't expecting him to be so understanding. While I knew he wasn't really mad, I thought he would at least be disappointed that I had seemingly done nothing to save our friend.

"I'm sor-" I broke off as remembered Roxas's comment from a few moments before. "I mean, um, thanks for not being mad."

My friend simply shrugged in reply. We had almost reached the castle by then. "I'm worried about Xion," he muttered quietly. "She keeps insisting she's fine, but obviously something isn't right. Have you noticed?"

I nodded. "...Yeah. I mean, it's kind of hard to not notice almost falling off the top of a clock tower."

"Right," Roxas sighed. "What is with her?! Why won't she tell me anything?"

Guilt washed over me as I shrugged. I couldn't tell Roxas anything, as much as my conscience was urging me too.

As we exited the Corridor into the hallway of the castle, I realized we hadn't seen Axel or Xion in the shadowy passage. "Um, where'd the others go?" I asked, wondering how long I'd been spacing out back on top of the clock tower.

"We had entered the Dark Corridor when we noticed you weren't with us, so I came back," Roxas explained. "Speaking of people being okay... Are you okay? You space out an awful lot..."

I blushed, embarrassed. I needed to stop doing that! Spacing out, I mean. "I'm fine, thanks," I assured my friend as I turned to head back to my room. "And thanks for coming back for me. See you tomorrow, clock tower as usual?" I glanced back over toward Roxas and smiled.

My friend nodded, offering me a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Yeah. See ya."

I held back a sigh as I walked toward my room. Poor Roxas, poor Xion, poor everyone. Why was life always so difficult, no matter where I went? It seemed like everyone had problems. No one's life was perfect.

As I opened the door to my room, I finally allowed the sigh to escape. At least I knew what day it was, now. Day 224.

224\. That meant there were only about four months left until the events at the end of the game. Doomsday was coming closer and closer.

And yet... Four months. That was plenty of time. It was practically all the time in the world, right? Surely I could come up with a plan by then.

I felt some of my stress melt away as I stepped into my room, closing the door behind me. My diary would be waiting for me in its hiding place under the bed, and I had a lot to tell it. I bent down, reaching under the bed toward where I knew it would be... But my fingers only grasped empty air.

Huh?

Confused, I peered under the bed, looking for the small purple book. There it was, pushed further back than usual. I strained to grab it, wondering how it had ended up so far back. Usually I gently slid it into its hiding place, just far back enough so it wasn't noticeable, but still easy enough to grab when I wanted it. So why...?

I started to grow nervous as I flipped through the pages. No one had broken into my room and read my journal, right? I desperately hoped so. I had written so many things that, in the wrong hands, could lead to disaster.

I felt my hopes sink as I noticed a few bent corners of pages. I was always very careful with my book, making sure to never damage a single edge.

Which could only mean one thing.

 _Someone had read my diary._

 **Author's Note:**

 **I just realized this chapter is like 95% dialogue, oops. Guess I'll have to write more missions next chapter.**

 **Anyways, what'd you think? Please let me know in a review! Thanks for reading!**


	20. Chapter 20: Suspicion

**Author's Note:**

 **I was hoping to have this chapter done sooner, but hey, at least it's done exactly a week after I posted the last chapter!**

 **I'm not super proud of this chapter, but hopefully it's still okay. I had thought it looked so long and impressive but apparently it's under 3,400** **words, which is really short for this story. Oh well. Hope y'all don't mind the shorter length!**

 **Guess what? This story has reached 6,000 views and 100 reviews! I can't thank y'all enough, you are amazing! Special mention to Antex- The Legendary Zoroark for being the 100th reviewer, and for continuing to review every chapter since chapter five! Seriously, reviews mean so much to me. A huge thank you to everyone who takes the time to leave feedback! :)**

 **Hope y'all like this chapter- chapter twenty! I can't believe this story already has twenty chapters. The end is coming closer and closer, and it makes me sad. :( Don't worry though, we've still got a while before the final chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the direct quotes from the game used in this fanfiction.**

 **Chapter Twenty: Suspicion**

I stared at the small purple book in my hands in complete shock, starting to shake as realisation fully set in.

 _Someone had broken into my room and read my journal._

All of my deepest thoughts and worries, my hopes and dreams, and so much more was contained in that little diary. As if that wasn't bad enough, I had written about some future events and their outcome. Whoever had read my journal knew way more than they should.

This was not good. _Not good not good not good!_ I felt myself start to panic, my hands trembling as I thought of all the disasters this could cause. Who had read it, anyway?

I sat down on my bed, holding on to the small book in my hands like my life depended on it. I had to stop stressing out. I needed to act, to figure out what to do. And fast. I had caused this mess, so I had to fix it.

First things first, I thought as I carefully opened the book with my shaking hands. _What exactly had I written about?_

I tore a page from near the back of my journal and slid the pen out from where it was clipped to a page. I then read through my diary carefully, writing down every future event I mentioned onto the paper:

\- **The fact that I knew Axel's original name**

 **\- Roxas and Xion's fates**

 **\- The events of Castle Oblivion (while that wasn't exactly something that happened in the future, I still wasn't supposed to know about it)**

 **\- That I'm from a different world and that I've played the Kingdom Hearts games (well, just Days actually, but still)**

And the list went on and on.

I stopped writing after a while, my panic growing so intense I felt sick. Someone here, from this world, knew all these things they shouldn't. Whoever had read my diary knew all the things I had so carefully kept quiet. How could I have been so stupid as to write them down?! Of course Saïx had been lying. Of course anyone could break into my room and read my journal. It had probably been Number Seven himself!

I groaned, resting my head in my hands. Nothing would be the same from this point on. The timeline was probably completely destroyed. If a member of Organization XIII knew some of the future events of the canon timeline, then it would most likely lead to disaster.

And it was all my fault.

 _I should never have believed I could pull this off,_ I thought miserably. _Every bad thing that whoever read my journal does will be my fault!_

Guilt. Fear. Despair. So many emotions that I felt so strongly at that moment. So much for not having a heart. I wanted to cry, but no tears fell.

 _Enough moping,_ I scolded myself after a few minutes of stressing out. _I need to figure out who did this._

I picked up my sheet of paper, turned it over, and made a new list on the other side:

 **Suspects**

 **Saïx**

The blue-haired man was my top guess as to who had read my journal. After all, he had given it to me. Plus I just generally didn't like him, and that's not very common for me. I don't think he liked me very much, either. Unfortunately, he was also the most dangerous person to have the information contained in my diary.

 **Xigbar?**

I couldn't image him sneaking into my room, but he was still a suspect.

 **Demyx...?**

Honestly, if Demyx turned out to be the culprit, I would be kind of relieved. Surely he wouldn't do anything too bad with the information I had written down. Why would he have read my diary, though? He wasn't one of my top suspects.

 **Xemnas?!**

I tapped the pen against the paper as I considered the name I had just written down. I had only seen the Organization's leader once since my arrival in this world, and that was when he introduced me formally as Number Fifteen. If he had read my journal... I shuddered at the thought. That would be just as bad as if Saïx had, if not worse!

I couldn't think of any more names to write down. Obviously none of my friends had done it, because they had been at the clock tower with me, plus they just would never do that. I trusted them.

But... Wait a second. I had been out of my room all day. There was plenty of time for someone, anyone, to sneak in and read. _Even one of my friends,_ I thought with a sinking feeling. I refused to add any of their names to the suspect list, however. They were my friends!

Although... Axel seemed slightly suspicious of me. Could he have read my diary? _Of course not!_ I told myself firmly. Saïx was the likely culprit.

I sighed, carefully folding the list of suspects in half before placing it in the pocket of my cloak. It had been a long day, and worrying now wasn't going to help anything. I'd have to be extra-observant tomorrow, on the lookout for any sign of who had read my diary.

 **~Time-Skip~**

The Grey Area was mostly empty as usual when I walked in the following morning. In fact, at first glance I thought Saïx was the only other person in the room besides me until I noticed the soft strumming sounds coming from the couch to my left. Demyx was quietly playing his sitar, not even bothering to look up as I entered the room... _or maybe he was avoiding eye contact because he was the one who read my diary?_ I dismissed that accusative thought with a shake of my head.

I had an odd feeling all of a sudden... like someone was glaring at me so hard I could actually feel it. I turned around and was surprised to notice Xion sitting in a chair facing the large window, staring down at her hands. Her hair fell down to hide her face, but the slump of her shoulders suggested she was upset.

Leaning against the window a few feet away from my dark-haired friend was Axel, avoiding my gaze. His arms were crossed as he stared intently at the wall opposite him.

That was weird.

I began walking over to Xion to see if she was okay when Saïx's voice stopped me. "Alexa, today your mission is heart collection at the Olympus Coliseum."

"Yes, sir," I responded, turning to face the blue-haired man for a moment before resuming my walk toward Xion.

"Are you okay?" I asked my friend once I reached her, concerned.

She didn't reply, acting as if she hadn't heard me. That worried me even more. I glanced over at Axel, surprised to meet his piercing mint-green eyes. He seemed to have been studying me suspiciously, guessing from the way his eyes were slightly narrowed. He held my gaze for only a second or so before glancing away.

Ookkaaayyy... Something was definitely up.

Worry began to rise inside of me, so strong that I knew panic would soon follow. Was Axel looking at me so suspiciously because he had read my journal? _No! Of course not! He wouldn't do that!_

 _...Would he?!_

"Alexa." Saïx's firm voice startled me so much I jumped in surprise, feeling my face redden as I turned to face the blue-haired man. "You have a mission to attend to."

"R-Right," I replied, glancing back toward my friends who were both still ignoring my presence. Now I was getting a sinking feeling. Had Axel been the one to read my diary? Would he really do that?! Or... maybe Xion had? I shook my head angrily, upset with myself for suspecting my friends. Despite the fact that Saïx was acting completely normal, he was still my top suspect.

I held out my left hand, summoning a Dark Corridor. As much as I wanted to find out why my friends were acting so weird, I had a mission to take care of. I'd have to talk to them at the clock tower later.

 **~Time-Skip~**

I had been at the Coliseum before, but every time I saw it I was still impressed by the huge building, with its giant golden statues of fighting warriors towering over the doors. I felt bad for those poor figures, forever locked in combat with no hope of escape. Their swords clashed together, with no clear sign of who was winning.

The walls that surrounded the small area outside the arena were impressive too, as well as the view through the small gaps- nothing but sky and clouds as far as I could see. It was amazing, although I felt dizzy and sick when I looked down.

But yet... there was something about the place that made me uneasy. It was like some weird feeling hung in the air, clinging on to me as I entered the world. Maybe it was the edge of competition, or the bitter taste of defeat, left behind by warriors who had fought or trained here in the past.

As I exited the Dark Corridor just outside the Coliseum's large doors, I quickly scanned the area for Heartless. A Lil' Cannon lurked in a corner near the leaderboards, with two Flare Notes nearby. With a small flash of light, Kingdom of Broken Hearts appeared in my hand. All of my worries over who had read my diary melted away as I lunged toward the Heartless, focusing on the battle ahead.

I aimed an attack at one of the Flare Notes first, hitting it repeatedly with my Keyblade before it disappeared, the hearts it left behind vanishing into my weapon. The Lil' Cannon fired, and I quickly blocked the fireball with my Keyblade. It dissolved as soon it made contact with the metal, leaving my weapon feeling warmer than usual. I lunged toward the small blue Heartless and managed to hit it twice before it hopped out of my reach, shooting another fireball which I dodged just in time. The remaining Flare Note hopped up into the air and began letting out an annoying high melody, starting to glow as it healed itself. "Oh no you don't!" I yelled, running toward it. I jumped up and hit the Heartless with my Keyblade, knocking it out of the air onto the hard ground.

Unfortunately, I lost my balance and came crashing down onto the ground next to the Flare note, my weapon slipping from my grasp and landing a few feet away from me. I winced at the pain in my poor knees as I scrambled up to my feet, running over to pick up my Keyblade. As soon as it was in my hand again, the Lil' Cannon fired another shot that I just barely blocked in time. I glanced between the two Heartless, unsure which one to attack first. The Cannon was closer, so I quickly lunged toward it, defeating it after a few hits. I then attacked the Flare Note, which proved to be a more challenging enemy.

Once that small group of Heartless had been taken care of, I paused for a moment to catch my breath. I didn't have a long break, however, as two more Lil' Cannons and three Flare Notes appeared a few feet away from me. My mission wasn't nearly over yet. In fact, it was just beginning.

 **~Short Time-Skip~**

I dismissed my weapon after going over the area three times to make sure all the Heartless had been defeated. "Finally!" I exclaimed, taking a potion out of my cloak's pocket and gulping it down. I wasn't quite as tired as usual, I noted proudly. Was I getting stronger?

I glanced over my shoulder at the big blue leaderboards behind me, my eyes hovering on the name at the top.

 **FIRST PLACE- SORA**

 _Sora._ He was the main character of Kingdom Hearts, the video game series I loved so much, and yet I barely knew anything about him. I'd only played 358/2 Days, so everything I knew about the series was from that game, plus some research online. I knew much more about Roxas than I did the brown-haired teenager. Didn't Sora save multiple worlds? In fact, I think the one I was in just then was one of the many he had helped protect. And this kid was my age! I looked like such a nobody compared to him. Well, I mean, I _was_ a Nobody... But what I really mean is, he had done so much to help others, even though he most definitely had his own problems. He was pretty awesome, and seemed really nice, too, at least from what little I knew about him.

But still... Did Roxas really have to give everything up to save him? It didn't seem fair. He didn't even know him, and yet...

I shook my head, tearing my gaze from the large letters printed on the sign. _I should RTC,_ I reminded myself. I still had to figure out why my friends had been acting so weird earlier. Maybe Roxas knew what was up with them.

I held out my left hand and summoned a Dark Corridor, stepping into the shadows to head to the clock tower.

When I arrived, the ledge was empty except for Roxas. My blond friend was quietly eating his ice cream and watching the sunset, seeming unaware of my presence. He glanced over, startled, as I sat down to his left, then looked back toward the brightly colored sky. "Hey, Alexa," he greeted. He didn't seem unhappy, but yet he wasn't exactly joyful, either. He appeared to be somewhere in-between the two.

"Hi," I greeted in return with a smile. "How'd your mission go today?"

"Not bad, I guess. I was sent to Halloween Town to defeat a Carrier Ghost. I ran into this weird thing, too. It was like a black tentacle coming out of the ground, with a huge claw-like mouth," my friend replied, taking a bite from his ice cream.

 _Tentaclaw,_ I thought. I still remembered those creatures clearly from the Leechgrave battle in 358/2 Days. That boss fight had taken me more than a week to complete, and Leechgrave was number two on my list of least-favorite Heartless.

Wait a minute... if a Tentaclaw had appeared, the Leechgrave must be appearing soon. I couldn't hold back my shudder at the thought of having to fight the horrible Heartless boss in real life. I mean, this real life, not real life back home. Even the thought of Roxas fighting it made me nervous. What if... what if something happened to him?

I forced myself to stop thinking about that horrible scenario and focus on the present.

"That sounds scary," I told Roxas.

He frowned and gave a small shrug. "It wasn't too hard to defeat. It didn't really defend itself, just focused on offense. All I had to do was hit it really fast. It didn't release any hearts though, just disappeared into dark mist."

"That's good, at least," I responded, trying to imagine what a Tentaclaw would look like in real life. The mental picture I created caused my eyes to widen in fear and I quickly shook my head, the image dissolving.

Roxas didn't notice, as he was gazing out at the setting sun. "Xion just left before you got here," he muttered. "It was so weird. She showed up and stayed for only a few seconds before leaving. It was like she didn't even plan to stay, but still came. I wonder if I did something to upset her..."

"I'm sure you didn't do anything!" I assured my friend. "Xion seems kind of down today, for some reason."

"But why? Is she sick or something?" Roxas wondered, to which I could only shrug in reply.

"She'll probably be back to her normal self soon," I told him cheerfully, although I wondered if I was lying without knowing it. Would Xion ever cheer up?

Roxas simply sighed in reply and bit the last bite of ice cream off the stick in his hand. "Maybe she'll cheer up when we get another vacation. I hope we get one soon. We could all use that trip to the beach."

I felt my throat tighten as his statement. "Yeah," I managed to agree, almost choking on the simple word.

Silence settled over us then, not unpleasant or awkward, but a nice, thoughtful silence. Well, mostly nice. I had begun to worry over who had read my diary again. Maybe it was Xion. That could explain why she was so upset- I knew I had mentioned her past and future in my journal. It would be horrible if she knew her canon destiny!

I was jolted out of my thoughts as Roxas suddenly stood up. "I'm gonna head back," he announced, stepping off the ledge and summoning a Dark Corridor. "You coming?"

I nodded, carefully getting up from the ledge and following my blond friend into the shadowy portal. We walked through it in silence, only speaking once we had exited the darkness. "See you tomorrow," I told Roxas cheerfully as I turned to head back to my room.

"See you," Roxas agreed. "Hey, do you know where Axel is? I haven't seen him today."

I shook my head. "No, sorry. He's probably still on his mission or something."

"Yeah," my friend agreed. "Anyways, see ya."

As I walked back to my room, I wondered about where exactly Axel was. Most likely he was still on his mission, but what if he wasn't? What if he had read my journal and was plotting how to use the information-

 _No! Stop!_ I yelled mentally, shocked I had even thought that. Why was I suspecting my friends?! I wasn't proud of how I was now constantly worrying about any of the people in the Organization using what I had written in my dairy for evil. I was most likely just being paranoid... right? I mean, it wasn't like I had the best handwriting in the world. If I was lucky (which I didn't think I was, but you never know, right?), whoever had read my journal couldn't even read my sloppy entries.

But somehow I didn't think that was too likely. My handwriting wasn't _that_ horrible, after all.

Huh, for the first time in my life I was actually wishing I had awful handwriting.

After I entered my room, I immediately checked my dairy to make sure it was in the same spot as before, with no new bent pages. It was, and there weren't, at least none that I noticed. I had decided not to write in it anymore, since it apparently was no longer private. Had it ever been? Maybe my journal had been read since the very beginning, and I had only just noticed. I didn't think that was the case, though.

With no way to record my thoughts, I simply sat on my bed and stared out the window. _So many stars,_ I thought as I gazed out into the darkness beyond the glass. _More than I could ever count. More than anyone could ever count. And I'm just one small person in this huge, vast universe. What can I possibly do to help my friends get a happy ending?_

I sighed, hoping an idea would come to me tomorrow. Or soon, at least.

It was Day 225. Time was slowly but surely running out. I had to do something. At least I still had four more months to come up with a plan. All the time in the world... Right?

With that thought, I laid down and fell asleep. Tomorrow was a new day, another chance. I just had to find a way to save my friends!

If only I knew then what lay just ahead...

 **Author's Note:**

 **Sorry about the ending! I couldn't find a good place to leave it off, so I went for a kind of vague cliffhanger. So, what'd you think of this chapter? I'd really appreciate it if you left a review letting me know! Thank you so much for reading! :)**


	21. Chapter 21: Why the Sun Sets Red

**Author's Note:**

 **I can't believe I wrote this chapter so fast! I honestly thought it'd be another week before it was posted.**

 **I really hope y'all like this chapter! A _lot_ happens. **

**I can't believe how many awesome reviews I got last chapter! Thank y'all so much! A special thank you to my guest reviewers last chapter; your reviews made me so happy! :D I may start replying to guest reviews at the end of chapters, since I can't PM guests.**

 **Anyways, here's chapter 21!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the direct quotes from the game used in this fanfiction.**

 **Chapter Twenty-One: Why the Sun Se** **ts** **Red**

 _Day 226. Day 227. Day 228. 229. 230. 231. 232. 233. 235._

 _240._

 _245._

 _250._

The days went by almost faster than I could count, blurring together in my memory until I could barely remember one from the other. Every day involved the same routine of doing whatever mission I was assigned and then heading up the clock tower in the hopes my friends would be there.

Unfortunately, my missions for the past three weeks were long challenging ones, and by the time I arrived at the clock tower my friends had already left. Sometimes I saw them in the Grey Area before I left on my mission, but we never got the chance to talk much. Xion wasn't acting so weirdly quiet anymore, but Axel was still distant. He would barely even acknowledge me anymore. I tried not to let it bother me, but it made me a bit nervous. Had I done something wrong?

By day 253, I still had no idea who had read my diary. It couldn't be Xion or Axel, I had decided. Friends don't break into their friend's rooms and read their journals! So then... who was it?

I let out a sigh as I entered the Grey Area, glancing around to see who was there. Demyx was on a sofa as usual, playing that same familiar-sounding song he often softly strummed on his sitar. Sitting near him was Luxord, with Axel standing by the window at the opposite side of the room. The tall redhead didn't even glance over as I entered the room, although he must have heard me sigh. I had started to walk toward him out of habit, but now I stopped. Why was Axel ignoring me?

"Hey, Alexa!" Roxas's cheery greeting from behind startled me, my Keyblade appearing in my hand by itself. As I turned to face my blond friend, I could feel my face growing hot in embarrassment. I get scared way too easily.

"Hi! Sorry, you startled me," I apologized, dismissing my weapon. "Guess that's what I get for spacing out."

"Roxas, today your mission is heart collection in Agrabah," Saïx informed my friend from his usual spot by the window. I gave Roxas a sympathetic glance- he hated the heat of the desert as much as I did. The blue-haired man continued, "Alexa, you and Axel will take care of Heartless at Beast's Castle."

Now the redhead finally glanced over at me, his expression blank and unreadable. "Let me know when you're ready to go," he told me, a cool tone to his voice that matched his icy eyes.

I noticed Roxas's confused expression as he glanced between Axel and me. "Did something-"

He broke off as our tall friend summoned a Dark Corridor and stepped through, not bothering to wait for me. His mouth hung open slightly in surprise as he watched Axel leave. "Wow," he finally muttered. "Alexa, what did you do to upset Axel that much?"

"I didn't do anything!" I protested, fear rising up inside of me. Axel didn't... He hadn't... _He wouldn't have read my diary, would he?!_ It was the only reason I could think of for my tall friend to be mad at me. Although, he didn't really seem mad, exactly... but still, he sure didn't seem happy.

I groaned, summoning a Corridor of my own to follow Axel. "See you later," I told Roxas with a forced smile before I stepped into the shadows. Here in the darkness my fears seemed to multiply as I hurried toward Beast's Castle, trying to ignore the worrying thoughts whispering inside my mind. It was a relief when I finally stepped out into the dim light of the castle.

As the Corridor closed behind me, I glanced around for Axel. Where had he gone? I was in the entranceway, facing the large staircase. He should have been here waiting for me. So where...?

"There you are, Alexa. Glad to see you finally showed up."

I was so nervous and on edge that I froze in terror at the sound of the voice behind me. I knew it was Axel's voice, but it barely sounded like him. It was too cold, too soft. It was almost creepy.

I finally forced myself to slowly turn toward the tall redhead, suddenly noticing Kingdom of Broken Hearts was gripped firmly in my hand. When had it appeared? I dismissed it, turning around fully so I now faced Axel.

His expression was still mostly blank, except for his eyes. They shone with a suspicious glint, as if he didn't trust whatever he was looking at.

Which, at that moment, was me.

And then I _knew._

"Oh, no..." I whispered, the words slipping out on their own before my brain could stop them. "You read it. You actually read it." I felt sick as the realization slowly sunk in.

Axel didn't say anything, but I thought I saw his eyes flash with... Guilt? Anger? I couldn't tell. He held my gaze for a few horrible seconds that seemed to last for years before finally looking away and walking past me. "We have a mission to do," he stated coolly, pausing at the bottom of the stairs.

I didn't respond, still shocked. Out of all the Organization members, Axel was one of the three people I trusted to not have read my journal- because he was my _friend._ In fact, I considered him a best friend. I trusted him to have my back, and I, of course, would have his.

But now...

"Well? Are you coming?" Axel's voice rang sharply through the large entrance hall, jolting me out of my thoughts. I answered him with a nod, following as he started climbing up the stairs. I still felt shocked and betrayed and... hurt. It didn't even occur to me then how horrible this was for the canon timeline. All I could think was that my friend had betrayed me.

Why? What had I done to deserve this?!

I was barely aware of my surroundings as I followed Axel through the castle's hallways. I must have looked like a zombie with my blank expression as I stumbled along on autopilot.

I should have known it was him. He had always seemed slightly suspicious of me, since the very beginning. I winced as I remembered how he had threateningly summoned his weapons in the "usual spot" under the tracks when we were searching for Xion. His hands were empty now, to my relief. He wasn't going to attack me or anything. Not that I really thought he would, anyway. We were friends, right...?

Axel stopped suddenly, causing me to almost crash into him. A small group of Heartless had appeared a few feet in front of us: two Bad Dogs and three Soldiers. Without any warning, Axel summoned his weapons and lunged toward the Heartless, defeating them incredibly fast. I snapped out of my shock and summoned my Keyblade, rushing to help Axel. No sooner had all the Heartless been defeated than Axel kept walking, not even pausing to catch his breath. I hurried to catch up to him, already tired. I had a feeling it was going to be a long mission.

It wasn't, actually. It was one of the fastest missions I've ever been on. Axel seemed stronger than usual, or maybe I was just hyperaware of it due to my fear. Not that I was afraid of my friend!

...Well, okay, I was. But only because I knew what he was like when he was angry, at least in the video games. Hopefully he wouldn't be that mad at me.

Although, he certainly had every reason to. I knew the future, had knowledge of what would happen to him and his friends. If, back home, one of my best friends revealed to me that they were actually from another world and knew what the future held in store for me, I'd probably be shocked and... a little upset. I mean, wouldn't you be?

By the time our mission was over, even Axel seemed slightly tired. I was exhausted and out-of-breath, wanting nothing more than to head back to the castle and fall asleep. But I couldn't.

I turned toward Axel as he was about to leave through a Dark Corridor. "So it's true, isn't it? You're the one who read my diary." I tried to appear bold, but my voice shook despite my efforts.

The tall redhead paused. "You shouldn't freely write about all your secrets," he finally replied after a few scary moments of silence. His weapons were still tightly gripped in his hands as he continued, "Especially when those secrets can be danergous in the wrong hands. I'd destroy that book before Saïx decides to snoop in it."

"Why... Why did you read it?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. "I thought we were friends."

Axel didn't say anything. He took a step forward into the Corridor, disappearing in the darkness.

I stood there, staring at where Axel had been, for a few seconds. So many emotions were swirling inside me, yet I felt so empty. I didn't know what to do.

My vision started to blur, and I reached up to wipe my eyes. They felt... wet. Was I... Was I crying? It had been so long since I had last cried, it didn't seem natural anymore. It was _weird._ I blinked away the water forming in my eyes and held out my left hand. I couldn't just let Axel walk away, I had to go after him! I had to explain, to make him understand!

I stepped through the Corridor as it appeared, then broke into a run as I attempted to catch up with Axel. I saw a tall figure in the shadows up ahead and yelled my friend's name. "AXEL!"

To my relief, he stopped and turned around. His weapons were gone, and he crossed his arms as his cold mint eyes met my gaze. "Yeah?" he asked, no suspicion or hostility in the simple word.

I nervously swallowed, suddenly unsure what to say. "I... I'm sorry," I blurted out finally. "I'm so, so sorry. I kept a huge secret from you, and I know that's not what friends do but you have to understand! I couldn't tell anyone, not even you, or Roxas, or Xion. Knowing the future, it's... it's scary. All this stuff's gonna happen, so many things that hurt to think about, and I can't do anything to change it without consequences. I know I'm a terrible person or Nobody or whatever the heck I am for not telling you, but please-"

I broke off as Axel held up his hands. "I get it. I get why you didn't tell anyone. That is, if you're telling the truth. Y'know, your first few days in the Organization... Every time you lied, your eyes would lose their brightness for a moment." He smirked, letting out a small joyless laugh that startled me. "It was almost like, I dunno, fibbing hurt you or something. So I trusted you. But now..." He frowned, his eyes serious. "I can't tell when you're telling falsehoods or truth."

Guilt and shame rose up within me, causing my face to grow hot. I hoped Axel couldn't tell in the darkness. "I'm telling the truth, I swear. But I understand if you don't believe me." I lowered my head, unable to meet the tall redhead's gaze any longer. I couldn't stand the look in his eyes, gleaming through the shadows surrounding us. "I just... I don't want you to hate me. I want for us to have as many sunsets on the clock tower as possible. Even if I can't figure out a way to save Roxas and Xion, I want them to both have mostly happy memories. I want us all to get along and be best friends. I want..." I trailed off into a sigh, feeling tears fall from my eyes and slide down my face. In the dim light, Axel wouldn't be able to see them, so I didn't bother to wipe them away. It felt almost good to cry. "I'm so sorry," I whispered again, my throat tight. "I've messed everything up and I am so, so sorry!" By that point, I wasn't even sure who I was apologizing to anymore- Axel or the universe.

I didn't dare to look up at Axel during the several silent moments that followed. I could only desperately hope he would forgive me. If he didn't... what would I do? Leave the Organization? Or stay and just try to avoid Axel? What if... what if Axel told Saïx or Roxas or even Xion about what he had read in my journal? I had messed up big time by writing everything down. If only I could go back in time and fix things!

"Alexa, what do you really want?"

"Huh?" I was surprised by Axel's sudden question. "What do you mean?" I finally looked up, meeting Axel's gaze. To my relief, it wasn't quite as hostile anymore. He seemed to be observing me, trying to decide something.

"All you mentioned wanting was a way to save Roxas and Xion. What does that get you?"

I frowned. "I don't know. Relief, I guess? I just don't want anything bad to happen to anyone!"

Axel rolled his eyes. "No one's that selfless. What's your real motive?"

I thought for a moment, confused. _Motive? Did I have a motive?_ "I..." I stopped, suddenly realizing something. "You're right. I guess I do have a motive. I guess I feel like I sort of... owe you guys. Your game- the game you're in- it means so much to me. I played it a lot to deal with stress and stuff, and it's helped me through some hard times. So... I guess it's my turn to help you." I could feel my face reddening as I admitted to Axel what I hadn't even been able to admit to myself. "I know it's stupid, but... you guys have always meant a lot to me, even before I knew you were real. Oh gosh, why am I even telling you all this?" I groaned and looked away, already regretting what I had just said. But it was too late to take it back.

"You owe us, huh?" Axel muttered, sighing. "Some way to pay back your debt, keeping secrets from us. But then again, we all have secrets, right? I've kept quite a few from you, I'll admit. So I guess we're about even."

I looked up, surprised. "You mean... you're not mad?"

"Mad? Nah," he responded with a shrug. "You had your reasons to keep things secret. I was suspicious of you at first, sure. You seemed to know much more than you should. That's why I read your journal. But now.." His eyes narrowed. "We need to talk about what you know."

"Um... I shouldn't..."

"I already know so much, what'll it hurt if I know more? Besides, you want to save Roxas right? I can help."

I blinked in surprise. Axel wasn't mad? He wanted to help? Should I be suspicious... or grateful?

"Y-You'll help?" I stuttered, not sure what to think.

"'Course. What are friends for?

"Th-thank you," I told him gratefully, relieved we were friends again.

"Don't mention it. Anyways, we should probably get out of the Corridor. Not really the best spot to stand around and talk for so long. See ya around."

"Wait, I thought you wanted to talk more?"

"I gotta head back, but we should come up with a plan soon. Meet me here tomorrow, after our missions?"

I nodded. "O-okay."

We headed back toward the castle, silent except for the mess of thoughts inside my head. Axel knew my secret. He had known for awhile, yet hadn't said anything. Why?

Just as we were about to exit the corridor, I thought of a very important question I needed to ask Axel. "You haven't... You haven't told anyone else about this, have you?"

To my relief, he shook his head. "I'm not stupid."

"Thanks," I told him with a smile.

Axel exited the Corridor and just as I was about to follow, I noticed a movement out of the corner of my eye. Was that a flash of silver? I turned towards it, but whatever it was had vanished into the shadows, if there ever even was anything there. I shrugged and left the Corridor, heading down the hall toward my room.

 _It's weird,_ I thought as I stepped inside my room and was greeted by the stars outside the window. _Axel knows so many things he shouldn't about the future, yet I'm not really nervous or panicking. In fact, I'm kind of relieved. Is it bad that I'm sort of glad to finally share my secret with someone? And who knows, maybe Axel will come up with a plan to save Roxas and Xion._

It's weird how quickly you can go from despair to hope.

 **~Time-Skip~**

I waited for Axel in the Dark Corridor after my mission the next day, but he never came. I was so worried something had happened to him that I actually gathered the courage to ask Saïx about it the following morning.

"He's been sent on a special mission," was all the blue-haired man would say. I wondered what that meant. Castle Oblivion, maybe?

I had completed my mission for the day and was now sitting on top of the clock tower, all alone. I had high hopes my friends would show up. After all, it was Day 255. I felt like something important had happened on that day in the video game, although I couldn't remember what.

Usually the sunset didn't seem nearly as beautiful without my friends there with me, but on that day it glowed like never before. The sky was painted in various shades of red and gold, with a few puffy clouds floating slowly by. It was practically the prettiest sunset I'd ever seen.

"Alexa! Wow, you're here really early!"

I grinned as I turned toward Roxas, who was walking up behind me. "Maybe you're just late," I teased him. "Look at the sunset. Isn't it amazing today?"

"Yeah," my blond friend agreed, sitting down next to me on the ledge. "I think this is the best it's ever been."

As I nodded my agreement, I heard footsteps from behind us. Glancing over my shoulder, I was surprised to see Axel walking toward us.

"You're early," he greeted us, sitting down next to Roxas.

My blond friend grinned at me before replying, "No, you're just late."

We sat in silence for a few minutes, eating the ice cream that Axel had handed out. The gentle wind that usually softly ruffled our hair was stronger that day, pulling more and more strands of my hair free from its braid until I finally gave in and put my hood up. I envied Roxas and his shorter hair, which didn't seem to be annoying him in the slightest. Even Axel's hair somehow managed to stay in its neat spikes.

I slowly ate my popsicle and savored the salty, creamy flavor. Life seemed pretty good at that moment, now that my secret had been revealed to Axel. I was certain that together we'd come up with a plan to save our friends.

Just... hopefully he wouldn't do something crazy.

"Today makes 255."

Roxas's simple statement startled me so much I almost lost my balance, barely catching myself in time. My blond friend glanced over at me, his eyes wide, and I quickly told him I was fine. "Just lost my balance for a second," I explained. I couldn't exactly tell him I was startled because I knew exactly what he was going to say next! I remembered now why day 255 seemed important to me. It was _Why the Sun Sets Red._ One of the first scenes in the game. My first impressions of Roxas and Axel came from this scene. And now, here I was, experiencing it in person!

"255? What's that about?" Axel wondered, biting into his popsicle. I wonder if he ever got brain freeze from doing that so much.

"It's been that many days since I first joined the Organization," Roxas explained. "Man, time sure flies."

"Guess you've got the number memorized," Axel teased, causing Roxas to grin.

"Yeah. After all, gotta hold on to something, right?" He turned towards me, and I realized he was quoting what I said the second time I'd ever talked to him. Oops. He had just quoted me quoting what he was supposed to say at this very moment. I smiled at my friend as I thought how weird that was.

"It's not like I have memories from before," Roxas continued. "Don't you remember? Those first few days, I acted like a zombie."

"Yeah, back then you could barely form a sentence," Axel agreed seriously. Then he broke into a grin and playfully shoved our blond friend. "You haven't changed much!"

"Wow, thanks," Roxas laughed, shoving Axel in return. I was horrified.

"Guys! We're at the edge of the top of a very tall clock tower. We probably shouldn't shove each other! We could accidentally push someone off the ledge!" I exclaimed, risking a glance down at the town below us. Far, far below us.

"Chill, Alexa. That's not gonna happen," Axel assured me.

"How can you be sure?" I muttered, feeling dizzy as I looked back up.

Axel ignored me. "Hey, bet you dunno why the sun sets red," he challenged us.

I felt my throat tighten as he spoke those familiar words. How many times had I thought them to myself as I stared up at the setting sun?

"You see, light's made up out of many colors. And out of all those colors-"

"Red's the one that travels the farthest," I finished, my voice in unison with Axel's. I couldn't help it!

"Right," my tall friend agreed, glancing over at me in surprise.

"You're such know-it-alls!" Roxas accused us, laughing. I joined in, and soon we were all laughing together under the brilliant sunset. All my troubles were completely forgotten when I was hanging out with my friends. I wished it could be like this all the time. The only thing that could make it better would be if-

"Seriously, where is she? She should be here by now," Roxas muttered, as if he had been able to read my thoughts. I knew "she" was Xion. I wished she was here with us.

"Roxas... I'm not sure she's gonna show today," Axel warned. He had turned to face Roxas, and I saw him shoot a glance at me like I should know what was going on. I didn't. Had something happened to Xion? I frowned in confusion.

"Why?" our blond friend asked, surprise in his tone. "She didn't... she didn't collapse again, did she?"

Axel hesitated. "She..." He turned away, suddenly breaking into a grin. "Didn't you hear? She got sent on a really important mission! Pretty cool, huh?" The cheeriness in his voice was obviously fake, but Roxas actually seemed to believe him.

"Oh. So when's she coming back?"

Axel hesitated again. "Guess that depends on how well she does her job, right? She'll be back whenever the mission's done." This time his cheerfulness was almost believable, and Roxas didn't seem to suspect anything.

"Fair enough," he agreed with a small laugh.

Silence settled over us as we sat there on the ledge, gazing up at the beautiful sunset. I wanted it to last forever.

But where was Xion? If only I could remember the timeline better!

I sighed and shook my head, forcing my worries to leave me alone. So much had happened in the past few days. It was nice to finally spend time with my friends. And even though Axel knew Roxas's canon fate, he was doing a pretty good job of acting normal.

 _My adventure in this world is nothing like I ever imagined it would be,_ I thought as I studied the various shades of red in the sky. _But now that there's a chance, small as it may be, that I can get a happy ending for my friends- with Axel's help- I wouldn't want it any other way._

 **Author's Note:**

 **THE MYSTERY IS SOLVED! IT WAS AXEL! (My apologies to everyone who was hoping it wasn't him.)**

 **I feel like I did a terrible job of writing Axel this chapter, but I tried my best! What do you think? Please let me know in a review!**


	22. Chapter 22: Facing Fears

**Author's Note:**

 **HOW IS THIS STORY GETTING SO MANY VIEWS?!**

 **Seriously, we're up to almost 6,900 views already. Thank you so much to everyone who takes the time to read this story! I honestly still can't believe it's gotten as popular as it has. Y'all are amazing!**

 **Sorry about another slow-ish update! I actually finished this chapter on Saturday, but didn't have time to edit and post it until now. I had the hardest time writing this chapter, so sorry if it's kind of boring.**

 **Thank you so much to all the guest reviewers last chapter! :) You are awesome!**

 **Disclaimer: As you probably already know by now, I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the direct quotes from the game used in this story. I also do not own any of the canon/Disney worlds in which the story takes place or the characters from those worlds.**

 **Chapter Twenty-Two: Facing Fears**

Sadly, no sunset lasts forever. My friends and I soon left the clock tower, making promises to meet up again there the next day. Even when I was back in my room, no longer under the cheerful rays of the setting sun, my good mood remained. Nothing cheers you up like spending time with your best friends, especially when you're full of hope that they'll get a happy ending.

My cheerfulness carried over into the next day, and I caught myself humming that tune Demyx always strummed while on my way to the Grey Area.

Once I reached the large room, I was surprised to find it completely empty. Even Saïx's usual spot by the window was vacant, which was really unusual. Where had everyone gone?

Just as I was turning to leave the room, Roxas entered. "Alexa! There you are! Xemnas sent me to find you. We're having a meeting in the Round Room."

 _Another meeting?_ The only meeting of the Organization I'd been to before had been back when I joined. It seemed like so long ago now... Although, I guess it had actually been awhile since then.. "What's the meeting about?" I asked as I followed my blond friend though the confusing maze of hallways that made up the castle.

He shrugged. "All I know is it's important."

By the time we reached the Round Room, most of the other members seemed impatient to start the meeting. I quickly walked over to my chair and sat down.

A few moments of silence passed before Xemnas's deep voice announced: "Xion is gone."

I couldn't hold back my gasp of surprise at his statement. She had only run away, right? She wasn't...? I nervously glanced over at Axel, but my tall friend seemed lost in thought.

"What?!" Demyx exclaimed in shock. "Whoa, time out. You mean she, like, ran away?"

Xaldin let out a small, harsh laugh that startled me with its sharpness. "Preposterous. What would drive her to want her own demise?"

I looked over at Roxas to find a look of complete shock on his face. He seemed stunned into silence, probably barely hearing the other members as they discussed our friend. Or maybe he was just too nervous to say anything, like I was. I didn't really know what to do. I was worried about Xion, of course, but I thought I could vaguely remember this happening in the video game.

"On the contrary," Xemnas responded to Number III's comment. "No one is to go looking for Xion without my permission."

"What?! Why not?" Roxas yelled suddenly, his question echoing in the room.

"Your little 'friend' will be left alone. Would you rather we find a suitable punishment for her?" Saïx calmly told my blond friend.

"I'd rather you get her back!" Roxas shouted. His blue eyes shone brightly with anger and worry.

"And why would we do that?"

Roxas gritted his teeth and mumbled something, glaring at Saïx.

"All will be revealed when the time comes," Xemnas stated. He was looking at Roxas as he spoke, but then his gaze shifted to me. I hurriedly looked away, unable to meet his intense golden gaze.

I noticed Axel open his mouth like he was about to say something, then close it again.

"Lord Xemnas has spoken. Obey, or face your end," Saïx warned us. Harsh.

The meeting was dismissed.

As Roxas, Axel, and I headed back toward the Grey Area, I noticed both my friends were silent, appearing deeply in thought. I kept quiet too, my own worries running through my mind. I needed to talk to Axel as soon as possible! But I didn't want Roxas to feel left out if we met up without him. Our blond friend couldn't know.

By the time we'd reached the Grey Area, Saïx was already in his usual spot by the window. "Roxas, Alexa," he announced the moment we stepped into the room. "Today you're being sent on a special mission. The Heartless in Halloween Town have mysteriously disappeared. It is your job to discover why."

"Yes, sir!" I agreed, a feeling of dread washing over me. _This wasn't... this wasn't the Leechgrave mission, was it?_ I didn't think I could take having to fight the horrible Heartless boss in person! Beating that mission in the video game had been hard enough.

"You ready to go?" Roxas asked me, his tone dull and cheerless. I knew he was upset about Xion, and I didn't blame him. It seemed like he was constantly having to worry over her. I felt like it was my job to cheer him up, to let him know everything would be okay.

I nodded in response to his question, summoning a Dark Corridor. _Please, please don't let this be the Leechgrave battle!_ I desperately begged the universe as I stepped into the shadows.

"I don't get it," Roxas muttered as we walked through the Corridor. "Why did she run away? I thought we were her friends. Friends don't abandon each other."

His words made me feel sad. Little did Roxas know that, in the canon timeline, he would run away and leave his friends just like Xion had. "I'm sure she didn't mean to abandon you," I told him. "I mean, us. She probably just... needed to get away for a bit." It sounded lame, and I knew it.

"But why?" Roxas asked as we exited the Corridor into Halloween Town. "What does she need to get away from so badly?"

I shrugged, my throat so tight from emotion I was unable to answer him. I felt so bad for Roxas, who cared so deeply about his friends. "Let's... let's focus on our mission," I finally managed to get out.

My blond friend nodded. "Right."

We began walking toward the town.

"That's weird..." Roxas muttered, glancing around as we walked. "There used to be all these strange balloons around here before. Where'd they all go?"

I answered him with a shrug. "I haven't been to this world in awhile."

"I was just here not too long ago, and there were a bunch of them-" my friend replied, breaking off as we entered the town. "Okay, this is really weird. Why aren't there any Heartless?"

All hope I had of this not being the Leechgrave mission faded away at his observation. This definitely had to be the battle against my second-least-favorite Heartless boss. Fear flooded through me at the thought of having to face the giant Heartless in person. I couldn't do it! No way would I be able to!

"There's gotta be some explanation..." Roxas muttered, jolting me out of my panic. Just as he finished speaking, a Creepworm appeared near the fountain in the center of town. "There! A Heartless!" my friend exclaimed, summoning his Keyblade. Before he could lunge at the Creepworm, however, a Tentaclaw sprouted from the ground nearby.

"Whoa," Roxas gasped. "Alexa, it's that thing from before that I was telling you about! You know, the black creature with the claw mouth?"

I was frozen in terror, watching as the Tentaclaw suddenly bent down and grabbed the Creepworm in its mouth. The dark creature was even scarier in real life than I had imagined it would be, with several large, pointy thorns sprouting from its stem and sharp, constantly moving claws around its small mouth. Its dark color shone in the faint moonlight coating the town, causing the Tentaclaw to look even more scary. I could only watch in horror as it swallowed the Creepworm, pitying the poor creature who didn't deserve such a fate. I mean, okay, it was a Heartless so it kind of did deserve it, but whatever! Being eaten by a Tentaclaw still seemed like a horrible fate. Plus, Creepworms were kind of cute.

"It... it eats Heartless?!" Roxas exclaimed, shocked. I nodded slightly in agreement, my eyes locked on the dark creature. Two more suddenly appeared, their jaws snapping as they turned toward us.

I realized my Keyblade was in my hand and held it up as a sort of shield, even though the Tentaclaws were too far away to attack us. It was taking nearly all of my willpower to not run away, I was so afraid.

"Guess they're not friendly," Roxas stated, glancing at me. I tore my gaze from our enemies for a second to look back at him, surprised at the worry that suddenly appeared in his eyes. "Alexa? Is something wrong? You look... you look really freaked out."

I turned back toward the Tentaclaws. I had to face my fears! I had already done so many things in this world that I was terrified to, like battling the Antlion and even picking up a sword for the first time. I could still remember the heavy weight and the menacing gleam of the metal blade as I had clumsily sparred with Axel. How far I had come since then! So I could totally do this, right? I mean, what were a few Tentaclaws?

...Terrifying, that's what they were. But I had to fight them. And hey, if I managed to not die and actually defeat these things, yet another thing to cross off my list of fears back home!

"I'm okay," I answered Roxas's question, my gaze still locked onto my enemies. "Just kinda nervous." I was gripping my weapon so hard my hands hurt, and I forced myself to relax them slightly. "Let's just get this over with."

"...Okay," my friend agreed with a nod. In unison, we lunged toward the Tentaclaws- Roxas attacking the one near the fountain, myself aiming for the Tentaclaw closest to us. I didn't allow myself to think too much, I just kept hitting the dark creature with attack after attack, dodging the huge jaws that would would try to grab me. It still managed to scratch me a few times, but as long as it didn't eat me I didn't really care. It didn't seem like it had been that long before the Tentaclaw disappeared into black wisps of smoke. _I did it!_ I had defeated a Tentaclaw! I didn't have too much time to be proud of myself though, as Roxas was battling with the third Tentaclaw. I rushed over to help him, and together we defeated it.

"What... are those... things?" Roxas asked me as we struggled to catch our breath. "What kind... of creature feeds on... Heartless?"

I shrugged, too out-of-breath to reply.

"I guess that explains the drop in Heartless population," my blond friend reasoned. He glanced toward the gate leading to the Graveyard. "We should go see what's happening outside of town."

"O-Okay," I agreed reluctantly, and we left the Town Square.

There was nothing suspicious in the Graveyard, besides the creepy atmosphere, it being a graveyard and all. All those headstones made me sad and nervous, and the purple grass certainly didn't help to lighten up the gloom surrounding this world. Neither did the shockingly bright moonlight that always lit up the black, starless sky above.

"Guess we should check the first Boneyard," Roxas stated as we reached the coffin-shaped staircase that led to Boneyard One. I shuddered at the thought of climbing down those scary steps, but nodded my agreement and followed him anyway. We didn't find anything there, either, so we continued through the giant cat-shaped doorway to Moonlight Hill.

Just as we were closing the door behind us, a loud voice peirced through the still and quiet air.

"Run awaaaay!" it cried, causing me to jump in surprise. Turning toward the sound, I saw what appeared to be a child wearing a devil mask running by, not seeming to notice Roxas and I.

"I told you not to pick that thing up!" a second voice stated, belonging to a girl about the same age as the first child. She ran past us as well, followed by a third kid wearing a skeleton mask.

"How was I supposed to know it would grow?!" he protested, running after his friends. I remembered these kids from the video game. _What were their names?_ I thought as they ran off toward the Boneyard. _That's right- Lock, Shock, and... Barrel!_

"What are they running from?" Roxas wondered after the trio had left. He looked in the direction they had come from and pointed to the ladder leaning up against the tall wall. "We should go investigate."

Before I could reluctantly agree, five Tentaclaws suddenly sprouted from the ground. I held my Keyblade at the ready, glancing at my friend who gave me a quick nod. Together, we lunged at the creature closest to us, quickly defeating it. Now that I had already fought against two Tentaclaws, they didn't seem quite as intimidating anymore. Not that I was completely unafraid of them- they definitely still scared me. But at least now I knew I could beat them. Roxas and I split up, each of us defeating two more Tentaclaws. Finally, the last of the dark thorn-covered creatures disappeared into wisps of smoke and I leaned against the wall surrounding the area, catching my breath. My arms stung from several new scratches, but I ignored it. I only had one potion left, and I wanted to save it for later.

"Ready to find out what's back there?" Roxas asked me, nodding toward the very unstable-looking ladder.

I swallowed nervously. "Um, yeah." Was the Leechgrave waiting beyond the walls? I wasn't exactly thrilled about having to fight the giant Heartless, but I couldn't exactly let Roxas battle it all alone!

Roxas climbed up the small wooden ladder easily, hopping down on the other side of the fence. I followed more timidly, not liking how the ladder creaked under my weight. I've never been a big fan of ladders, wooden ones especially. I was relieved to jump down onto the solid ground next to Roxas, although the drop was a bit taller than I liked. Still, I managed to land on my feet.

I had never been to this part of Halloween Town before, and as I looked around, I vaguely recognized it from the video game. Several feet of purple ground spread out before us, dropping sharply into a river of ominous green ooze. An odd blueish-purple bridge led over the creepy stream, a large iron gate at the end. I shuddered, knowing we would have to cross that bridge. I hoped it was sturdier than it looked.

"Let's go," I declared, nervously stepping onto the bridge. It felt strong and firm beneath my feet, so I timidly kept walking until I reached the gate at the end. I could hear Roxas's footsteps behind me as I nervously pushed the gate open. A horrible screech rang through the air, causing me to let out a little squeak of surprise. Yes, I was scared by an old rusty gate. That's how on-edge I was.

I stepped through the now-open gate, Roxas following behind me.

After I had taken only a few steps, I stopped suddenly and gasped in horror.

We were now seemingly outside of the town, in a large open area half-surrounded by huge rock walls, like the side of a mountain except for the smooth, flat surface at the top. The other half of the area was fenced in by a large iron gate.

And there, in the middle of the area, was what appeared to be a giant plant- one large flower surrounded by thorny vines.

As if it could sense us approaching, the huge plant suddenly rose up from the ground, the vines supporting the flower like legs as it grew and grew until it was several feet taller than Roxas and I. A large coffin hung underneath the flower, wrapped in chains and proudly displaying the Heartless symbol.

 _Leechgrave._

As if that wasn't bad enough, several Tentaclaws sprouted from the ground around the giant Heartless. I couldn't make myself move, eyes locked onto one of my greatest fears come to life before me.

Beside me, Roxas readied his Keyblade. It looked like he was going to lunge toward the coffin, and I remembered from the video game how that would be a deadly mistake. "Roxas, no!" I exclaimed, grabbing his arm to stop him. "Don't hit the coffin- it'll fight back! We need to take out the Tentaclaws first. That'll stun the coffin so we can hit it."

"Tentaclaws?" Roxas repeated in confusion. 'How do you know so much about this Heartless? Have you fought it before?"

I realized Roxas still didn't know the name of the dark thorn-covered creatures we had been fighting. "You know, those," I hurriedly told him, pointing toward the closest one. "And yeah, I guess you could say that. C'mon, we can't just stand here!" Full of fear and nervous energy, I rushed toward a Tentaclaw, hitting it with my Keyblade while making sure to avoid its mouth. It was more challenging this time- my enemy seemed stronger, faster. I guess the closer they are to the Leechgrave, the more power Tentaclaws have. Just as I was about to finish the Tentaclaw off, it suddenly seemed to shrink back into the ground. All of the dark creatures seemed to have done the same, popping back up in different places.

It was going to be a long battle.

As I started running toward the nearest Tentaclaw, I noticed the Leechgrave shoot out small purple blobs of mist. Dread washed over me as I remembered this from the game- the poison mist that would continually drain your HP if you touched it. I panicked, running away and managing to avoid getting hit by the blobs, but now a thick purple mist hung in the air. It surrounded me, causing my lungs to hurt as I breathed it in. I struggled to hold my breath as I tried to escape the fog, but I couldn't tell where it ended. I couldn't see anything but purple.

 _Purple..._ the color surrounding me was the same as my diary. That little book that contained so much information that no one in this world should know. Information that I had so carelessly written down. What if Axel was lying to me? What if he was planning to tell Saïx or someone about my journal? Maybe he already had. Panic gripped me so tight I thought I couldn't breath until I remembered I was holding my breath. I needed to get out of this mist. Had it been this thick in the video game? Here in real life the purple fog was so thick I couldn't see anything. I stumbled along blindly, knowing I couldn't hold my breath for much longer. The seconds seemed to stretch on forever, endless and purple... I never wanted to see the color purple again.

Then, finally, the mist suddenly started to fade. As soon as I could see clearly again I stepped away from the retreating fog and gulped in air, struggling to catch my breath. A quick glance around told me that Roxas was battling with a Tentaclaw- it looked like there was only one left. I felt guilty that Roxas had to fight them all by himself while I was trapped in the purple mist. As soon as my breathing returned to mostly normal, I rushed over to help my friend.

And so the battle against the Leechgrave continued.

Besides the weird purple fog being thicker, the fight was pretty much the same as it had been in the video game, at least from what I could remember. After we defeated the last Tentaclaw, we rushed over to attack the coffin. It was an easy target, stunned by the defeat of the Tentaclaws. I hit the Leechgrave with my Keyblade as fast as I could, knowing we didn't have too long before it would fight back.

But it never did. We were able to finish it off, the coffin disappearing and the flower spitting out several hearts before disintegrating. I couldn't believe how easy it had been.

Well, not exactly _easy,_ but not quite as hard as I had expected. I couldn't fight the grin of relief that spread over my face as the Giant Heartless collapsed. "We did it!" I exclaimed happily, watching as a giant pink crystal heart floated up from where the Leechgrave had been only moments before. It rose up until it disappeared into the cloudy black sky above us, the only bit of pink I had ever seen in this world vanishing as if the darkness had eaten it up.

"I think that's the hardest Heartless boss I've fought so far," Roxas commented as he dismissed his weapon. I did the same, not noticing how tired my arms were until the weight of my Keyblade was gone. Now that the battle was over, all my aches and cuts from the Tentaclaw's jaws were strongly felt. I worried my legs would collapse under me any second, they were so sore. I quickly took a potion from my cloak's pocket and gulped it down, noticing Roxas was doing the same.

Once I had finished the potion, I relaxed and closed my eyes for a few seconds, savoring the gentle, soothing feeling as my scratches and sore muscles were healed. When I opened them again, Roxas had summoned a Dark Corridor and was waiting for me. "You ready to head back?"

I nodded, following him into the shadowy portal. "Where are we going? The clock tower, or back to the castle?"

"Tower, I guess," my blond friend answered. He didn't sound very enthusiastic about it.

A few minutes later, we sat on the small ledge at the edge of the clock tower. The sunset didn't seem quite as brilliant as it had the day before, but it was still beautiful. I gazed out at it, my happiness at having actually defeated the Leechgrave in person dampened by Roxas's quietness. Was he still upset about the meeting Xemnas had called earlier? That had to be it, I decided. I didn't know what else it could be. I didn't want to upset him by asking about it, but I was concerned. So I did what I was best at- pretending everything was okay.

"I wonder if Axel will show up today," I commented brightly.

"Yeah..." Roxas muttered in response, avoiding my gaze.

"Gosh, that was a hard mission today, wasn't it?"

"Uh-huh."

"I'm amazed we defeated that thing so fast."

"Yeah."

I was getting nowhere, so I gave up.

Axel never did show up to the clock tower that day. Roxas and I gave up on waiting for him and returned to the castle.

"See you tomorrow," I told my blond friend as I turned toward the hallway that led to my room.

"See ya," he replied, and we parted ways.

Back in my room, the stars outside my window shone brightly in greeting as I closed the door behind me. It was weird and sad how Halloween Town didn't seem to have any stars, just a cloudy, empty sky. I felt bad for that world- they probably didn't even know what they were missing.

I let out a small sigh as I sat down on my bed, then jumped up again as I realized I had forgotten to check my diary. Sure enough, it was safely in its hiding place as usual. I really needed to get rid of it, I realized sadly. It was too much of a danger to keep around.

But still... destroying it seemed so harsh. I had grown fond of that little book, in which I had written so many deep secrets no one else could know. It seemed so cruel to have to get rid of it. Sadly I had no other choice.

I carefully picked up the small book, with its smooth purple cover and few bent pages. "I'm sorry," I told it in a sad whisper. "I don't want to do this. It's not your fault, it's mine. I messed up and wrote so many things I shouldn't have, and now you're paying the price. I'm so sorry." I was glad no one was there to see me tearfully apologizing to a book. I get attached to things too easily.

I summoned my Keyblade and carefully cut out the pages with writing by running them along the sharp edge of my weapon. Once the sheets of paper were removed, I dismissed Kingdom of Broken Hearts and slid the journal back under the bed. The pages in my hand were starting to wrinkle in my tight grip as I walked across the room to my small bathroom. I stood over the wastebasket and ripped the papers into tiny pieces, watching them flutter down. My diary was gone. At least, all the things I had written about future events were gone. I was sad, but relieved at the same time. Now I no longer had to worry about anyone else knowing things they shouldn't.

I walked back into my room, thinking about the now-empty book under my bed. What would I use it for? Maybe I should just leave it blank.

I looked out the window once again at the cheerful stars lighting up the dark sky, the day's events running through my mind. I had defeated the Leechgrave! Okay, Roxas had done most of the work, but still! I hadn't run away!

 _The events at the end of the video game may be coming closer and closer,_ I thought as I gazed out the window, _but I believe I can find a way to save my friends. I just need to talk to Axel! Maybe he already has a plan! Even if he doesn't, I just know we'll come up with a way to change things. I hope Xion's okay. I know she ran away for awhile in the canon timeline, and if things stay the same she'll be back soon... right?_ I knew Roxas was worried about our dark-haired friend, and I didn't blame him. I sighed as I turned away from the window.

 _Day 256._ Time was continuing to run out. But I wasn't quite as worried anymore. I had faced one of my greatest fears today with bravery that seemed to come out of nowhere. Surely I could save my friends, right?

After all, if I could defeat a Leechgrave, I could do anything!

 **Author's Note:**

 **Again, a slightly awkward ending because I couldn't find a good place to leave it off. Sorry.**

 **Alexa has fought the Leechgrave! I hope I did an okay job describing that battle. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter in a review!**

 **Thank you so much for reading! :)**


	23. Chapter 23: Searching

**Author's Note:**

 **This story has gotten over 7,400 views so far! THANK Y'ALL SO MUCH! Seriously, it's so amazing that so many people all over the world are reading about Alexa's adventure.**

 **Guest reviewer Anya5544** **brought up a good point- how much do I, the author, know about the KH storyline? The answer is basically all of it. Although I've only actually played Days and 3D, I've done a ton of research online, plus read a couple of the mangas and the first KH2 novel. 3D also has summaries of all the previous games, which is nice. So yeah, I hope that answers your question! :)**

 **I had a bit of a hard time writing Axel this chapter- he's such an awesome character, but so difficult to write! Hopefully I did okay, though! I hope y'all like this latest chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the dialogue, worlds, characters, or ANYTHING from the games/mangas/novels.**

 **Chapter Twenty-Three: Searching**

The next day, after I finished my mission, I ran into someone in the Dark Corridor. I mean, I literally crashed into them. It wasn't really my fault, though! It's so dark in there, I couldn't even see them.

"Sorry! I'm so sorry!" I exclaimed as I nervously backed away. Whoever I had run into stepped out of the thick shadows and into one of the lighter spots in the Corridor, turning to face me.

I relaxed as I recognized them. "Axel! You scared me!"

My tall friend ran his hand through his hair, not quite meeting my gaze. "Guess you should be more careful, then. Anyone could be lurking in the shadows."

I frowned in confusion. Why was he telling me this? "Well yeah, I guess... Hey, can we talk now?" My voice rose in excitement as I spoke the last sentence. Hopefully I'd finally get to discuss the possible future with Axel!

To my relief, he nodded. "Follow me."

He led the way through a section of the Corridor I'd never been in before, where the shadows didn't seem quite as dark. "Where are we going?" I asked him as we walked along.

"A world where, hopefully, no one will overhear us," he replied. The exit of the Corridor was now in view, and I followed him as he stepped out.

This new world was bright, wherever it was, and I had to close my eyes against the harsh sunlight that blinded my vision. Going from the darkness of the Corridors to daylight was always a sharp, sudden change, but this time it was even more so than usual.

With my eyes closed, I had to rely on my other senses to observe the world around me. A faint wooshing sound filled my ears, reminding me of the cars that used to pass by my house back home. Nostalgia welled up inside of me, so intensely it hurt. I had taken the calming sound of traffic for granted all my life. Hearing it again-

 _Wait a second. Was I... Was I back home?!_

I opened my eyes, blinking until they were used to the sun's bright glare. Disappointment filled me as I realized I was standing on a beach, staring out at the ocean. The "traffic" sound was really waves hitting against the shore. The water was beautiful, moving as if it was alive, the sparkling particles of sun it reflected adding to the illusion. It was the prettiest beach I had ever seen.

"Do you know where we are?" Axel's question startled me, as I had been so focused on the waves that I forgot he was there. I shook my head as I turned toward him.

My tall friend smirked. "Stop staring at the ocean and look around. It can't be that different."

Wondering what he meant by that last statement, I glanced around- then gasped in shock as I realized where exactly I was.

It appeared to be an island, with a large beach and numerous tropical plants. What really gave its identity away, however, was the crooked tree growing on a small section of the island not too far away from where I was standing. I immediately recognized it from the video game, even though it had only appeared in a few cutscenes.

"Destiny Islands," I whispered, unable to hold back the smile spreading across my face. "I'm actually at Destiny Islands."

"You mentioned this place in your journal a few times," Axel commented from behind me. "Figured it'd be a good place to discuss what we know. Organization members rarely get sent here."

"I've never been here," I answered truthfully, although it felt like a lie. "It's amazing." Hadn't Sora lived here for most of his life? This small island was such an important place, and it was awesome to be there.

As I turned toward Axel again, he shrugged. "We still shouldn't stay here too long," he warned.

I nodded. There was no one in sight, so it would be safe to talk here. "Do you have a plan?" I blurted out, desperate to know.

"Hmm?" Axel frowned. "A plan for- oh! Right. No, I haven't thought of anything yet," he answered, running his hand through his long hair. "I'm guessing you haven't, either?"

I shook my head, disappointed. "I was hoping you had. Well, we'll just have to come up with one!"

We spent some time discussing the future, with me carefully deciding what I should and shouldn't tell my tall friend. I hesitated in revealing the events at the game's end to him, but then remembered that I had already written about them in my diary. Axel already knew much more than he should, so what was the harm in telling him?

"So let me get this straight," he said after I had finished telling him everything I could remember. "Roxas is going to fight and defeat Xion and then have his memory erased by Riku and this DiZ guy?"

I nodded, cringing at how blunt and harsh Axel's summary was. "And then Roxas will be stuck inside a digital version of Twilight Town. After that... I don't really know. I've only played the video game that covers the events up until Roxas gets put into the virtual town. I do know..." I trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence. "You probably already know this, but... Roxas is going to have to go back to Sora. I don't see any way around it! Without Xion and Roxas returning Sora's memories to him, he'll never wake up. And if he stays asleep for too long, the rest of the timeline might be damaged beyond repair! It's horrible and I hate it, but I don't know what to do! I can't stand the thought of losing my friends- I mean, it already feels like I've lost them once, when I played the video game. Now here I am, in a world I thought didn't really exist with people I thought were fictional, and everything is so REAL and-" I paused to take a breath, the flood of words that had poured out of my mouth leaving me feeling hollow. "Maybe I'm just being selfish, but I don't want to lose anyone I care about. Especially when they deserve so much more!" My voice was quickly rising, the last words almost loud enough to be considered a shout.

Axel was silent for a few long moments, his gaze on the waves gently crashing against the shore. "Who said Roxas has to go back to Sora?" he finally questioned, glancing over at me. The faint gleam in his eyes was one I'd never seen before. He looked... sad. And slightly angry. "Why is Sora so important, anyway? Who cares if he doesn't wake up?"

"I care!" I protested. "All of the worlds he'll save care! Only Sora can stop the evil that's coming!"

"Who says?" Axel challenged, his eyes narrowing. He was starting to scare me. "You know what'll happen, right? You could take over Sora's role for him."

"W-What?!" I was shocked at my tall friend's suggestion. I was nothing like Sora!

"You remind me of him, y'know," Axel continued. "All you seem to care about is your friends. Not quite as outgoing as him, but that doesn't really matter does it? As long as you have a Keyblade, you can do Sora's job. Roxas and Xion get to live. There's my plan." My friend crossed his arms, a smug expression on his face.

"Th-that's not going to work!" I protested. "I'm not as strong as Sora, or as brave, and I don't have the same friends he does. I don't- I don't even know how long I'm going to be in this world! What if I disappear after day 358? Then what'll happen? The darkness will take over without Sora!"

"Whose side are you on, Alexa? Sora's or Roxas's?"

I was torn. I hadn't really thought about it that way. "I..." I didn't even know Sora. Roxas was my best friend, the one I looked forward to seeing every day, the one whose sky-blue eyes were full of such sadness and longing, yet they lit up whenever he was with his friends. I was his friend. I couldn't let him down.

But... Sora was so important. He had a hard life too, from what I'd read online, yet you'd never know it from his carefree manner. The fate of the worlds depended on him waking up, didn't they? We couldn't afford to be selfish and let Roxas live instead of him. That would be wrong.

 _It wasn't fair! None_ of this was fair. Tears formed in my eyes as I thought how Roxas and Xion deserved so much more. Sora's saving the worlds came at a price, I realized, and the price was them.

"Sora and Roxas aren't on opposite sides," I said finally. My voice was quieter now, hardly above a whisper. The sound of the waves could easily have drowned it out, but I didn't really care. "They've always been on the same side. They both care deeply about their friends, about others. They don't want anyone to get hurt. I think..." My throat tightened, the words I wanted to say trapped inside of me. I swallowed hard and took a deep breath before continuing: "I think we have to let this happen. I think it's what Roxas would want. What Xion would want. I mean, would you want to live if it meant someone else never waking up?" I didn't wait for Axel to answer that. "Our friends are too nice. I just... I don't see another way."

I wasn't sure if Axel had heard me or not. He was frowning, his arms still crossed as he stared out at the ocean.

"I've been so torn ever since I got here," I continued, my voice a bit louder now. "I keep wondering, is there some way I could save Roxas and Xion? And even if I could, should I? I mean, of course the safety of the worlds is important, but so are my friends. At least, they're important to me. To _us_. I'd do anything to save them, but not at the cost of someone else's life! Sora needs his memories back. He needs his Nobody back. There's nothing we can do!"

A few tense moments of silence passed before Axel finally spoke. "There's always something. But Alexa, you need to decide." His serious mint-green gaze met mine. "Do you want to sit back and let the timeline play out, or do you want to change it? Do you want to watch your friends fade away, or do you want to save them?"

"I want to save them. But I refuse to do anything that would risk Sora staying asleep forever."

Axel sighed, running his gloved hand through his hair. "You're making this difficult."

"Well, it's an impossible situation!"

"Nothing is impossible! You should know that, of all people!" My tall friend was getting angry now, his eyes flashing with impatience.

I sighed, turning away. "I don't think we're getting anywhere. Maybe we should meet again tomorrow."

"Sure, whatever," Axel muttered, summoning a Dark Corridor and disappearing into it. The portal closed behind him before I could follow.

Great. My friend was upset with me now.

My life just kept getting better and better.

 **~Time-Skip~**

Axel and I met at Destiny Islands the next day, but it was basically just a repeat of the day before. My tall friend was frustrated that I didn't want to risk harming Sora. It was like Axel didn't care about the brown-haired boy at all. How could he be so heartless? Didn't he care about the fate of the worlds?!

"Fine! Don't do anything, then!" Axel declared after I asked him those last two questions. "Time's running out, Alexa. Got any bright ideas on how to save our friends?"

I shook my head, stressed and upset. "N-No."

My friend sighed, obviously holding back whatever it was he wanted to say. He could probably see how miserable I was. "I think we've talked about this enough for now," he said finally. "I suggest we don't meet up here for awhile, so the others don't get suspicious. It'll give us some time to come up with a plan. Sound good?"

"Sure," I agreed glumly.

So a few weeks passed by uneventfully.

I hardly saw my friends during those weeks, except once in awhile I'd see them in the Grey Area, and Roxas and I met at the clock tower a few times.

The days passed by, all nearly identical, following the same pattern as they had since I'd arrived in this world: Get my mission, do the mission, see if my friends were at the clock tower, then return to the castle.

I carefully kept track of the days, but I didn't write in my now-blank journal anymore. It was safer to keep it empty.

On Day 277, I ran into my blond friend (not literally, thankfully!) on my way to the Grey Area.

"Hi!" I greeted him, relieved when he returned my smile. Some days he seemed kind of depressed, others he was happy and cheerful. Today was a cheerful day, apparently.

"Hey Alexa!" Roxas glanced around to make sure no one else was nearby before quietly adding: "Axel and I are gonna start looking for Xion after our missions today. Want to help?"

"S-Sure," I agreed, remembering this from the video game. I mean, remembering the fact that Axel and Roxas had gone looking for Xion.

My friend grinned. "Thanks! I knew you'd help us! With the three of us looking, we'll find her in no time!"

I couldn't remember if they ever actually found Xion or not, so I simply smiled in response. I didn't want to get my friend's hopes up in case she wasn't found any time soon. "Good luck in finding her."

"You too!"

As we continued on our way to the Grey Area, I thought about the last mission I'd gone on with my blond friend. The Leechgrave battle seemed so long ago now, like a half-forgotten dream. It was still hard for me to believe that I had actually fought against the giant Heartless and defeated it!

"Remember the Leechgrave battle?" I asked Roxas suddenly, shattering the peaceful silence between us.

"Huh? Oh, right! That huge Heartless in Halloween Town," my friend replied. "That was a hard fight."

"It was."

"Why'd you bring it up?"

I shrugged. "I guess I'm still pretty proud we beat it. Even though you did most of the work... sorry about that."

"That's not true! You fought it just as much as I did," Roxas protested. "I wouldn't have been able to defeat it by myself. I'm glad you were there to help."

"Thanks," I told him gratefully, unable to hold back my smile. It's nice being appreciated.

When we finally reached the Grey Area, Saïx's icy voice greeted us. "Roxas, Alexa. Late as usual, I see."

"Hey! I'm not-" Roxas began, but I interrupted him with a long, rambling apology.

After a few seconds, the blue-haired man held up a hand to silence me. "Enough. You have work to do. Roxas, today you will be taking care of a large Heartless in Wonderland. Alexa, you have heart collection in Twilight Town."

I was happy with my assignment, as I hadn't had a mission in Twilight Town since before I'd been to Destiny Islands. "Yes, sir!" I replied, summoning a Dark Corridor. After a quick farewell wave to Roxas, I stepped into the shadowy portal.

 _Another day, another mission,_ I thought as I walked through the Corridor. Weird how easy it is to fall into a routine. I feel like I've been doing this all my life.

Well, technically, if I was a Nobody now... I _had_ been doing this all my life. Weird thought. Was I really not the same person anymore?

I shook my head as I exited the shadows, stepping out into the warm light of my favorite world. No matter how many other worlds I visited, none of them could compare to Twilight Town. There was just something so special about it. _I wish I could live here,_ I thought as I looked around the Tram Common. _Imagine waking up to this beautiful brightness every day, forever being under the light of the eternal sunset._

Then I remembered the very end of 358/2 Days and took back my wish. I wouldn't like to have my memories erased and be trapped inside a digital version of this town! Poor Roxas. I just had to find some way to save him!

I was jolted out of my thoughts as a group of Heartless suddenly appeared nearby. My Keyblade appeared in my hand and I ran toward them, my mission beginning.

 **~Time-Skip~**

After my mission had been completed, I stood in front of the clock tower building. There wasn't any sign of my friends, which was a disappointment. Then I remembered my conversation with Roxas earlier that day and mentally face-palmed. _Of course!_ My friends were looking for Xion. I was supposed to help them.

I dismissed my weapon and summoned a Dark Corridor, deciding to investigate Beast's Castle. Hopefully my friends hadn't already checked there.

As I exited the shadowy portal into the blueish world of Beast's Castle, I immediately noticed the black-cloaked figure standing a few feet in front of the castle's front staircase, their shoulders slumped and head hanging slightly down in disappointment.

"Roxas?" I called, and the figure looked up and turned toward me. My friend's blue eyes were dull with sadness, but I saw them flash with light for a second as he noticed me.

"Alexa," he greeted me glumly, walking closer. "She's not here. I already searched the entire castle."

"Oh. I'm sorry," I told him, hating seeing him look so depressed. "Don't worry, we'll find her! Maybe when we get to the clock tower she'll be there waiting for us with Axel."

"Maybe," he agreed, but it didn't sound like he really believed me. I don't blame him, I didn't really believe myself either.

We headed over to the clock tower a few minutes later, but no one else showed up. The two of us sat there in silence, gazing out at the sunset.

"I'm sure Xion's okay," I told my blond friend after several minutes. "She'll probably come back to the Organization when she's ready."

"What if she never comes back? What if we never find her? What if... I never see her again?"

I felt a rush of sadness at my friend's words. "Don't say that. You'll see her again, I know it." However, if I remembered correctly, the next time Roxas saw Xion would be that scene in the video game where Xion threateningly points her Keyblade at Roxas. That scene made me so sad. I hated the idea of it happening in real life.

Roxas didn't respond, and I didn't say anything else.

"Thanks," my friend finally said after a few silent minutes.

"What for?"

"Not running away. Or leaving me. At least I don't have to worry about you."

"Axel hasn't left you ei- oh, wait, I forgot about Castle Oblivion." I felt my face grow hot at the thought that Roxas was thanking _me_ , the only one who could change his terrible fate but too afraid to do so, for always being there for him. I didn't deserve his thanks, or even his friendship. "Well, um, you're welcome I guess. Thank you, too, for not running away. Sorry I haven't been able to meet with you guys at the clock tower more."

"That's okay. I wonder where Axel is?"

I shrugged in response to Roxas's question. "Maybe he's still looking for Xion."

"Yeah, probably... I hope he found her."

"Me, too."

We left the tower a few minutes later, deciding to continue our search for Xion into tomorrow.

"See ya," I told my friend as we exited the Dark Corridor into one of the many hallways that made up The Castle That Never Was.

"Bye," he replied, and we walked off in opposite directions. I now knew the way to my room well enough to find it from practically anywhere in the castle, and I arrived there within five minutes. After I had closed the door behind me, I checked to see if my diary was still in its usual place.

I felt a jolt of panic as I felt around for the small purple book, unable to find it. Peering under the bed, I saw that my diary was closer to the opposite end of the bed from where I was. I never would have put it that far back.

Someone must have read it. _Again._

"Why?" I muttered, frustrated and upset. My journal was empty now. There was nothing to read. There was no reason to break into my room and read it! So why had someone done just that?

Well, obviously they didn't know it was now blank. But still.

I really wished my room had a locking door.

I sat on my bed, staring at the wall as a million thoughts raced through my mind. Had Axel broken into my room again? Why would he do that? I had told him basically everything I knew, so what reason would he have to want to read my journal?

It had to have been someone else, I decided. But who? And why did they want to read my diary?

I was very glad I had torn the pages out on which I had written about future events. What if Saïx or Xigbar or even Xemnas himself had broken into my room?

Speaking of the Organization's leader... I wondered how much he knew about me. Did he know that I was from another world? Or that I was a Keyblade wielder? Maybe he even knew about my weird emotion-effecting ability.

Why was it that I kept having more and more questions, yet so few answers?

Would I ever know?!

Eventually my storm of thoughts died down, and I fell asleep. I had hope that things would get better, not worse. I had to save my friends!

Little did I know that the beginning of the end was much nearer than I thought...

 **Author's Note:**

 **I hope y'all liked that chapter! I'd really appreciate it if you left a review telling me what you thought! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this story! :)**


	24. Chapter 24: The Beginning of the End

**Author's Note:**

 **Sorry this chapter took me longer to write than I thought it would! I was busy this week, so I didn't have as much time to write as I had hoped I would. And now school's starting again- ugh! Even less time to write. :(**

 **As always, a huge thank you to all my guest reviewers last chapter! :) Special thanks to guest reviewer Chirithy564 for reviewing so often- you're awesome! :)**

 **I'd also like to thank y'all- everyone reading this- for sticking with me and this story for so long. It's been what, five months since I first posted this? Thank you so much for continuing to read my little story, and not giving up on me. I really appreciate it. :)**

 **Anyways, I hope y'all like this chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the dialogue, worlds, characters, or ANYTHING from the games/mangas/novels. Got it memorized?**

Over the next few days, the search for Xion continued. We checked every world we could think of, but there was just no sign of our dark-haired friend anywhere. Where was she?

I tried my hardest to stay cheerful and supportive for Roxas, but I had my own worries too. Day 357 kept getting closer and closer with each passing second, and I still had no idea how to save my friends. Axel's words kept playing over and over in my mind: _"Who says? You know what'll happen, right? You could take over Sora's role for him." "As long as you have a Keyblade, you can do Sora's job. Roxas and Xion get to live. There's my plan." "Whose side are you on, Alexa? Sora's or Roxas's?"_

 _I'm not on any side,_ I kept telling myself. _I just want to get my friends the happy ending they deserve! Is that too much to ask for?! There are no "sides," anyway!_

There was no way I could take over Sora's role. Only Sora himself could save the worlds. He _had_ to wake up!

But still... did it have to be at the price of my friend's lives?

As the days kept passing by, I started searching for Xion less and less. I had already checked everywhere, and it didn't seem like she would be found anytime soon. Roxas had been showing up at the clock tower earlier than usual, so I guessed he had given up too. We didn't talk much anymore, instead sitting and watching the sunset in silence. Whenever we did speak, it was words of hope and encouragement. Surely we'd all be together again soon.

Axel didn't come up to the clock tower anymore, but we met at Destiny islands a few more times. Each meeting was practically the same- Axel trying to convince me to risk Sora staying asleep longer in order to save our friends, me arguing how that wasn't morally right and also how only Sora could save the worlds, my tall friend angrily arguing back. It was getting old. We weren't making any progress.

And time kept moving, days kept passing by, the end kept coming closer and closer...

But at the same time, everything was only just beginning.

 **Chapter Twenty-Four: The Beginning of the End**

"It's no use. We're never gonna find her."

It was day 296, and Axel had finally joined Roxas and I on top of the clock tower. Despite the bright sunset, our mood was far from cheerful. My blond friend and I had searched Halloween Town earlier for any sign of Xion, but she was still nowhere to be found. I was worried, Roxas was heartbroken, and who knew how Axel felt.

I glanced over at our tall friend, trying to read his expression. He was staring straight ahead, frowning, a dark shadow dimming his normally bright green eyes. His right arm rested on a raised knee as usual, giving him the appearance of being deep in thought. "Are you sure there isn't someplace you're forgetting to check?" he asked after a few moments of silence.

Roxas shook his head. "I've been everywhere I know how to get to. Alexa and I've checked all the worlds over and over again, but there's still no sign of her."

Axel awkwardly reached up with his left hand and scratched his head, still avoiding meeting Roxas's gaze. "Right..."

Roxas had been staring glumly down at his hands the entire conversation, but now he suddenly looked up toward Axel. "Actually, the only place I haven't looked is Castle Oblivion."

Axel startled and glanced at Roxas before quickly looking away, while I stared at my blond friend in shock. Castle Oblivion... Was that where Xion was? I honesty couldn't remember, no matter how hard I tried. I had been in this world for over 250 days, and the video game's timeline was growing more and more fuzzy in my memory. Didn't Roxas go to Castle Oblivion at some point? Was I really that far in the game's events already? Then again, it was day 296. Only about 60 days left.

"Xion was asking about it awhile ago, remember?" Roxas continued, glancing between Axel and I. "And the day before she disappeared, you said she was sent on an important mission. You've been sent on secret missions there before, maybe that's were she was assigned."

"Yeah, but..." Axel trailed off into a sigh. "That place's been cleaned out, man. There's nothing there anymore."

Roxas stared down at his hands, shoulders slumped. When he spoke, it was so quiet I could barely hear him: "Xion might be there."

Axel glanced at me, as if asking a silent question. I shrugged in confusion. "You know, Roxas... That's where Xion comes from. Castle Oblivion."

 _Oh._ So that's what he had been trying to ask me- if it would be okay for him to tell Roxas that.

Our blond friend looked up sharply toward Axel. "What? Really?!" he exclaimed.

The tall redhead looked away, nodding slightly. "That's probably why she was asking about it."

"I had no idea..." Roxas muttered, glancing toward me. "Did you, Alexa?"

"Um..." I stuttered, not sure how to reply to that. I looked desperately toward Axel, who nodded slightly. "Ye-yeah, I did. Axel told me," I finally managed to get out.

"And you didn't tell me?!"

"Well..."

"Hey, I just did," Axel pointed out before I could finish. "I only found out recently. It's not like I've had the chance to tell you. It's been what, three weeks now since we last talked like this?"

"I guess..." Roxas mumbled, shoulders slumped again. "Poor Xion... She must have so many questions."

I could definitely relate to his statement. I was glad Roxas didn't know I wasn't from this world- the last thing my friend needed was someone else to feel sorry for.

 **~Time-Skip~**

"Oh no you don't!" With a hit from my Keyblade, the Shadow disappeared before it could sink into the ground. I quickly turned and lunged toward the Scarlett Tangos and Possessors surrounding me, focusing on the enemies that were closest.

It was the day after I had talked with Roxas and Axel on top of the clock tower, and I was in Twilight Town for a heart collection assignment. I'd arrived at the Grey Area later than usual this morning, so I hadn't seen either of my friends since the day before. I hoped they'd both be at the clock tower later.

At that moment, however, I needed to focus on my mission.

I slashed at the Possessors, careful to not get too close. One of the Scarlet Tangos aimed an attack, which I quickly blocked. Barely a second later, another Shadow rose out of the sandy ground and swiped at me with its needlelike claws. I bit my bottom lip in pain before spinning around and attacking the Heartless, defeating it with only a few hits. It was kind of scary how easy fighting came to me now, although I definitely wasn't as skilled or strong as anyone else in the Organization yet. Still, it took me about five minutes until the group of Heartless that had been surrounding me only moments before were defeated.

After a short pause to catch my breath and gulp down a potion (I was going to miss potions when I left this world... They were like the coffee of the Kingdom Hearts universe), I continued my search for Heartless. I left the Sandlot and made my way toward the Side Street.

After only a couple of steps, however, I stopped suddenly. Was that Axel up ahead? Had he been assigned here too?

Then I noticed the person lying on the ground near my tall friend, and I felt as if the ground had suddenly opened up beneath me and I was hovering over a bottomless abyss. Had something horrible happened? Was he-?

" _ROXAS!_ " I cried, running over as fast as I was able to. "Axel, what happened?" My blond friend's eyes were still closed, but now that I was closer I could see he was breathing. He wasn't dead. Relief washed over me, only to be replaced with worry and panic again. Had he gone into another coma or something? Had this happened in the game? I tried to remember, but my mind was racing. "What _happened_?!" I asked again, practically begging for the answer.

"Alexa, calm down," Alex warned me. "He just collapsed. He should be fine."

"People aren't supposed to just randomly collapse!" I argued, forgetting that my friend was technically 'only a Nobody.'

Axel didn't correct me. "We were sent to Castle Oblivion for our mission today, and Roxas passed out practically the second we walked in. Said something about pictures rushing into his head." Despite the causal tone of his voice, my tall friend's eyes were darkened with worry and his usual smirk had been replaced by a frown. "I had to get him out of there... Not sure why I came here, though."

I remembered this from the game now. Roxas would be fine, and then he'd run into Riku, and... I couldn't remember what happened after that. Relief flooded through me again.

Before I could respond to Axel, Roxas suddenly sat up with a cry that startled me so much I jumped. "RIKU!" His eyes were open now, and he was out of breath as he looked around in confusion.

Axel didn't seem startled at all, calmly asking: "Whoa, you okay there?"

Roxas glanced between Axel and I, his huge blue eyes somehow even bigger than usual. "What... What happened to me?" he asked, looking around again. "Are we in Twilight Town? Why are you here, Alexa?"

I waited a few seconds for Axel to answer, but when he didn't I spoke up. "Axel brought you here. Apparently you collapsed at Castle Oblivion. Do you remember what happened?"

Roxas looked down, shaking his head. "I remember entering the castle, but... that's it." He stood up, turning to face Axel.

"Careful!" I warned him.

Axel nodded in agreement. "You should rest for a bit."

"I'm fine," our blond friend assured us with a small smile. "We need to go back to Castle Oblivion. Axel and I do, at least. By the way, why are you here Alexa?"

"Oh, right! I was here on heart collection when I saw you and Axel," I explained, shuddering as I remembered that scary moment.

I saw Roxas glance hopefully at Axel, and our tall friend immediately shook his head in reply. "Oh, no. We are not going back there after what hap-" He suddenly broke off, turning around. I did the same, gasping in surprise as I saw two black-cloaked figures standing in the street. One of them was definitely Xion, guessing from her height and build, while the taller one had to be Riku. It was almost as if Roxas had summoned the silver-haired boy by shouting his name a few moments ago.

"Xion?" Roxas called hopefully, and I glanced toward him. His eyes shone with hope as he watched the smaller of the two figures, but that hope faded as Xion turned around and summoned a dark corridor. "Wait!" Roxas protested, running after our friend. Just before he reached the shadowy portal, however, the larger of the two hooded figures blocked his path. "Get out of the way!" my friend growled, his tone so fierce it scared me. I glanced over at Axel, who was quietly watching the scene with a concerned expression. _Should I go over toward Roxas, or stay here?_ I wondered silently.

I had barely finished that thought before Roxas shouted "Hey! Come back!" and ran after Riku. Well, now I didn't have a choice. I followed my friend as he headed into Tunnel Number Three, chasing after the hooded figure who had prevented him from reaching Xion. Guessing from the footsteps behind me, Axel was following, too. I couldn't afford to glance back and make sure some random person wasn't following us, afraid I'd lose sight of my friend and become lost in the tunnels forever. Despite its cheery color and frequent signs, the tunnel system underneath Twilight Town still made me uneasy. The yellow light that filled the corridors was harsh and unnatural, not at all like the beautiful sunlight aboveground.

I followed Roxas as he chased Riku through the maze of tunnels, amazed at how fast he could run. I could barely keep up with him, but I was too scared to let him out of my sight. My tall friend had passed me, and now I was running after Axel who was following Roxas who was chasing Riku... We must have been quite a sight, racing through the tunnels, Roxas attacking the hooded stranger at every opportunity to do so. "Don't hurt him!" I kept warning my friend, but he didn't listen.

I thought the chase was over when the hooded figure seemed about to crash into a gate blocking off Tunnel Number Two, but the gate rose up and Riku ran under it, heading down into the tunnel. Of course, we all followed. I was out-of-breath and struggling to keep up, but I wasn't about to be left behind!

The air was damp and sticky as we raced down the stairs into the lowest tunnel, making even harder for me to breath. I had to stop, gasping for air as Roxas continued attacking the cloaked stranger. "Who are you?" he demanded, blue eyes glaring fiercely as Riku dodged his Keyblade. "Just answer me!" I had never heard so much hostility in my friend's voice.

Axel wasn't doing anything to stop Roxas, although he wasn't helping either. He simply stood next to me and watched.

"Roxas, stop!" I cried as soon as I had caught my breath, running over to my friend. Yes, I know, running into the middle of a fight isn't exactly the best idea. I was too afraid that either Roxas or Riku would get hurt to care. I didn't really know a lot about Riku (I knew even less about him than I did Sora, actually), but I did know that he was important. He was Sora's best friend, after all.

My friend heard my protest and paused just as he was about to strike, glancing back toward me. Riku took this opportunity to literally disappear, seemingly vanishing into thin air. By the time Roxas looked back, it was too late. "No! He got away!" He glared at me, as if it was all my fault. Well, it kinda was, but oh well. The look in his eyes scared me.

The sound of a Dark Corridor opening suddenly echoed through the tunnel, coming from the direction of Tunnel Number One. Roxas bolted in that direction, with me following right behind him. I could hear Axel's footsteps pursuing us as well. As the exit of the tunnel came into sight, I saw the wisp of shadow left behind as the Corridor closed. Roxas skid to a stop, staring at the empty space with anger and confusion in his gaze. I didn't know what to say to calm him down.

"I thought the Organization imposter had been sighted in Castle Oblivion," Axel muttered as he walked past me and stood next to Roxas. "So what was he doing here?"

Rosa's didn't seem to have heard him, still staring at where Riku had vanished. "Xion..." I heard him mutter softly, his voice so sad it broke my heart. Or, would have broken it, if I had one. I wasn't sure if I did or not.

I walked closer to my friends, standing next to Roxas. "Don't worry, we'll find her again," I assured my friend.

"There ain't no way that was Xion," Axel protested.

Roxas finally looked away from the tunnel exit and turned toward our tall friend. "The smaller one was. The one who escaped before."

I nodded in agreement. "It had to be her."

"But... I don't get it. Why would she run from us?" Roxas questioned, shaking his head in confusion.

I couldn't think of anything to say in response to that, so I simply shrugged. "I don't know."

"At least we know she's safe now, right?" Axel pointed out. "C'mon, let's go over to the clock tower."

"I can't," I reluctantly answered. "I have to finish my mission. You guys go ahead without me though, I shouldn't be too much longer."

"Want me to help you?" Roxas offered.

I quickly shook my head. "No, but thank you. You already completed your mission, it's my job to finish my own.

"Okay, if you're sure," my blond friend replied with a shrug. "See you later."

"Let us know if you see the impostor again," Axel requested as he summoned a Dark Corridor.

I nodded and gave a quick wave before walking toward Tunnel Number Two's exit. We had passed by a few Heartless on our way down here, so I figured I'd take care of the Heartless in the tunnels and then meet up with my friends. Piece of cake, as long as I didn't get lost. And even if I did, as long as I followed the signs painted on the walls I should be fine.

I quickly walked up the steps back to the main tunnels, summoning my Keyblade as I reached the top. Thankfully I wasn't out-of-breath anymore, and my legs weren't too terribly tired.

I won't bore you with the details of the rest of my mission, but I do have to tell you about what happened at the end of it.

After I had defeated every Heartless I could find, I walked through the tunnels a few more times just to make sure. I had only gotten lost once so far, and I had just kept going until I found another sign and was able to figure out where I was. The tunnels weren't that confusing once you got used to them.

"Pretty sure I got them all," I muttered aloud to myself. Even my quiet mumlbing echoed through the tunnels, creating a slightly creepy atmosphere despite the harsh light that filled the corridors. "Guess I can head over to the clock tower now."

I was just about to summon a Dark Corridor when suddenly a voice rang through the tunnel. "Alexa."

I let out a cry of surprise and spun around, gasping when I saw the hooded figure standing before me. It had to be Xion. "Xi-Xion?" I managed to stutter out, still startled.

"I know what you're trying to do," the figure told me quietly. I couldn't see her face from under her hood's shadow, but I knew it was my dark-haired friend. It had to be. "It won't work."

"Huh?" I replied, confused. What exactly was Xion talking about? Where had she come from, anyway? I hadn't heard a Corridor appear.

"Some things no one can change. This is one of them," the figure continued. "Sometimes... you just have to let things happen."

Was she talking about- no way. "What are you talking about?" _She couldn't be referring to changing the events of the timeline... could she?_ "Please, can't you be a little less vague?"

But my friend turned around, a Dark Corridor appearing in front of her. "Trying to change what's destined to happen will only get you more deeply involved in destiny," she warned before disappearing.

"Xion, wai-" I was too late. The shadowy portal closed behind my friend before I could follow or stop her. I could only stand there dumbly, the words my friend had spoken running through my mind on a loop. It sounded suspiciously like she had been talking about the video game's end. What else could she be referring to? But how could she know about that? It made no sense!

I sighed in frustration, summoning a Corridor of my own. If Xion had been talking about changing the timeline... Did that mean that trying to save her and Roxas was a bad idea? _"Trying to change what's destined to happen will only get you more deeply involved in destiny,"_ she had warned me. Was that a bad thing? I wasn't sure what to do with her advice. If she hadn't been talking about changing the timeline, then what exactly was she referring to?

 _I should tell Axel next time we meet at the island_ , I decided as I walked through the shadowy portal. _Maybe he'll know what Xion meant._

 **~Time-Skip~**

That night, I had another dream.

Unfortunately, like that first dream I had had so long ago, I couldn't remember what it was about. I just knew I had dreamed, and sometimes I'd feel like I had remembered something about it, but then it would vanish from my memory.

It was driving me crazy.

And as if that wasn't already enough to worry about, Xion's words from the day before were imprinted into my brain, repeating themselves over and over again on a loop. Once in awhile Axel's voice would interrupt: _"Alexa, you need to decide. Do you want to sit back and let the timeline play out, or do you want to change it? Do you want to watch your friends fade away, or do you want to save them?"_

It was now day 298. Another day closer to the end of the game. And I still wasn't any closer to the answer of how to save my friends.

I was on my way to the Grey Area when I spotted Roxas up ahead. I started to call out to him, but quickly closed my mouth as I spotted two more figures deep in conversation further down the hall. Saïx and Axel. From where my friend was watching, he couldn't be seen by the others. I hurried to join him.

Roxas glanced over at me as I approached, mouthing the word "quiet." I nodded in understanding, and we both turned our attention to the other members' conversation.

Saïx was speaking. "...now that Xion has had contact with that man in the black coat." His eyes flickered over to the corner where Roxas and I were hiding, and I realized my blond friend was standing too close to the edge. Saïx had spotted his arm.

I nudged Roxas, whispering "We've been noticed. Just walk up to them so we don't look suspicious." He replied with a nod, and together we walked toward the two older Organization members. Saïx exchanged a glance with Axel before walking off, not even acknowledging us. Rude.

"Um, Axel?" Roxas timidly spoke up as we approached our tall friend. "What-"

But the tall redhead didn't give my friend a chance to finish before walking off, avoiding eye contact with either of us.

I glanced over at Roxas, who was frowning at the spot where Axel had been moments before. "What were they talking about?" he muttered, hands tightening into fists. "What about Xion? And that man we saw yesterday?"

"I'm not sure," I replied, which was the truth. I honestly couldn't remember anything about this from the video game. "We should go get our missions for the day. Saïx will be upset if we're late. We can ask Axel about it later."

Roxas reluctantly agreed, and we continued on our way to the Grey Area.

The large room was oddly empty as we entered, occupied only by Saïx, as usual, and Axel. Roxas and I approached the blue-haired man, with me trailing slightly behind.

"Xion has betrayed us," Saïx announced as we neared him.

His declaration stopped Roxas in his tracks. "What?! No!" my friend protested, his blue eyes even larger than normal in surprise.

The scar-faced man remained calm despite Roxas's outburst. "You saw the creature consorting with that imposter. What more evidence do we need?" His eyes were like icy flames as he spoke, gazing seriously at my blond friend. I wasn't sure what 'consorting' meant, but I guessed it wasn't good. I was also upset with him for calling Xion a 'creature.'

"That's not evidence!" Roxas's shout echoed through the room, making me wince. "Who knows why she's with him?"

I nodded in agreement to show my support of my friend. I didn't really know what to say because... Well... Hadn't Xion actually betrayed the Organization? I'd be lying if I argued that she hadn't. And while I had gotten more comfortable with lying, it still wasn't right.

Roxas looked toward Axel, expecting him to agree as well, but the tall redhead was leaning against the window, arms crossed, avoiding our gazes.

"I think we all know. You just don't want to accept it," Saïx stated. I glared at him, but his gaze was locked onto Roxas.

My blond friend hung his head, shoulders slumping. "He might be forcing her," he muttered softly.

"Ha!" Saïx voice rose in volume, startling me. "Spare me your repulsive displays of would-be sentiment."

Roxas looked up sharply. "It's not a display!" he shouted. "Why is it such a crime to give Xion the benefit of the doubt?"

"Yeah!" I agreed.

Axel walked over, shaking his head. Before he could say anything, however, Saïx spoke again.

"The imposter has resurfaced in Twilight Town. Go and destroy him, Roxas- like I expected you and Axel to do yesterday. Alexa, you will go with him."

 _Destroy?_ I blinked. That seemed so harsh. I didn't want to hurt anyone!

 _But wait a second...in the video game, the day after Roxas and Axel ran into Riku... the next day was..._

I gasped in horror. _No. Nononono! Please let me be wrong!_ But I knew I was correct. Today was day 298- the day Xion threateningly points her Keyblade at Roxas, and everything falls apart.

Today was truly the beginning of the end.

 **Author's Note:**

 **I know that chapter wasn't the best, but I really hope you still liked it. I can't believe this story is up to the events of day 298 already! The end of the video game keeps coming closer and closer...**

 **I'd really appreciate it if you left a review telling me what you thought of this chapter. Thank you so much for reading! :)**


	25. Chapter 25: Fracture

**Author's Note:**

 **I'm so sorry this chapter took so long! I've been super busy with school and stuff, and I don't have nearly as much time to write anymore. :( I also thought this chapter would be a lot longer, but apparently it's less than 4,400 words? Oh well, hopefully it's still a good length! I really hope y'all like it!**

 **THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR OVER 8,300 VIEWS SO FAR! Y'all are awesome!**

 **Disclaimer:** **I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the dialogue, worlds, characters, or ANYTHING from the games/mangas/novels. Got it memorized?**

 **Chapter Twenty-Five: Fracture**

 _Today was truly the beginning of the end._

Panic flooded through me as I thought of what the day ahead would bring- Xion threatening Roxas, Axel attacking our dark-haired friend, my friends' trust in each other being ripped to shreds.

I had to stop it. I had to figure out a way to prevent all that from happening. And I had to figure out how to do so fast.

Saïx and my friends were still talking, but I couldn't make sense of their words. Everything sounded so far away and distorted, except for my own breathing which was almost deafening in volume. My throat felt so tight it was amazing I could breath at all.

"Alexa? Alexa! Are you ready to go?" Roxas's voice jolted me out of my panicked state. Saïx had walked off, and Axel was leaving through a Dark Corridor. I had missed the rest of their conversation.

"I..." Was I ready to face the horrible day ahead? Then again, it wasn't going to be horrible, because I'd think of something! I'd come up with some way to prevent the awful events that were destined to happened.

Only problem... I had no idea how.

"Let's go," I told my blond friend. _If only I'd had a chance to talk with Axel before he left,_ I thought. _Too late now. Always too late. Why am I so hesitant to do anything?!_

Roxas summoned a Dark Corridor, frowning as he glanced over at me. "You okay? You're really pale."

"I'm fine," I assured him, stepping into the shadows of the Corridor. My friend followed, and we made our way toward Twilight Town in silence.

As we stepped out into the Side Street, Roxas stopped just before the long flight of stairs that led down to the Sandlot. "Which way?"

And then I came up with a plan. It just popped into my head, without me having to really even think about it. It just... appeared.

"Let's split up," I told him. "You head toward Station Heights, and I'll go down to the Sandlot. Meet ya at Station Plaza."

Roxas frowned. "Are you sure splitting up is a good idea? The imposter guy seems pretty strong..."

"I'll be fine," I told him, summoning my Keyblade as proof. "Unless you're the one who you think isn't strong enough...?"

"No way. I could take care of that guy blindfolded," my friend shot back, summoning his weapon as well.

"Good. Then splitting up it is."

I started down the steps, but Roxas's voice made me pause two steps down. "Alexa..."

I turned around to face him. "Yeah?" _Please don't let him have changed his mind about splitting up,_ I silently begged the universe.

"Just... be careful. I have a bad feeling about this."

 _So do I,_ I wanted to tell him. Instead, I simply forced a smile. "I will. You be careful, too."

"Hey, I'm always careful!"

"Yeah, right!" I retorted before turning around and continuing down the stairs. I had to hurry if I wanted to find Xion before Roxas did.

That was my plan, or part of it anyway- to find Xion and keep her away from Axel. Hopefully Roxas would take long enough in his search for the imposter that he wouldn't run into Xion, and the whole 'Xion-points-her-Keyblade-at-Roxas' scene would be avoided. Maybe this simple change would be enough to completely alter the timeline!

... I really doubted it, though. My plan wasn't that great, but I had to do _something_!

As I hopped off the last step down into the sandlot, at least a dozen unnaturally dark shadows formed on the ground. Large blue-black creatures rose from the darkness, several pairs of glowing yellow eyes locked onto me. _Shadows!_ I quickly lunged at the ones closest to me before they could attack. Unfortunately, this left me open to attacks from the other Shadows. I let out a small hiss of pain as claws scratched my arms and back, quickly switching to defensive instead of offensive. _Maybe splitting up was a bad idea after all,_ I thought as I struggled to block attack after attack from every direction. I was hopelessly outnumbered, unable to even get an attack in without getting scratched by the dark Heartless surrounding me.

I didn't know what to do. I could only fend the Shadows off for so long before my strength wore out. I was surrounded, with no way to escape.

It was hopeless.

Panic flooded through me as I tried to see through the mob of Shadows and figure out an escape route, but these were Megashadows and there were too many of them. All I could see was the blue-black Heartless and their beady glowing eyes. They were a wall between me and freedom. Between me and a possible change in the timeline. Between me and my hope for a happy ending for my friends.

Apparently, this was _my_ ending. There was no way I could defeat all these Shadows by myself. If I defeated one and made a slight, small opening in their wall, they immediately shifted so the gap was filled. It was almost like I was fighting one giant Heartless instead of a few dozen smaller ones.

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't keep blocking attacks forever. Was this game over? After everything I had been through, all the giant Heartless I had fought and survived, was I seriously going to be killed by Shadows?

"Help," I muttered quietly, the word slipping out by itself. "Please, help." I didn't know who I expected to come save me, but I wasn't really thinking rationally. I was scared.

And then the Heartless suddenly burst into flames.

Seriously, just like that. One second I was hopelessly surrounded, and the next thing I knew, the Shadows burst into flames in large groups. After a few seconds, the fire died down and faded into nothing, leaving behind faint wisps of smoke that floated up and disappeared. Through the smokey air, I could see a figure in a black cloak identical to my own fleeing toward the Tram Common.

 _Xion._ It had to be my dark-haired friend. She had saved me. Had she been watching me since I arrived here at Twilight Town? Or had she simply accidentally run into me and decided to help out? The fire that had engulfed the Heartless had to be from her.

"Hey, wait!" I cried, dismissing my weapon and running after my friend. Unfortunately, I was already out-of-breath from the fight against the Shadows, and I couldn't run very fast. I was gasping for air, barely managing to keep sight of Xion as she ran through the Common. "Come back!"

The black-cloaked figure turned a corner up ahead, and I knew they had just run into a dead end. Actually, it was the same exact dead end where Xion had threateningly held her Keyblade toward Roxas in the video game. I nervously kept my distance from my friend as I followed, not wanting her to do the same to me.

I was too out-of-breath to talk for several moments, but as soon as I could speak I gasped out "Xi-Xion?"

My friend had her back to me, facing the corner of the small dead-end section of the street. Slowly, she reached up and lowered her hood, revealing familiar short dark hair. As she hesitantly turned toward me, I saw sadness and confusion in her eyes. I hated seeing her look so depressed. I had to do something to save her!

"Xion, you've gotta stay away from Axel," I warned. "He'll bring you back to the Organization, and-" I broke off, unable to remember exactly why that was bad. _Maybe it would be worse if she stayed with Riku,_ I wondered. I wish I could remember the video game better! What was I supposed to do?!

My dark-haired friend's frown deepened. "You... you don't want me to come back?" Her voice was so quiet I had to strain to hear as she looked down, avoiding eye contact.

"No, that's not it! I'd love for you to come back, but-" I broke off, not sure how to finish without telling Xion something she shouldn't know. "Xion, how much do you kn- I mean, what did you mean yesterday? In the tunnels. Please, I need to know!"

My friend shook her head slightly. "I know you're the only one who can change Roxas's fate. Mine is set in stone, but Alexa- you can save him. He doesn't have to fade away."

Her words shocked me. "How? How do you know? Please, tell me!" I knew I was begging, but I was desperate to learn how to save my friend.

To my disappointment, Xion shook her head again. "I don't know. Only you can figure that out."

"But who told you this?" I was growing frustrated at my friend's vague answers. Why couldn't she just tell me?!

Xion hesitated, still not looking up. "I-"

"Xion? Alexa?"

I jumped in surprise, my Keyblade appearing in my hand as I spun toward the voice that had spoken from behind me. I already knew who it was. Horror and fear shot through me as I met the shocked gaze of the newcomer. How long had he been there...?

 _"Ro-Roxas?"_

My blond friend held my gaze briefly before looking past me toward Xion. "Xion, we've been looking everywhere for you."

"You have? Sorry," our dark-haired friend said softly, staring down at the stony ground.

"It's okay. I'm just glad Alexa found you. Now you can come home. If you come back voluntarily, I'm sure Saïx will let all this drop. He has to." Roxas's kind smile was unnoticed by Xion, who refused to look up at him. Panic started to flood through me as I desperately tried to think of a way to avoid the scene I knew was about to happen.

Xion shook her head. "I really can't."

Roxas's relieved, happy expression was replaced by a frown. "What do you mean? Of course you can. You can always come back."

 _THINK ALEXA, THINK!_ I mentally urged myself, knowing time was running out. Any second now...

"I don't care what Saïx said to you," Roxas continued, his kind smile returning. "Axel, Alexa, and I- we're your friends. We'll be there for you." He reached out to take Xion's hand, and I quickly grabbed his arm to stop him. He shot me a surprised glance.

"Just give her some space," I told him, noticing Xion take a couple of steps backward. "She obviously doesn't want to come back to the Organization." Not like I could blame her for that.

"That's not true!" my blonde friend protested, pulling his arm free from my grasp. He turned to face me, frowning. "Of course she wants to come back. She just thinks she can't, because of stupid Saïx! Right, Xion?"

She didn't reply, still looking down. Her hair hid her face, making her expression unreadable. "Roxas... Don't come any closer," she warned, her voice still barely above a whisper.

"Huh?" Our blond-haired friend's frown deepened at Xion's command. "Xion, what's-"

"Roxas, she wants to be left alone. Let her be," I told him gently. I hated this. I hated seeing Roxas so upset and confused, and Xion so depressed and shy.

He shook his head. "I don't get it. Why won't you come back? We've been worried about you. We've searched all the worlds over and over again looking for you. I'm not going to just let you run off again!"

I could tell Xion was getting nervous. I had to get Roxas out of there before she-

My blond friend took a step closer toward Xion, reaching out for her hand. "Xion-"

"Roxas, no!" I cried, but it was too late. Xion summoned her Keyblade, holding it at her side. I felt my own weapon appear in my hand as if it had willed itself there. Without thinking I stood between my two friends, holding up my Keyblade to block any attack Xion might make. The situation I had so desperately tried to avoid had somehow managed to happen anyway. I was worried Roxas and Xion would fight right then and there. "Xion, you don't have to do this! You don't have to come back with us if you don't want to!" It was too late. The damage had been done. Xion hadn't actually pointed her weapon at Roxas, but she had summoned it, and that was bad enough.

Our friend finally looked up, her ocean-blue gaze meeting my own. "I-"

Suddenly a flaming object sailed through the air, landing dangerously close to Xion's right foot. My friend jumped back, her Keyblade held up defensively. I did the same, while Roxas jumped back in surprise. As the fire surrounding the object faded away, I recognized it as one of Axel's weapons. Oh no. This was bad.

Sure enough, the tall redhead appeared from around the corner. "Hello there, Xion," he greeted our dark-haired friend. His tone was the exact opposite of friendly, and his mouth was curved down into a frown. The look in his eyes scared me- they were so bright, so intense.

"Axel?" Roxas glanced between Xion and the newcomer, confused. "What are you doing-"

"You heard my orders earlier, Roxas," Axel interrupted. To my horror, the weapon lying on the ground vanished, only to reappear in Axel's hand. I stepped in front of Xion, terrified but knowing that I just couldn't let Axel hurt her! I know he wouldn't kill her or anything, but still! Hurting your friends is _not_ okay.

"Alexa, move out of the way," Axel warned.

I tried to stop my arms from shaking as I held my Keyblade defensively. "I'm not going to let you hurt Xion!" I didn't want to fight Axel, knowing he could easily defeat me without even trying, but at that moment I was willing to do nearly anything to protect my friends. No idea where that sudden bravery came from.

Our dark-haired friend ran toward the exit of the dead end, passing right by Axel. As he turned to follow, I hurried to block him. "Axel, let her go!"

The tall redhead's eyes narrowed as he met my gaze. "Sorry, kid. I have orders."

"Ignore the orders!" I begged. I desperately looked over toward Roxas, who was watching in stunned silence. I couldn't really blame him. To him, it must have appeared like all his best friends had suddenly turned on each other.

Axel shook his head slightly, drawing my attention back to him. "I can't do that. Get out of the way."

"No!"

"You're making this way harder than it has to be!" The redhead raised his weapons, and although my instincts were screaming at me to MOVE OUT OF THE WAY, I stood my ground. I had a feeling that it wouldn't be good if Axel caught up with Xion. "Look, I don't want to hurt you, so just move!"

"Leave Xion alone!"

I could see the uncertainty flickering in my friend's mint-green gaze, and hope rose up within me.

However, that hope was short-lived. My tall friend moved to attack, and I desperately held up my Keyblade to block him, my eyes closing as I braced myself against the blow I knew was coming.

"Axel, no!" Roxas's cry echoed off of the buildings surrounding us, but he was too late. I heard the strike of metal against metal...

Wait a second. There was no weight pressing against my Keyblade.

I opened my eyes, gasping in shock as I saw Xion standing in front of me, her Keyblade blocking Axel's attack. "Xion!" She must have appeared through a Dark Corridor. But how had she known Axel was about to strike? Had she been watching us from somewhere? "Xion, run!"

But my friend didn't seem to hear me, as she was busy dodging another attack from the tall redhead. "Axel, stop!" I begged, rushing over to defend Xion.

"What is going ON?!" Roxas yelled in frustration, glancing between his three fighting friends.

I tried to get between Axel and our dark-haired friend, but they were moving so fast it was nearly impossible. "Stop, please!" I begged again, but my plea was ignored.

"I don't get it! Why are you all fighting?!" Roxas looked so confused and... scared. I had never really seen a trace of fear in my blond friend's huge blue eyes until now, and I felt sick as I realized that we, his best friends, were the cause of that fear.

"Axel, _LISTEN TO ME_! You don't want to do this!" I cried, trying to get the tall redhead's attention. I noticed he hesitated slightly with his next attack and felt a flicker of hope again.

Unfortunately, like before, that hope turned out to be misleading.

 **"STOP!"** Roxas shouted suddenly, the echo of his words ringing through the small dead-end. To my horror, Xion paused and glanced over toward him.

 _Oh no, it's just like in the video game!_ I thought as I yelled "Xion, look out!"

But I was too late. Always too late. Axel struck our dark-haired friend in the back of the neck while she was distracted, knocking her out instantly. I could only watch in horror as he caught Xion and met my gaze as the wispy shadows of a Dark Corridor began to form behind him.

"You shouldn't have done that," I muttered angrily as I returned his stare. To my surprise, the look in his icy mint eyes was almost an apology- not a challenge, like I had expected. "You really shouldn't have done that!" But even as I spoke those words, I knew the opposite was actually true. He was only doing what he was supposed to do, what should have happened. The timeline was still determined to happen even with a new character in the story.

The tall redhead looked away and walked into the now fully-forned corridor, disappearing as it closed behind him.

"Axel... Why?" Roxas muttered, a look of betrayal and and confusion on his face as he stared at the space where our two friends had been a moment ago."Why were you all fighting? Why was Xion acting so... weird? How could Axel have done that her?!" I noticed a note of anger in his voice, and knew I needed to calm him down before he decided to find Axel and attack him or something.

"She just didn't want to come back with us," I told him gently. I felt so horrible and guilty about everything that had happened. I had tried to change the timeline so Roxas wouldn't have to watch two of his best friends fight, but instead he ended up having to watch all three of us. I had been unable to change anything.

So what was the point of me even being there?!

"I don't get it," my blond friend muttered, his eyes shining brightly as he turned toward me. It almost looked as if his eyes were filled with unshed tears- but Roxas didn't cry until later in the video game, so that was impossible. "We're her friends. Why didn't she want to come with us?"

I wasn't really sure how to reply to that, so I simply said "I'm sure she has her reasons."

Roxas sighed and shook his head slightly. "I... I never thought I'd have to watch you guys fight each other. You're my best friends." The brightness in his eyes faded as he narrowed them. "I'm gonna go look for Axel. He must have taken Xion back to the castle."

I hesitated, unsure if I should let Roxas go or offer to go with him. Hadn't he gone looking for Axel in the video game? I was pretty sure he had. "Can I go with you?"

Roxas glanced over at me as he summoned a Corridor, a surprised expression on his face. "Sure."

So I followed him into the Dark Corridor and we headed toward the Castle that Never Was in silence, Roxas walking so fast I practically had to run to keep up with him. He seemed to be a mix of angry, betrayed, and confused- an awful lot of strong emotions for someone who wasn't even supposed to be able to feel anything. As for me, my emotions were such a confusing mess inside of me that I wasn't really sure how I felt.

Eventually we burst out of the Corridor into the Grey Area. Sure enough, our tall friend was walking toward the doorway. He didn't seem in any hurry.

"AXEL!" Roxas shouted, his cry echoing through the metal room so strongly I winced.

The tall redhead stopped walking and casually turned around. "Oh, hey, Roxas. And Alexa." He grinned like nothing was wrong, and I wondered why he even bothered with the act. Surely he knew that Roxas was upset with him? And me... I felt kind of betrayed. Axel hadn't listened to me when I'd begged him to stop.

"Where's Xion?" Roxas demanded, glaring up at Axel.

Axel's grin faded into a tight smile. "She's safe."

Roxas sighed in frustration and shook his head. "How could you do that to her?"

Now Axel was frowning. "Do what?"

Roxas's shoulders slumped. "You know. Fight her. Hurt her. You didn't have to use force."

"Didn't I? She had her weapon, Roxas. She was going to attack you."

"She wouldn't have hurt me! She's my friend. _Our_ friend! Friends don't hurt each other."

"You sure Xion's a friend, then?"

I had been watching their conversation in silence, but now I had to interrupt. "Don't say that! Of course Xion's our friend. She was just..." I trailed off, suddenly unsure what to say. Axel and Roxas's stares made me nervous.

"Well?" Axel prompted, and I felt my throat tighten. I couldn't speak.

"Thought so. Well, if that's all, I gotta go." Before either Roxas or I could say anything, Axel had turned around and exited the room.

"'If that's all?'" Roxas quoted through gritted teeth. "He doesn't care at all, does he?"

The tightness in my throat had vanished now. "Of course he does!" I protested, knowing it was true. Axel did care. He was just following orders...

...right?

 _Today might have ended up becoming one giant mess, but I know I'll come up with a way to fix things. I'm so close to the end, I have to do everything I can,_ I told myself silently. _I messed everything up today. It's my job to fix it._

 _After all, the end has begun._

"Don't worry, Roxas," I told my friend gently. "Axel said he had orders, remember? He was just doing what he was told. Xion's fine, I'm sure of it."

"But why is he acting like nothing's wrong?" Roxas muttered, shoulders slumped and head hanging down. "And why was Xion acting so weird in the first place? I don't get it. Why can't things just stay the same?" My friend looked up, his blue gaze meeting my own. I was shocked by the deep sadness in his normally bright eyes. It hurt me to see him so depressed. For a moment, a tiny little moment, I was upset with Axel for causing this. But then I remembered that it wasn't really his fault- it was mine. I was the only one who could change things, and I hadn't been doing a very good job of it so far.

The person I really needed to be angry at was myself.

"I'm sorry," I told Roxas, my voice barely above a whisper. "I am so, so sorry."

Confusion flickered in my friend's gaze. "Alexa, you haven't done anything."

 _Exactly,_ I thought. _I've been too scared and unsure to do anything to change your fate. I tried today, but look how that turned out. Is it too late? Xion said her fate was unchangeable, but I refuse to believe that. I'll save both of you, Roxas. I promise._

I shook my head slightly, forcing a small smile. "Thanks."

"See you tomorrow, I guess," Roxas told me as he turned toward the doorway.

"Yeah... See ya," I replied, deciding to stay behind for a few minutes. I needed to think.

The large room was completely empty now. Not even Saïx was there. I was alone. Yet it didn't feel that way I as I gazed out the huge window at the stars that shone in the sky surrounding the castle. I never felt alone when I looked at the night sky, unless it was a cloudy starless night. In the Kingdom Hearts universe, stars represented worlds, right? So maybe one of those stars out there was my home. That was a comforting thought. I choose the brightest star and imagined it was where I had come from. It was weird- back home, I had dreamed of going on an adventure. I wanted nothing more than to travel to a fictional land and escape my dull reality. My wish had come true, and now I longed to return to my old life.

I held my left hand against the cold window, the closest I could come to touching the stars. The scene from earlier kept replaying in my mind- Roxas confronting Xion, Axel chasing after her, Xion coming back and blocking Axel's attack.

 _"You're the only one who can change Roxas's fate,"_ Xion had told me. _"Mine is set in stone, but Alexa- you can save him. He doesn't have to fade away."_ How did she know about her fate? Had she... could she have possibly read my diary? Or maybe Axel had told her.

Poor Xion- if she really did know her canon destiny, she must be terrified. She didn't deserve so much fear, or such a horrible end!

"I'm not giving up on you," I whispered to the stars. "I must be here for a reason, and I'm determined to find out what that is. But I think I already know. I just want a happy ending for you guys, and I think it's my job to make that happen. What other reason could I be here for?"

With a small sigh, I lowered my hand from the window. Tomorrow was another day, another chance.

Only 60 more days until the end of the game. 60 more chances to make things right. 60 more sunsets.

I was determined now to save my friends. I knew I'd think of some way to get them a happy ending. I had to.

I had 60 more days, after all. That was plenty of time.

All the time in the world.

 **Author's Note:**

 **I'M SORRY THAT CHAPTER WAS SO DEPRESSING! I feel like I did a horrible job describing things this chapter. Hopefully it wasn't too bad! What did you think? Please leave a review! Thank you so much for reading!**

 **Due to school and stuff, the next chapter won't be finished for awhile... Probably at least three weeks. I'm sorry! D: The next few chapters are going to be pretty long, though, so hopefully they'll be worth the wait!**


	26. Chapter 26: Confusion

**Author's Note:**

 **I FINALLY FINISHED THIS CHAPTER! It took me a seriously long time to write! I'm so sorry about the wait! :( I have so little time to write now due to school and stuff, and writer's block doesn't help! :( This chapter isn't quite as long as I hoped it'd be, but I really hope y'all like it!**

 **THANK Y'ALL SO MUCH FOR 150 REVIEWS AND 50 FOLLOWERS! Seriously, I really appreciate every review, favorite, and follow! They mean so much to me! :)**

 **I can't believe it's been only one day short of a year since I joined Fanfiction (October 3, 2016). I wanted to write a special story for tomorrow, but I haven't had the time, so I guess this chapter will have to do. Just wanted to say THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who takes the time to read my stories, I really appreciate it! :)**

 **My writing style has changed and (hopefully) improved so much since I first started writing this story that I now cringe whenever I look back over older chapters. Since the first chapter of a story is really important (in my opinion), I've gone back and rewritten it. Not a whole lot has changed, I just fixed up some parts so they'd make more sense, as well as corrected a few errors and added a couple new things. I'm replacing the old chapter immediately after I post this one, so go and check it out if you'd like! I'm just letting y'all know in case you happen to go back to chapter one and notice it's slightly different.**

 **From now on, I'll be replying to guest reviews at the end of each chapter!**

 **Anyways, sorry for the long author's note! Here's chapter 26!**

 **Disclaimer:** **I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Disney, or any of the dialogue, worlds, characters, or ANYTHING from the games/mangas/novels. Got it memorized?**

 **Chapter Twenty-Six: Confusion**

Time is really weird, isn't it?

When you're excited about something, the minutes leading up to it can feel like hours. But when you dread something, the opposite occurs. Like how back home, every school day seemed like it would never end. Summer vacation, however, always felt like it was over before I even had time to blink. One moment I was walking out of the school's doors, leaving behind all my stresses and worries, and the next I was nervously walking right back through those doors, weighed down by a backpack filled with new notebooks and other supplies.

The next couple of days after Xion was captured by Axel were definitely fast-moving days. My missions seemed to go by quicker than ever, and the clock tower was always empty. I didn't see Axel for awhile, although I did go looking for him on day 299. There were so many things I wanted to ask him! But he was nowhere to be found. I gave up, returning to the castle in defeat.

I saw Roxas in the Grey Area here and there, but we didn't really talk much. There just wasn't much to be said.

That little voice in my mind was back, whispering all the things I just wanted to forget. _Time is running out_ , it warned me. _Running out, running out, soon there will be none left. Save your friends, save Sora, save the worlds. And do it fast._ It was chanted like a song in my head, playing over and over on a loop. I felt like I was going insane. Maybe I was. But hey, at least it didn't rhyme!

I spent every spare second I could trying to come up with a plan. There had to be some way, some probably obvious way that was staring me in the face, to stop the events at the end of the video game from happening. The question was... how the heck was I supposed to figure out just what that way was?!

It was now day 300, and I was sitting alone on top of the clock tower. It was a good thinking spot, which was exactly what I needed at the moment.

 _It's weird,_ I thought as I gazed down at the town below. _Before I came to this world, I was like an entirely different person. I was more timid and afraid of everything, and now look at me! Here I am, sitting on top of a tower so tall that if I was standing on the ground below and looking up, I would hardly be able to see myself. I've defeated giant Heartless that used to scare me even before I saw them in person. Did that bravery really come from the loss of my heart- if I even did lose it? Does that mean that when I have a heart again, the fear will come back?_

Okay, so I still wasn't fearless. But I was a lot less afraid than I had been back home. It was like, I don't know- the universe somehow knew what would give me courage and plopped me down in this world so I could get stronger. Maybe this was only a training course for what was about to come.

But I really doubted that the universe cared about me that much. I was just one out of billions and billions of people, after all. I wasn't important or anything. And it's not like I was about to go on some epic quest once my time in the Kingdom Hearts universe was over.

 _Or are you?_ questioned the voice in my head. I ignored it, focusing on what I had come up here to do: coming up with a plan to save my friends without harming Sora.

One thought that kept running through my mind was that if I could simply prevent Roxas from confronting Riku, he wouldn't be defeated and end up in the digital Twilight Town. But I couldn't forget about Sora. He needed Roxas to merge with him to order to wake up. Was I really supposed to stand back and let my best friend die for someone we both barely knew? It was really frustrating! No matter what plan I came up with, I couldn't figure out how to wake up Sora without Roxas fading away. I really wished I knew more about Sora, and the Kingdom Hearts games in general. Why had I ended up in this universe with only the knowledge from one game and some online research? I had to be here by mistake. Just some glitch in time and space had sent me to this world.

But I still couldn't get rid of that small spark of hope that maybe I was here for a reason. Maybe I had been sent here to change things. Maybe it wasn't just a mistake.

I sighed, shaking my head. Why was I so unable to focus today? Then again, it seemed like my thoughts were always wandering around aimlessly. I had never been very good at speaking precisely. I tended to ramble, even in my head.

"How am I going to save them?" I muttered aloud, frustrated. "It can't be impossible, it just can't be!"

"Some things aren't quite impossible, but difficult enough to discourage you from doing them."

I nearly fell off the ledge of the clock tower as the unfamiliar voice spoke from behind me. Spinning around to face the stranger while barely managing to keep my balance, I had to grip the ledge so tightly my hands hurt to prevent myself from falling over as I faced the figure behind me.

Despite the fact that they were wearing the signature Organization XIII cloak with the hood up, I knew from their height that they weren't one of the older members. In fact, since I had come to recognize nearly everyone's voice in the Organization, they clearly weren't a member at all.

Which meant...

"Ri-" I barely caught myself before the entire word spilled from my mouth. I wasn't supposed to know who this stranger was, although I was positive it was Sora's best friend. Who else could it have been? "Wh-who are you?"

The figure was silent, reaching up and lowering their hood in reply. I couldn't hold back my gasp of surprise as I saw the stranger's silvery hair and blindfolded eyes. There was no mistaking them now. I bit my lip to keep myself from blurting out his name.

"You don't know my name?" The person, who I now knew was Riku, half-smiled as he took a step closer. I quickly stood up, not quite trusting the silver-haired boy. It was because of him that Roxas ended up in the digital Twilight Town in the video game. It was him who encouraged Xion to go back to Sora. From my research online, I knew that he had gone over to the dark side once- and while I firmly believed that people could change and start over, Riku had never really been one of my favorite characters in Kingdom Hearts. At the end of 358/2 Days, hadn't he given in to the darkness once again? I felt bad for him. It probably wasn't his fault. But yet... I just couldn't bring myself to trust him fully. "Come on, you almost said it a moment ago. Don't think I didn't notice."

"Riku," I muttered, not really knowing how else to respond. Why was he up on the clock tower? Surely he must have known that my friends often came up here. "What... What are you doing here?"

He didn't seem to have heard my question. "There we go. I knew you knew it. You know all kinds you things you shouldn't, after all." His half-smile curled up into a smirk.

I felt a flood of panic wash through me at his words. Did he know about where I was from? "Wh-what do you mean?" I stuttered nervously, probably seeming very suspicious.

"You know what I mean." Even though his eyes were covered by the strip of black cloth tied around his face, I felt like his gaze was seeing straight through me. "What you don't seem to know is that what you're trying to change is beyond your control."

 _How did he know about that?!_ I wondered, feeling nervous and uneasy. I took a step backward, almost losing my balance as I backed against the small ledge. I felt trapped, even though I easily could have run for the stairs or summoned a Dark Corridor if I needed to.

"Some events simply need to happen," Riku continued, his tone calm and even, yet serious. "Are you prepared to risk the safety of the worlds if you mess something up in your little plan?"

 _What plan?_ I thought as I nervously shook my head. "O-Of course not." I couldn't stop stuttering, no matter how hard I tried.

"Good. Because don't forget, there's a life at stake if you fail."

He had to mean Sora. Which meant he knew what I was attempting to do.

I felt sick. If Riku didn't approve of me changing the game's ending... If he tried to stop me...

It was hopeless.

 _How could he be so heartless?_ I wondered, just one of the many thoughts that were swirling around inside my panicking brain. _It's like he doesn't care about Xion and Roxas at all._

But then I realized that from his point of view, it probably seemed like I didn't care about Sora. Riku was just looking out for his friend.

"I'm not going to let anything bad happen to Sora," I promised the silver-haired teenager. "But I have to try to save my friends! Just like you don't want anything to happen to your best friend."

Riku frowned, seeming to consider my words. "There isn't a way for us to both get what we want," he warned.

"There has to be!" I argued. "There's always a way!"

Riku hesitated before shaking his head slightly. "You don't understand. There really is no other way. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices... Alexa."

It didn't really surprise me that he knew my name. After all, he seemed to know a lot about me already. Much more than he should.

"I'm not going to just stand back and let my friends fade away!" I shouted, starting to get upset. Riku didn't know what he was talking about. Saving Roxas and Xion was _not_ impossible! "You honestly expect me to let my friends die for someone I hardly even know? _No!_ " I felt my Keyblade appear in my hand, and I gripped it tightly. "Look, I know you've had a hard life, and I feel bad for you. But you can't let two innocent people die so your friend will live!" As I spoke those words, however, I remembered that the fate of the worlds depended on the brown-haired boy waking up when he was supposed to. It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair.

"You can't 'feel' anything," Riku replied calmly. "Special or not, you're still a Nobody. Nothing can change that."

Before I could reply, Riku held out his right hand to the side. I held my Keyblade up defensively, expecting his weapon to appear, but he simply summoned a Dark Corridor. "Remember what I told you," he advised, before turning and dissapearing into the shadowy portal.

Well. Now I had even more to think about.

I blinked in confusion as I lowered my weapon, allowing it to vanish. My thoughts were a confusing mess inside my head, and I wasn't exactly sure what to think. I stood there for a few seconds, staring absentmindedly at the wall of the clock tower as I tried to sort out my thoughts.

Riku didn't want me to change the timeline. He wanted my friends to fade away so Sora could wake up. If Sora didn't wake up when he was supposed to, who knew how that would effect all the worlds he was supposed to save? All the evil he was supposed to defeat? Maybe it wasn't Riku who was being selfish. Maybe it was me. Sora was so important, and my friends... while they were certaintly important to me, neither of them had quite an effect on the Kingdom Hearts timeline as Sora did.

Riku had said there wasn't a way for us to both get what we wanted, but I knew that wasn't true. It couldn't be true. There was always a way.

I just had no clue what it was.

"Alexa?"

Roxas's voice startled me so much I called my weapon back to my hand, holding it up defensively. Once I realized it was only my friend, I quickly dismissed it, blushing. "Sorry," I apologized. "I need to stop doing that."

"You're on edge today," my blond friend commented, a hint of concern hidden behind his teasing tone."Something happen on your mission?"

I shook my head. "Nope. Just a regular mission in Wonderland. 'Course, nothing's really 'regular' in that world, is it?"

Roxas shook his head, smiling faintly. "Not really." He sat down on the ledge, and I did the same. "You think Xion will come up here sometime? Or is she stuck in her room?

I shrugged. "I know Saïx would want to keep her in the Castle, but I'm sure Axel will let her have her freedom." _Plus,_ I added silently, _I know she comes up to the tower at some point after Axel captures her in the video game._

"So why hasn't she come up here yet?"

"I don't know," I mumbled, staring out at the sky. "Maybe she just needs time. She'll come to the tower when she's ready."

"Time for what?" Roxas muttered, the slightest trace of bitterness in his tone.

Before I could reply, the sound of a Dark Corridor appearing behind us caused me to turn around. For a horrible moment I thought maybe Riku had come back. If he and Roxas met early, that probably wouldn't be good. But it was Axel who stepped out of the shadows, not the silver-haired teenager.

"Hey," I greeted him, but he didn't respond. He sat down on the other side of Roxas in silence. I tried to hide my slight annoyance at being ignored. I'd been trying to find Axel for the past two days, and now that I finally saw him he wouldn't even talk to me?

 _Stop it. Life is hard for all of us right now,_ I reminded myself. _Give Axel a break._

To my surprise, another Dark Portal opened behind us. As I turned toward the sound, I was shocked to see Xion hesitantly step out. "Xion! Hi!" I exclaimed, moving over to make room between Roxas and I for our dark-haired friend. She smiled slightly at me as she sat down, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

Xion glanced over at Roxas, opening her mouth like she wanted to say something, but quickly closed it again.

Barely ten seconds later, I noticed Roxas do the same thing.

A silence had settled over us, peaceful and almost content, that no one wanted to break. It was a nice kind of quiet, broken only by the gentle wind ruffling our hair.

I couldn't shake Riku's words from my mind, and the thousands of questions that came with them. Most importantly, how did he know any of this?! Either Xion told him, or he had told her. But how would either of them know?! Even if Xion had read my diary, she seemed to know more than what I had written.

And, of course, I still had to save my friends.

I never was good at plans. I tended to just jump into things after asking a million questions and worrying about everything that could go wrong. But I couldn't really do that in this case. Without a plan, there was no way I'd ever manage to find a way to change the video game's ending.

I tried to stop thinking about my worries for a few minutes. I stared out at the beautiful sunset sky, a hundred times more amazing than it was in the video game. I mean, the graphics had been awesome in the game and all, but it still just wasn't the same as the real thing.

I really loved Twilight Town. I never wanted to leave it. Or my friends. I mean, of course I missed my friends and family back home, but this place- it was just so special to me. It had quickly become like a second home.

I just didn't know how long I'd be here. What if I disappeared right before the events at the end of the game? Maybe it was completely impossible for me to save my friends. Or maybe I'd never leave. Maybe this was my home world now. Could my universe have been destroyed, and I had ended up here instead of that other world- Traverse Town?

I really hoped my home world wasn't gone. The idea hurt me too much. To think of all the people and places and sounds I took for granted just being _gone_ \- it was scary.

I forced myself to stop thinking about all these depressing things and studied the colors of the sunset until my friends and I left the clock tower. I wanted to talk to Axel, but I couldn't exactly ask to talk to him alone in front of all my friends. I'd have to wait until tomorrow.

At least we were all together again. I couldn't tell for sure if Roxas had forgiven Axel or not, but I had a feeling he had.

 **~Time-Skip~**

You know how, some days, it seems like the universe hates you? I'm talking about those days where absolutely nothing goes your way. Those days where you wonder what you did to deserve this unhappiness.

But then a better day comes along, one where everything is almost perfect, and it makes the bad days seem a little bit better.

Day 301 definitely started out as one of those better days. After arriving in the Grey Area to find out my mission for the day, I was assigned heart collection at Beast's Castle- with Axel. I'd finally get to talk with him! Maybe the universe didn't hate me, after all.

My tall redheaded friend was standing by the window, arms crossed as he avoided my gaze. I got the feeling he wasn't happy with me for some reason. What had I done?

Slightly nervous, I walked toward Axel. Besides Saïx, we were the only ones in the large, mostly white room. "Hi! You ready to go?" I greeted him cheerfully.

My friend nodded slightly, uncrossing his arms. "You?"

"I'm ready! Let's go." I held out my left arm and summoned a Dark Corridor before Axel could. We made our way through the shadows in silence, Axel frowning slightly. Something was up.

Just before we exited the Corridor out into Beast's Castle, I broke the silence between us by asking "Can we meet at the islands after our mission?"

Axel hesitated. "I guess. Have you come up with a genius plan or something?"

I shook my head. "No, but time's running out, and we have to think of something!"

Axel sighed, running his hand through his hair. "I _have_ thought of things. We just can't agree on any of them."

"Because you don't seem to realize how important Sora is!"

"No one person can possibly be _that_ important," Axel responded calmly. "Anyways, since Roxas is his Nobody, doesn't that automatically make Roxas important?"

"Of course he's important! Without his sacrifice, Sora would never wake up."

"What about Xion?"

"...Same as Roxas."

"You hesitated." Axel's mint-green eyes seemed to almost glow in the portal's faint light as he eyed me.

"Well..." I nervously trailed off, unsure if I should tell him what I was thinking. "Xion told me something the day you captured her. She said..." I sighed, knowing there was no going back now. "She said that Roxas can be saved, but she can't. Somehow she knows stuff about the future... or at least, seems to. Do you know if she read my dairy or anything?"

My tall friend shrugged, frowning. "Xion knows? That's not good. Poor kid."

I nodded. "I don't think she's right though. Surely there's gotta be some way to save her!"

Axel didn't agree like I had expected him to. Instead, he turned toward the Corridor's exit. "We'd better get started on our mission."

"...Right," I agreed, following him. Did Axel believe that there was no way to save Xion? As we stepped out into the main entrance way of Beast's Castle, I suddenly realized he'd never answered my question about whether Xion had read my journal. Before I could ask him again, however, four Soldier Heartless appeared in front of us. My Keyblade materialized in my hand as I glanced at Axel, seeing his weapons appear as well. He nodded slightly, and we both lunged toward our enimes. The mission had officially begun.

 **~Time-Skip~**

With a final hit from my Keyblade, the Bad Dog Heartless vanished. My Keyblade glowed with warmth as the hearts it left behind were absorbed into the weapon.

"I think that was the last one," Axel declared, dismissing his weapons. I did the same with mine.

"Mission complete," I announced, fondly remembering the words that would appear on the screen in the video game. "Ready to head over to the islands?"

The tall redhead reached up and awkwardly ran his fingers through his spiky hair, avoiding my gaze. "I'm not so sure that's the best idea. Seems like all we ever accomplish in our little meetings is getting frustrated. Maybe it'd be best if we don't-"

"Time's running out!" I protested, shocked that Axel didn't seem to want to do anything. "Don't you want to save Roxas and Xion?!"

"Of course I do!" Axel snapped, turning toward me. The anger and frustration in his eyes scared me so much I took a step backward in fear. "But you're being impossible, Alexa! This isn't a game anymore. Heck, this never was a game to begin with. This is real life, and you need to start taking it seriously. Sure, in some game you played everyone got a happy ending-" I opened my mouth to argue how the ending of 358/2 Days was far from happy, but he kept talking. "-but the real world isn't like that!" His voice rose in volume until he was shouting, and he quickly lowered it so we wouldn't attract attention. "Sometimes you have to make sacrifices. Just what did Sora do to deserve to live while Roxas has to die? And what did Roxas do to deserve his fate? You're so convinced the 'Keyblade's chosen one' has to survive that you're willing to risk Roxas's life. What is _wrong_ with you? Does the life of your friend seriously mean less to you than someone you've never even met?! Unless..." He trailed off, studying me seriously. I flinched under his intense gaze. "... Maybe you're not who you say you are. Every time I think I trust you, you do or say something that causes me to think otherwise. Just **who are you?!** " Axel had lost his cool, his weapons reappearing in his hands.

I was silent, stunned by his words and scared by the anger in his flame-like eyes. "I-I'm exactly who I said I was!" I told him, nervously taking another step back. My Keyblade was practically begging to appear in my hand, but I fought the instinct. "I just- I don't want entire worlds to suffer so one person can live!"

"You don't know that'll happen," Axel protested. I could tell he was struggling to keep his weapons at his sides as his frustration built up. "One hero may fade, but another will always rise. That's how it usually works."

"But it wouldn't be fair to Sora and his friends if he stays asleep forever!" I argued, unable to stop my voice from shaking. I tried to appear brave, but really I was terrified. Axel won't hurt me he won't hurt me, I kept telling myself. "Sora's gone through so much and helped so many people. He deserves to live. I can't do anything to harm him, it's not morally right! You've met him, haven't you? How can you be so willing to sacrifice someone you've seen, someone you've talked to?"

"That's kinda part of the job," Axel shot back, though I though I saw a trace of uncertainty flicker in his eyes. "Look, kid, I get that you don't want anyone to get hurt. But you're still young. You don't understand that that's not how the world works. Maybe back where you came from things were like that, but that's not how this world works. Got it memorized?"

"You don't even want to try," I muttered, disappointment and despair flooding through me. "You're so determined Sora shouldn't live. There has to be a way to save both of them. There has to be." Confusion and stress were suddenly added to the pile of emotions I was experiencing, causing my head to ache. It was too much. There was so much for me to worry about, all at once. _Pressure, uncertainty._ I had to save my friends. _Determination._ But Axel was so certain there wasn't a way to do that without harming Sora. Why couldn't he at least TRY to come up with a plan that involved saving the brown-haired teenager? _Frustration_ _._ But what if he was right? Or what if I had messed things up so much that it was now impossible to save Roxas, Xion, _or_ Sora? Even if I could save two of them, I'd never forgive myself for losing the third. What if I was already too late? _Guilt._

I shook my head, forcing my train of thought to stop. Worrying wasn't going to help anything. "Let's RTC," I muttered, summoning a Dark Corridor. I stepped into the shadowy portal, glancing back to make sure Axel was following. He was, so I kept going.

"You can't always save everyone," Axel muttered from behind me.

"But you should always try," I replied.

My tall friend couldn't argue with that.

Silence filled the Corridor, remaining unbroken even as we exited out into the Castle that Never Was. Nether of us really felt like going up to the clock tower, so we went our separate ways. I headed toward my room, my conversation with Axel replaying over and over in my mind. What did he mean by saying I wasn't taking things seriously? Of course I was! Maybe he was just taking things TOO seriously, overthinking them. But it was a pretty serious situation. My friends' lives were in danger, along with Sora's. How was I supposed to save three people without Axel's help? And Riku sure wasn't going to help me, not after what he had told me yesterday. Between the two of them, I couldn't win. Axel cared about Roxas but not Sora, while Riku was the opposite. The only way to make them both happy would be to save everyone, which is what I wanted to do, but... It seemed so impossible.

"There has to be a way," I muttered as I turned down another hallway. "There has to be!" I just couldn't bring myself to believe that my friends' fate was set in stone.

 _I should talk to Xion!_ I thought suddenly, stopping in my tracks as the idea came to me. _I need to find out how much she knows._

The only problem was... I wasn't sure where to find her.

I summoned a Dark Corridor, deciding to check the clock tower first. I walked through it quickly, almost running but not quite. As I burst out onto the tower, I immediately saw that Xion wasn't there- but Roxas was. And he had heard the Corridor open, turning toward the sound and noticing me. His eyes lit up as he smiled, greeting me with a warm "Hey, Alexa!"

As much as I wanted to find Xion, I couldn't leave the tower now. It would hurt Roxas's feelings. Holding back a sigh, I forced a small smile in return. "Hi."

I sat next to my friend on the ledge, looking out at the setting sun. I wasn't as talkative as usual, half of my mind trying not to think about my worries while the other half fretted over them.

"How'd your mission go today?" My blond friend asked after a few moment of silence.

I shrugged. "Not too bad, I guess. Heart Collection in Beast's Castle with Axel. Yours?"

"I fought a giant Heartless in Neverland," Roxas replied. "Hey, if you and Axel were on the same mission- where is he?"

"He said he had stuff to do," I lied, hating myself for how easily the fib slipped from my mouth. Axel's exact words of parting had been: "I don't think either of us really feels like going up to the tower, right? Maybe tomorrow. See ya around, Alexa. ...Think about what I said."

"Oh." Roxas's hopeful expression fell at my words. "Well, maybe Xion will show up." But I could tell he didn't really believe that would happen.

"Maybe," I agreed halfheartedly. Although, I guess that isn't the best word to describe it. If I was a Nobody, then I had no heart, right? So why could I still feel emotions? I remembered the flood of emotions I had experienced earlier and held back a shudder. They had all come so strongly, all at once. It had been almost overwhelming. If I wasn't supposed to be able to feel anything... Then how...?

I held back a sigh, knowing that this train of thought wasn't going to get me anywhere.

"You said you fought a giant Heartless, right? What kind?" I asked Roxas, hoping to take both our minds off our worries.

"Well, I was sent to Neverland because a large Heartless reading had come from there. As soon as I got there, there were these two pirates- I've told you about them before, the guy with one hand that's always digging up these weird crates and his friend who doesn't really do much besides follow orders. Anyways, they were digging again..."

I listened intently as Roxas continued his story, describing how he flew around and fought the Ruler of the Sky. "It was the biggest Heartless I've ever seen!" he exclaimed, his eyes wide as he remembered the battle. "Pillars of ice would rise up from the ocean on its command. It shot orbs of light from its tail. Oh! Did I mention? Its tail was made of skulls! Yeah, human skulls! I hope they weren't real. This thing could shoot gold coins like bullets. It had huge claws that could probably kill you with one swipe. And it flew really fast!"

"Wow," I gasped, trying to imagine what the Ruler of the Sky must have looked like in real life. I remembered it from the video game as being a very hard boss that had taken me several days to finally beat. I felt bad that I hadn't been there to help my friend, although I didn't know if I would have been much help. "How did you defeat it, then?"

"Patience," Roxas answered. "And lots of Thunder and Cure magic."

"Sounds like it was a scary fight," I commented. "You know, I've never understood why magic that shoots down lightning bolts is called 'Thunder.' Shouldn't it be named 'Lightning?'"

Roxas grinned. "That would make more sense, wouldn't it?"

We talked about random stuff for a few more minutes before finally heading back to the castle and parting ways. As I walked down the maze of hallways leading to my room, I remembered my plan to find Xion. Since she hadn't been at the clock tower, since was most likely somewhere in the castle. But where? I didn't really feel like knocking on random doors in hopes of finding her. And if I wandered aimlessly around the castle, I'd probably just get lost.

 _Maybe I'll run into her tomorrow,_ I thought hopefully as I continued toward my room. _Or I could always ask Axel where she is. I don't think Roxas knows, though._

Talking with my blond friend had helped me momentarily forget about his horrible fate. But now I was even more determined to save him and Xion. I still refused to do anything that could prevent Sora from waking up, but I was confident that there was a way to save all three of them.

I just had to figure out what it was before time ran out.

 **Author's Note:**

 **Sorry that chapter wasn't the best! I struggled a lot with writer's block this chapter. But Alexa finally met Riku! I've been waiting forever to write that scene. I really hope y'all liked the chapter! Please leave a review and let me know what you think! Thank you so much for reading! :)**

 **A quick note to guest reviewer Gry21: Thank you so much for sharing that scene with me! I love reading your short scenes, they make my day! :) (By** **the way, congrats on predicting two things that have happened so far: Alexa destroying her diary and Alexa meeting Riku!)**

 **A quick note to guest reviewer Anya5544: Sorry for not answering your question last chapter! I didn't want to say anything due to spoilers, but since you asked again I will tell you: nope, Xehanort (did I spell that right?) _himself_ has nothing to do with it. That's all I'm gonna say! Thank you so much for the review! **

**Thank you so much to guest reviewers Chirithy565, Anon, and NatNicole! Y'all are awesome! :)**


	27. Chapter 27: More Answers, More Questions

**Author's Note:**

 **I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED THIS STORY IN SO LONG!**

 **It's been what, four months since I last updated this story?! _Four months?!_ I haven't posted a chapter since _last year!_ I'm so sorry! I didn't have much time to write for awhile due to school and stuff, and then I got writer's block on this chapter for the longest time, and eventually lost all will to write it for awhile. I had originally planned on a certain number of chapters for this story (35), and in order to keep it that number, a ton of stuff had to happen in this chapter. I tried and tried but got really frustrated and stressed that I just couldn't write this chapter, and ended up starting over twice. Halfway through the third draft I decided to scrap the 35-chapter idea just so I could get this chapter finished and posted for y'all- and suddenly I was a lot less stressed and the ideas kept coming! This chapter still isn't perfect, but I tried my hardest and I really hope you guys like it! Thank you so much for not giving up on this story, even after my four-month-long break. I feel even more guilty about how long this chapter took to write because shortly after I posted chapter 26, this story reached _10,000 views!_ I still can't believe it! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my little story, I really appreciate it! :)**

 **I'm really sorry this chapter isn't the best, and I will try my hardest to make sure the next chapter is better.**

 **Special thanks this chapter to kinda-cool-dude for all your support and faith in this story before it was even posted, KingdomKat for all your helpful advice and encouragement, and JackieVocacia for taking the time to read this chapter before I published it (and for pointing out those grammar mistakes!). Y'all are awesome! :)**

 **Disclaimer:** **I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Disney, or any of the dialogue, worlds, characters, or ANYTHING from the games/mangas/novels. Got it memorized?**

 **Chapter 27: More Answers, More Questions.**

 **~Day 320~**

I couldn't believe how quickly the days flew by.

I guess it's like what I said before- the more you dread something, the faster time leading up to it goes. Seriously though, it felt like I had merely blinked and that time sped up insanely fast during the millisecond my eyes were closed.

But I made good use out of that time. I worked on coming up with a plan to save my friends. I didn't know how Sora would be effected if his Nobody and Replica stayed separate, and I felt guilty about that, but I _had_ to make sure my friends got their happy ending. I couldn't just stand back and let their terrible fates happen. Not after all the time I'd spent with them. Not after I had gotten to know them so well. They weren't just pixels on a screen anymore. They were _real._ They were my _friends._ I was willing to do almost anything to save them.

Then again, Sora was Riku's friend. The silver-haired teenager was willing to do whatever it took to protect the 'Keyblade's chosen one,' and I couldn't blame him.

After a long mental discussion with myself, I had decided not to tell Axel about my encounter with Riku. I was worried that Axel would do something crazy- not that I didn't trust him, just... I'd seen what he was like when he was angry. I didn't want him to turn that anger upon Riku. Or anyone, actually.

Anyways, it wasn't like I saw Axel that often these days. He never came up to the clock tower anymore, and we had stopped meeting at the islands. I'd only had short conversations with him in which we'd accomplished nothing. With Axel avoiding me and Xion nowhere to be found, I was all alone in my mission to save my friends.

I let out a small sigh, tearing my gaze from the beautiful sunset sky down to the buildings far below. I wondered what it was like living in Twilight Town. How come none of the residents ever came up here, to the top of the clock tower? Or maybe they did, sometimes. It was weird to think about other kids sitting up here under the setting sun, looking down at the tiny roofs of their homes below. What were their lives like? What was _Roxas's_ life like when he was wiped of his memories and stuck inside a digital version of this town? Once again I wished that I knew more about the Kingdom Hearts series. Was I _really_ doing the right thing by saving Roxas and Xion?

 _Of course I am!_ _Stop doubting that!_ I scolded myself mentally. My friends deserved to live just as much as anyone else, Nobody or not.

The sound of footsteps coming from behind me jolted me out of my thoughts. I turned toward the sound, fear rising up within me as I worried that Riku was the cause of the sound. Every day, I'd been afraid that he would show up again- and not be as peaceful this time. I didn't even know if he was the kind of person to just randomly attack, but I _did_ know that I would never be able to win a fight against him. If he decided to attack me to make sure that I didn't save my friends... it would be Game Over for sure. So yeah, Riku scared me. Just another one of my many fears.

Relief flooded through me as I saw Roxas walking toward the ledge instead of the silver-haired teen. My blond friend smiled slightly as he sat down next to me on the ledge, but it looked forced.

"Hi," I greeted him as usual. "Hard mission today?"

Roxas shook his head. "Not really. Heart collection."

"Me too. Seems like that's all we ever do anymore. I haven't fought a giant Heartless in forever. Not that I'm complaining or anything. I don't mind just dealing with smaller Heartless at all!" Yes, my cheerfulness was forced. It usually was these days.

Roxas's smile seemed more genuine this time. "Yeah, the last time I fought a large Heartless was a couple weeks ago. I guess they've been sending more of the other members to take care of them."

"Why, though?" I wondered. "You, me, and Xion are the only ones who can collect hearts."

Roxas shrugged, looking away toward the sunset. "Don't ask me. Maybe Axel knows." His slight frown deepened at the mention of our friend- or, at the moment, _my_ friend. Despite all my efforts, Roxas was still upset with the tall redhead. I guess I couldn't blame him. Axel had tried to apologize without directly saying the words "I'm sorry," but even I had to admit it wasn't very convincing. I had tried to tell him that, but he was currently mad at _me..._

Everything was a mess at the moment. The only thing that stayed normal and predictable was the timeline, much to my annoyance.

But I sure as heck wasn't even close to giving up. I was going to find a way to save my friends, no matter what.

"Maybe," I said in reply to Roxas's statement. "...You know, Axel really-"

"Alexa, don't." My friend's unusually harsh tone startled me into silence. His sky-blue eyes shone fiercely as he silently begged me to not finish the sentence.

So I didn't. I didn't bring up either of our friends for the rest of our conversation that day. We talked about things like the best strategies for defeating certain Heartless and our least favorite worlds besides Agrabah (mine was Halloween Town, Roxas's was Beast's Castle, in case you were wondering). I thought for sure he would choose Olympus Coliseum, but my friend admitted he kind of liked the hero training. "Phil believes in me," he had muttered quietly, staring down at the tiny town far below us.

I wasn't really sure what to say to that. I mean, of course I believed in my spiky-haired friend, but wouldn't it be weird and awkward to tell him that? So instead I jokingly complained about how I was never given any special training. "Not everyone's meant to be a hero, I guess," I pointed out.

"I dunno, " Roxas replied, glancing out toward the setting sun. "What really makes a 'hero,' anyway?"

I frowned at his question, thinking of how his Somebody was often referred to with that title. Of course Roxas liked it, it probably subconsciously reminded him of his past life. I wasn't sure how to answer the question. What exactly _did_ define whether or not someone was a hero, anyway? Heroes were people who did great things like protecting others and defeating evil, right? In that case, Roxas and I were both far from heroic. I hadn't really done anything to help my friends. I still wasn't even sure I would be able to save them. As for defeating evil... Well... I was currently gathering hearts for Xenmas, wasn't I? That was kinda the exact opposite of defeating evil. Roxas and I were _helping_ the bad guy. I mean, sure, if everything still went according to the canon timeline then the Organization's leader would be defeated, but... what if that didn't happen? What if I messed things up so bad that Sora never woke up?! What if-

"Alexa? Hello?" Roxas waved his gloved hand in front of my face, jolting me out of my thoughts once again. Had I seriously managed to space out for the millionth time?

"Sorry!" I apologized. "What were you saying?"

"Nothing," my friend muttered as he stood up. "I should get back to the castle."

I felt horrible. Had I hurt his feelings? "I'm sorry," I repeated as I got off the ledge. "I'm just having a hard time focusing lately." That was true. I was constantly worrying about what I should and shouldn't change in the timeline that I often spaced out.

Roxas smiled, but it was small and obviously fake. "It's fine. You didn't do anything. It's just been a long day, I guess."

"Sorry," I said yet again. What would I ever do if that word didn't exist? "I'm sure tomorrow will be better. No matter how bad things get-" _there's always tomorrow,_ I had been about to finish. But I couldn't say that! Not to Roxas! I mean, I was going to try my best to make sure he got more than his canon 365 days of existence, but what if I failed? What if there really was no way to save my friend? I mentally panicked as I desperately attempted to think of another way to end the sentence I had begun. "...there's always hope, " I concluded after a few seconds. Hopefully Roxas hadn't noticed my awkward pause.

If he had, he didn't say anything about it. "That's true, I guess," he muttered quietly. A Dark Corridor formed at his bidding, and he turned away from me to enter it. "But... we're Nobodies. Does hope even exist for us?"

"Of course it does!" I told him firmly. "Hope exists for everyone, no matter how bad things may seem." It sounded cheesy and I knew it.

My blond friend turned and smiled again, a little less forced this time. "Thanks, Alexa. It must be nice to always see the good in everything."

I blinked in surprise at his statement. Was that true? Did I always see the good? No, it wasn't. I wished that were the case. I couldn't help but notice people's flaws and question their morals sometimes. Like with Axel. He was one of my best friends in this world, he was on my side, and yet... I still felt slightly wary of him. I desperately wanted to trust him fully, but something inside wouldn't let me. I couldn't forget about the fact that he was a murderer. I mean, okay, he had probably been following orders, but he had still done it. It wasn't okay.

Why couldn't I look past the crime he had committed so many days ago and just _trust_ him? He hadn't hurt me, hadn't hurt Roxas, and Xion... Well...

There you go. That was why I couldn't bring myself to have complete faith in the tall redhead. He had tried to hurt one of our friends... and me too, actually, when I got in his way.

I was so torn. In the video game, Axel had seemed like such a trustworthy person. But now... I wasn't sure what to think. Whose side was he really on? Mine, right? I mean, what other sides were there? Riku's? I couldn't imagine my tall friend teaming up with the silver-haired teen. They both had completely opposite goals.

Speaking of Riku... What about Naminé? What did she know? I had no idea if Kairi's Nobody knew about my knowledge of this world, or if she even knew I existed. Had Riku told her? Or maybe she had been the one to tell him. It was frustrating not knowing who knew what. I had briefly considered looking for Naminé a few times, but decided against it. I didn't really know a whole lot about her besides the fact that she could rearrange memories- or, at least, the memories of those connected to Sora in some way. Which I wasn't, so I was safe from her powers... right? But still, I was hesitant to go to the old mansion in Twilight Town where I knew she could be found.

I realized I had just been staring blankly at Roxas for several seconds, so I quickly forced a small smile. "Oh, come on. You see the good in stuff too."

"I guess." My friend half-smiled in return before disappearing into the Corridor. I let it close behind him, deciding not to return to the castle yet. I still needed to think for a bit, and the tower was the best spot for that.

I sat back down on the little ledge, remembering my first time up here. I had been so afraid of spending time with Roxas and Axel, nervous that I'd mess something up. I almost had just headed back to the castle instead of joining the Sea-Salt Trio- or duo, I guess, at the time. I had come so close to running away. If I hadn't happened to run into Axel and Roxas... would I ever have come up here? I had called that day my "second chance" in this world. What chance was I up to now? Tenth? Twentieth?

 _C'mon Alexa, think!_ I urged myself silently, absentmindedly studying the roofs of the buildings far below. _There are only about 30 days left, right? 30 more chances to change things for the better. What can I do to-_

"Hey, Alexa. Thought I'd find you up here."

I flinched in surprise at the sudden sound of Axel's voice from behind me. How long had he been there? I hadn't heard his footsteps on the stairs, or a Dark Corridor opening. I turned around and stood up, startled to see not only my tall friend, but another familiar figure shyly standing by his side.

 _"Xi... Xion?!"_

My dark-haired friend avoided my gaze, instead staring down at her feet. Her hands were clasped behind her back, and she didn't seem very happy to see me. That hurt.

"Xion, I've been looking everywhere for you!" I exclaimed, taking a few steps forward. My friend took the same number of steps back. Why was she so nervous? What had I done? I felt horrible that Xion seemed so timid. Was she... afraid of me?!

Axel spoke before I could ask Xion what was wrong. "We all need to talk. Xion, listen to Alexa. And Alexa..." Axel turned his serious gaze toward me, and I flinched. He made us sound like children who couldn't get along, which wasn't the case. Actually, wasn't _he_ the one who kept getting mad at me recently? "Alexa, I think you'll be interested in what Xion has to say."

I opened my mouth to speak, but Axel shook his head. "Just listen." He glanced at Xion and nodded slightly.

My dark-haired friend still avoided meeting my gaze, much to my despair. She began to speak, so quietly I had to strain to understand what she was saying. "I... I know who you are," she began, "but... you already know that." She suddenly glanced up, her deep blue eyes shining fiercely. "And you know that Riku knows, too."

I nodded, surprised by the intensity of her gaze. "Is he the one who told you?" I blurted out, momentarily forgetting Axel's command to be silent.

Xion hesitated, then nodded.

"And how did he find out?" Axel prompted. I had a feeling he already knew all this.

"Naminé... Naminé knows. But... she didn't say anything until Riku mentioned he had overheard you and Axel talking in a Dark Corridor." I honestly wasn't that surprised that Kairi's Nobody knew my secret. But when had Riku been listening in on us? I didn't think we had ever discussed my knowledge in a Dark- _Oh._ I suddenly remembered the conversation I had had with Axel back when I found out he had read my diary. I had run after him into a Corridor, where we had talked for probably a good ten minutes. Plenty of time for someone to sneak up and listen in on us. Wait- wasn't that when I had spotted that mysterious silver blur? That must have been Riku! I felt stupid for not realizing that sooner.

"So Naminé knows about me? How?" I asked, trying to keep everything straight in my head. I pictured a flowchart, with arrows connecting who had told who.

Xion shook her head. "I don't know. But Alexa- Riku is determined that Roxas shouldn't exist. He's going to do everything he can to make sure Sora wakes up on time." Her eyes grew even more serious. "You can't let him stop you."

Fear rushed through me at her words, but I tried my best to hide it. I was no match against Riku. He wouldn't even have to try to defeat me. If- no, _when_ \- he decided I was too dangerous to his plan... I shivered at the thought.

Wait a second. I was so focused on this sudden flood of knowledge that I was forgetting the obvious. _Why was Xion suddenly confessing all this?_ And why was Axel with her?

Even though I had just been given much needed answers, now I had even more questions. Was this how it was always going to be? More answers, more questions?

"Why are you telling me all this?" I asked Xion, glancing between her and Axel. "It seems like you- both of you- have been avoiding me for weeks. What's with the sudden confession?"

My friends exchanged a glance, and I carefully studied their expressions. Xion seemed to be asking a question, frowning with her head tilted slightly. Axel's face was also serious, and he nodded his head slightly. They both looked back at me, and I felt uneasy. What was going on? Why did Xion seem to not trust me?

"We didn't want to put you in any more danger, Alexa," Xion hesitantly began to explain. "but it's too late for that. The Organization... it's only a matter of time before they find out who you really are."

"Xenmas may already know," Axel interrupted. His voice and expression was the most serious I'd even seen from him. "and I have my suspicions that Number Seven does."

I blinked." Saïx? How would he know?" I was feeling overwhelmed by everything I was being told. It was all so sudden and unexpected. My mind was rushing to connect the dots of everything I was being told with what I already knew.

"Well, you were kinda stupid enough to hand him all the information he could possibly want tied up into a neat little bow," Axel replied bitterly. "Wasn't there anything in that video game you played about not trusting gifts given from your enemy?!"

I realized he must be talking about my diary. Oops. I cringed, remembering my panic when I had discovered that all my secrets had been read. "Okay that was really dumb," I admitted, avoiding my friends' gazes. "Sorry."

If Saïx _had_ read my journal... that was deffinitly not good. While I couldn't remember exactly what I had written down before I destroyed the pages, I knew I had mentioned some of the events I knew were going to take place and how I wanted to change them. And what if he had told the Organization's leader about the information contained within those pages? I shuddered at the thought.

"Wait a second," I spoke suddenly as a new thought popped into my head. "I have two questions." Axel crossed his arms and nodded slightly, as if giving me permission. "First: how does Naminé know? Who told her? And second..." I trailed off, unsure if I really wanted to know the answer to what I was about to ask. Would I just regret it once I had the answer?

But it had been bugging me since I first appeared in this world. I needed to know.

"Why am I so important? You said you didn't want to put me in danger. Why? Since so many people know about the future now, can't you guys figure out a way to change the timeline without me? Xion can wield a Keyblade, and that's really the only talent I have- besides that weird emotion ability thing- so why do I matter? I've already forgotten most of what happened in the video game- all the tiny details, at least. So why..." I trailed off, all the emotion that had been poured into my little outburst running dry. Wait- _emotion?_ No, that wasn't right... I wasn't supposed to have any.

But I did. I did, and I didn't know why. Would I ever find out?

"That's way more than two questions," Axel commented, running his hand through his hair awkwardly. "Slow down, kid."

"Sorry," I apologized quietly. "I guess it's just been bugging me." I laughed, a sharp, bitter sound that didn't sound like me at all. "It's kind of weird getting randomly thrown into the world of your favorite video game and having this rare weapon suddenly appear in your hand. On top of that, I don't know why I'm here, and-" I quickly broke off, not wanting to upset Xion by mentioning that I was stressed out about trying to save her and Roxas. "Never mind. Sorry. I guess I'm just a little frustrated because time's running out and I'm not sure what to do."

"Can't say I blame you," Axel stated. "What day is it now? 320?" Axel sighed and ran his hand through his hair again. "Look, if you're gonna save Roxas- and Xion-" He shot a quick glance at our dark-haired friend, who avoided his gaze. "-you obviously can't do it alone. That's why you have us- right, Xion?"

"Right," she agreed quietly, still avoiding our gazes. Something was up with her.

"Great. Let's meet at Destiny Islands tomorrow and discuss our options," Axel decided.

"Wait..." Something about all this was bothering me. Why was Axel suddenly so willing to work together? He had been frustrated with me only a couple weeks ago. What had happened since then? And Xion... I hadn't seen her for about a month at least. Why had she been avoiding me? Axel must have convinced her somehow. She didn't seem very happy to be here.

"Yes?" Axel prompted, crossing his arms impatiently.

I hesitated before continuing: "I guess I'm still a little confused. Are we working together now?"

"Weren't we always?" Axel replied. "We both want to save our friends, right? So yeah, of course we're working together. Get it memorized."

It almost was hard to believe. Axel wasn't upset with me for not wanting to risk harming Sora? He had somehow convinced Xion to come talk to me and explain how she knew I wasn't from this world, and that Riku and Naminé knew too?

I wanted to trust my friend, but it just seemed so sudden... had the Organization put him up to this or something?

 _No! Stop it!_ I scolded myself. _The Organization doesn't even know my secret, right? I'm a Keyblade wielder. That's why Xenmas recruited me. How he knew that, I have no idea. But I have to stop doubting my friends!_

Axel was right. I probably couldn't save Roxas and Xion on my own. It would be best to work together. I had to trust him.

"Xion too?" I asked, looking over at Xion. It felt really weird to be discussing all this with her. Her fate was in danger, too, just as much as Roxas's. Now Roxas was the only one of my friends who didn't know about me and my secret. What would happen if he _did_ find out? How would he react? It definitely would not be good. As it was, it probably wasn't best that Xion knew. She must be terrified. I felt awful for her.

Xion opened her mouth to speak, but Axel interrupted. "Of course, Xion too. She already knows, doesn't she? So she can help." Our dark-haired friend nodded.

This was all happening so suddenly. I was overwhelmed. Ten minutes ago I had been thinking sadly about how I was all alone in my efforts to change the timeline. Now I had two allies? And one of them was one of the people I was trying to save?

Can you really blame me for being confused?!

I shook my head. The most important thing was making sure Roxas and Xion got their happy ending, and that Sora woke up when he was supposed to. If Xion wanted to help, that was great, right?

"Okay, then. See you guys tomorrow. "

 **Author's Note:**

 **Well, there you go! Chapter 27 of Kingdom of Broken Hearts! Again, I'm sorry that this chapter wasn't the best. I need to not take three-month-long breaks between chapters! Please let me know what you think of this chapter in a review! Thank you so much for reading! I will try my best to have the chapter posted faster next time, I promise.**

 **A quick note to guest reviewer Anya5544: Thanks for being the first reviewer last chapter! :D Maybe there isn't a way to change things, but Alexa's not giving up! Thanks again for the review!**

 **A quick note to guest reviewer Anon: Yep, you were the Anon I was referring to (at least, I'm assuming you're the same one, since you're a guest reviewer and I can't tell for sure)! Thank you for reviewing!**

 **Thank you so much guest reviewers NatNicole, Guest, and Chirithy564! :)**


	28. Chapter 28:Trust and Mistrust

**Author's Note:**

 **Hey, I kept my promise! Instead of this chapter taking like four months to write, it took me... two months... I'm so sorry. I'm a horrible person for taking so long to update this story! I've been working on writing more original stuff lately, and this fanfic kinda got shoved to the bottom of the priorities list for a while. :( However, this chapter ended up being so long that I decided to break it up into two separate chapters! Hopefully that makes up for the looonnnggg wait.**

 **Thank y'all so much for 13,000 total views and 50 favorites on this story! You guys are the best! :D Seriously, it makes me so happy to know that so many people like this fanfic.**

 **Again, I'm so sorry about how long this chapter took me to write. I'm not super happy with it, but I tried my best and I really hope y'all like it!**

 **A huge thank you to the fabulous Jackie Vocacia for Beta-ing this chapter! :D And as always, thank you so much to everyone who reads, reviews, follows, and favorites this story. I can't believe it's already been almost a year since I posted the first chapter! Thanks for sticking with me and my story for so long, y'all! :)**

 **Disclaimer:** **I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Disney, or any of the dialogue, worlds, characters, or ANYTHING from the games/manga/novels. Got it memorized?**

 **Chapter 28: Trust and Mistrust**

My mission on day 321 was a solo heart-collecting assignment in Twilight Town. I should have been happy about this- I hadn't been to my favorite world in at least a week, besides the times spent on the clock tower with my friends. It also wasn't a super challenging assignment, so It hopefully wouldn't take me too long to complete. I'd have plenty of time to meet with Axel and Xion at Destiny Islands afterward. And I guess I was happy. Mostly. I just had a few things on my mind I kept worrying about.

I held back a sigh as I walked through the empty streets of Twilight Town, Kingdom of Broken Hearts gripped tightly in my hand. I still wasn't entirely sure what to think about working together with my two friends. I mean, of course I wanted to save Roxas and Xion, and maybe even change Axel's ending (because didn't he sacrifice himself to protect Sora in Kingdom Hearts 2?), but... I don't know. Something just seemed off. Maybe I was being paranoid.

I exited the Tram Common and paused for a second at the beginning of Station Heights. My mission was more than halfway over- I just had to get to Station Plaza and defeat the Heartless there for my mission to be completed. Then it would be off to the islands to meet my friends. I had already told Roxas earlier that I wouldn't be meeting him at the clock tower after my mission, so hopefully he wouldn't come looking for me. I felt guilty about sneaking around behind his back, but we were just trying to help him, right? I mean, it's not like we could openly tell him about the horrible events that would take place unless we did something to stop them. What would Roxas do if he knew? I wasn't sure, and I didn't want to find out.

I shook my head slightly, dismissing my worried thoughts as I continued on my way to Station Plaza. Fretting over something that would probably never happen was a waste of time. I needed to focus on my mission.

Just as the clock tower building came into view, four Scarlet Tangos appeared in a burst of smoke-like shadows. I held my weapon at the ready, focusing more on blocking than attacking. The Heartless spread out, surrounding me in a large square formation. This wasn't going to be easy. One of the Tangos made sure to always stay behind me as I constantly shifted my gaze from one enemy to another. I gave up on defense and attacked the Tango directly in front of me, defeating it with four quick hits of my Keyblade. The others broke formation and hovered around me angrily, launching attacks which I struggled to avoid. Two of their fireballs hit me, which hurt like crazy, but I gritted my teeth and focused on attacking. Fire magic didn't actually set you on fire, but it stung and burned just as badly as if it had. Thankfully the effects only lasted a few seconds.

Soon it was down to two Tangos, and then one, and then- _finally_ \- the last enemy disappeared with a final hit from my Keyblade. I quickly gulped down a potion (I always kept at least five in the pockets of my cloak) and continued toward the Plaza.

"Not bad."

I instantly turned toward the sound of the voice, my weapon gripped so tightly my hand hurt. Panic flooded through me as I spotted the silver-haired, blindfolded teen standing a few feet away. How long had he been there? Why was he here? Why did he always have to sneak up on me? Did he never say hello like a normal person?!

"Ri-Riku?" I stuttered, mentally scolding myself for sounding so afraid. I repeated his name, my voice stronger this time: "Riku."

His serious expression didn't change as he took a few steps closer. "Time's running out, Alexa. Have you decided yet?"

"Decided what?" I replied, forcing my voice not to shake. Riku wasn't holding his weapon, but I didn't feel comfortable with dismissing mine. I didn't really trust Sora's best friend. Not that I planned to fight him for no reason or anything, I just wanted to be armed in case he decided to attack.

His mouth twitched impatiently. "Roxas is almost out of days. Sora will wake up soon. You're not going to stop that from happening...Are you?"

The icy tone of his voice made me even more nervous. A tiny part of my mind worried that my Keyblade would snap if I tightened my grip any more. "I already told you," I answered calmly, bravely meeting his blindfolded gaze. "I don't want anything bad to happen to Sora, but I am not going to let Roxas and Xion fade away." Despite my calm appearance, I was absolutely terrified. Riku could summon his weapon at any second, and then it would all be over. There was no way I could win a fight against him.

Riku let out a small sigh and shook his head slightly. "You're making a mistake."

"How is doing the right thing making a mistake?" I shot back without thinking. "Be honest- if this was all reversed, if you were me and Sora was Roxas.. wouldn't you do anything to save your best friend, no matter what the cost?"

The silver-haired teen's frown deepened. "I would. And that's why I'm not going to let you make the same stupid mistakes I would if I were in your position. I _will_ fight you if I have to, Alexa. But surely you don't want it to come to that. We can work this out peacefully."

He was right, of course. I didn't want to fight him. I liked nonviolent solutions. But no matter what, I wasn't about to give up on my friends. Why couldn't Riku see that? This would be so much easier if we just worked together!

"I've _been_ trying to work this out peacefully," I responded. "You know, you and Axel are a lot alike. Both of you are so convinced that your friend is so important that you're ignoring any other point of view. It's really starting to get annoying!" My hand hurt from gripping my Keyblade so tightly, but I didn't relax. Riku had made it clear that he would attack me if I had to. The though of battling against him terrified me. Should I run away while I had the chance?

No, I decided firmly. I was done with running. I was sick of standing by silently and letting things fall into place. I was going to stand my ground and stay strong- or, at least, try to be strong. I had fought and defeated a Leechgrave, right? That had taken a lot of courage, and I'd done it. I mean, Roxas had helped, but still...

Riku sighed and shook his head slightly. "You're not... You're not listening. And yet you accuse _me_ of being unfair? Try listening to advice once in awhile." To my surprise, a Dark Corridor formed behind the silver-haired teen. "Here's some: you're trusting the wrong people." He turned around and vanished, the portal disappearing behind him.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not the type to get mad easily. I don't pick fights or get angry over little things. I pride myself on being peaceful.

But at that moment, I wanted to scream.

Why wouldn't anybody listen to me?! I was just trying to do the right thing, and yet no one seemed to be taking me seriously. I mean, Axel listened to me, but did even he really respect my opinion? I wondered sometimes what he actualy thought of me. Sure, I was a weak 14-year-old with no previous battle experience besides video games, but I had gotten a lot stronger (and possibly braver?) during my time in the Organization. I wasn't the same person anymore that I had been back home. Maybe it was due to me being a Nobody, or maybe I was just growing up. Either way, I was trying my best to complete my missions and save my friends. Didn't Axel see how much I had changed since the first time we sparred? Back then, the gleaming metal of the sword had terrified me. Its weight was heavy and awkward in my grip. I had frozen up when Heartless appeared.

And now? Now I had my very own Keyblade, which I could wield fairly easily. I defeated dozens of Heartless without worrying that I was gonna die. I didn't freeze up during battle- or, at least, I hadn't in awhile. Sure, I was still kind of fearful, but there was no question that I was at least a little braver and more confident. I'd probably never be as skilled as the rest of Organization XIII, but that was okay. I had to stop thinking so negatively about myself!

Pushing Riku's words deep into the back of my mind, I turned back toward Station Heights and resumed my mission. It wouldn't be too much longer before I could meet my friends at the Destiny Islands, and hopefully my problems would be solved.

I briefly considered telling Axel about my encounter with Riku, but quickly decided against it. I worried that my tall friend would attack Riku or something, which would be very bad. Anyway, it wasn't like I was hurting anything by not telling him... Right?

 **~Time-Skip~**

I was the first of my friends to arrive at the islands that day. Which was surprising, because my mission had taken me longer than usual. I begun to worry. Had I misunderstood something? Were we not meeting today? I decided to wait for a bit longer before going to look for them.

I waited for them on the beach, just a few feet above where the highest waves would gently splash onto the shore. The water was as beautiful as always- the same brilliant blue color as Roxas and Xion's eyes. The sky and the ocean were such similar shades of turquoise that it was almost hard to determine where one ended and the other began. The air was as warm and salty as always, but not nearly as hot as the desert city of Agrabah. The heat of the islands was almost pleasant, like a warm hug.

I couldn't image why anyone would ever want to leave this island. Was life here really that bad? Then again, my own life back home had been fairly easy, and yet I still wished to escape it. Guess that's just normal, no matter where you live.

The familiar sound of a Dark Corridor opening sounded from my right, and I turned toward it. Axel stepped out from the shadows, rubbing the back of his head as the portal closed behind him. "Hey."

"Hi," I greeted him. "Where's Xion? You're both late."

"Nah, you're just early," Axel shot back. It was almost exactly the reverse of our conversation on day 255, I realized. It was weird how much had changed since then.

As if my question had summoned her, another Corridor opened a few feet behind Axel and our dark-haired friend emerged from it. I greeted her with a friendly smile, but she avoided my gaze.

"Okay, we're all here," Axel announced. He had to speak louder than usual to be heard above the ocean's roar, but there wasn't anone nearby who could possibly overhear us. We were alone, with only the sky and the sea and the land. "So, anyone got any bright ideas on how we can do this without hurting the Keyblade's Chosen One?" I knew by 'this' he meant saving Roxas and Xion. There was a sharp edge to his voice on the last three words, but I ignored it.

"I... My mission was with Roxas today," Xion spoke up. It was hard to hear her over the around of the waves. "He seemed... not good. He was really pale, and almost collapsed at the end of our mission." There was a worried gleam in my dark-haired friend's eyes as she spoke. "He kept telling me he was fine, but... something's wrong."

I tried to remember if this had happened in the video game. "What was your target?"

"A Spiked Crawler," my friend responded. "In Agrabah."

"Oh!" I gasped. "I remember that mission! That's the one with those annoying cubes you have to push around until they get into the squares-" I broke off abruptly as Xion's confused expression told me that she had no idea what I was talking about. "Oops, never mind. Must only be in the video game."

"So you... you know what happened, right?" Xion asked.

Before I could reply to her question, Axel interrupted. "Whoa, okay, hold on. You and Alexa may know what happened today, Xion, but I don't. Care to explain?"

Our dark-haired friend nodded timidly. "Roxas and I were sent to Agrabah to defeat a Spiked Crawler. Roxas seemed... He didn't seem himself. His fighting wasn't as good. He missed easy attacks. Even his defense was sloppy."

"'Roxas is having an off day,'" I muttered aloud, remembering the message that appeared onscreen at the beginning of the mission in the game. "'Level halved.'"

Axel's frown deepened. "I think I know why."

"It's my fault, isn't it?" Xion questioned, her shoulders slumping and head hanging down. "Today, near the end of the mission, I... I finished the Heartless off with a single attack. We had only just begun to fight it, so it wasn't weak or anything. I just... I suddenly felt this rush of power and confidence. It was like I could do anything. I used an attack I had seen Roxas use before, but he never showed me how to do it or anything. I just... knew. It's... It's because I'm a replica of Sora, isn't it? I'm hurting Roxas by simply existing, aren't I? That power I used today..." She trailed off, her voice tight with emotion. Yes, that's right, _emotion._ After all, Xion wasn't really a Nobody- she was a Replica. Did that mean that she could feel emotions? I didn't think they ever talked about that in the video game, or in any of the articles I'd read online about Kingdom Hearts.

Axel spoke up before I could gather up my thoughts to do so. "So you're using up a bit more power than you should. That doesn't mean you're a danger to him, Xion. Just be careful."

"It's not like I can control it!" Xion shot back, lifting up her head and glaring at our tall friend. "I'm just a replica, created to wield a Keyblade and work for Xenmas, and that's exactly what I'm doing! That's... That's all I'll ever be. Riku was right." Her voice lowered in volume until the last few words were only a quiet mutter, but I still heard them. "I'm just a puppet."

Apparently Axel had heard them too. "For what it's worth, you're no puppet in my book. You're one of my best friends. Got it memorized? A puppet wouldn't look for a way to change things to save their friend the way you are. Get it together already!" His last few words were harsh, but the look in his emerald-green eyes was kind rather than scolding. It wasn't very often that his expression softened the way it did then, and I knew that Axel really did care about Xion just as much as Roxas.

"He's right," I finally spoke up. "Puppets don't fight for what they know to be right. If you were blindly following Xenmas that'd be one thing, but you're not." Rather than seeming reassured, Xion looked even more guilty after I had finished speaking. I caught her shooting a glance at Axel, who ever-so-slightly shook his head. What was that about? I didn't want to ask about it, worrying that I was just imagining things.

Then again, there was Axel's sudden change of (supposedly non-exsistant) heart yesterday... Maybe I was right to be suspicious.

"We should head back before Saïx sends someone out searching for us," Axel suggested a moment later.

I was surprised that he suggested we go back so early. There was still so much I wanted to ask my friends, Xion especially. Just how much had Riku told her? "Already? But we haven't-"

Axel hurriedly interrupted my protest. "Do you really want the others to find out we're meeting here? What if Roxas comes looking for us? We can't risk staying here too long. We can meet again tomorrow."

Axel had a point. "Okay, tomorrow," I agreed reluctantly. I was worried about Xion, about Roxas, about Axel's sudden willingness to help me. I could trust him, couldn't I?

 _"You're trusting the wrong people."_

Riku's earlier advice echoed in my mind, adding to my ever-growing pile of worries and things to keep in mind. What exactly had he meant by that vague statement? He wasn't... He wasn't referring to Axel and Xion, was he? Because I knew I could trust them. Who else could he have been talking about? Who else did I trust in this world?

Well, Roxas, of course. But I knew he was trustworthy. Not only was he one of my best friends in this world, but I had played an entire video game with him as the main character. I probably knew more about him than anyone else in this universe. I knew I could trust him.

Riku was probably just messing with me, I decided. Maybe he was trying to get me to doubt my friends so I'd help him instead.

Xion summoned a Dark Corridor, and the three of us headed back to the Castle that Never Was. We didn't accomplish nearly as much as I had hoped, but Xion seemed a bit more confident now, so that was good. It was a start, at least. We still had about three weeks before day 358. There was still enough time to come with a plan. And with Xion on my side, saving her and Roxas was going to be a lot easier. If Xion stayed in the Organization, then Roxas would stay, and he wouldn't go up onto the clock tower on day 357 and fight Xion. Then he wouldn't battle with Riku and end up in the digital Twilight Town.

...But if all those events didn't happen, then what would? And how would that affect Sora?

I didn't have all the answers, and that bothered me, but I knew I was going to have to find out. I wasn't going to stand back and let the canon ending play out. With Axel and Xion helping, I now had two people to help me come up with ideas.

Together, we were going to change destiny.

 **Author's Note:**

 **Sorry that chapter was so short! Chapter 29 will be longer, I promise! (I know because it's mostly already written, I just need to write a bit more and then edit and proofread it.) Thank y'all so much for reading! Please leave a review letting me know what you thought of this chapter!**

 **Thank you so much to guest reviewers Anon and Anya5544! :D**

 **The next chapter will either be posted later today or tomorrow. Thanks again for taking the time to read this chapter! :)**


	29. Chapter 29: Another Day, Another Mission

**Author's Note:**

 **Sorry it took me longer to finish writing this chapter than I thought! Also sorry this chapter is kind of filler... I wanted to describe a mission since I hadn't in forever, but I kind of got carried away and made it super long... Oops.**

 **Anyways, here's chapter 29! :)**

 **Disclaimer:** **I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Disney, or any of the dialogue, worlds, characters, or ANYTHING from the games/manga/novels. Got it memorized?**

 **Chapter Twenty-Nine: Another Day, Another Mission.**

As I entered the Grey Area on day 322, Roxas greeted me with a friendly wave. "Hey, Alexa! You're with me today. Xaldin never RTC'd after his last mission and it's our job to find him."

I was glad my mission for the day was with Roxas. I couldn't help but return his friendly smile as I walked over toward him. My smile soon faded as I really thought about what he had just said. "Xaldin's missing?"

Saïx interrupted before my blond friend could reply. "Number III has yet to return from his last mission at Beast's Castle. Alexa, you and Roxas will find him and make sure he returns back here."

"Yes, sir," I agreed, wondering if this had happened in the video game or not. I was pretty sure it had, as I could vaguely remember running through the digital castle in search of the missing Organization member.

"Ready to go?" Roxas asked me, already summoning a Dark Corridor.

I hesitated. "In a minute," I told him. "I want to go stop by the Moogle Shop real quick first." I hadn't checked out the mysterious shopkeeper's wares in awhile. Maybe I now had enough Munny to buy a better ring! The Sign of Resolve didn't seem to do much.

To my surprise, Roxas dismissed the Dark Corridor. "Oh yeah, I should probably stop by there first too. I'm running low on Hi-Potions."

Saïx glared at us for delaying our mission but said nothing.

The shop was only a few feet away, and the Moogle was all too happy to do business with us. Within five minutes Roxas had bought several potions, and I had found out that the only other ring I could afford was the Soldier Ring. "That ring will make you much stronger, Kupo," the Moogle promised when it noticed my interest in the plain silver ring. "Might even make you faster, too."

After a few moments' consideration, I bought the ring. Sure, the one I already had didn't seem to be much help, but it was just a cheap starter ring anyway. It was an expensive gamble, but if this new ring helped me be a better fighter... it would be worth it.

"Numbers XIII and XV. You have a mission to attend to," Saïx reminded us sternly. Roxas rolled his eyes, facing away from the blue-haired man so he wouldn't see. Holding back a laugh, I pulled off my glove and carefully removed the Sign of Resolve ring from my finger. After putting it into my cloak's pocket, I slipped on the Soldier Ring. Just like when I had first put my old ring on, a small shock jolted through me as the ring was pushed onto my finger.

Roxas noticed me flinch and smiled sympatheticly. Before he could say anytthing, Saïx's voice rang out through the small room: "Stop stalling. You have work to do."

"Okay okay, sorry!" I apologized, quickly pulling my glove back on and summoning a Dark Corridor. So far the ring didn't seem to have any effect- I didn't feel any stronger or anything. As I made my way through the Corridor, I was almost tempted to try running through it to see if I could go faster now, but decided aagainst it. I didn't want to be out-of-breath when we arrived at Beast's Castle.

Roxas was silent as we walked through the shadowy portal, which wasn't unusual. What was odd, however, was how cheerful he seemed. He was still mad at Axel, all four of us hadn't met up at the clock tower in ages, and Xion was slowly stealing his strength. So why did he seem so energetic and happy? Not that I wanted him to be sad, because I didn't! Not at all! I was happy that he was happy! But still, it was kind of strange.

The second we stepped out of the Corridor and were greeted by the gloomy world of Beast's Castle, Roxas marched toward the large front doors. "Let's split up," he suggested as I started to follow him. "You check the bridge and then come back through the secret passage. I'll check the entrance hall, ballroom, and East Wing."

I nodded my agreement to his plan. "Good luck," I called after him, to which he turned around and smiled for a second before continuing into the castle.

I didn't remember a lot about this mission from the video game, but I didn't really think that there was that much to remember in the first place. You just wandered around until you found Xaldin, right? It should be a fairly quick, easy mission. Like all the missions I had been sent on lately. It'd been awhile since I'd been given a more challenging assignment. Not that I minded- it was nice not having to fight bosses. Especially since I knew day 358 kept creeping closer and closer. Even though I knew the events that had taken place at the end of the game weren't going to happen anymore (hopefully), I stIll couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen soon. I don't know maybe it was the fact that Riku had practically threatened to attack me if I tried to save my friends. Maybe it was due to Axel's sudden change of heart, or Xion's quietness. Or maybe I was just being paranoid, as usual.

Then again, I was a member of Organization XIII now. I was surrounded by powerful people who could kill me with almost no effort if they wanted to. I wasn't in my own world anymore. I wasn't just an average girl living an average life. Now I was the wielder of a legendary weapon, determined to change the fate of my friends. I had gone from a nobody to a somebody really fast. Wait, no, that wasn't right- I used to be a Somebody, but now I was a Nobody. It wasn't the other way around.

I was jolted out of my thoughts suddenly as three Bad Dogs appeared. Kingdom of Broken Hearts materialized in my hand, and I quickly slashed at the nearest Heartless. I hit it again, and again, until it finally vanished. One of the two remaining enemies jumped toward me, but I held up my Keyblade and blocked the attack. Four more quick slashes, and the second Bad Dog was defeated. The Solider Ring definitely seemed to be helping, I was happy to notice. My attacks seemed to do more damage than before.

Just as I lunged toward the third Bad Dog, three more appeared. I sighed quietly in disappointment before quickly finishing off the Heartless I was fighting and aiming attacks at the others. This was going to be a long mission, I could already tell. A small group of Shadows were approaching from the distance as I battled against the Bad Dogs. There seemed to be more Heartless in this world than usual today for some reason. Could this be Xaldin's fault?

The sharp scratch of a Shadow's claws raking down the back of my arm jolted me out of my thoughts, and I mentally scolded myself for getting distracted. I turned around and quickly defeated my attacker before returning my focus to the remaining Bad Dog. It didn't take much longer before they were all defeated, much to my relief. I may have been much better at fighting than I was when I first joined the Organization, but it wasn't like I had endless strength or anything. I probably wouldn't be able to complete a single mission if not for potions. As soon as all the Heartless were gone, I quickly gulped one down before continuing toward the bridge. Nothing attacked me as I made my way toward the elaborately carved doors guarding the courtyard's exit, to my relief. Not only did I lack the strength to fight for a long time without using a potion or two, but fighting still just wasn't something I really liked doing. A voice in the back of my mind kept whispering " _This is wrong"_ every time I attacked a Heartless. I mean, I guess it _was_ kind of wrong. Every Heartless I defeated meant another heart joined Xenmas's Kingdom Hearts. Even though I knew Sora would destroy it eventually, I was still temporarily helping the enemy. And that made me feel guilty and scared and several other emotions that I wasn't even supposed to be able to feel, being a Nobody and all. Did that mean I still had a heart? Did Roxas? Did Axel? And what about Xion? I still had so many questions, and it didn't seem like they would be answered anytime soon- if ever.

But that was okay, right? After all, my main focus was saving my friends. Everything else could wait.

I struggled to push open the heavy doors leading toward the bridge, leaning against them with all my weight. The doors were huge and tall and _heavy,_ yet also kind of pretty with their fancy carvings etched in memorizing swirls. The arch of stone or concrete or whatever it was above them cast the doors in eerie purple shadow, making it hard to see the doors' pattern well. Almost everything in the castle's courtyard was made up of shades of purple: from the walls that served as a fence for the courtyard, to the bricks covering a good portion of the ground, to the castle itself. All of this was contrasted by the deep blue starry sky it lay under. Beast's Castle wasn't such a bad world, I thought distractedly as I fought against the stubborn doors. Sure, maybe it was a little gloomy, and the talking inanimate objects was a bit weird, but at least it was better than The Castle That Never Was or Halloween Town, right? And it certainly was much cooler than Agrabah.

Just as I was about to give up and head back toward the castle, the doors suddenly opened with a nearly deafening creak. I lost my balance and tumbled down onto the cobblestones, letting out a small cry as my knee sharply hit into the rock. It wasn't bad enough to waste a potion over, I decided after I scrambled back up to my feet. I only had four of the precious green bottles left.

I glanced around for Xaldin, but there was no sign of him. I had never been on this bridge before (as least, not in person), and it looked pretty much the same as it had in the video game. The bridge was fairly long and the same shades of purple as the courtyard, and two statues stood on either side. At the very end of the bridge was an iron gate, beyond which I could see a thick forest.

No Heartless appeared, so I turned around and made my way back toward the castle. After pulling closed the doors leading toward the bridge, I quickly walked across the courtyard without running into any Heartless. Once, I thought I saw something move out of the corner of my eye- but there was nothing there when I turned my head. I guess all the shadows of the courtyard were causing me to imagine things.

The "secret passage," as Roxas and I usually called it, was actually officially known as the Entrance Hall Upper Level. It didn't seem like an entrance hall at all. It had no door closing it off from the courtyard. A stone staircase led up to it, rather gloomy despite the several large windows allowing in light. At the top of the stairs awaited an eerily blue hallway, with brick walls and a smooth stone floor. Further in were confusing turns and random boxes I faintly remembered from the video game, along with a mysterious hole in the wall that allowed you to look down into the entrance hall. I'd always wondered how that hole was made.

As I reached the end of the staircase, an Icy Cube appeared in a burst of shadowy smoke. I lunged toward it, hitting the Heartless over and over again with my Keyblade. My poor knee was already sore from climbing up the long flight of stairs, and a dull pain shot through it as I fought. I gritted my teeth and tried to ignore it.

Icy Cubes were definitely not one of my favorite Heartless. They took forever to defeat unless I took the time to attempt casting a Fire spell, which almost always ended up badly because the Cube would freeze me before the flame left my Keyblade. My strategy was to just keep attacking the Icy Cube as quickly as I could without pausing and giving it a chance to fight back. It was tiring, but usually worked.

So that's what I did. I aimed attack after attack at the Heartless, shivering from the aura of cold that surrounded it. Little bits of ice chipped off it as I attacked, and cracks formed on the cube's surface. I fought back the guilt that whispered in the back of my mind. Heartless were evil and they had to be defeated. As a Keyblade wielder for the Organization, that was pretty much my job.

After a few seconds I had to pause to catch my breath, which gave my enemy a chance to attack. It somehow hopped up into the air and let itself fall back down, creating a shockwave of icy wind. I held up my Keyblade as a shield, and the wind parted around me. The Icy Cube was already preparing to jump again, but I didn't give it a chance to. I lunged toward it and quickly hit it until its once-clear surface was cloudy and mirrored with cracks, at which point it faded away into a wisp of smoke. I felt kind of bad about killing a giant evil ice cube, I must admit. Sure, it was a scary and dangerous creature, but despite its resemblance to a chunk of frozen water... It was _alive._ Wasn't it? The Heartless were supposed to be mindless, acting only on instinct, but sometimes that was hard to believe. I felt guilty for attacking them. I had to keep reminding myself that they were evil and had to be defeated, otherwise they would attack innocent people and steal their hearts. I was doing the right thing by fighting them.

After the Icy Cube was defeated, I continued walking through the hall until I reached the large doors leading to the ballroom. The large, brightly-lit room was my favorite in the mostly gloomy castle. Despite the huge chandelier hanging from the ceiling at the center of the room, there were no shadowy corners for Heartless to lurk. I loved the warm, fancy atmosphere of the ballroom. It was hard to believe it really belonged with the rest of the castle, it seemed so out-of-place. And yet at the same time it fit right in with the formal red-carpeted hallways of the castle's upper level.

My footsteps echoed throughout the ballroom as I took a few steps deeper into the room, glancing around for any sign of Xaldin. Like the rest of my search so far, there was none. After all, Roxas had said he was going to search the ballroom. He must have already been here. I wondered for a second if he had found Xaldin and left without me, but Roxas wouldn't do that. If he had found the Organization's number III, my blond friend would come looking for me before he headed back.

...Wouldn't he?

I shook my head as I exited the ballroom and stepped out into the entrance hall, forcing my worries to the back of my mind. Where had Xaldin been found during this mission in the video game? I couldn't remember. It seemed so long ago that I had sat at my desk back home and played 358/2 Days on my 3DS.

Nostalgia washed over me as I remembered the days when Kingdom Hearts was simply a video game I played in my free time to escape reality. Now it _was_ reality. It was weird to think that I actually kind of wanted to return back home to my old boring life. At least back home I didn't have to fight Heartless and worry about changing the timeline too much.

I glanced left and right, between the two doorways on either side of where I stood. _Think,_ I commanded myself silently. _If I were Xaldin, and I had come to Beast's Castle on a mission, where would I be?_ I knew the dark-haired man wasn't dead (at least, he hadn't been in the video game), but I forgot exactly why he hadn't returned to The Castle That Never Was right away. Something about prepreations...?

I wandered all around the castle in search of either Xaldin or Roxas, starting with the East Wing and then heading toward the west. I had almost reached the west hall's stairs when I heard approaching footsteps. Panic flooded through me- what if one of the castle's residents was coming? I couldn't let them see me! I ducked behind the stairs, dismissing my Keyblade and trying to slow down my panicked breathing. The stairs were tall, so as long as whoever was coming down them turned in the opposite direction, they wouldn't see me and everything would be okay. There wasn't really anything beyond where I was hiding besides the Undercroft, so hopefully-

I broke off my train of thought and held my breath as someone hurried down the stairs. _Please don't turn right, please don't turn right,_ I begged whoever it was mentally. Much to my horror, I heard them take a couple steps in my direction. Any second now-

I turned away from the stairs and toward the hallway, relief flooding through me as the person who had come down the stairs came into view. "Roxas!"

My blond friend startled and looked around frantically until he spotted me, still half-hidden by the base of the stairs. "Oh, Alexa! Have you found Xaldin yet?" he asked, lowering his Keyblade and walking closer.

I shook my head. "Nope. And I'm guessing you haven't, either?"

Roxas nodded. "I know he's been here, though. I overheard some of the residents of the castle talking. It sounds like Xaldin caused some trouble." He frowned, glancing up toward the West Wing. "We'd better find him soon."

"Yeah," I agreed, wondering exactly what kind of trouble the Organization member had caused. Before I could ask Roxas, he took off toward the Undercroft. "Hey, wait up!" I called after him, hurrying to follow.

The instant we entered the small room, we both froze in surprise. A Blitz Spear seemed to have been waiting for us, instantly striking out toward Roxas as we approached. My friend held up his Keyblade just in time to block the attack, lunging toward the Spear as soon as it recoiled. I dumbly watched Roxas attack the Heartless for a few seconds before I recovered from my shock and summoned Kingdom of Broken Hearts. As soon as the weapon materialized in my hand, I lunged toward the Blitz Spear from the back as Roxas attacked its front. We kept attacking, blocking, and then attacking again. Xion had been right yesterday, I realized as I glanced over at Roxas as we fought. He definitely didn't seem as strong as usual. Not quite "level halved" weak, but he definitely wasn't fighting as well as he normally did. That wasn't good. Maybe I had less time to save my friends than I thought, I realized with a jolt of panic.

By the time we finally defeated the Blitz Spear, my blond friend looked like he was about to collapse. "Hey, are you okay?" I asked him, quickly reaching into my cloak pocket and pulling out a potion. He took the small green bottle from me without a word. I nervously watched as he gulped down the potion, closing his eyes for a second before opening them and smiling at me.

"Thanks," he told me gratefully. My friend didn't seem as tired now, to my relief. But I was still worried. Did he really seem so weak because Xion was stealing his strength? Or was there another reason?

"You never answered my question," I stated, dismissing my Keyblade so I could cross my arms. "Are you okay? You seem kinda..." I trailed off, trying to find the right word (hopefully one that didn't sound harsh or mean).

"You're just as bad as Xion," Roxas muttered. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me. C'mon, let's find Xaldin so we can head over to the clock tower."

I hesitated, but Roxas was already starting to climb the piles of forgotten objects that served as a makeshift staircase leading up to the Secret Passage. I was worried about him, plus now I felt guilty that I was meeting up with Axel and Xion later. Maybe we could do that tomorrow instead, and go to the clock tower today. It would mean a lot to Roxas.

But I doubted that we would. After all, Roxas was still upset with Axel for attacking Xion. He wouldn't be happy if the redhead came up to the clock tower. And I couldn't waste what little time I had left until day 357, anyway. We'd have to meet up at the clock tower another day.

"Alexa? Are you coming?" Roxas called, snapping me out of my thoughts. I nodded, carefully climbing up onto an old dresser. The Undercroft appeared to be some sort of storage room, and heaps of dusty furniture rested in the corners and along the sides of the room. It made me kind of sad for some reason, all that old furniture just sitting there. It wasn't just furniture, actually- a painting leaned against the dresser I was standing on, a rug was propped against the wall, and a few books that had escaped the bookshelf in the room lay on the stone floor. I'd skimmed over the titles of those books once, and they were all old ones I'd never heard of.

From the dresser, I nervously stepped up onto a wooden table perched atop two wardrobes. It was solid beneath my feet, but standing on a haphazard pile of old furniture always made me nervous. I was relieved to step onto the firm stone ledge that led the Secret Passage.

Roxas and I didn't run into too many Heartless in the passage, but there was no sign of Xaldin either. Once all the Possessors were defeated and we exited out into the West Hall, we were both discouraged. "Maybe Xaldin went to another world," my friend suggested as we headed toward the Entrance Hall. "Or returned to the castle after we got here."

"Maybe," I replied with a shrug. I didn't think it was very likely that he had gone to a different world, but the latter suggestion was definitely possible. Then again, if this mission had been in the video game, what was the point of searching the castle for someone who wasn't even there? Xaldin had to be in this world somewhere.

"You checked the bridge, right?" Roxas asked for the third time.

"Yes," I answered, holding back a sigh. "I checked the courtyard, too. Should we look there again? Maybe he's been moving around the castle, and that's why we can't find him."

"It can't hurt to look," Roxas agreed.

So we made our way through the Entrance Hall and out into the courtyard. Once we were outside, a movement in the shadows of the left side of the courtyard caught my attention."Xaldin!" I cried, immediately recognizing the black-haired man. I didn't see him very often, and I'd never been sent on a mission with him, but I knew it was the Organization's number III I saw opening a Dark Corridor in a corner of the courtyard.

Roxas had spotted him to. "Hey, where are you going?!" he called, running over to the tall man. I hurried after him, not sure we'd be able to reach Xaldin before he had vanished into the Corridor. To my relief, however, he passed and turned when he heard us approach.

"Roxas... Alexa... Why are you here?" The black-haired man questioned as he reached him. The Dark Corridor still waited behind him, its shadows constantly shifting and changing colors frrom eerie hues of purple, blue, and black. I forced myself to look away from it and focus on Xaldin. His expression always seemed so serious and stern.

"Saïx sent us to find you," I replied.

"Yeah," Roxas added. "You never came back after your last mission."

The tall Organization member eyed Roxas and I, his gaze harsh and intense. I forced myself not to flinch as he stared at me. "How presumptuous," he finally spoke, turning toward the shadowy portal waiting for him. I wasn't entirely sure what that word meant, but I guessed it was something like "jumping to conclusions."

Just before Xaldin stepped into the Corridor, Roxas spoke up. "What's kept you here so long, anyway?"

The dark-haired man paused again. "Just... making a few preparations," he finally answered.

 _Preparations for what?_ I wondered, glancing over at Roxas to see if he knew what Xaldin was talking about. My friend looked as confused as I was.

"Preparations for what?" Roxas asked, stealing the question I had just thought.

The tall man turned his head toward us, just a couple of steps away from the corridor. "It won't be much longer now. Things here should become quite interesting."

Roxas glanced over at me, frowning thoughtfully.

"A shame you've wasted your time searching for me, when I was never lost in the first place," Xaldin commented before stepping into the Corridor and vanishing, leaving nothing behind but a few stray wisps of shadow as the portal closed behind him.

Roxas and I stood there in silence for a few seconds before I spoke up. "Do you.. Do you know what he was talking about?"

I wasn't really surprised when my friend shook his head. "No. Do you?"

"Nope." Although I bet it was something important in a future Kingdom Hearts game. How I wished I had played more of the games than just 358/2 Days! How was I supposed to save my friends when I knew very little of the canon timeline outside of the game I had played?

 _Stop thinking like that,_ I scolded myself silently.

"Do you think Saïx knows about whatever Xaldin's doing?" Roxas wondered.

I shrugged. "I don't know." That was the truth. "I guess we should head back to the castle. Our mission's complete, right?"

The worry faded from my friend's eyes and was immediately replaced with hope. "Why would we RTC? Let's go up to the clock tower!"

Roxas looked so happy and excited it broke my heart, regardless of whether I actually had one or not. His smile was so kind, his eyes so bright. I wanted to nod in agreement and go with him. But I just... I couldn't.. I was supposed to meet Axel and Xion at the islands. We needed to come up with a plan to change the canon timeline. I had to go. It was important.

Athat moment, I wished more than anything that I could have gone up to the clock tower instead. If all four of us went, if would be perfect. But Roxas was mad at Axel, Xion didn't seem very talkative, and Axel... I didn't know what to think about him. In my mind, I could picture the four of us up at the tower, our ice creams melting under the beautiful light of the setting sun. We would laugh and talk about random stuff, and everything would be just like it had been in the past. It seemed so long ago now, those days where we would meet up at the clock tower after practically every mission and eat sea-salt ice cream. I missed the old times.

But it would be like that again someday, I knew. We just had to come up with a plan to change the events at the end of the game, and then everything would be okay. No more sneaking around Roxas's back to meet up at the islands, no more worrying about what was going to happen on day 358, no more lies.

"I... I can't," I told Roxas reluctantly. "How about tomorrow, though?"

The joy immediately vanished from Roxas's eyes, and I felt a flood of guilt wash through me. "Oh. Okay, tomorrow then." He turned away, and a Dark Corridor appeared in front of him.

"I'm really sorry," I told him as we stepped into the portal. I felt horrible for disappointing my friend.

"It's fine," my blond friend assured me, but I knew him too well. He was hurt.

Which didn't really make much sense. I mean, we had just met up at the clock tower two days ago. Why was it that big of a deal that I couldn't now?

Did... Did Roxas know I was meeting up with Axel and Xion without him?

I really hoped not. I suddenly felt a rush of guilt at the thought of my friend finding out about our meetings at Destiny Islands. He wouldn't find out though, right?

We walked through the rest of the Corridor in silence until we reached the Castle That Never Was. "See you tomorrow," I told Roxas.

"See ya," he replied, smiling for a second before turning and walking down one of the castle's many hallways.

I watched him until he turned a corner and disappeared from sight. I felt really bad about not going to the clock tower with him, but I really had to meet with Axel and Xion. I was just trying to help him and Xion and possibly Axel, anyway. My friends and I would have countless sunsets together in the future, so what was one missed one now... right?

For some reason, that thought didn't really cheer me up. I still had my worries about the upcoming events according to the video game's timeline. Was it really even possible to change them? Was I just fooling myself with false hope? Maybe Roxas and Xion's and Axel's canon fate was unavoidable. What had Xion said when I spotted her in the tunnels? "Trying to change what's destined to happen will only get you more deeply involved with destiny," or something similar.

But Riku had probably told her that, I reasoned. The silver-haired teen seemed determined that the canon ending should play out. Axel was so sure that it shouldn't. Xion seemed unsure.

And then there was me, the only person in this world who really knew the whole story. I wasn't even actually from the Kingdom Hearts universe, and yet I knew enough about the future to possibly change my friends' fate- and maybe Sora's. If I altered the timeline so that Sora woke up sooner or later than he was supposed to, just how much would that change? Everything? Nothing?

It scared me to think about how much I could possibly change if I just messed up one small thing in the timeline. Well, I mean, it'd have to be a pretty big thing... like saving my friends. The familiar rush of doubt washed over me, but I shook my head and ignored it. No more worries. No more hesitation. I had wanted to change the ending of the video game, I had been given a chance to do so, and I was going to take it. I could be brave, and I was going to do so. I wasn't Alea anymore. I was Alexa. Number fifteen in the organization. I was a Keyblade wielder. I had fought against giant Heartless and won. I had changed so much. No longer was I too scared to do much more than sit by and hope that things would turn out okay- I was willing to work hard and fight for what I wanted. I hadn't run away from Riku yesterday, even when he said he was willing to fight me if he had to.

I wasn't sure if I liked who I had become, but it wasn't like I could change it. Alexa was who I was now, and I didn't know if I'd ever be Alea again. I mean, okay, I was still actually the same person. But I had changed so much during my time in this world, it almost didn't seem that way.

Honestly... I didn't know what to think about it.

I held out my left hand and a Dark Corridor appeared, which I immediately stepped into. I hoped that today, at the islands, my friends and I would finally come up with a way to change things.

And regardless of whether I actually had a heart or not, I had a good feeling that we would.

 **Author's Note:**

 **I'm sorry this chapter wasn't really that great. It was supposed to be part of the last one, but I decided it would be kinda long so I split them up. Once again I've run into writer's block, and I struggled with writing this chapter. I tried my best though, and I really hope y'all liked it! I apologize that it was kind of a filler chapter. The plot will be advancing really fast from now on though, as time is running out for Alexa!**

 **Thank you so much to guest reviewer Anya5544! I hope this chapter didn't disappoint!**

 **Hopefully the next chapter won't take me as long to write! As always, thank you so much for reading and feel free to leave a review!**


	30. Chapter 30: Broken Promises

**Long, rambling apology of an author's note at the end of the chapter!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, Disney, or any of the dialogue, worlds, characters, or ANYTHING from the games/manga/novels.**

 **Recap:**

 _Alea Hart had just finished playing Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days when she suddenly found herself inside the world of that game. Xemnas greeted her in front of the mansion in Twilight Town and recruited her into Organization XIII. Now known as Alexa, she spends her first few days as a Nobody (supposedly) wondering if, maybe, she could find a way to change the canon events of the video game and save Roxas and Xion. It's a difficult decision, as the fate of several worlds depends on her new friends going back to Sora so he can awaken. During her first week in the Organization, Alexa discovers she can now summon a Keyblade, which she later names Kingdom of Broken Hearts due to its appearance. As time passes, more and more things start to go wrong- Axel reads her diary and learns her secrets, Riku approaches Alexa and tries to convince her to let things play out the way they're supposed to in the canon timeline, Xion finds out the terrible fate awaiting her, and time continues to run out. Alexa's battling against both Heartless and time as she continues working for the Organization, hanging out at the clock tower with Axel, Roxas, and Xion after her mission each day. As if all of this wasn't already enough, she also discovers a mysterious ability she now possesses that allows her to unwillingly affect the emotions of others during battle- even those of Nobodies. Now it's day 322. Time is almost up. She, Axel, and Xion have been meeting at Destiny Islands after their missions occasionally to discuss things, but these gatherings usually only result in frustration. As the days pass by, the events from the game become less and less clear in her memory. Will Alexa find a way to change her friends' fate, or end up listening to Riku and let the events unfold as they do in the video game?_

 _In the last chapter, Alexa had been assigned a mission with Roxas at Beast's Castle to find Xaldin. After a long search and a fight against a large Heartless that reminded Alexa how Xion's existence was weakening Roxas, they found the Organzation's third member and their mission was complete. Roxas wanted them to go to the clock tower for ice cream, but Alexa had plans to meet up with Axel and Xion at Destiny Islands to discuss what they should do to change the video game's events._

 **End of Recap**

Looking back now, I think that day 322 was when everything started to go really downhill. I mean, it kind of had been for awhile, but I was too deeply involved in my own worries to realize it. Day 322 was when I finally became aware of just how much things had spiraled out of my control. I had been focusing so much on keeping those doubting, whispering voices in my head quiet that I forgot to look around, be alert, and observe what was going on. I didn't realize this until it was too late. Always too late. Just a few steps behind, or maybe an entire mile.

I always used to just trust my heart to do the right thing. Now that I was a Nobody, it was becoming harder and harder to do so.

But I refused to give up.

 **Chapter Thirty: Broken Promises**

The search for Xaldin had taken longer than an average mission, so I expected both of my friends to already be at the islands when I arrived. To my surprise, however, only Axel was waiting for me by the beach. My tall friend glanced over as I exited the Dark Corridor and stepped out onto the sand of the island.

"Sorry I'm late," I apologized, glancing around for any sign of the third person we were supposed to be meeting with. "Roxas and I were sent to look for Xaldin at Beast's Castle, and it took forever because we had to search the place like three times before-" My long, rambling explanation trailed off as I realized our dark-haired friend was nowhere to be seen. "Where's Xion?"

Axel looked away, facing toward the ocean. "She's either really late, or she's not coming."

Confusion and worry flooded through me at his words. Why wasn't Xion there? Did she change her mind about helping us? Had something bad happened? Was she still out on her mission for the day? "We should go look for her," I decided.

To my surprise, Axel frowned and shook his head slightly. "What good'll that do? By the time we find her, it'll be too late to talk for long. We'll just attract the rest of the Organization's attention if we go running around from world to world searching for her. She probably either got stuck with a really tricky mission or just doesn't want to deal with all... _this_ today." He waved his arms around vaguely at the second-to-last word, but I knew what he was referring to: the timeline and our efforts to change it. All our work that seemed to be getting us nowhere.

Although, we really hadn't done that much, had we? This was only our second meeting to come up with ideas, and Xion hadn't even shown up. Didn't she care about saving herself and Roxas? Didn't she want to change things?

To be completely honest, I was kind of hurt that Xion hadn't come. I mean, she was probably just busy with her mission, but still...

"Well, the two of us can still have a meeting, can't we?" I asked hopefully.

Axel hesitated, considering. "If you really want to," he finally agreed, crossing his arms. "But not for long."

I was honestly surprised he had agreed. Despite his sudden change of heart (or... non-existent heart, I guess) the other day, he still seemed... What was the right word? Withdrawn? Reluctant? I wasn't sure. What I did know, though, was that I finally had to chance to actually come up with a plan for preventing the video game's ending from actually happening.

I opened my mouth to speak, but suddenly... I didn't know what to say. I had imagined arguments in my head where I convinced Axel that saving both Sora and Roxas was the right thing to do, and then he would agree and come up with some brilliant plan and everything would work out perfectly. But now... none of the things I had wanted to say sounded quite right. In fact, they sounded kind of stupid. Axel was already on my side, so no need to convince him about that. I didn't want to bring up the whole "we can't do anything that'll hurt Sora" thing right away, because what if Axel got frustrated and stormed off? So what was I supposed to say?!

"Well?" Axel prompted, uncrossing his arms and reaching up to scratch his head. "We don't have all day."

"Okay, I'll just come out and ask the obvious question," I finally spoke. "How are we going to fight against destiny and change our friends' fates?"

To my dismay, Axel shrugged. "Isn't that kind of your job to figure out? After all, you're the one who just magically appeared as a Nobody in Twilight Town. You can't really expect me to come up with all the ideas."

"Are you serious?! You said you'd help me!"

"Exactly. _Help_. Not do all the work for you," the tall redhead shot back. He was looking at me like I was just some annoying little kid he'd gotten stuck looking after. Then again, maybe that was what he actually thought of me. Maybe I wasn't even his friend. That thought hurt, but it was possibly the truth. I know he used to not trust me. Was that still the case?

"But I have no idea what to do!" I argued. I felt so helpless.

"Really?" Axel tilted his head slightly, frowning like he didn't believe me. "I think you do. You just don't realize it yet."

His words surprised me. What was he talking about?! If I knew what to do, I would have done it already.

"Think, Alexa," Axel urged. "If tomorrow was day 358, what would you do?"

I hesitated. "Well, I'd make sure Roxas doesn't leave the Organization," I finally reasoned. "If he doesn't run away, Riku can't fight him."

"You really think that, don't you?" The look on my tall friend's face was almost... sympathetic. "If Riku wants to attack Roxas, he can do it anytime. Could be while Roxas's on a mission, maybe even at the clock tower. I don't think that guy cares whether our friend is in the Organization or not."

Axel was right. I knew that deep down, but kept ignoring it in my desperate hope that maybe some aspects of the timeline would remain the same. I know it was selfish, but it made things easier knowing when they would happen. It was like a very vague script for a movie. I knew certain events that would happen, I just didn't quite know the actions leading up to those events.

But I had changed one part of the script, and now the rest had to be scribbled out and rewritten. I had been so convinced that the canon timeline wanted to stay the same that it never really occurred to me that it was adapting and changing.

And that I might not even have as much time left as I thought.

Axel must have judged from my expression that reality had finally sunken in for me. I'm not entirely sure what my face must have looked like, but I felt a fresh rush of panic and urgency. I couldn't put this off anymore. I had to make sure Roxas didn't merge with Sora, but yet I couldn't let anything bad happen to the brown-haired boy... and on top of it all I had to stop the Organization from completing their goal. So yeah, that was a lot of stress. "Do you see now why it's so important that we act quickly?" The sympathy in his eyes was still there. He wasn't mad at me. He was on my side.

I nodded. "But, no offense, you're wrong about one thing." I waited a second, hoping Axel wouldn't be mad at my statement. He only looked mildly surprised and raised an eyebrow, so I continued. "I honestly have no idea what to do to save Roxas and Xion without-"

"Without messing something up, right?" Axel interrupted impatiently. "Alexa, you worry too much. Back in your own world, does everyone know exactly what's going to happen in their lives? Do you immediately know the benefit or consequence of each action?"

"Well... No, but-"

"So pretend you're back home. Pretend that video game never existed. If I told you that something bad was going to happen to Roxas and Xion, what would you do?"

I tried to stay calm, I really did, but he was frustrating me again. "I can't just throw away all my knowledge of the future," I argued. "It's important."

"I'm not asking you to _actually_ forget it, pipsqueak." The tall redhead's voice had risen in volume, and he quickly lowered it as he continued. "It's hypothetical. Just pretend. You have an imagination, don't you?"

I fought the instinct to let my hands curl into fists at the annoying nickname Axel called me. "Of course I do."

"Then-" Suddenly Axel broke off, turning away from me and looking toward the sun. "We've been here too long," he muttered, frowning as he ran a hand through his hair. "We need to head back." I followed his gaze and, sure enough, the brilliant tropical sun had started to sink down toward the seemingly-endless ocean.

I wanted to protest, but I knew it wouldn't do any good. We didn't want anyone to come looking for us and discover that we were meeting here. "Tomorrow?" I asked hopefully.

To my relief, he nodded. "It's risky to be meeting up so often, but time's running out. We don't really have a choice."

So we headed back to the castle via Dark Corridor, exiting in one of the many hallways and going our separate ways. I headed to my room, as there wasn't really anywhere else for me to go. Roxas would have left the clock tower by now, and Axel had already explained why I shouldn't go looking for Xion. Another day had passed. The end was one day closer.

But that was okay, because that meant that my friends were one day closer to a happy ending.

At least, I sure hoped they were. I'd do everything I could to make it happen.

 **~Time-Skip~**

 **Day 323**

"Seriously, who thought it was a good idea to make the Organization uniforms long black cloaks?" I muttered as I dismissed Kingdom of Broken Hearts and summoned a Dark Corridor. "Didn't they realize that a good number of their missions were going to be in a desert?"

There was no one around to answer me. I had finally completed my mission for the day, which (just my luck) happened to be in Agrabah. I'm usually not the type to make sarcastic comments to myself, but it had been a long day and my mind was still plagued by my worries about the whole gotta-save-your-friends-and-Sora-and-don't-get-Riku-mad-at-you thing. There was nothing I wanted more at that moment than to meet up at the clock tower with my friends to eat ice cream. I could practically taste the salty-sweet treat as I let out a small sigh and stepped into the corridor. As much as I would have liked to go to the clock tower, Axel and I were meeting up at the islands again. That was more important, because we would work on coming up with a way to get a happy ending for everyone. Or, at least, to avoid the sad ending of the video game.

I know it was selfish, but... I wasn't exactly thrilled about going from one hot world to another. Then again, it wasn't like Twilight Town was the coolest world ever, either (referring to temperature, not awesomeness). It definitely wasn't as bad as the islands or Agrabah, though.

As I walked through the Dark Corridor toward Destiny Islands, I kept feeling like I was forgetting something. Something do to with the timeline, maybe? Had anything important happened today? Maybe a big event was supposed to take place. I just couldn't think of what it was. I tried to push the nagging thought away, but it refused to leave me alone.

That's how it often is, isn't it? Sometimes this annoying little thought gets into your brain- an absolutely useless one that serves no purpose besides frustrating you- and it just hovers there like an itch you can never scratch until- finally!- you get that annoying little whisper to shut up or fade back into the shadows of your mind.

So I forced myself to focus on my trek through the Dark Corridor to meet with Axel at the islands. I attempted to drown out the small voice in my mind that kept insisting I was forgetting something by thinking about what my tall friend had said the previous day. I had done plenty of thinking last night and earlier today, but now I had to focus on collecting my thoughts and deciding what I was going to say to Axel.

I understood that time was running out, and that we had to hurry up and figure out how to save Roxas and Xion. I really did. I just had no idea how we were going to manage to change our friend's horrible fates. Coming up with plans had never been my thing. Axel was supposed to be good at that, right? After all, it had taken him about ten seconds to come up with the idea of Roxas and I covering for Xion when she couldn't summon her Keyblade. He was the one who suggested I take over Sora's role as he-

 _Wait. Why was I still thinking about that?_ I didn't want to steal Sora's role. It would never work. I wasn't... well, I wasn't _Sora_. Only the brown-haired Keyblade wielder could save the worlds. My job was simply to save my friends without letting anything bad happen to Sora. It was nothing compared to what the poor teenager would have to face after he woke up. Actually, it was also nothing compared to what he had already been through. So who was I to complain? I had three great friends in this world, a Keyblade of my very own, and a mysterious ability that could somehow affect emotions. I was living my dream to go on an adventure- a _real_ adventure, one that would make a difference and help people. I was so lucky.

I guess... I just never really thought about how difficult and heartbreaking adventures actually are. Heroes in books and movies and video games and anime and so forth basically always suffer through hardship before they reach their goal. Otherwise the story wouldn't be as interesting and dramatic, right? It's one thing to read about or watch an adventure, but it's another thing entirely to actually live one. I had been in the Kingdom Hearts universe for nearly an entire year, and I was sick of adventure. I was sick of the fighting; the constant pressure to figure out how to save my friends; not knowing why or how I was even in this world.

Yet... I really shouldn't complain. After all, my wish had come true. I was incredibly lucky. How many people probably dream about magically ending up inside their favorite fictional world? Here it was, happening to me, and all I could do was complain, complain, complain. I had gotten to _meet_ Roxas and Xion and Axel. I'd sat next to them on top of the clock tower under Twilight Town's brilliant setting sun. I'd fought beside them. And now I was working with them to change their destinies.

So why did something about all this just feel so... wrong?

 _Stop worrying, Alexa,_ I scolded myself mentally. _It's not going to help solve anything._

To my surprise, when I stepped out of the Dark Corridor into the blindingly bright light of Destiny Islands, Axel was already there- and he wasn't alone. He and Xion were standing near the edge of the beach, talking intently. Well, _Axel_ was talking. Xion seemed to be doing little more than nodding in response.

"Hey!" I called out in greeting, running over to join my friends. Axel didn't seem surprised to see me in the slightest, while Xion startled and spun around as I approached. "Xion! Where were you yesterday? Axel and I were worried about you."

Our dark-haired friend looked down, avoiding my gaze. "Sorry." That didn't exactly answer my question.

Before I could ask her again why she hadn't been at the islands the day before, Axel spoke up. "Alexa, you've gotta make up your mind, and fast." His expression was completely serious as he spoke, his fiery mint-green eyes studying me intently. "Time is seriously running out." I had a suspicion that he wasn't telling me everything. There was something that he was holding back.

"I've told you, my mind's already made up. I'll do whatever it takes to change the game's ending- as long as it doesn't hurt Sora." I boldly met his gaze, ignoring the fear whispering inside my head. Axel wouldn't hurt me. He was my friend.

Our tall friend opened his mouth to say something, then closed it as his mind obviously changed. A frustrated sigh left him as he shook his head in disappointment. "There's no talking you out of that, is there?" he finally spoke after a few long seconds.

I nodded. "There's gotta be a way. I know there is."

"Knowing that a way exists isn't doing us any good, Alexa!" Axel shouted, causing me to flinch. He quickly calmed down, crossing his arms and looking toward the ocean besides us. "You know, there are rumors about you among the Organization. Xemnas doesn't really tell us a lot about his plans, so it gives us a lot of room for imagination. The other members are starting to suspect something's up with you- heck, I heard Luxord the other day wondering what world you're from. No one knows a lot about you. Xemnas never even told us your title. Just... Just be careful. And act quickly. Don't do anything suspicious."

"I'm never suspicious!"

"Axel's right, you know," Xion spoke up quietly. "I've heard the rumors too. And we all- all as in the three of us, I mean- we all know that time... it's really running out. I... I don't think I really have a choice. I have to go back to Sora. It's the right thing to do." She avoided our gazes as she spoke, instead staring out towards the ocean's peaceful waves.

"Xion, no!" I protested loudly, taking a step toward my dark-haired friend. "Don't... Don't even say that! There's another way, there _has_ to be. And we'll find it, okay? I promise you, we will find a way to make sure you and Roxas get the happy ending you deserve."

"Pipsqueak's right," Axel added, uncrossing his arms. "Don't go doing anything drastic just yet. We still have time. Gotta say, though, we are cutting it awfully close." He shot me a meaningful look, which I quickly looked away from. Yeah, I was very clearly aware that Day 358 kept creeping closer and closer! Thank you for the reminder, Axel!

...When had I become so sarcastic? I guess the stress was really getting to me.

"Sorry," I apologized. "I'm doing the best I can." _But it's never good enough, is it?_

"It's not your fault, Alexa," Xion assured me. "Knowing the future, it's... it's a lot of responsibility. You know what will happen, but all it takes is just one small thing to change and then... everything's different."

I blinked in surprise at her words. I had forgotten that Xion knew the future too. I mean, I remembered she knew about her canon fate, but it was difficult to keep track of who knew what. Xion... Xion knew that a lot depended on Sora waking up. She knew that both her and Roxas would eventually go back to him if the canon timeline stayed the same. Well, that was depressing and unfair and I wasn't about to let it happen. I was going to save them.

But I couldn't do it on my own.

"So we just have to change some stuff," Axel pointed out. "The question is, what?"

Such a small question that had so much power. What could we do to steer events in the right direction? What even was the "right" direction, anyways? Obviously one that meant both my friends and Sora got to live, without putting any worlds in danger.

Once again I found myself wishing I had played more of the Kingdom Hearts games and knew more of the canon timeline. Wasn't the series still not finished? Weren't more games supposed to be released? What if my friends would eventually get a happy ending if I just let the canon timeline play out?

Yeah, that didn't seem likely. I couldn't risk it. Besides, even if a happy future was awaiting them in the canon timeline, they still would have gone through so much and I couldn't bear the thought of that. They'd already been through a lot as it was.

Why was the universe so determined to make life difficult for my friends?! They had done nothing to deserve this.

Then again, had I really done anything to deserve all the bad stuff that had happened in my own life? The universe doesn't seem to care about what kind of person you are. Good or not-so-good, trouble gets thrown at you and you just have to deal with it.

Life is so unfair.

"I don't know," I finally answered, my voice barely above a whisper. "I just... I don't know."

This wasn't fair. I wanted to change my friend's fates so much, but I had no idea how to do so.

Would I figure it out in time?

I had to.

At least I wasn't alone. I had Axel and Xion by my side. I was so grateful for their friendship, for their help.

"We'll figure it out, Alexa," Xion promised. "There's still time."

I really wanted to believe her, but I just couldn't. Something kept telling me we didn't have as much time left as we thought.

 **~Time-Skip~**

Our meeting on day 323 didn't last too much longer. Nothing worth mentioning happened beyond what I've already told you. My friends and I soon parted ways for the day, and I headed back my room at the Castle that Never Was.

 _Another day gone,_ I thought as I gazed out my room's small window. Was I any closer to getting my friends a happy ending?

 _"There's still time,"_ Xion had said.

 _"We still have time. Gotta say, though, we are cutting it awfully close,"_ Axel had reminded me.

 _There's still time._ My friends kept telling me this, but I wondered if even they truly believed it. It seemed lately like time was one thing we didn't really have. As Axel had pointed out, if Riku really wanted to attack Roxas, he could do it anytime. There wasn't any reason he had to wait until day 358. For all we knew, it could be Game Over tomorrow. Or the day after that. Or maybe even today. We had no way of knowing.

Then again, in the video game, hadn't Riku waited to fight Roxas for some reason?

I wished I could remember better!

"What am I supposed to do?" I whispered to the stars outside my window. Each star was a world, wasn't it? Once again I found myself wondering if any of them could possibly be where I came from. Was the Kingdom Hearts universe completely and totally separate from my own, or could I just hop in a gummi ship or whatever and travel there? Could it be possible that if I wandered through the Dark Corridors long enough I'd find my way home? The thought had never really occurred to me before that maybe I wasn't truly as far away from my own world as I had thought.

But even if it was possible to go back to my own world, I couldn't yet. I had to save my friends.

Surely I had been brought to the Kingdom Hearts universe for a reason. Fate couldn't have just messed up and dumped me here by mistake.

Right?

 _I promised my friends I would save them,_ I reminded myself silently. _I never break a promise._

Barely had that thought finished running through my mind before another one rammed into it, causing me to gasp as I suddenly remembered something kind of important.

 _I'd told Roxas I'd meet him at the clock tower today!_

"Oh _no_ ," I breathed, guilt and panic and worry flooding through me. I immediately reached out my hand and summoned a Dark Corridor, running through it faster than I ever had before. _How could I have forgotten?_ So much for never breaking promises! _Nice going, Alexa!_

Roxas had really wanted for us to hang out today, and I'd totally forgotten. I was such a horrible person- or Nobody, or whatever I was.

I desperately hoped Roxas hadn't left Twilight Town yet, but deep down I knew he probably wouldn't still be there. Axel, Xion, and I had been at the Islands for a decent amount of time. _Please let him still be there!_ I silently begged the universe as I hurried through the Corridor.

But the instant I stepped out onto the clock tower, I knew I was too late. There was no sign of my blond friend anywhere. My only companions were the gentle wind and quiet sounds from the town below. I gazed up into the setting sun and felt tears forming in my eyes. How could I have forgotten? I'd let my friend down. I'd let _myself_ down, breaking a promise like that.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to the sunset. "I am so, so sorry."

How was I supposed to find a way to save my friends when I couldn't even keep the most simple of promises?

I was a terrible friend. A terrible, terrible friend.

The dark corridor was still open behind me, waiting for me to retreat back into its shadowy oasis. I had nowhere else to go besides back to the Castle That Never Was. Maybe I could find Roxas and apologize?

Yeah, right, like I'd ever manage to find him among the confusing maze of hallways that made up the castle. I'd have better luck trying to spot a single person in a crowd from the top of the clock tower. Maybe I'd be able to talk to him before our missions tomorrow.

I felt terrible. I may have been a Nobody, unable to experience emotion and all that, but I really _felt_ awful. I was _crying_.

How was that even possible?

I turned back toward the Corridor and had just taken a single step into its shadows when I heard the familiar sound of another portal opening behind me. Kingdom of Broken Hearts materialized in my hand immediately as I spun around toward the sound, expecting to see Riku. Who else would it be?

To my surprise, it wasn't the silver-haired teen stepping out of the Dark Corridor. Standing there on top of the clock tower, the shadowy portal fading into wisps behind him, was _Roxas._

"Alexa!" he called, waving in greeting. He didn't seem mad or upset at all. He seemed... cheerful. "You're still here? You waited? Sorry I'm so late, my mission took a long time. Thanks for waiting for me!"

"I-" I didn't know what to say. Roxas was _thanking_ me, when I had forgotten we were supposed to meet. "Actually, I- I just got here too. I may... I may have forgotten we were supposed to meet up," I confessed. It would have been so easy to lie and say I'd been waiting, but I was so sick of all the fibs and falsehoods. I just wanted to be honest for once.

"Oh." The light in Roxas's eyes faded for a second and I felt even worse. I hated upsetting my friends. "Well, I'm glad you remembered."

"You're not mad?"

Roxas shook his head slightly. "Nah. We've had a lot to worry about lately, haven't we?"

 _If only you knew how much I've had to worry about!_ I thought, guilt washing over me once again.

"That's for sure," I sighed, letting the Dark Corridor behind me close and fade away. "How'd your mission go today?" It was nice getting to just talk like this. No attacking Heartless, no worrying about the upcoming events, just my friend and I and the sunset.

"Not bad," Roxas replied, sitting down on the tower's small ledge. "It was in Neverland today. Collecting Organization emblems. Luxord was there too." His gaze traveled up to the sunset and lingered there while he spoke.

I sat down on the ledge to Roxas's left. "Oh, cool. Did you get them all?"

"Most of them," he confessed. "I gave up on the last few. I'd already met the mission requirements."

"You, giving up early?" That didn't sound like Roxas at all. "What's up?"

"Nothing, I promise. I just got tired. It took forever, flying around trying to collect all those stupid emblems." Roxas finally tore his gaze from the setting sun and glanced toward me with a reassuring smile. "You and Xion need to stop worrying about me."

"Yeah, well, you need to stop making us worry."

"I don't mean to, I swear!" My blond friend protested. "It's not my fault Saïx hates me and keeps giving me the hardest missions."

"I don't think he actually _hates_ you. I don't think Saïx really likes anybody."

Roxas smiled faintly, turning back toward the sunset. "Yeah, fair point. So how'd your mission go today?"

"Not bad," I replied with a shrug. "Guess what world it was."

"Agrabah?"

"Of course."

"Ouch, sorry." Roxas shot me a sympathetic smile. "Giant Heartless or just heart collection?"

"Just heart collection. It wasn't too difficult."

"Well, that's good a least."

We fell silent after that, staring up at the setting sun for awhile before parting ways and returning to our rooms. I went back to my window and gazed out at the stars again, wondering what worlds they were.

Another day may have come to a close- another day full of chances to change the timeline and get my friends their happy ending- but tomorrow was another one. Axel and Xion had both been right- time certainly was running out, but that was okay. We'd make the most of what time we had and find a way to save my friends. We could do it. I knew we could.

After all, I had my friends by my side. With their help, surely I could do this.

Little was I aware then that everything I knew would soon fall apart even more than it already had.

 **Author's Note:**

 **HEY! I'M BACK! :D**

 **I am so, so sorry I basically vanished from Fanfiction for almost a year. It's been awhile, hasn't it?**

 **Confession time: This chapter is called Broken Promises not only because Alexa broke a promise, but also because I very nearly broke a promise to myself. I told myself I'd never give up on this fanfic no matter what. Well, I did give up for awhile. I didn't plan on updating this. Writer's block and fear I'd mess up and publish a horrible chapter and other stuff got the best of me and I quit.**

 **But y'all kept favoriting and following and reading this story and finally I decided I couldn't just leave it unfinished. (Also KH3 coming out really helped inspire me to write this again.) Seriously, thank you so much. Everyone reading this, thank you. I'm so sorry for disappearing for so long. Thank y'all for over 19,000 views. Thank you for continuing to read this story and not giving up on it even after I myself had. You all are the best.**

 **A huge thank you this chapter to all the reviewers and everyone who sent me encouraging messages- y'all are the best and there wouldn't be a chapter 30 without you. :) I really hoped you all liked this chapter.**

 **You may have noticed my writing style kinda changed throughout the chapter. A lot of the chapter was written a looonnggg time ago- probably last summer or so. My writing style has changed quite a bit since then, but I tried my best to keep it somewhat similar for this chapter.**

 **Sorry this was kind of a depressing chapter. I tried my best to make it slightly more cheerful but we're at a point in the story where it's gonna be not too happy for awhile. Sorry.**

 **Thank you so much for reading. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. Thank you.**

 **I'm not sure when the next chapter will be finished, but I'll try my best to not take _almost a year_ to write it this time. Sorry again about the long wait! **

**Thank you again for reading, and hope to see y'all next chapter! :) As always, reviews are greatly appreciated.**


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